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mysta stared right at the door of the silent bathroom as the sound of it opening filled his ears. his head was dazed and vision was not so clear, he couldn't make out who it was though they were so close from where he sat. he allowed his arm to carelessly fall down back to its own side from where it was previously, cleaning his cuts on his forearm.
he didn't care who the hell stood there, looking at him in some kind of disbelief when his face and some other parts of him were masked in cuts and blood. mysta averted his gaze away, resuming to poorly patch himself up.
"m-mysta..." the person said seconds later, voice sounding hurt. "hey, did you get involved with a fight? ...again? for third time this week?"
shu fucking yamino...
he watched with his blurred vision as shu walked nearer and eventually crouched down to look at him straight in the eyes. his eyes were indeed a gorgeous shade of purple, he would always say, which included now as his sight became cleared. mysta would admit it aloud with no shame because it was nothing but the shameful truth, but now wasn't the time to think of such features about a friend. mysta wanted to avoid their direct eye contact as he now knew it was shu who entered. he couldn't face him in a beatened up condition, yet he couldn't bring himself to do so.
"no. i did this to myself this time." he told shu ever so blandly. "wasn't in the mood for dealing with those dudes again."
of course, not to mysta's surprise, shu did not buy his lame coverup. he sighed, head dropping to break their contact. "jeez, mysta. what will i ever do to you?" he said jokingly. "alright, sit still. i'll help clean your wounds."
mysta merely stared as shu properly tended his cuts with such care. it always made him feel guilty that shu saw him like this and it hurt him like hell. he could never take care of his body, even though he's tried in the past, he was never able to bring himself to do it the next day and then ever. it was usually the same with his health, but with that, shu would always be there to give more reminders so he couldn't forget, as it was somewhat more necessary than the other important things. it made his wonder if he was ever a burden to shu. was shu ever tired of putting up with him? only god knows what the hell goes on in shu's brain.
immediately, mysta twitched as the abrupt stinging pain from the rubbing alcohol gently placed and circling around the cut, resulting mysta to be snapped back into a consciousness of reality. he continued to look down at shu, head filled with nothing but images engraved of him. shu, being the way he is, noticed mysta glancing at him.
he laughed softly. "sorry mysta, am i hurting you by any chance?" mysta hesitantly shook his head at his question. "that's good. now, don't uh... don't be afraid to tell me if i ever do, okay?" he assured him. shu offered mysta a gentle and wholehearted smile.
mysta heaved out a shaky breath as shu resumed.
slowly, mysta let his head fall back and only to be met with the expected plain white ceiling. he wanted to know why shu always bothered to help, although he knew damn well that shu would support and provide assistance whenever he possibly could to practically everyone. mysta awfully despised that fact, nonetheless, he admired the effort shu tended to put in. in the end, he was just like every other friend, wasn't he?
"y'know shu... your smile and gestures are going to break me one day." mysta blurted out. he didn't care for what came out his mouth and didn't say anything afterwards.
shu lifted his head up as he looked at mysta, whose eyes were shut. he tipped his head off to the side. "what do you mean that my smile and gestures are going to break you? it's not bound to somehow ruin you in any way, right? and how would it break you either way?"
mysta hummed. "i dunno. we just gotta find that out for ourselves. and besides, you don't know what will happen, am i wrong, shu?"
"...n-no. no, you're right. i don't know." shu said.
mysta remained silent for a while, creating nothing but an even more awkward atmosphere between them. shu was seemingly stunned in place from the outcome of the short conversation.
seconds later, mysta snickered. "come on man, i'm just messing around with you."
"what? but you actually sounded seri—"
"ignoring whatever the hell i said, let's just get this over with, okay? i'm tired as fuck right now." mysta said, followed alongside with a yawn.
shu was nearly about to speak up once more, but shut himself up before he could've let out a single sound. afterall, he was exhausted too. it was late at night, though probably not midnight yet. he listened to mysta and continued to fix him up.
for what seemed like an eternity later, shu got up from kneeling down on the floor and stretched his arms. mysta was close to falling asleep multiple times during those hours of forever, but was disrupted by an endless amount of tingling shocks throughout his arm. he did not want to stand up, despite the toilet (but mainly his posture) being extremely uncomfortable to rest in.
