Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

You loved going to summer camp when you were younger. You loved the feeling of fresh air blowing through your hair, the smell of campfire and burning marshmallow, the crisp biting of cold in the evenings. You loved the sound of old, slightly-out-of-tune guitars playing camp songs and the feeling of the dust and dirt of the campsite getting behind your ears. Flower crowns, fishing, and archery were a few of the activities you practiced in your many years of camp. Summer camp was the source of so many of your happy childhood memories.

So, it just made sense for you to become a camp counselor now that you were old enough. You knew you would love it, and you really needed the money. You were about to go off to college, and your parents could only do so much in terms of finances.

Camp Underground, the camp that hired you, was the first of its kind. It was a co-species camp that invited both monster and human children alike to come and spend the summer together. It really promoted the intermingling of monsters and humans to try and bridge the gap between the two. Your parents couldn’t be prouder that you wanted to work for an organization that advocated for the equality of monsterkind.

To be honest, the topic of monster rights really put a strain on a lot of your old relationships. Many of your friendships fell apart because of prejudices they had. You were even forced to break up with your ex because they relentlessly tormented a poor group of loox and went as far as squishing a moldsmal “to prove a point” they said. You were so appalled and upset that you broke up with them on the spot. They tried hard to win you back, but you refused on the grounds that they were a grade-A asshat.

Well, it was all behind you now. Your bus came to a screeching halt at the front of the camp. You grabbed your duffel and guitar case and headed out. The campsite was at the base of Mt Ebott, and the view was nothing less than amazing. There was just enough breeze to make the trees sway a bit and the clouds in the sky were like large, billowing pillows. You took a deep breath in and smiled. Man, hiking that mountain was going to be great.

Camp counselors were supposed to arrive a day early to help set everything up and go through orientation, but there was still a handful of kids running around and screaming in excitement and anticipation. You adjusted the duffel bag on your shoulder and walked to the main cabin where a crowd of fellow counselors were already gathered. A large, goat-like figure stood in front of everyone. He caught eyes with you and smiled softly; you smiled back and mouthed a quick apology for being late.

“Well, it seems that we can start. First, I would like to thank everyone from the underground who came out to support the camp. Frisk really appreciates the work and effort you put into building this place, and if they are happy, then I am happy.”

You wondered how he knew Frisk. He spoke of the kid as if they were close friends. You wondered if Frisk would visit the camp. You had never seen Frisk before, you had just heard their name in the news or saw it in the paper. They were a kid right? You hoped you would get the chance to meet them.

“I would also like to take a moment to thank the humans who have helped us. We would not be here without your aid.”

You felt your heart lift a little. You were glad that so many humans took the initiative to help out monsters. When they first came from Underground, there were efforts to find them jobs and housing, and many people opened their hearts and their homes to welcome the monsters to the surface.

“That Asgore is really something, isn’t he?” a new voice whispered. You turned to see a human boy standing beside you.

“What? That’s Asgore, really?” You pictured the king of monsters to be…well, more monstrous. You knew it was rude and stereotypical to assume that, but you couldn’t help yourself. You were so surprised. He was wearing a Hawaiin shirt and flip flops for crying out loud! And he spoke so softly, you could hardly imagine that was the voice that ruled over the monster kingdom.

“Yeah, they say Dreemur’s a huge softie,” the boy chuckled, “but you know, I still wouldn’t want to get into a fight with him.”

You nodded and murmured in agreement.

“The name’s Dustin by the way,” he said. You introduced yourself as well and he smiled, patting your arm a bit. “I think we’ll be great friends, seems as though we’re the only human counselors here.”

Your mouth twitched into a frown. Really, only two humans? You glanced around, but saw that Dustin was right. You couldn’t say you were that surprised though.

After the opening ceremonies, all the counselors had to pick up a packet with scheduling information, bunk assignments, and teammates. You waited in line and chatted with a buff seahorse monster named Aron. He flexed and flirted a bit too much for your liking, but he was pretty nice. He was hired specifically to be the camp’s lifeguard and water sports instructor.

You also met BFFs Bratty and Catty, they were nice too, if not a bit over-eager to start making friendship bracelets and the like.

“We, like, totally had to convince this guy to trade spots with Bratty so she could be with me.”

“I mean it’s like, totally fine and all. He didn’t seem to mind once I, like, promised to make-out with him and stuff.”

“Oh, you’re so bad.”

“No, you’re so bad.”

You finally received your paperwork and you rifled through the pages of your packet, it seemed as though you were going to be working with the eight year olds and your partner was someone by the name Sans. You nodded and happily made your way to your cabin. You fiddled with your keys until you got the door unlocked. A nice, warm shower would be great right now, you thought to yourself. You pushed the door open and placed your duffel and guitar on the ground.

You flicked on the light and screamed.

A skeleton was sleeping in your bed. You jumped back and narrowed your eyes. “Who the hell are you?” you point at him accusingly, even though he hadn’t stirred. “What are you doing in here?”

The skeleton lazily cracked open an eye and said, “what does it look like i’m doing? wake me when it’s time for orientation.”

“Orientation already happened.”

“oh. i guess i must’ve really been bone tired.”

You didn’t laugh.

“tough crowd. guess you don’t find me very humerus, do ya?”

“Get out of my room.”

“ok.”

The skeleton didn’t move a muscle.

Okay, so the skeleton didn’t have muscles to move. But still.

“Well…?”

“oh, you meant now.”

“Yes, time is of the essence in this situation.”

“ok.”

“I mean it.”

“ok.”

“Go to your own cabin.”

“ok.”

“And stay there.”

“ok.”

You paused, waiting for the skeleton to show any signs of movement, but he was still curled up in what was supposed to be your bed. You coughed loudly, but he did not stir. You rubbed your temple and demanded, “Why aren’t you moving!”

“you told me to stay here.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?!”

“no, i’m sans.”

“You’re Sans?” Your question came out a bit ruder than you anticipated, but it was rude of him to camp out in your cabin without your permission.

“yeah, but sans the attitude.”

You grit your teeth together, walked up to your bed, and pulled the skeleton out by the shirt collar. This is when you finally got a good look at him. Wrinkly white shirt, black shorts, a large blue hoodie (even though it was probably 90 degrees outside) and old faded fuzzy slippers. He was only just a little shorter than you, but his eyes met yours. Deep, dark circles that reminded you more of black holes than eyes, and right in the center of them were two white pinpricks of light that were twinkling with amusement.

