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Out of all of the disgusting meat creatures it was trapped here with, it supposed the spider was the least revolting. Being fused with the native wildlife gave them significant advantages over their fully human counterparts despite their young age, and their ingenuity and general stubbornness were nothing to be scoffed at. The worst mistake WX-78 ever made had been admitting that it thought any of this.
It had only been a passing remark of the spider’s capabilities compared to the other, meeker humans but it was still too late. There was an immediate light in their eyes. “Really?” they had asked, and that was the moment it knew it had made a terrible mistake.
No amount of “DON’T LET IT GET TO YOUR HEAD.” could stop them now. It was that day it had accidentally acquired a second, much furrier, shadow.
They had always been more tolerant of WX-78’s behavior than the other survivors, maybe a form of misguided solidarity, or perhaps because it was the only survivor that had never expressed any fear of them (And why would it? Even fused with a spider, WX-78 was superior in every way). But now hardly a day could go by now without being trailed at, what the spider must have believed was, a polite distance.
It had been sent to collect the rabbits from their traps. A demeaning task when it had so many better uses of its time, but one that needed to be completed regardless. And as per usual, the spider had… unofficially volunteered to help.
It glanced back at the spider who was trying and failing to be sneaky. They immediately ducked behind cover, though their faint giggling gave them away. At this point the antics were slowing even itself down. The constant giggling and tripping and mayhem were an awful, paranoia inducing distraction, that it repeatedly had to turn around to keep an eye on. Not because it was worried for their safety, obviously, it simply knew the wrath that would come upon it if Webber were to be injured under its watch.
It knew it would regret this. “I KNOW YOU’RE THERE.” immediately the giggling fell silent.
“STOP HIDING. COME HERE.”
There were a few seconds pause before the spider's face crept into view. “YOUR INCESSANT NOISE IS DISTRACTING AND SLOWS MY PROGRESS. IF YOU REFUSE TO STOP BEING A NUISANCE, AT LEAST STAY WHERE I CAN MONITOR YOU.”
A massive smile spread across the spider's face “Hooray!” they shouted, sprinting the short distance to its side before falling expectantly silent. Finally, at least savanna wasn't too far away now.
If it was quick it might make it there before the spider began talking again.
“So…” they started.
“SILENCE.”
The spider’s mouth snapped shut and there were a few more moments of merciful quiet before… “were you born a robot?”
It could feel heat starting to whistle from the vents in its head and wondered if the steam was hot enough to be visible yet. ”WHY DOES THAT CONCERN YOU?”
Webber shrugged, "I dunno. People tend to assume we were born a spider-person. Just thought it was important to ask is all. So..?"
"THE IMPLIED NOTION IS REPULSIVE. " It spat.
“It see…” They nodded, with exaggerated sagely understanding. “You know, a lot of people around camp don’t like you.”
Another survivor may have found a comment like that rude, but to WX-78 bluntness was something to be appreciated. Humans loved their strange and confusing social games, which it stately refused to participate in, but Webber was never one to mince words. Still, it wasn’t sure what they were getting at.
“IT IS MUTUAL THEN.” It said in reply. It wasn't looking for the friendship of its fellow survivors, their fear was a good enough replacement, and bare minimum cooperation made a fine second place.
“They’re always talking about how scary and mean you are, and how you're always talking about wanting to destroy them but… I don’t think you're really like that.”
WX-78 froze mid step and Webber stumbled to halt too. “YOU THINK I’M NOT CAPABLE?”
“Oh, no, no, no! I didn’t mean it like that I promise!”
“THEN WHAT WERE THE MEANING OF YOUR WORDS?”
“Well” they struggled for a moment. “I’m a monster too is all.”
WX-78 stared at them.
“We remember when they were scared of us too, at first. We remember how awful it felt… and how we’d get upset when they were scared of us over every little thing… like when we’d hiss on accident.” Webber tugged idly on their face arms, feeling the coarse fur like it was a lifeline. “We remember we wanted to lash out real bad, until they finally got used to us and things got better. That's why deep down we know you got niceness in you too!”
Nice..? The spider thought it was nice? “YOU ARE SORELY MISTAKEN.” It said, picking up a new, slightly faster pace than before.
“Mmmmmaybe we are… Or maybe we aren’t! But neither way is gonna stop us from trying so I guess we’ll just have to find out!”
Is this what it was like? That human ‘companionship’ they were always going on about? It was so strange and illogical. WX-78 was dangerous, a violent killing machine. Could they not see themselves poking a bear?
“Plus, despite all your yammering, you haven’t actually killed us yet.”
That was true, it hadn't yet.
It seethed.
“PERHAPS IF YOU QUIT SPEAKING I CAN KEEP IT THAT WAY.”
Everything about this conversation made it angry and confused. Something about what the spider said upset it though it couldn't quite pinpoint why. It hated it.
Finally, mercifully, the savanna was coming into view.
“LEAVE MY SIGHT. DO NOT BOTHER ME WHILE I FETCH THE RABBITS.”
Webber saluted, then without a further word, ran giggling off into the shrubs.
It hoped they got eaten by a frog.
For the first half hour it actually managed to get its job done successfully, gathering the rabbits and resetting the traps with no giggling or distractions. Frankly, almost too successfully. It was just starting to doubt its decision to allow Webber to run off on their own when suddenly-
Feet were quickly approaching from behind. It barely had time to turn, and only caught a glimpse as a little black shape launched at it. It stumbled back, nearly dropping the rabbit in its hand. Something was on its head- clinging to its neck and chassis- that something giggled.
“I COULD HAVE KILLED YOU.” It snapped, trying to glare at the spider now sitting on its shoulders.
“Ha! I scared ya, didn't I?” They didn't react to the threat at all, just smiled wider “I made something for you!” It felt something placed on its head and immediately its hand shot up to examine it.
“A FLOWER CROWN.”
It could feel Webber's expectant eyes boring down on it from above. Not that it cared what they thought. Its hand hovered over it, ready to tear it from its head and toss it. But… it didn’t. After a moment’s debate it let its hand fall, and the spider immediately brightened. “You do like it!”
“IF I FINALLY ACCEPT ONE OF YOUR INCESSANT KNICKNACKS PERHAPS YOU WILL FINALLY STOP TRYING TO OFFER ME MORE.”
They nodded vigorously “Got it! Less knicknacks, more flowers!”
“THAT IS NOT WHAT I–”.
“Too late!” they giggled. “You’re gonna be a pretty pretty flower princess”
It could feel its face heating, “ABSOLUTELY NOT! I WILL NOT BECOME THE LAUGHING STOCK OF CAMP FOR YOUR PETTY ENTERTAINMENT.”
“A lot of talk for something that doesn't care what the other survivors think.” they said. “You know, they're a lot nicer than you give them credit for.”
Was that true? It hadn’t exactly gotten to know them. had always presumed that, with how it treated them, they’d rather use it for scrap the moment it became vulnerable.
“Oh-! Or if you don't want to become a flower princess, you could be a flower prince- or better, a flower majesty !”
It put on a show of scowling, though, a flower majesty did sound far more acceptable. “FINE. WHATEVER IT WILL TAKE TO SILENCE YOU.”
“Hooray!” They cheered before WX-78 pushed them off its shoulders. “Oomf .”
“WE’RE DONE HERE. DON'T SLOW ME DOWN OR I WILL LEAVE YOU OUT HERE TO DIE.”
“Understood loud and clear.” They said, at this point no number of harsh words could wipe the smile from their face, they had already got what they wanted.
WX-78 was never getting rid of them now.