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Remus Lupin, the man that you are.
"Alright, lads, place your bets!" James said enthusiastically on their way to breakfast.
"My money's on Moony this year."
"What, why me?"
"Well, I mean, for starters, there's your whole fan club…—" Sirius started.
"It's a study group ."
"—...which has been getting more and more people this year." Peter went on.
"Because we have NEWTs this year and people wanted to get some extra help with studying."
"There's also the fact that this is your last year at Hogwarts."
"So is yours. These arguments make absolutely no sense. I'm going to get more valentines because I have a study group and it's my last school year?"
"Exactly, Moons. People will realise that this is their last chance at sending you one, which will motivate them to do so."
"But then so should you lot. It's our last year, not just mine."
"Yeah, but you're just better than us, Moony."
Remus decided to pay them no mind, as they had finally arrived to the great hall and he was now closer to getting breakfast.
Peter and Sirius kept bickering over who would get more valentines out of the two of them, and James was looking around the great hall, probably looking for someone.
When the first owls started flying across the hallway, Remus was already halfway through his breakfast.
They all watched as an owl approached their table, holding their breaths and waiting to see who the letter was addressed to.
James.
He sent them all a shit eating grin, which didn’t last long as more owls started dropping letters and envelopes at their table.
The whole thing kept going for about twenty minutes, and when they were sure no more correspondence was getting thrown at their heads, they started counting how many letters they got.
"Thirty two!" Said Peter first.
"Dammit, I got thirty one," was Sirius' reponse.
"I got thirty one as well, Pads."
They all turned to look at Remus, who was still counting his valentines. James let out a whistle.
"Well?" Peter urged him once he finished.
Remus mumbled a response that none of them quite heard.
"What was that, Moony, dear?"
He sighed. "I got sixty eight."
"Ha! Told you!"
"I was right, Moony!"
"I knew it!"
They all started screaming and Remus had no other option but to simply tune them out.
This was a tradition of theirs. Ever since second year, when the Marauders were already pretty popular in school and realised that they were getting quite a few valentines, James, Peter and Sirius made it a competition amongst themselves to see who would get more each year, and somehow managed to rope Remus into it.
During their first year, Remus only got three valentines, which were sent by his roommates. In second year, however, he got five. And in fourth year, the whole thing blew up and he suddenly found himself with twenty valentines.
He always read them all; he would feel bad if he didn't, seeing as those people had gone through the effort of writing him a letter and telling him nice things about him. Albeit, some of those letters were bad, like really bad, but he still read them and appreciated them.
And in turn, he always wrote a valentine to his friends. It started off as three, and as the years passed, he found himself writing seven, which was not a huge amount of friends to have, but he was confident in saying that they were all pretty close friends.
They finished their breakfast and headed back to their room; James to take his quidditch equipment, Peter to take a shower, Sirius to take a nap, and Remus to read his valentines. This was their usual Saturday morning routine, although Remus would usually be reading a book instead of letters.
As Remus got comfortable, he placed the stack of letters beside him and started opening them, putting them in a separate pile after he read them. He chuckled at Regulus'.
I hate this day. Why is everything so pink? Pink is a nice colour, I don’t know why they have to butcher it by putting it everywhere. Anyway. If Pandora asks, I sent you a very touching and emotional letter.
Have a nice day.
R.
He didn't fail to notice the two chocolate bars that came along with his letter. He opened one and ate it while reading the remaining letters.
His roommates had also given him chocolate, along little notes that made him feel warm and loved.
It's true that he appreciated every valentine that he got, especially since he used to believe that he would remain friendless and unloved his whole life, but truly, his favourite ones were always his closest friends'. There was just something about the fact that they always wrote him a little note reminding him that he's loved despite living together most of the time and telling him so in person.
Not that he would ever tell them, but Remus suspected that they already knew.
As he was finishing his first chocolate bar (luckily no one had tried to dose him with amortentia this year), he opened one of the last letters. He let out a whistle when he saw the length of it.