"wake yourself up, mysta. i'm almost done here." shu spoke. mysta let his head fall to his left shoulder to stare in shu's direction, to only see he was in the middle of putting the items into the medkit and soon it was shoved under the sink. shu lended out a hand for shu to take, to which he took with slight hesitance.
he pulled mysta off the seat, only causing mysta to let out a yelp and a stumble. he chuckled slightly at mysta, but paid no attention to saying anything that could possibly make fun of him, even though laughing could obviously be a sign he's doing just that.
he dragged mysta out the bathroom and turned off the lights. by then, their dorm was darkened with only the outside brightness being the only supported light source, except it was greatly brought down by gray storm clouds.
"it's raining." said mysta as the sounds of rain hitting the window filled both their hearing, accompanied by thunder. mysta groaned into his cupped hands and leaned forward mid-process. "fucking hell dude, i can't sleep peacefully through this dumb storm."
"oh uhm... do you need noise canceling headphones to block out the thunder or something? i have a pair in my bag." shu offered.
mysta thought about it for a short while, before ultimately declining shu's proposal. "to be honest, maybe some melatonin could do the trick. at least i hope it works."
"or..." shu thought for a moment, before he came up with another idea. "do you want me to sleep with you? you know, just for comfort. i'm fine as long as you're comfortable with it."
mysta whipped his head to stare shu straight in the eyes, expression showing off pure shock. the initial thought of shu sleeping with him was flustering, mainly in his own perspective about the idea. he wasn't too sure what to say since after all, it was shu who offered the proposal. with that in mind, mysta wasn't informed whether he's offered the same thing to others. it made him curious.
but now was not the time to think of such things. he needed to come up with a final decision, and there was no going back. a single sharp breath was taken as mysta took his precious time.
"...yeah sure. i'm fine with it. doesn't really make me too uncomfortable. i mean come on—it's you, shu. i would never pass up an opportunity like this." fuck. he's getting too overconfident. mysta cleared his throat, "n-not that i've wanted it past or anything like that! i'm just uh... uhm... l-look, shu, it's rare for you to hit up an offer anything close of getting to literally sleep with you. maybe some girls and guys would be jealous of that and uh... yeah! that's totally the case."
shu blinked. once, twice, thrice. he was rather dumbfounded at mysta's response. and that was where mysta knew he went a tad bit too overbord with information after his first realization. out from nowhere, shu bursted out of laughter. it scared mysta a whole lot from its unexpectedness.
he merely frowned, yet his heart fluttered watching as shu continued to laugh at him. great, now he felt his face being burned up by embarrassment.
"shut up man. i'm just speaking the truth!" in all seriousness, mysta did not in fact did not know whether his statement about girls and guys being jealous was true.
"i'm sorry! it's just—it's just your outburst that –oh god my side fricking hurts ow ow ow –"
mysta did nothing to help. he was too baffled that shu was just laughing his brain off, but then again, he knew it would've came sooner or later. god, as he thought about it, the more ridiculous he knew he sounded saying it.
it went on for a while. a long one—but alas, shu settled down, but also letting out several cramping coughs and complaints that his stomach was cramping badly. mysta was already sat on the bed, patiently waiting for shu to finish up. he immediately apologized profusely for laughing unintentionally, which thankfully, his apology was accepted.
shu made himself comfortable on mysta's bed and tackled mysta down with him as he laid down.
"goodnight mysta." shu whispered near mysta's ear. he pulled and hugged mysta closer to him as he buried his face into the crook of mysta's neck.
