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"Tubbo, I swear to god you are not ruining Fit's date"
Phil took his job as romance bodyguard very seriously. Expertly after Fit and Pacs first date with the tubbo intrusion.
when the rustling from an seemingly inconspicuous bush got very suspicious. It was only right to pull out his syth. And approach it.
The Bush shook a bit, with green leaves falling from all sides.
But the person who came out was not tubbo, loudly complaining about foiled plans and faking more evidence to try and break up the cupple.
But instead a glasses waring, hair dyed, smug looking Mike. Iconic creeper print shorts and lab coat covered in leaves. Looking like he got draged out of a bush backwards. (He had)
"Philipe? What are you doing here?"
"I could ask you the same thing- why are you in a bush?"
"Well pac asked me to... wingman for him you know? Love him to death, but he's not exactly the best at flirting, and he asked the I help."
"Help... by hiding in a Bush?"
"Well its not like that... OK look your going to think this is weird but just trust me."
The bird man crossed his arms impatiently.
"Go on"
"Well..." Mike then pushed back hid own lime hair reveling an earpiece. " pac has one in as well, I'm just kind of feeding him lines."
"Ok so, Your spying on your best friends date."
Mike nodded
"and giving him pick up lines through a com."
Very enexpectedly, phill suddenly started laughing,
"It as pacs ideaaaaa, I promise I'm very good at romance, tubbo didn't pay me to break them up, I haven't even seen tubbo all day!"
Phill was now almost on the floor laughing rolling around.
"What? what is it? Its a very clever idea, philza, your not laughing at Pac are you!? don't call Pac dumb or ill take your head off right now!"
"No, no, sorry its just" Phill how took of his iconic green and white stripy hat, and pushed back the hair around his own ear to reveal another communicator.
"And this was fits idea- If this isn't proof what they where made for eachother I dont know what is..."
Mike was now in a fit of giggles as well.
Dear lord these idiots both got too nervous and got someone else to do the dating for them.
Once they had calmed down.
"No offence to you but I thought Pac would have chosen Cellbit to wingman for him"
"What!? Are you saying I'm doing a horrible job? Wooooooow"
"No it's not that its just, well he's married so I presume he has some game" Phil replied
"Pac and Cellbit are... its like... there not talking at the moment..." Mike said this while avoiding eye contact.
"That's a shame, what happened"
" I don't know, I stopped taking as soon as Pac did not questioned asked"
All it took was an 'mmmhmm' from the bird man to know that it was time to change the subject.
"But anyways, I'm married too asshole!"
"Wait really?"
"Oooo tell me more- what their name?"
"I didn't take you as a gossiper philipe"
"What can I say I live for the fofoca"
"My wife Mine, she's gorgeous most beautiful pink hair you have ever seen"
"Your wife's name is... Mine?"
"Or Barb, it's more of a nickname"
"You must miss her, being traped on this island. I get that."
"I saw her pretty recently actually- well Nevermind it's complicated, she like borrows my body for a bit, I dont expect you to understand" mile paused "She- she's a godess"
"Aaaaahh, Godess of what" Phil asked
Weird choice of question, most people would find the god possessing you to be the most confusing part of that sentence.
"Godess of creation, my mine"
"OH BARBMINE, I KNOW THEM"
"What?"
"Yeah, pink hair, white dress! I knew she had a human lover no clue we would ever get to meet!"
"What how do you know?"
"My wife introduced us, Kristen godess of death"
"Oh wait! I know her, Purple hat black hair big black crow wings"
Phil then unfolded his own ebony wings, smiling
"She is very generous"
"Was she government assigned as well"
"No no she's the not platonic kind"
"you get that godly pussy, man, good for you!"
"I could say the same for you! I can't belive we have never met before"
"Well I have to go protect this date from certain Tubbo shaped intrusions"
"I have to Google more pick up lines, see you in the godly plane some time"
"See you mate!"
And they walked away, Mike reversing back into the bush.
What are the chances of that two goddesses spouses trapped on an island together?