Remus Lupin, the man that you are.
Beautiful, beloved.
I’m not really good at writing love letters, but I wanted you to know how absolutely wonderful and how special to me you are. I’m absolutely amazed at your smile, your laugh, and your pure heart. Your beauty is one of a kind, and your intelligence is out of this world.
You are the sweetest person I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. I love everything about you, and I love how you make me feel. I love you, full stop.
You are my motivation to get out of bed each morning; the knowledge that I’ll get to see you during the day is more than enough to make my mornings not seem so dull. And whenever I see your smile, whether it’s directed at me or someone else, my insides turn to mush. I think the main reason why it took me so long to figure out my feelings for you is that I’ve always felt like this. I always get excited to see you, I get so happy whenever I think about you, and I get this warm, fuzzy feeling whenever I’m close to you.
I hope I didn’t make you feel uncomfortable with this letter. You mean so much to me, and it would break my heart if I made you feel bad. My most sincere apologies if that was the case.
Much love,
One of your many admirers.
Remus blinked once, twice.
He read the letter a second time, trying to make sense of it. It was a love letter, that much was clear. But who sent it, that he didn’t know.
As he inspected it a third time, he noticed that the handwriting was familiar. He ruffled through the opened envelopes until he found the one he was looking for. There. The handwriting was the tiniest bit different, but it clearly belonged to the same person.
He felt a wave of dizziness as he tried to understand what was going on. Surely he didn't mean any of it? But then again, the letter felt very honest. Real.
There’s one way to know for sure.
Remus threw open the curtains, perhaps with a bit too much force, and hastily put on his shoes.
“Woah, Moony, everything alright?” he heard Peter’s voice. He turned around and found him and Sirius sprawled on the latter’s bed, one vertically, the other horizontally, legs dangling off the side of the bed.
“Yeah. Yeah, I just need to check something.”
“That from an admirer?” Sirius asked, motioning with his head to the letter he was holding.
“They’re not admirers .”
Peter shrugged and Sirius made an “eeh” sound.
Remus huffed and walked towards the door.
“Well, who is it from?”
“Can’t tell you.”
“Oh, come on! We want to know if we have any new competition for winning our Moony’s heart!” Peter said in amusement.
Remus just let out an exasperated sigh and left the dorm, Peter and Sirius’ laughter following him through the closed door.
They always pulled shit like that, pretending to swoon over Remus, and while he found it funny most of the time and played into it as well, right now he was confused and needed some time to think.
“Oi, Lupin!”
He turned around and saw Evan and Dorcas walking behind him, so he stopped to wait for them.
Evan threw an arm around his shoulders as soon as he was next to him, and Dorcas just rolled her eyes at his antics.
“So, Remus, dear, did you read my letter?” He said as he comically batted his eyelashes.
“Can’t you see me swooning over you? Your poetry has finally rendered me speechless, I am now falling at your feet, my dear Evan.”
“Oh! My heart can’t take such happiness! What a wonderful day, I will mark it in my calendar as the day Remus Lupin fell for my charms!”
“And I, in turn, will mark it as the day my heart saw the light and let you in.”
Dorcas interrupted their pretend-flirting with a snort, “Oh, quit flirting, you two. We all know if you were to swoon over someone it wouldn’t be Evan , Lupin.”
Remus glared at her, but he doubted it was very convincing or threatening due to his rapidly reddening cheeks.
Evan cackled a laugh and leaned further into him, “Is that so? Do I have to up my game? Leave you alone? Are you already taken and I had no idea? Who, oh who has captured my love’s heart?”
Remus sighed, defeated, and just rolled his eyes. “I am not taken, Rosier, don’t worry. What you should worry about is your actual love’s heart, Evan, and do something before someone else captures it.”
It was Dorcas’ turn to cackle. Laughing at Evan’s expense, Remus soon learned, always brought her so much joy.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Evan mumbled, his flirty attitude suddenly dropped, and looked away.