“stare at me any longer and i’m gonna start thinking you wanna jump my bones.”

You let go of his shirt and push him away.

“what? did i say something to get under your skin?”

Monster magic was something else because even though this skeleton had no skin to help discern emotion, you could tell that he was giving you the most shit eating grin ever thought possible. Your face flushed red and you began pushing him out the door with him chuckling all the way. You finally manage to push him outside your cabin and the skeleton leaned up against the frame so you couldn’t slam the door in his face. He was practically beaming when he said, “so like i was sayin, i’m sans. sans the skeleton. and you’re human right? that’s hilarious. tibia honest with ya, i think-”

Doorway be damned, you slammed the door shut without letting him finish his joke. You shuffled back to your bed when you heard a muffled “it’s gonna be a sans-sational summer!”

Well that was just sans-tastic.

Chapter Text

The next morning you woke up bright-eyed and bushy tailed, excited for the summer to start. You got dressed and tied your hair back. You glanced at the schedule. Today was breakfast with the other counselors and then the welcoming events for the kiddos.

You walked down to the cafeteria and grabbed some oatmeal and an apple. Most of the other counselors were already eating and chatting. You wondered if you should sit with someone new, but you spotted Dustin at a nearby table and he waved you over. You sat beside him and took a bite of your breakfast. “How was your night?” you asked.

“Fine I s’pose. Nothing too exciting happened, what about you?”

Sans’s face flickered in your mind, and you began to tell Dustin about your encounter, but before you could even start your story, a bony hand slammed down on the tabletop. You looked up to see Sans leering above you, a smirk on his face. His eyes twinkled as he said, “thanks for letting me sleep over. slept like the dead,” he grinned even wider. “if ya ever want me to return the favor, my cabin is always open. just look for the sign that says welcome to the bone zone.”

And with that, he gave you an exaggerated wink and then left the table.

“So…would it be moot point to even bother asking you out?”

“Oh my god it isn’t even like that at all!”

“Sounded pretty serious,” Dustin teased. “You sure work fast.”

“Ugh,” you hid your face in your hands from embarrassment. “The stupid skeleton was napping in my room last night. I don’t even want to know how he got in,” you paused. “Wait, you wanted to ask me out?”

Dustin laughed awkwardly and said it’d probably be better to wait. After all, clearly you were going to have a number of suitors after you this summer. You snorted at the notion, but embarrassedly shoved spoonful after spoonful of oatmeal into your mouth to avoid talking.

You chatted a little while longer. Dustin was in charge of the middle school kids and his teammate was someone named Undyne. You vaguely recalled seeing the name from the newspaper, but you couldn’t really remember much about it. You wished him the best of luck and promised to grab lunch with him later.

For now, you had other things to worry about. Like where a certain skeleton had drifted off to. After the encounter with him at the breakfast table, it was like he had disappeared. You were supposed to be talking about opening ceremonies and ice breaker activities. You groaned in exasperation. You didn’t really have the time to look for him, so you hoped he would turn up soon.

You walked towards the head of the camp, and it felt like everything was moving in fast forward. There were dozens of children running around playing tag. Some of the monsters and humans were intermingling and making new friends fast. You watched as concerned parents bonded with each other over the sadness of leaving their kids alone for the summer. You reassured countless guardians that the kids had access to a phone and that they would be sending lots of postcards. Soon things began to calm down and the kids were organized into their camps.

You were in charge of the 8 year olds (and whatever year that happened to translate for monsters). There were 16 kids in your group, a nice even number that could easily be split if your partner ever came back. You rolled your eyes and greeted everyone.

“Good morning my darling campers are you ready to have a good time!”

A chorus of ‘yeah!’ rang through the group. You smiled widely at them and introduced yourself. Then, you beckoned them to follow you. You marched through a bit of forest until you came to a wide clearing. You had all the kids sit in a large circle and you started out with a few ice breakers. Each person went around the circle saying their name, favorite food and what they were looking forward to most at camp. Since a majority of the kids were monsters, you didn’t actually know most of the foods they talked about, but you nodded and pretended like you had.

One of the last kids looked a bit pensive before rapidly signing with their hands. You blinked in surprise, then suddenly felt guilty. Weren’t you supposed to know about a deaf kid? Were they totally bored sitting there not knowing what was happening? Your sign language was a bit rusty, and you really only knew the alphabet, but you figured it was better than nothing. D-E-A-F you clumsily signed each letter slowly. You shrugged, hoping they would understand it was a question.

They shook their head and slowly signed back M-U-T-E.

Ah, that made you feel a little better. You nodded. “What was your name, sweetie?”

F-R-I-S-K

Your jaw dropped. This was Frisk? They were…they were so cute. You couldn’t really imagine them being the savior of the underground. You remembered Asgore saying this meant a lot to Frisk. Was it their idea? Probably. You couldn’t believe your luck.

Frisk started slowly signing again. S-A-N-S

Before you could say that the lazybones Sans had disappeared off the face of the planet (you wish), you heard his voice from behind you say, “i’m right here kiddo. what, did you think i’d miss out on this?”

Frisk’s face instantly brightened and you pursed your lips a bit. “Where on earth have you been?” you asked sourly.

Sans shrugged and said, “ya know, around. i figured you had this covered, but it’s lookin like a total snooze fest. hey, kids, wanna go throw rocks into the river?”

A loud chorus of ‘yeah!’ came from the group and they all got up and started running towards the river. Sans started following them, but stopped to glance back at you. “well,” he said, “water you wading for?”

You huffed and tried to think of a retort, but nothing came to you.

“Seems as though you’re a bit…tongue-tide.”

You closed your eyes to try and recollect yourself. You will not let him get to you, you won’t. You opened your eyes to tell him off, but Sans was already gone. You huffed again and started walking towards the river.

***

When you finally made it to the creek, you blanched. Two of the kids were fighting, one monster boy had fallen and scraped his knee, three of the girls were somehow stuck on a sandbar in the middle of the river, a group of five were screaming and hollering bloody murder as they played in what you could only assume was a death match of tag, one girl was lying in fetal position and it looked like she was missing a shoe, and another monster boy was climbing a tree. Only Frisk and MK were actually interested in skipping rocks and MK couldn’t even do that because he had no arms.

