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As much as he loves having his own room now, Felix misses living with all the members. He misses having to share a room.
More specifically, he misses the occasional cuddles, mostly with Changbin.
His younger self was bolder, just saying what he wanted.
When he was lying in bed at night after a long day, staring at the ceiling and waiting for sleep, Felix didn't hesitate to ask Changbin for a favour.
"Changbin Hyung," he whispered in his deep voice, not wanting to wake Chan, who was surprisingly already asleep in the bunk bed below him.
"Hm?" the older would hum back, already on the verge of sleep.
"I can't sleep. Can I lay with you?" the blonde whispered again.
There was a beat of silence before Changbin found the strength to mutter a quick "Alright.".
The younger didn't hesitate to throw the blanket off himself and excitedly, although quietly, climbed down the ladder to hop into the other's bed.
Changbin raised his blanket and scooched over, making space for Felix in his twin-sized bed. The excited boy carefully slid in next to the rapper, turning to face him. Changbin wrapped his hand around Felix's waist and pulled him closer, hugging him to sleep.
Now comfortable with his favourite Hyung, Felix became sleepy in a heartbeat. He closed his eyes, nuzzling into Changbin's chest with a smile. It's safe to say he slept well that night.
After that occurrence, it happened more and more. You could say it became a habit.
It wasn't uncommon anymore to find Felix in Changbin's bed in the morning, cuddling with the rapper. Felix was living for this. He got the chance to cuddle with his favourite person whenever he wanted!
Technically, Felix always wanted to. But for the sake of Changbin, he held back a bit, only asking to sleep in his bed every other night. Even so, the older one always welcomed him into his bed with open arms.
Then, they moved dorms.
The members split- one half living in one dorm and the other in another. Since 3racha was the producing team, they decided it'd be best to take a dorm together, only leaving a place for one other member. Felix would've volunteered in a heartbeat, not wanting to separate from Changbin, but he was embarrassed. His adoration for Changbin wasn't hidden well. All the members knew about Felix's infatuation with the man. And before he could find the courage to speak up, Hyunjin had already called dibs. Changbin and Felix looked at each other, maybe thinking the same thing. The blonde doubted it.
Before they separated ways that day, Felix sought out as much skinship with Changbin as possible. Clinging onto his arms and giving him backhugs that were tighter than usual.
The first night in the new dorm was depressing. Felix felt down ever since they separated from the other four. Sure, he still had Seungmin, Minho, and Jeongin, but it's not the same with just half of them. His room felt so empty and lifeless without his favourite Hyungs there.
The blonde tried to distract himself by unpacking his things. He stopped rummaging through the boxes when he suddenly came across a long, pink pillow.
It was the pillow he received as a gag gift during Kingdom.
Felix grabbed the pillow and held it in his hands, looking at Changbin printed onto the soft texture.
Seeing the face made him miss Changbin even more. Felix hugged the pillow tightly, forgetting the cartons filled with stuff to unpack, and walked towards his new bed.
Felix laid down in bed, the pillow between his legs, cuddling the bolster.
He tried to sleep but to no success. He was wide awake, missing the warmth and presence of Changbin. The tired boy took his phone, scrolling through TikTok for a bit before getting tired of the app. Felix debated if he should text his Hyung for a moment but didn't want to seem too desperate, so he dismissed the thought. Instead, he used his Dwaekki pillow, imagining Changbin in its place.
This became a habit really quick. The pillow became a mandatory part of Felix's night.
He needed it to be able to sleep at night. He treated the pillow like his own personal Changbin.
Whenever one of the members entered the blonde's room, the pink sausage face was the first thing to greet them.
"When you enter his room, it's right there," Seungmin complained on Two Kids Room.
And of course, Changbin knew about his soft replacement. He's been teasing the younger one about it ever since but never knew how much the pillow actually meant to Felix.
On their TwoKids Room, Changbin finally asked him about it.
"So, about that doll," he started, "is it next to you when you sleep?"
"Yeah," Felix said casually, attempting to pick up a strawberry from the bowl on the table in front of them.
"Why do you do that?" the rapper asked, smirking as their eyes met.
"Why, Why? What's wrong with it?" the younger laughed, trying to find any discomfort in the other's eyes.
"Nothing is wrong with it." he assured Felix, "I'm just curious why you'd choose to have that!" he seemed genuine with his question.
Felix started to go on a rant on how it helped with his posture, and how it's nicer to sleep with and all that.