They entered the Slytherin common room, and as they were approaching the boys’ dorm, Remus slowed his pace, bringing them both to a stop.
“Actually, if you guys don’t mind, I was hoping to talk to Regulus alone. There’s a… matter I need to discuss with him in private.”
Dorcas and Evan pretended to be offended at being left out, but stayed in the common room either way.
Remus knocked on the door before entering, and found Regulus sitting on his bed, reading.
“Remus. Hi,” he said without looking up.
“How’d you know it was me?”
Regulus looked at him and raised an eyebrow. “You’re the only one who knocks before entering. Although it would be nice of you to wait until I told you to come in,” he smiled lightly.
“Be thankful I even knock. That’s enough warning,” Remus plopped himself on Barty’s bed, fully aware of Regulus’ aversion to other people sitting on his bed. He looked at his friend intently, trying to read his face, but Regulus remained cool and collected, not giving anything away.
“What brings you here, Remus?”
“Am I unwelcome?”
“Quite the opposite.”
Remus smiled. “Have you received any valentines today, Regulus?”
“You mean besides yours? I did, yeah. Two. Why, how many did you get?”
“A lot, but that’s not the point.”
“What is the point, then?”
“How many did you write?”
“Why are you interrogating me?”
Remus sighed and put his hand over his face. “Listen. I just wanted to ask about your letter.”
“What about it?”
“Did you mean it or was it a joke. I don’t want to hurt your feelings, Reg, but I need to know if you were being serious.”
Regulus’ expression grew confused as Remus kept talking. “Why the hell would you hurt my feelings?”
“Regulus.”
“What? I’m serious, I don’t understand what you’re talking about.”
“Did you or did you not write me a love letter.”
Regulus looked at him as if he'd grown a second head out of nowhere. “What?”
Remus just looked at him with a tired expression, hoping that Regulus would just give up and admit it. He did not give up, however, his deep frown unrelenting.
“Remus, what even—”
Remus all but threw the letter at Regulus, who caught it with a startled expression.
He watched him as he read the letter, though he just skimmed over it, really, his eyes quickly scanning the paper.
“I did not write this.”
“But it’s got your handwriting.”
“It’s not mine. Remus, I didn’t write it.” Regulus was looking at him intently, as if trying to tell him something just with his eyes, but Remus couldn’t catch the meaning.
“Then who the fuck—?”
They were interrupted by the door being abruptly opened, and Barty barged in, Evan close behind him. Remus quickly shoved the letter in his pocket, feeling strangely protective of it.
“Remus! What a marvellous surprise!” Barty grinned as he flopped down beside him. He began his usual flirting, to which Evan also chimed in, flirting his share, but Remus couldn’t focus on them. Much as he tried to, he simply could not process what they were saying, his mind instead racing, trying to make sense of the situation.
When he finally caught up, he looked at Regulus with a startled expression, and found him already staring at him. He nodded slightly, as if to confirm Remus’ suspicions without him even wording them.
Remus sprung up from the bed, vaguely registering Barty’s complaints, and bolted out of the room.
He ran all the way to their dorm, wheezing by the time he reached the top of the stairs. He slammed the door open to find all three boys in the room, lounging on James’ bed and sharing sweets. Remus figured it would be too much trouble to get James and Peter to leave the room without them asking questions, and he was too antsy to wait until he and Sirius got a moment alone. So he directed the boys a tight smile, still panting heavily, and asked Sirius to follow him as he entered the bathroom, not even turning to see if Sirius was behind him or not.
He closed the toilet lid and sat down just as Sirius entered the bathroom.
“Alright, Moony?” He asked as he closed the door behind him.
Remus cast a silencing charm around them, and sent a –what he hoped was– comforting smile to Sirius, who was looking at him with a worried expression.
“Everything’s fine, Pads, don’t worry. I just wanted to talk to you about something,” he assured him, still panting slightly. He really was out of shape.
“Merlin, did you run up the stairs?”