“Oh my god where the hell is Sans?” you were going to punch him. You had envisioned walking back to the cabins and mess hall with your group singing 99 bottles and She’ll Be Coming ‘Round the Mountain. You were not equipped to handle fourteen screaming children by yourself. You took a deep breath, everything would be fine. You picked up the whistle around your neck and blew into it as hard as you could. The shrill sound of the whistle instantly subdued the children’s kicking, screaming, and crying. Sixteen sets of eyes were now all on you.

“Alright this is how it’s going to go! Andreas and Xenopi, quit your fighting, we use our words here not our fists. Don’t make me call your mothers the first day here. Fergus, don’t worry you’ll be fine I’ve got a band-aid. You five, yes you the ones screaming so loud the Martians can hear, you are going to tone it down a few notches and stay in the play area where I can see you. You three girls on the sandbar, stop your whining the river is only knee-high and if you got over there you can just as easily come back. Mally literally has fins and gills so please stop crying. Stephanie, I promise I will help you find your shoe but you need to get up off the ground you’re getting your hair all dirty and Orion, I swear to God if you don’t climb down that tree I will climb up and you will not be a happy camper when I get to the top. Capiche?”

There was a still silence in the air and then the kids started to move quietly. Andreas apologized to Xenopi, Fergus got his bandage and then joined the group of kids playing tag, Mally helped the other girls across the river so they wouldn’t get their feet wet, Stephanie picked up her shoe from where she lost it and asked if you would braid her hair, and Orion reluctantly climbed down from the tree and joined Frisk and MK at the edge of the river, though not without mumbling a quiet “I bet Sans would have let me stay in the tree.” You breathed a sigh of relief. You could do this, even without Sans to back you up.

After about a half hour of relaxing by the river, it was time for lunch. You marched the kids back towards the campsite and led them in a clumsy rendition of Boom Chicka Boom. They seemed to be enjoying themselves, and included lots of hand motions so Frisk could join in on the fun. When you arrived at the campsite, you saw Sans lounging in a hammock.

“Alright guys, head on in and get some food. Sit where you like!” you said. They cheered and rushed to get in line.

You let your smile drop as you approached the hammock. Sans was clearly asleep. You grabbed the side of the hammock and lifted it which caused Sans to topple out over the side. His eyes flew open and he looked up at you.

“what was that for? you got somethin against a guy tryin to relax and,” he untwisted the hammock ropes, “unwind?”

“No, but I’ve got something against you totally ditching me back there!” you exclaimed.

“aw, don’t tell me that you’ve got a bone to pick over that…it wasn’t…on porpoise,” he picked himself up off the ground and stretched.

“I’m so over those water puns, Sans. How could you leave me with sixteen screaming kids so you could TAKE A NAP?”

Sans shrugged and stuffed his hands in his hoodie pockets. “what can i say, buddy? sleep comes so natural to me, i can do it with my eyes closed.”

You started to shake with anger. Was this how it was going to be all summer? You didn’t know if you could last that long without strangling him. He winked at you.

“welp, this has been fun but now it’s time to grab some grub so, uh, see ya.”

In a blink, he was gone.

***

“I mean, I think you’re being a little irrational,” Dustin said. You had just finished describing your last two encounters with Sans and how you couldn’t imagine having to deal with him all summer. His reaction was not what you were expecting.

“What! But…he’s…he’s so…ANNOYING!” you complained.

“Well sure, but the two of didn’t start off on the right foot and I think you might be judging him too harshly. You should give him a second chance.” Dustin shrugged and propped his arm up on the table. You noticed something new about it.

“What the heck happened to your arm?” you asked. “That cast wasn’t there this morning.”

Dustin flushed. He looked away from you, clearly embarrassed. “Well, uhm, remember how I said I was partnered with Undyne? Turns out she was the head of the Royal Guard and uh…” he trailed off, “Just don’t ever challenge her to an arm wrestling contest. Ever.”

You snorted. “You alright?”

“Sure, sure, pride wounded but the kids got a kick out of it,” he rubbed his arm tenderly. “Undyne felt pretty bad about it too, said something about forgetting how wimpy humans are.”

“Ouch.”

“Yeah, but anyway, about Sans-”

“what about sans?” a voice asked inches from your ear.

You felt a chill go down your spine and you yelped. You turned your head to see Sans standing right behind you, eyes lazily glancing between you and Dustin.

“ya know, ‘s pretty rude to be talkin about someone who isn’t there.”

“I’d say it’s pretty rude to be eavesdropping on someone else’s conversation,” you retorted.

Sans pulled out the chair next to yours and slid in. He rested his arm on the back of the chair and propped his feet up on the table. “well, don’t stop talkin on my account. what about sans? i’m simply dying to know.”

Dustin looked at you awkwardly. You tried to think of something clever, but nothing came. You glared at the table, angry with yourself for getting into this mess. How long had he been listening in?

“hmm, whatsamatter? skeleton got your tongue?”

You scowled. “Fuck you Sans.” Not the best comeback, but it got the message across.

He looked at you with a smug smirk on his face. “what? here? now? in front of all these people? you’re kind of a freak, ya know that?” He removed his feet from the table and stood up. “welp, time to get goin, wouldn’t wanna be late to arts and crafts.”

Sans strolled out of the mess hall. You turned to Dustin. “You see what I have to put up with! You cannot possibly tell me to give him a second chance!”

“Don’t let him get to you,” Dustin advised. “Seriously, I mean I hate to make this pun but he really is just trying to get under your skin. Maybe if you just talked to him, he’d be more reasonable.”

“Fat chance,” you muttered. You glanced at your watch. As much as you hated to admit it, Sans was right, it was time to get going. You dumped your tray and said your goodbyes to Dustin, wishing him well with Undyne.

**

When you arrived to the arts and crafts building, you were surprised to see a skeleton there. It wasn’t Sans, naturally, but rather a taller skeleton in a “Cool Counselor” shirt and blue shorts. He was covered from head to toe in macaroni and glitter. A few of the kindergarteners were using his body as a climbing tree. When you walked into the room with your group of kids, he noticed you right away.

“HELLO HUMAN! DO YOU MIND HELPING ME PRY THESE TINIER HUMANS OFF MY ARMS?”

You directed your group to the art tables and told them to sit tight and start coloring. You walked over to the tall skeleton and coaxed a few kids down. Once they were on the floor, they darted for the older kids and started playing with them instead.