"...night." mysta replied, screwing his eyes shut tightly to fall asleep.
many minutes soon pass by. mysta's eyes stared directly at shu, who slept so peacefully, his arm remained wrapped around him. for whatever reason, he could not experience the same tiredness from earlier that night in the bathroom though he attempted to by twisting and turning but no success. it was just gone within milliseconds of falling softly onto his bed, and sure—it definitely was an strange yet not uncommon occurrence.
he regretted the choice of not taking the melatonin. but it hit mysta like a boulder that he could simply admire shu all he wanted—not in a creepy, obsessed way that's for sure. but similar to those movies where the protagonist would be admiring their love interest from a distance. perhaps the love interest would even look back at them, spitting out a mere "what?"
he extended his hand out to place on the other's cheek, sliding several strands of hair away from him. a moment of pure silence, yet softened raindrops continuously slammed against the glass. he wondered how shu felt about him. the sight of shu in a state of tranquility. not much concerns to worry about. little mr. perfect guy.
the superficial love of a best friend . mysta found it honestly pathetic. crushing on his university dorm-mate that he'd barely spent much time with since he's busy almost everyday. oh how he wished to spend more time with him, getting to know even more though he already figured he couldn't.
his heart ached thinking of his feelings towards shu and it made him want to cry for some reason. mysta didn't want to believe he fell for someone he only got along with because of the frequent situations that involved getting hurt physically. if it weren't for shu sleeping next to him, he'd be experiencing the literal five stages of grief as he pined for him in silence.
mysta longed to hear shu's voice even if it had not been more than a couple hours. he hated how soothing and relaxing it was to hear him speak.
That voice of yours drenches my whole heart.
he wanted to spend quality time with just them both. nothing that includes tending cuts and bruises like every other day. maybe a short yet sweet date he's watched in those corny romance movies he imagined about previously, but then again, he couldn't be too sure whether shu would like to go with him, especially having to deal with his dorky and childish personality. anything and everything about him was wack.
mysta retracted his hand away from shu's face. he stared at him for a another minute as he gave thought to something in mind before making the decision to turn his back on him. he mustn't focus on shu, nor his emotions. what kind of denial of love state was he supposed to be going through? whatever it was, the only thing that could be said was that it's stupid.
why do you make me feel this way? mysta pondered himself, as if shu could hear his thoughts. his brain was filled to the brim with nothing but "why's" that floated around. why this , why that ?
all the foolish and ignorant questions that popped into mind was all because of him —shu yamino. was the love life really worth much? what kind of hopeless romantic life did mysta live through, and just how much longer would he be able to handle it?
he should hate him instead of falling for him.
one shaky breath taken and he tossed his body the other way, groaning as his forehead hitting against the latter's chest. desires to hold shu close, but then again, he was scared of a potential bad outcome. all he could do without forcing himself to move was lay there listening to his heart thumping. thump... thump... thump...
as badly as mysta wanted to not start getting emotional, many tears were no longer wanted to be held back. in the end, he couldn't help but let it all out. acting over-dramatic is what mysta prefered to call it, clearly because he's letting his emotions take control when he shouldn't in the first place.
dorm entrapped with noises of muffled thunder and rain, nearly inaudible cries, and a single heartbeat. from then on, mysta cried his eyes out almost nonstop. the attempted process of refraining coughs leaving him failed miserably and god—he was convinced shu would wake up any time soon.
that was the exact thought in mind that triggered slight movement and groans from shu, automatically leaving mysta in aghast.
"mysta..?" shu called out, voice hoarse. "are you doing alright?"
no response.
"mysta, i can tell you're not passed out..." he continued as he sat up groggily, eyes remaining lidded while staring down at mysta who obviously could not hide himself after being caught right on the spot.
"hey, have you... been crying? i kind of felt you trembling and heard you coughing and sniffling. i-is everything okay? do you need to talk?"
please just stop being so fucking worried.
it's making my head feel confused.
you are making feelings even worse, shu.
"yeah... yeah i'm fine, shu. just thought about something from before that got me feeling like shit," he exhaled shakily, "don't worry about me."
shu doesn't speak up and mysta did not dare to get a glimpse of him. clearly, shu was going to continue worrying, but he wanted nothing to do with him then.
he was.. sick of being another one. another one of those who shu saw as some friend. in the end, it was too much for him. he can't deal with his overwhelming emotions anymore. yet, all he can do is stay with shu.
just because he was the only one there for him. the only one he believed who cared for his fucked-up little pathetic self.