“All the way from the dungeons, actually,” he chuckled, “give me a sec.” When he finally recovered his breath, he smiled again at Sirius, who was sitting on the edge of the bathtub, to Remus’ right.
“What were you doing in the dungeons? It’s Saturday, Moony.”
“Just went to see Regulus. Listen—”
“Oh! Speaking of Regulus!” Sirius interrupted him, practically jumping up and down. “You will never believe what Mary told me this morning!” He began rambling about the newest gossip, and his brother receiving a love letter from Mary, or something like that.
Remus really put an effort into listening to Sirius, who was excitedly telling him about his brother. It was adorable, really, the way his smile kept getting wider and wider, and his eyes were shining like they always did when Sirius was happy, but Remus couldn’t wait any longer.
“... James and Lily, Rem, can yo—”
“Sirius, did you write me a love letter?”
He stopped in his tracks, face draining of colour and looking at Remus with wide eyes. He had never seen Sirius’ smile fall off his face so fast, and he kind of felt guilty for whisking it away.
“Wha— I mean— how did— like, what… huh?”
Sirius began sputtering, all the colour that had left his face returning as a fierce blush that covered his whole face.
“Were you the one who sent me this letter?” He unfolded the paper and showed it to him, from a distance so that he wouldn’t be able to read it on the off-chance it hadn’t been him. He just wanted to check.
The colour once again left Sirius’ face, and he was turning slightly green.
“Sirius?”
“Please don’t hate me.”
“ What? ”
Sirius closed his eyes, defeated. “Yes, Remus, it was me. I’m sorry.”
“The fuck are you apologising for, Pads?”
Sirius kept his eyes tightly shut, and flinched when Remus touched the back of his hand.
“Sirius, what’s wrong?”
He shook his head, eyes still closed shut, not daring to look at Remus.
“I don’t hate you, Pads. Okay? Please open your eyes. Look at me. Hey.”
Sirius finally opened his eyes and looked straight into Remus’ eyes, just to immediately look away, first at the wall behind Remus and then at the floor.
“I don’t hate you, Sirius, okay? Don’t say that. I was just… confused. I thought it was Regulus’ because the handwriting is similar.”
He took a shaky breath and said, “our parents made us take calligraphy lessons as children. I thought I’d use that learned handwriting so that you wouldn’t associate it with me.”
Remus didn’t know how to respond to that, and Sirius was still not looking at him, so they just sat in awkward silence for a few moments until Remus couldn’t take it anymore.
“Hey, um. Did you actually mean what you wrote?”
That is what finally made him look up, seeming almost offended at Remus’ question. “Of course I meant it! I would never joke about that.”
“You flirt with me the whole time.” Remus deadpanned.
“Exactly!”
“Well, so does Peter! And Marlene, and Barty, and Evan. Hell, even Lily flirts with me, and she is dating James!”
“Yeah, but they’re not in love with you.”
“You don’t know that.”
“Marlene is gay. Pete is not. And I suspect Crouch and Rosier have got something going on.”
“So?”
“So that leaves out the possibility of their flirting being genuine.”
“As opposed to you?”
“Exactly,” he murmured, looking away again. After a brief moment of silence he added, “I wasn’t actually counting on you finding out it was me, so I really don’t know what to do now.”
Remus smiled shyly, but he didn’t see it. “Well, what do you want to do?”
“I mean. Obviously you’re very important to me and I don’t want to lose you, so we can just pretend this never happened and go on with our lives.”
Remus’ smile dropped. “Why?"
“What do you mean 'why'?”
“I mean…” Sirius was squinting his eyes at him, twisting his hands on his lap, “like, well, I feel the same, so…”
His expression changed in a fraction of a second, going from nervous and scared to hopeful. “So…?”
“So, maybe you’d like us to try… this, whatever it is. I, for one would—” His words were cut short by Sirius jumping from the bath’s edge and straddling him instantly, enveloping him in a bone-crushing hug. Remus was too stunned to speak, but returned the hug, placing his head on Sirius’ shoulder.