“THANK YOU! NOW I CAN GIVE YOU A PROPER INTRODUCTION. I AM THE GREAT PAPYRUS, I AM SURE YOU HAVE HEARD OF ME, FOR I AM PRETTY GREAT.” He extended out his hand, which you took. He shook yours vigorously, almost crushing your fingers.

You held back tears of pain and introduced yourself.

“OH, YES I HAVE HEARD OF YOU. MY BROTHER SANS MENTIONED YOU TODAY, BUT YOU ARE MUCH NICER THAN HE SAID YOU WERE,” he paused and stroked his jaw thoughtfully, “ACTUALLY, COME TO THINK OF IT, WHERE IS SANS?”

You rolled your eyes. “Heck if I know, Papyrus. Your brother has developed a habit of disappearing once needed.”

“YES, THAT SOUNDS LIKE HIM. HE IS A SACK OF LAZYBONES YOU KNOW.” Papyrus started straightening up the art supplies. “DID YOU KNOW THAT THERE WERE MORE USES TO PASTA THAN JUST EATING? IT IS TRULY FASCINATING!”

You and Papyrus gathered up supplies for macaroni art and passed them out to your campers. You turned on the radio as they worked on their artwork. Later in the week you’d be making frames for their macaroni masterpieces to live in, but for now they were happy gluing pasta wheels and shells and covering them in glitter and stickers. The older kids were helping the kindergarteners with the scissors and glue. It was very sweet.

“hey bro.” you heard from behind you. When did he get here? You didn’t even hear the door open.

“SANS, YOU ARE NEARLY 20 MINUTES LATE. WE THOUGHT YOU WERE NOT COMING.”

“what, and miss the kiddos working on macaroni art? impastable.”

“SANS.”

You left the brothers to their bickering and went to go check on your kids. Most of them were being helpful and working with the younger children.

“Beautiful colors Wanda, nice use of macaroni Andreas, I love your creativity Fergus,” you praised each kid one by one until you got to Orion, whose paper was blank. “Orion, don’t you want to make some macaroni art?”

“No, this is stupid,” he pouted, crossing his arms. “I hate this.”

You knelt down beside him, “Come on, your mom and dad would love to have a keepsake.”

“Art is dumb.”

“Orion, you don’t have to like what we’re doing, but you shouldn’t use words like that, they’re not very nice.” You stood up now and handed him some crayons. “Just try it, you might like it.”

He didn’t move an inch.

“hey, kid. do ya wanna see somethin cool?”

You turned around to see Sans standing next to you. Orion suddenly seemed very interested, and he nodded excitedly. Sans picked up a stray paintbrush and dunked it in some blue paint. He went over to Orion’s blank page and flicked the paintbrush at the page, creating a splatter. Sans looked up at you, a glint in his eyes. He dipped the brush again in some red paint and did it again, this time with more force, which got some paint splatters on your shirt. Orion was now very interested in this new form of arm. He grabbed his own brush and squirted some green paint onto it and flung it at the page, though you were absolutely certain he was aiming for you because nearly all of the paint glob ended up on your shirt and pants.

And with that simple action, chaos ensued and suddenly all the kids wanted to try splatter paint. You and Papyrus tried to settle everyone down, but mostly got caught in the cross-fire of flinging paint. By the time you got everyone to stop playing with the paint, you looked like you had been through an intense game of paintball, or dipped into a vat of tie-dye. You glared at Sans, who managed to stay perfectly spotless.

“ya got a little somethin on your shirt.”

“I hate you,” you said.

“no need to get all green with envy,” Sans said with a shrug.

“I will get my revenge,” you swore.

“ya feelin’ ok? you’re a bit red in the face,” he continued, an amused smirk crossing his face.

“This was a great shirt,” you said, narrowing your eyes.

“don’t be blue about it,” Sans snickered.

“Fuck you Sans.”

He snorted, “very orange-inal,” and then he was gone.

How many more days of summer were there again?

Chapter Text

“You look like you’re about to kill a man,” Dustin commented as he took a sip of his juice. “What’d he do this time?”

“Nothing!” you spat, sinking in your chair.

“Yeah, it’s rather annoying when the person you hate does nothing wrong.”

“No,” you snapped, “it isn’t that he’s done nothing wrong, it’s that he’s done nothing. Every morning he goes off to wherever he goes, stops back in for lunch, makes a stupid skeleton pun, and then he sleeps through whatever activity we do in the afternoon. It’s so ridiculous!”

“Hmm,” Dustin swirled his spoon around his oatmeal. “Okay, but what was the pun?”

“You’re not helping!” you wailed.

“Sorry, but I’ve got to know the context of his great terribleness.” Dustin dropped his spoon and looked at you. “I still think you’re overreacting. Have you taken my advice and talked to him yet? Try to make nice?”

“Well…no,” you admitted.

Dustin cocked an eyebrow and shrugged. “Today might be the day to get on that because it looks as though bone boy is in a good mood.”

You furrowed your eyebrows and Dustin points behind you. You slowly turned and you saw Sans and Papyrus chatting amiably across the mess hall. Actually, it looked more like Sans was the one doing all the talking, and he looked…happy? You had never seen him talk so much or smile so genuinely – in fact, you were thoroughly convinced that the only smiles he was capable of were condescending or smug smirks. It was…weird, actually.

“He’s up to something,” you concluded.

Dustin rolled his eyes. “Sure, we’ll go with that, but I have to get going, today is archery and if I’m late Undyne will shoot me…literally.”

“And since we can’t risk you losing function of anymore limbs, I guess I’ll bid you adieu,” you said with a dramatic wave of your hand. “I’m off to the science labs to blow shit up, the kids will have a ball.”

You went to collect your group of kids from their table. Most of them greeted you with a warm good morning, Frisk included, but a handful of kids whined for Sans. You rolled your eyes. They only liked him because he never disciplined them, and he was only around for the fun parts of activities, never the “boring learny bits,” as some of the kids put it. Whatever, you didn’t care.

You led your kids to the science labs only to find that the door was already opened. You peered inside to see Sans already there, lab coat layered on top of his usual hoodie and t-shirt, twirling a pen between his fingers, and…were those glasses taped to his skull? You almost had to do a double take because this was not the lazybones that you were used to. Sans looked almost giddy as he rushed to set things up.

