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"Pile up!"
"Tony we won't be able to tip him! We won't even be able to fit!"
"Then Hulk out."
"Haha - no."
"But Brucey! Hey, Tasha, get over here. Maybe you can help persuade Brucey."
"Yeah, dog pile on the sea-saw with us!"
"My friends, I still do not understand the purpose of this device."
"We'd be able to show you if Bruce would hulk out."
"Really, Tony, worse idea today."
"No no, I like."
"Thank you, Clint. You're always a buddy."
"That's only because you two planned this."
"Tasha! So good of you to join us - that's not joining us."
"No, it's not."
"Why aren't you joining us? Aren't we good enough for you?!"
"That's exactly why Clint."
"It's better than nothing Legolas. Now come on Brucey, let's - where's Steve? Hey - hey, Steve! Get your star spangled ass over here - OW! ...What the...what the fuck Bruce?! AHH!"
"We're in a park Tony. Watch your language."
"Yeah, Tony. Look at those parents evil-eye you."
"It's Steve's fault, that - OWWW! I didn't even say anything!"
“It can't be Captain America's fault that you swear, Stark."
"You're supposed to be neutral Romanov."
"And you're supposed to be at the office."
"Fuck that! Ouch! My fucking - HEY! Damn it Barton I - Maybe if you guys stop smacking me, I'd stop!"
"Tony Stark? Stop swearing? I'd love to see that failure."
"Fuck you Cli - Function! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I meant to say function!"
"Good boy Tony."
"...function you Bruce."
"Wouldn't we break the sea-saw this way?"
"Only if Brucey hulks out."
"No, Tony!"
"Meeeh. You guys always gang up on me - MOTHER FUNCTION!"
"Oh gawd, the stupid pain.The stupid rock digging into my back! Steve, get off me! Your muscles, they crush me!"
"It is a wise choice that you chose to stand there, Natasha."
"Clearly. And nice job knocking - "
"Holy fuck nuts - "
"Tony, what did we say about - where are you going?!"
"Bruce is green!"
"Did we land on him or something?!"
"RUN IF YOU WANT TO LIVE!"
"Clint, get back here. We gotta - "
"AAAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHH!!"
"RUN!"
"BLEEEMARRRQRGGGGHHHH!"
"Did I just hear a 'Q' in there?!"
"Keep running Clint!"
Fury was glaring at the holographic screen. Hard.
“Sir,” Maria walked in, “I just the news - how did that happen?” She stopped dead in her tracks. On screen was footage from an amateur cameraman about the Avengers causing a disturbance at a local childrens’ park, occupying a sea-saw, then of the Hulk scaring off everyone in the near vicinity. Somehow it had gotten out of hand and Hulk managed to go all the way to Grand Central Station. The cameraman turned away from the wreckage and zoomed in on Thor purchasing three hot dogs from a streetvendor.
“Where was Coulson when this happened?!” Fury barked out, “He was their overseer for the weekend. Where was he?!”
“He was seeing a cellist, sir.”
“...what?”
“Captain Rogers assured him and myself that he would be able to handle the team while he was away.”
“And that a good look at where that got them! Call those idiots in NOW!”
“Yes sir.”