“I would like that, yeah,” he whispered into his hair, and Remus could tell he was smiling. He looked up and found Sirius already looking at him, the softest, warmest expression on his face.
“That’s good to know. Really good.”
Sirius gently held his face with both hands and stared into his eyes before whispering, “I never thought you’d feel the same.”
“I never thought you’d feel the same.”
“You are such an idiot, Moony.”
“Excuse you? How am I the idiot here? You forged a love letter and then pretended to know nothing about it!”
“I didn’t forge it, I just used a different handwriting. I just. I really wanted to tell you how I felt, even if it was in an indirect way. Couldn’t keep it in for longer,” he paused as he caressed Remus’ hair, and then smiled that lovely smile of his, eyes twinkling and all. “You’re the idiot for thinking I was just taking the piss. I’ve been shamelessly flirting with you since fifth year. Fifth year, Moony!”
He shrugged. “I dunno. I just assumed it was platonic flirting. Like everybody else does—” Sirius snorted at that, “—and you’re always so touchy and affectionate with everyone, not just with me, so I didn’t want to get my hopes up.”
“You’re the only one I cuddle with at night. We’ve slept in the same bed, for Merlin’s sake.”
“You said it was because it stopped your nightmares!”
“And you never stopped to think why that happens? Why you’re the one I go to for comfort?”
Remus buried his face in Sirius’ neck. “Okay, okay, we can stop talking about how daft I’ve been.”
Sirius chuckled and kissed his forehead, “You’re so lovely, Moons.”
Remus suddenly jerked back and looked at him with a startled expression. “I never actually said it back!”
“Said what back?”
Remus smiled. “I love you.”
“Oh. Well, I mean I technically haven’t said it yet. I just wrote it, I don’t think that counts as saying it you know, so—” he was rambling now, which made Remus feel a wave of affection for him.
He smiled at him and gently placed a kiss on his cheek, and that was what made Sirius shut up, sucking in a breath. “I love you, too.”
They looked into each other’s eyes and then started giggling uncontrollably, the amount of happiness they were feeling unable to be stopped. The giggling then transformed into full-blown laughter, which then subdued into smiles again. For all they mocked James and Lily, they were awfully, sickeningly sweet themselves.
“Wanna go on a date later today?” Said Sirius as he played with Remus’ hair. “Just to the library is fine, I know you’re not a big fan of crowds. I just wanna spend some time with you.”
“You always spend time with me.”
“I want to spend some time with you as your boyfriend.”
“Oh. Alright, then. Sure,” he beamed at him.
Sirius returned the smile, and then finally got up from Remus’ lap, offering him his hand to stand up, even though he didn’t need it. Remus accepted it, and as he got up, he immediately stumbled and gripped on Sirius’ arm.
“Crap. My leg’s gone numb. How long have we been in here, anyway,” he grumbled as he limped his way towards the door, Sirius supporting him by his lower back.
“Sorry Moons, I probably shouldn’t have sat on you that long,” Sirius apologised, but he was grinning at him, not feeling sorry at all.
As they got out of the bathroom, they saw that Peter was the only one in the room, laying on his bed and listening to music. “Alright, lads? James wanted me to tell you that he’s left for his date with…” he trailed off as he stared at them. Specifically Remus’ limp.
“What,” Remus said, feeling almost self-conscious of the way Peter was scrutinising him.
“Jeez, guys, you could’ve asked to have the room, you know, Merlin.”
“What are you even talking about.”
Peter raised his eyebrows at him, in a look that clearly said how dumb do you think I am , but decided to just leave it alone. “Anyway. Has any of you seen the cloak? James lost it somewhere and we couldn’t find it, and we’re gonna need it for tomorrow’s prank.”
They set out to look for it, making an even messier mess of the room by the time they found it, and then Peter enveloped them both in a bear hug. He didn’t need to say anything, not until they said it first, but this way, they knew they had his unwavering support and how happy he was for them.
Needless to say, when they were all together in the dorm that night, James also crushed them to their almost death, all in good faith.