“Uh…”

At the sound of your voice, Sans suddenly slowed his pace and turned around. The pinpricks in his eyes flickered between you and the kids before finally settling on you. You raised an eyebrow at him, clearly confused. He set down the box of materials he had been holding and gave a lazy shrug. “what, never see a real bone-a-fied scientist before?”

“What is all this?” you asked, gesturing to boxes filled with magnets, metals, and…Borax? “We’re supposed to be doing the baking soda volcano and-”

“and as much as i lava that project, i picked something that actually doesn’t suck,” Sans interrupted. The kids ‘ooohed’ at his retort. “in fact, i think it’s rather mag-neato.”

You crossed your arms impatiently. “Out with it then, what’s your great project?”

Sans only winked before he took control of the group.

***

Magnetic slime.

Yes, that’s right. Sans’s master project was magnetic slime. As in, slime that was magnetic. It was gooey and disgusting to the touch. It was just powerful enough to lift a few grams of iron and a slew of paperclips. It was a messy process that left half the kids covered in glue but gosh-darn it if they weren’t having fun.

It was perfect.

You hated it.

“pretty goo-reat project, dontcha think?” Sans asked smugly.

“Shut it, Sans.”

“sli-mean the kiddos are havin a pretty great time thanks to me,” Sans propped his arm up and rested his head in his palm. “wouldntcha agree?”

“Sans, seriously, just shut up.”

“i mean, i won’t fib-ula, i-”

“OH MY GOD!” you shouted. “You know, Sans, you’d seriously be way more likable if it weren’t for that huge gaping hole in your skull that noise comes out of!” You jabbed at his teeth, but he moved away too quickly for you to make contact.

The room went still. The kids were all staring at you and Sans, waiting for him to react. You were waiting as well, unsure if you should have raised your voice, especially in front of the kids. After a few moments, Sans smiled and waved it off. He told the kids to head down to lunch, and that he would catch up later.

When the last kid left it was just you and Sans standing alone in the lab. The way he was staring at you made you feel uneasy, like you were a child about to be scolded. He closed his eye sockets and let out a breath.

“ya know,” he said lightly, “with all these magnets around ya might wanna consider attracting yourself a better personality.”

You felt an angry blush starting to form on your face. You were not going to let him win this round. You took a deep breath and said, “I am attractive, thank you very much. In fact…some might even consider me a babe magnet.” Nice, nice, you thought to yourself.

Sans didn’t move, he just continued to stare at you. You wondered if you managed to outwit him and render him speechless. He rubbed his jaw thoughtfully and then winked at you. “ya know, you’re right. my mistake. i forgot magnets could repel. silly me.”

You were silenced. Sans gave you a knowing grin and said, “welp, gotta go grab lunch with the kiddos. you don’t mind cleanin this up right? you might wanna start with wiping that dumb look off your face.”

You blinked and he disappeared.

You felt your anger start to bubble as you began cleaning the lab. Fuck you, Sans, you thought crossly as you swept up the floor. Fuck you, Sans, you thought bitterly as you brushed chunks of slime into the garbage. Fuck you, Sans, you thought angrily as you wiped up smears of glue. Fuck you, Sans, you thought furiously as you slammed down your rag.

“FUCK YOU!” you screamed aloud.

“O-o-oh, I…I’m so s-s-sorry?”

You blinked and turned around to see a small yellow dinosaur standing behind you. She looked nervous and she was picking at the sleeves of her lab coat. You covered your mouth in mortification. “Oh my god, no, not you. I’m so sorry, that was…it wasn’t meant for…ah, geez, I’m sorry my co-counselor just has me on edge.”

“O-oh, I s-see,” she wrung her hands together. “Y-y-yes, I s-suppose Sans is, is q-quite the handful at times.”

“You know him?”

She nodded. “N-not that w-w-well though, b-but back Underground, h-he would come by the l-lab and do some r-r-research.”

You snorted. “That lazy bag of bones did research? Research that requires actual work? I’m sorry, I’m totally not buying it.”

“B-but it’s t-true!” the dinosaur exclaimed. “H-he doesn’t look it b-b-but Sans has the equivalent to a d-d-degree in q-quantum physics.”

What the hell. You were not expecting that at all. Why on earth would Sans have a degree in quantum physics? And furthermore, what the hell was he doing at a summer camp if he did? You shook your head. That guy was a total wild card.

“A-anyway, I’m Alphys. I-it’s nice to m-m-meet you.” Alphys held out her hand, which you shook gingerly. You introduced yourself as well.

“By the way Alphys, what are you doing in here? Isn’t it lunch hour?”

Alphys started to blush a little. She turned away and said quietly, “W-well I d-d-don’t have anyone to s-sit with, so I just c-come here to eat cup noodles and w-watch anime.”

Oh. She didn’t have anyone to hang out with? You felt especially guilty about the whole ‘fuck you’ incident now. Alphys seemed so sweet and adorable though, and you couldn’t bear the thought of leaving her here while you went to the mess hall.

“Alphys, don’t be silly, you can come sit with me and my buddy Dustin!” you offered. “You shouldn’t feel the need to hide from everyone.”

“A-are you sure?” Alphys asked, turning away from you again. “I w-wouldn’t want to i-impose.”

“Of course I’m sure. Let’s get going, you can fill me in about the latest anime you’re watching on the way there.”

And so she did. She babbled on about magical girls the whole way, and even though you didn’t quite understand half the conversation, you were glad that she was happy. And, actually, the anime didn’t sound half bad. You might have to look it up one of these days.

When you got to the cafeteria, you and Alphys walked inside, grabbed a tray of food, and headed over to the table where Dustin and…someone else…was sitting.

“O-o-oh n-n-no.”

“Hmm, what’s wrong Alphys?” you asked.

“I-I-I can’t g-go over there!” she squeaked. “Th-that’s Undyne!”

You raised an eyebrow in confusion. “Dustin’s never mentioned anything bad about Undyne. Is something wrong with her?”

“N-n-no!” Alphys exclaimed quickly. You saw a dark blush creeping its way onto her face. “U-Undyne is p-p-perfect!”

Oh my god.

“Alphys, do you have a crush on Undyne?” you asked teasingly. Alphys’s entire face blushed crimson. Sweat began forming on her forehead. You tried your best to hold back a happy squeal. “Well then, we have to go sit with her!”