Changbin just listened attentively, watching the younger talk, before interrupting him. "So you're thinking of the time we slept side by side because you were used to that, and that's why you have a doll of me next to you?"
Changbin looked at the latter, confident with his guess. He knew he could see right through Felix.
The taller paused for a second, a bit taken aback by the accuracy of Changbin's words.
"How did you know?" he said quietly, a nervous smile visible on his face. Felix continued his rant about how practical it is to move on from the topic. He was not here to embarrass himself in front of a camera today.
They talked about a lot during this Two Kids Room. Changbin never seemed weirded out or made fun of him for the pillow. He had been nervous when the other suddenly brought it up but Changbin had been so understanding with him- like always. He can read Felix like an open book.
Sometimes, Felix is scared that he might know too much.
On their way home, Changbin brought it up again.
"So you really like that pillow, huh?" he looked at the blonde with a smirk.
They were sitting next to each other in the company car, everyone either sleeping, on their phone or listening to music.
Felix looked up from his phone, not expecting this topic again.
"I guess," he mumbled sheepishly, looking back down.
Changbin giggled but said nothing more.
When they finally arrived at the 3racha + Hyunjin dorm, Changbin said, "I wanna see what the others are up to at their dorm. I'll walk home by myself later."
Bang Chan just looked at him and nodded before stepping out of the vehicle with his other two roommates.
Felix whipped his head around, a puzzled look on his face.
This was NOT discussed beforehand.
Seungmin left some remarks, complaining, but Changbin quickly shut him up with a threatening hand in the air, not hesitating to hit him (playfully of course).
Felix was nervous, he didn't know what to expect from the rapper's surprise visit.
After they arrived inside, Felix said bye to the others and went straight to his room, Changbin following wordlessly. As the blonde opened the door, he stepped to the side, inviting Changbin inside.
"So this is my replacement hm?" the brunet walked up to the bed, eyes fixed on the pillow. He let out a giggle, inspecting his pillow-self.
Felix was embarrassed, eyes focused on the pillow. He's too ashamed to hold eye contact.
"It feels so worn out already in some places. You really do use it a lot." Changbin smiled, slightly shaking the pillow in his hands.
Then suddenly, something soft hit Felix's face. Startled, he looked up at his friend, the pillow no longer in his hands and now in front of himself. The face was looking up at him. Felix's ears turned red in embarrassment, he giggled and picked up the stuffed toy from the floor and hugged it to his chest.
"Ya, are you trying to make me jealous with a doll of myself?" Changbin giggled teasingly.
"No," Felix threw the pillow back at the bulky man, who caught it in the air.
"Look I'm here now. You don't need this today." He threw the plushie to the end of the bed.
"What do you mean?" the younger laughed
"Your lord and savior is here to cuddle you tonight" Changbin proudly announced "Or do you prefer the pillow."
He smirked again
"No! I definitely prefer you" Felix practically jumped onto the bed, smile big on his face. His hands went straight to the muscular man's bicep, squeezing it. He looked ecstatic.
Changbin pulled him down with himself so they're lying next to each other, just like the old days. "We should sleep, today was a looong day" he dragged out the 'long', exaggerating it.
"Yongbok-ah," the brunet's eyes were already closed, "hug me like you hug that pillow"
The younger's cheeks turned red "No" he smiled, burying his face in Changbins chest.
"Pleaseee" the smaller said in his cutest voice.
Felix scoffed but complied. Still very embarrassed, he threw one leg over Changbin's side and hugged his broad body so that the blonde was lying half on top of him. He sighed, enjoying this way too much. "Are you happy now?"
"Very much."
With that the talking quieted down, both of them getting sleepy already.
"What do you like more, me or the fake Changbin?" the older said after a while.
"You, of course," Felix mumbled against Changbin, already half asleep. "missed you so much" he whined, muffled by the other's clothed torso.
"We saw each other all day today" Changbin laughed, hugging the petite boy tigher.
"But I missed this, a lot." Felix slurred.
The rapper sighed, "I missed this too, more than you know"
"You did?" the blonde's voice sounded clearer now. "I didn't know"
"Now you do" Changbin lightly kissed the crown of his head before closing his eyes and drifting off to sleep.
After that occurrence, it once again, became a habit.
Changbin stands in front of their dorm, unannounced most of the time, and asks to sleep over. Sometimes the other members open the door for him and just roll their eyes, seeing Changbin almost every night at their dorm now.
After a while Felix did the same thing, showing up at Changbin's dorm, unannounced, and sleeping over.
And if they ever decide to do something different than sleeping, it's no one else but their business.