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Dear Mia,
I still love you. I wish I could tell you that. I wish I could tell you the real reason why we had to break up.
I was trying to protect you, you see. I was afraid that Gant would use you against me, like he is using Ema to control me. I still am afraid. Ema… I’m not sure I can bring myself to tell you about Ema, even in this letter I will never send.
I just want you to know that, like I told you before, it wasn’t your fault - at all. If, somehow, Gant’s threat goes away, I would love to see you again. I love you, and I loved being with you. You were so smart and witty and fun, you laughed with me and challenged me. I want that again.
Do you still love me? Would you even want to be with me again if I asked?
Love,
Yours truly,
Lana
Dear Mia,
I heard through the grapevine that you have a boyfriend. I’ve only heard a little bit about Mr. Armando, but what I have heard - that he’s a defense attorney who loves coffee and rights hard for his clients - is quite good
Am I happy? Maybe. Am I sad? I don’t know. I can’t have expected you to keep waiting for me, and if he makes you feel the same way I did, then I suppose I should be glad for that. But there’s still a part of me that wishes you were mine.
Do you still love me, even now? Would you be willing to take me back, to share your heart with two people instead of one? I would, but I don’t know about you. We never talked about that, what would happen if one of us fell for a new person while still loving the old one.
Love,
Yours truly,
Lana
Dear Mia,
I heard through the grapevine that Mr. Armando had been poisoned by a witness.
I am so, so sorry. I don’t know what else to say. I don’t know how he’s doing, if he’s already recovered or dead - I asked, but nobody knew anything, or was willing to tell me. If we were still talking, I would let you cry on my shoulder and talk to me about it, and I would help you in whatever way is asked.
I wish I could do that, but I can’t. Perhaps one day I will be able to.
Yours truly,Lana
Love,
Sincerely,
Dear Mia,
When I broke up with you, you asked me if the SL-9 incident had anything to do with it. I told you yes, but refused to say anything more. Well, here I am, telling you the whole truth.
Joe Darke did in fact kill his first five victims - I am not disputing that. But the murder of Bruce Goodman, the one that he was convicted of - he did not do that. Ema did. By accident, of course, but it was still her doing. I couldn’t believe it either, but the evidence was clear when I walked in.
Gant was already there, and he asked me to help him rearrange the scene in order to frame Darke. I know what you’re thinking, but please consider: even though accidental murders technically shouldn’t get convicted and sentenced, they still do. Ones that are lighter than purposeful ones - but they are still sentences.
I thought that would be the end of it, but Gant soon began using Ema to get me to do many other things, of increasingly worse quality. I was afraid that he would soon use you in order to control me as well., and hence why I broke up with you. I wanted to keep you safe.
I hope you can understand,
Lana
Dear Mia,
I heard about your death today, from the one of the other prosecutors. He hadn’t known about us, and so talked about it as he would have if it were any other death. I managed to keep myself together long enough to run into a bathroom still, where I cried so so long I lost track of the time. (I never knew about Redd White), I thought, (Why didn’t you tell me? I could have helped you! I could have you safe!) And then a small voice of reason pointed out: (For the same reason you never told Mia about Gant.)
It’s a bit ironic, I suppose. I broke up with you because I was afraid harm would come to you, and yet it still did. Maybe if we were still talking, I could have helped you. Somehow. But perhaps Gant would have gotten to you instead, and you would still end up dead. But that doesn’t matter anymore now - you are gone forever, and there is no way for me to be with you again
I suppose that means you will never read my letters. I know that your family can call upon the spirits of the dead, but… I’m not sure I’d want to do that to you. And even if I did… Well, there’s a reason I never sent any of the other letters I wrote.
Even though it wouldn’t have been safe for me to do so, I wish I could have met you one last time. I wish I could have told you that I still loved you and asked if you still loved me. I don’t know what answer I would have preferred.
But that never happened, and I still cherish the time that we were able to spend together. Every kiss, every date, every time we talked through the night. I had a wonderful time, and I hope you did too.
Goodbye - I will always love you.
Lana