“N-no!” Alphys looked at the floor in embarrassment. “W-we…well, you see…Frisk-kind-of-took-me-on-a-date-but-then-Undyne-saw-and-I-confessed-my-love-and-then-she-said-she-liked-my-passion-and-we-almost-kissed-but-not-really-and-then-we-got-captured-by-a-flower-and-we-almost-kissed-again-but-toriel-wouldn’t-let-us-in-front-of-the-human-and-then-I-got-nervous-and-started-avoiding-her-and-we-havent-seen-each-other-since.”

You took a minute to process what Alphys said, decided that she really needed to fill you in on some parts of the story later, and then grabbed her hand. “Well, now is as good of a time as ever for a reunion.”

“N-n-no, I c-can’t face her n-now! I-it’s b-b-been too long!” she protested. “Sh-she’s g-gonna hate m-me!”

You plunked Alphys down in the chair across from Undyne. You slide into the seat next to her and said, “Hey Dustin, how’s it going? Is this Undyne? It’s nice to finally meet you.”

Undyne wasn’t paying attention, all of her focus was on Alphys, who was shaking like a leaf. Undyne gently pat Alphys’s arm and said, “Hey, uh, I finished that anime with the swords and guns, mind recommending me somethin else?” You saw a light green blush dust her cheeks and gills.

From the corner of your eye, you saw Dustin’s jaw drop. You turned to face him quizzically. “She…” he trailed off. “She’s never that nice when she’s talking to me!”

After Undyne finally stopped making love eyes at Alphys, she noticed you. “Hey! You’re that punk who got paired with Sans, huh?” Did everyone at this camp know Sans but you? “FUHUHU! Good luck to ya, he’s a real-”

“don’t play koi with me undyne.” Sans and Papyrus were now standing in front of your table. Where they came from, you had no idea.

“OH LOOK SANS, IT’S ALL MY CLOSEST AND BEST FRIENDS GATHERED HERE TOGETHER…WELL, ALL BUT THE SMALL HUMAN, BUT I SUPPOSE THIS IS PRETTY GREAT.” Papyrus took the seat next to Undyne and Dustin. He started slurping up his plate of…spaghetti? You were sure that pasta was definitely not on the menu for lunch today.

“There’s two of them?” Dustin murmured at you.

You nodded. “Papyrus, this is Dustin. Dustin, this is, well, I think it’s best if I let him introduce himself.”

“HELLO, I AM THE GREAT PAPYRUS, BUT YOU MAY JUST CALL ME PAPYRUS. ARE YOU A HUMAN?” Dustin nodded, though a bit confused. “LOOK SANS, I’VE MADE YET ANOTHER HUMAN FRIEND.”

“that’s cool bro.”

“How are the kindergarteners treating you?” you asked Papyrus. You chose to ignore Sans, who decided to slide into the seat next to yours even though there were plenty of empty chairs at your table.

“THEY ARE QUITE ENERGETIC, THOUGH THEY ARE NO MATCH FOR ME!” Papyrus then launched into a story of how some of the monster kids and human kids fought valiantly over babybones puzzles. You were pretty engrossed with the tale, Papyrus was quite the storyteller, but you got distracted when you felt a distinct tap on your shoulder.

You turned to see who approached you, only to find nobody there. You focused on Papyrus again, but then you felt the tap on your other shoulder – sharper this time. You turned, but again there was no one behind you. You rubbed your shoulder and hesitantly looked over at Papyrus, but then a hard flick hit your neck. You clasped your neck immediately, hoping to catch the hand that flicked you, but you only felt the air and your skin. You glanced around at the people at your table, all of whom were completely captivated by Papyrus…except for the snickering skeleton sitting right beside you.

“Real mature,” you hissed. “Quit touching me.”

“dunno what you mean,” he said coolly. “i’m not touchin ya.”

You huffed and kept a watchful eye on his hands. You felt another poke in the middle of your back. His hands didn’t move. It angered you more than it should, especially since you knew that somehow, someway it WAS him.

“just poking a little fun at ya, i mean you did take a jab at me earlier, maybe if you weren’t such a slowpoke you could avoid it. ya dig what i’m sayin?” With every pun, the prodding got sharper and faster.

“Yeah and if you keep it up, you’re gonna get a nice, swift kick in the teeth. You dig?”

Sans snickered again and his eye flickered cyan so quickly that if you blinked you would’ve missed it. Suddenly, the poking stopped. You knew it was him. You openly glared and he shrugged. Asshole.

You caught the end of Papyrus’s story – he jumped in to save the day like a great superhero – and now all the kids wanted to be him when they grew up. You thought of a world filled with Papyruses and decided it probably would be a magical place to live.

Lunch hour came to a close and everyone parted ways to get back to their group of kids, with Undyne literally carrying Dustin over in one arm to impress the middle schoolers (you almost felt bad for his pride, but hey Undyne seemed pretty badass so). You threw out your trash and started walking to your group, but paused when you saw Papyrus and Sans chatting not too far from you.

“BROTHER, FOR WHAT PURPOSE WERE YOU USING YOUR MAGIC ON THE HUMAN? DON’T THINK I DIDN’T NOTICE!”

You strained to listen. You wanted to know the answer as well.

“huh, well, papyrus, i guess you could say i wanted to let ‘em know i’d tap that.”

Your face went red and you scurried away, not bothering to look back.

Chapter Text

“Alright, everyone on the bus! No, Maplecone, you can’t bring your action figures with you. Billy, we’ve already taken you to the bathroom five times I know you don’t really have to go. Andreas and Xenopi! You two stop pushing each other and get on the bus. And…Orion, if you would be so kind as to join us I’m sure your campmates would appreciate it.”

You checked your watch. 7 am. Today marked the end of the first week of camp and all the kids were going on a short trip to a nearby lake for picnicking, camp games, and canoes. Sans, as usual, was nowhere to be found but if he didn’t want to show up for field trip day it was truly his loss.

When all of the kids were finally on the bus, you and the other counselors got on board as well. You chose a seat towards the back of the bus where you could keep an eye on the rowdier kids. You planned on sitting by yourself, so you were surprised when Undyne slid into the seat next to you. Up close you could really make out all the defined muscles in her arms. Girl was ripped. You gulped, remembering what happened with Dustin’s arm.

Noticing your apprehension, Undyne gave you a reassuring, if not a bit toothy, smile.

“What’s up pipsqueak?”

“Hey Undyne,” you greeted, choosing to ignore the pipsqueak comment.

“So, uh, you seen Sans around? Papyrus was worried about him sleeping through his alarm.”

You shrugged. “Honestly Undyne, I don’t know where Sans is and I’d be lying if I said I cared.”

“Right, right,” Undyne said quickly. “Um, so Frisk! How’s the shorty doing?”

Undyne didn’t really strike you as the type to make idle chit-chat. She seemed like the kind of person to get straight to the point without beating around the bush. You wondered if this small talk was her way of easing into asking you for a favor – not that you were completely sure what kind of favor she’d be asking a near stranger.

“Frisk’s great. Perfect, even. They’re the best-behaved out of the entire group,” you said. “But, Undyne, I get the feeling you don’t want to actually want to talk about Sans or Frisk. What do you want?”

Undyne blinked back her surprise and then she slapped you on the back. Ow. That was definitely going to bruise. “Alright, punk, you caught me. I actually need to ask you something about Alphys.”

Ah, yes. Your new dinosaur friend. She shyly approached you and Dustin yesterday at breakfast asking if you wanted to watch Mew Mew Kissy Face with her. Dustin politely declined (“anything with the name ‘kissy face’ isn’t for me”) but you accepted the offer. Alphys had her laptop out and you were shamefully engrossed with it. You and Alphys met up at lunch and dinner to watch as well and you asked to meet up at your cabin to watch once everyone was asleep. Alphys chattered throughout the anime, getting over excited and nearly spoiling it for you, but you enjoyed it nonetheless. In between episodes, Alphys talked about life in the underground and she mentioned Undyne more than a few times. You tried to convince her to talk to Undyne about what happened, but she refused (“i-it’s j-just too em-embarrassing!”).

The two of you stayed up until 3 in the morning marathoning. It was worth it.

“Did she…I mean I saw you guys hanging out…” Undyne started, but she was unable to get her question out. You saw a familiar green glow spreading on her cheeks. “Listen squirt, I need you to be straight with me here. Did Alphys say anything about me?”

Oh. My. God.

“Yeah, she did,” you said, reclining in your seat a bit.

When you didn’t specify, Undyne began to grip your shoulder. Ow. Ow. Ow. “Don’t tell me I’m going to have to pummel it outta you!”

You winced. “Undyne, do you have a crush on Alphys?”

Undyne released your shoulder and put her hands in her lap. “I wrote her a letter,” she confessed. “But Frisk delivered it and then Alphys thought Frisk wrote it!”

Some holes in Alphys’s story were starting to make more sense.

“And I ran into them at the dump and Alphys told me anime wasn’t real! And then I told her she had to take confidence lessons from Papyrus but really I just wanted to kiss her! Do you understand what I’m saying?!”

You didn’t really. Undyne wasn’t the best storyteller. Maybe you should ask Papyrus to recount what actually happened.

“And then I think we almost kissed at some point but…ergh! It’s all real fuzzy. But when I saw her the other day and…well, YOU were hanging out with her so I thought maybe…maybe…NGHA!” Undyne groaned in frustration.

“She likes you too,” you said.

Undyne’s green blush spread to her gills. “You’re not pulling my leg are you? Because I will suplex you if you are.”

“I’m being serious,” you assured. “She said so herself. And I think you guys would be really cute together, so I’m going to help you.” You weren’t sure how exactly you were going to get Alphys and Undyne together, but now that it was painfully obvious that the monsters had mutual feelings for each other you wanted them to start dating. “I can try and talk to Alphys for you, if you’d like.”

Undyne was quiet for a minute before she pulled you into a crushing side hug. “You know what punk? You’re really not as bad as Sans makes you out to be! I can tell we’re gonna be great friends!”

Did Sans tell everyone at camp that you were a horrible person? You pushed the thought aside as Undyne released you from her hug. You knew that you were definitely going to be covered in bruises. But…now at least, you had another friend.

**

The bus came to a screeching halt and the kids practically ran off. They started hollering and running around the lakeside. You ran to catch up with your group, most of whom already started a game of tag.

A bunch of the counselors started setting up canoes and games. You sat down on a tree stump and watched as the kids played around the lake. It made you feel nostalgic for your old camp days. You waited on the side until Frisk and MK walked up to you.

“Yo! Where’d Sans run off to? He promised to show us something really cool!” MK and Frisk both looked really excited. Your smile faltered.

“Oh, guys I’m really sorry but Sans-”

“hey kiddo, sorry it took so long for me to ketchup,” Sans’s voice echoed behind you. You jumped and turned to see him standing right behind you, holding several bottles of ketchup in his hands. You glared. How was he always able to creep up on you like that?

“How did you even get here?” you asked.

“i know a shortcut,” he turned to the kids, “i’m settin up shop wanna see?”

“Yeah!” MK exclaimed as Frisk pumped their fist into the air. You eyed Sans cautiously. What did he mean by set up shop?

You followed Sans, MK, and Frisk to the middle of the site where a few counselors were setting up food stands and tables for lunch. Sans walked to a cardboard stand and set down his bottles. He smiled and asked, “do ya guys know how to make a hotdog stand?”

The kids shook their heads.

“ya take his chair of course!”

MK giggled and Frisk laughed silently behind their hands.

“ok, ok. what happens to a hot dog who misses a lot of school?”

The kids shrugged.

“he has a lot of time he needs to ketchup!”

They started giggling again. You crossed your arms. Sans pulled out two hotdogs from his stand. “alright, what’s the best thing you can give to a dog with a fever?” He didn’t wait for the kids to respond before giving the punchline “mustard! it’s the best on hotdogs!”

He gave MK and Frisk each a hotdog. Frisk started rapidly signing and Sans shrugged. “alright kiddo, i can give ya another for the road.” Sans handed Frisk another hotdog. Frisk started signing again while shaking with silent laughter. “hmm? what was that? another ‘dog? if ya say so.”

You were about to protest that Frisk didn’t need a third hotdog and that they didn’t enough hands to hold them all anyway when Sans placed it on their head.

“Sans you really shouldn’t-”

You were cut off by Frisk signing. It was only one fluid sign this time. Hand was in a thumbs up position and they moved it in a clockwise half circle. Another. Sans placed a second hotdog on their head.

Another.

And a third.

Another.

And a fourth.

“Frisk, don’t you think that’s enough?” you asked. This was getting ridiculous and wasteful. Frisk stared at you with wide eyes and then turned back to Sans and started signing. Now you wished more than ever you knew ASL.

“eh, sure kid if ya think it’s a good idea.” Sans grabbed a handful of hotdogs from his stand and moved so he was right in front of you. Without warning he started stacking them on your head. A few streaks of ketchup and mustard grazed your face. When he was done, Sans stepped back to examine his handiwork. “well, frankly, i don’t think you’ve ever looked better.”

Frisk and MK started giggling again and then they ran off. You weren’t sure how Frisk managed to balance all those hotdogs on their head. You glared at Sans and reached up to start removing hotdogs, but found that you couldn’t reach the top (you ignored the fact that it didn’t make any sense since Sans was shorter than you). “You gonna help me?” you asked.

“nah, i think i’ll relish the moment.”

“Sans.”

“that’s the name.”

“Take these hotdogs off my head.”

“ok.”

He grinned at you but didn’t move.

“Now!

“ok.”

“And then leave me alone!”

“mustard you be so cruel?”

“SANS!”

Sans snickered. “c’mon that wasn’t even the wurst one i’ve told today.”

You groaned in frustration.

“sorry buddy, they can’t all be wieners.”

“Sans, do me a favor and just shut your mouth, alright?”

“kinda rude thing to say to someone about to help ya.”

Hot dogs be damned, you turned away and let them all fall to the floor. A few hit you on the way down and you knew you had condiments all over your clothes. You held your ground as best as you could and walked away.

“glad to ketchup with ya!” Sans called. You cringed at the sound of his voice, but refused to give him the satisfaction of turning around.

**

You chose to relax with Dustin during lunch hour. You very pointedly did not get a hot dog.

“Like…he wasn’t even supposed to show up today! He wasn’t on the bus!” you cried. “I thought, hey, his loss for not wanting to show up it’s great news for me, but now a have a second shirt stained because of him!”

Dustin chewed on his hamburger. “I know how much you hate this suggestion but I really think apologizing could work.”

Your instinct was to call Dustin a weenie, but after your interaction with Sans, you bit it back. “I shouldn’t apologize because I’m not in the wrong here! You’ve seen firsthand how annoying he is.”

Dustin scratched the back of his neck. “Yeah, well, all I’m saying is that Undyne started talking about what great friends you were gonna be and how she wouldn’t have known thanks to Sans talking about you. I know you’re probably right here, but…it might be easiest to let it go. I mean, if you say you’re sorry for…whatever it is. Then maybe the rest of your summer won’t be so bad.”

You didn’t want to apologize. It was the principle of the thing. You were right and Sans was wrong. But…Dustin had a point, you didn’t want this summer to be full of loathing and fighting losing battles.

“Fine,” you said bitterly. “But if this doesn’t work out, I’m blaming you.”

“If it doesn’t work, I promise I’ll help you get back at him.”

**

Sans stared at you dumbly. “you’re apologizin?”

You nodded, looking at the ground. The two of you were standing by the lake, about to supervise your kids as they swam. You seriously had to swallow your pride to say you were sorry. Take the high road, you thought to yourself. Take the high road and avoid a summer full of misery.

“heh,” Sans chuckled to himself, “thanks buddy. i know how hard that must be, to make this choice. to go back on all the things you’ve said, all those sarcastic remarks and glares in the mess hall. welp, c’mere, pal,” Sans held his arms out wide as if to give you a hug. You looked at him suspiciously, but hesitantly (and awkwardly) put your arms around him in what was probably the most uncomfortable hug you’ve ever had.

Suddenly you felt a soft shove and you fell backwards.

“geeettttttt dunked on!!!”

In a blink, you landed in the lake with a loud splash. The water was icy cold and you felt yourself start to sink. Everything felt as though it were moving in slow motion. Your instinct was to start kicking, screaming, and flailing.

But no. In a moment of what you considered sheer brilliance, you had an idea.

Fuck this.

Fuck him.

If he was willing to play dirty than so were you.

You let your eyes close and some breath slip as you fell to the bottom. You were in a pretty shallow area of the lake – probably no more than a few feet deep.

“…heh…you can…you can come up now…” it was garbled because of the water in your ears, but you could definitely hear Sans.

“…kid, this ain’t funny…”

You stayed perfectly still. The water was freezing and it was numbing your limbs, but you were determined.

“sh-shit…”

A bony hand entwined with yours and you let your eyes snap open. You saw a shadowy figure jerk back, but your mouth twisted into a smile and with a hard yank you pulled Sans right into the lake with you.

You could see the shock in his eyes as he fell into the lake. You took this moment to push yourself up to the surface and you took a deep breath. Sans bobbed up shortly after you and you watched as the water leaked out from his bones. It was…creepy.

“Not so much fun being on the end of a joke is it?” you asked, wringing out your hair. Your clothes were completely soaked and you were shivering, but it was worth it to see Sans in the same state. You pulled yourself out of the water. Sans was still lying in the shallow part of the lake. You thought about leaving him there, but your group of campers were now all watching you. Be a good example, you told yourself. You held out your hand.

Sans looked at it thoughtfully. “seems a bit lake to start bein friends, dontcha think?”

“I’m not asking to be friends,” you hissed.

“yeah, i can tell ya don’t lake me very much.”

“You just used that one.”

“what can i say, water puns are hard to aqua-er you sea.” He grinned at you, but made no move to get up.

“Sans, be an adult. The kids are watching and you know we’ve got to be a good example,” you said, inching your hand closer to his.

“dunno, i’m not one for treadin new water,” Sans said with a smirk.

“Sans.”

“dunno if we could get along swimmingly,” he said, now reaching for your hand.

“Sans!”

“after all,” he said, tugging on your hand pulling you down so you were face-to-face, “i’ve heard nothin good comes from swimmin with the sharks.”

Sans released you from his grip, pulled himself up, and shook the water from his bones. You heard a few of the kids ooh and ahh in the background as they watched the water flow from his ribcage. Sans winked and walked to the group, but not before looking back at you and saying, “you shore are somethin else.”

There was an edge to his voice, something you hadn’t heard before. Up until this point, you were always at the brunt of Sans’s jokes, but you hadn’t really retaliated (because, if you’re being honest with yourself – fuck you just wasn’t cutting it with him). You had crossed a new line and you were certain that his comment about swimming with the sharks was meant to be some kind of threat.

Well then, bone boy, bring it on.