Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Robo-Jesus Christ…how long has it been?

CJ had left the bunker at, what, 1:00 AM? It was now 2:47 AM, leaving him plenty of time that he didn't want to think things over and change his mind.

Still, he hadn't. Why would he? If he didn't get himself killed, his psycho ex would—well, he didn't want to know.

Alright, fine. If They wouldn't find him, he would go looking for Them.

Letting out a heavy sigh, CJ slid off the broken-down car on which he was seated. His shoes, for some reason not the boots he could have easily brought, crunched against a thin layer of ice atop the ever-falling snow. Nobody knew quite where They lived, anyone who had the nerve to find out certainly wouldn't live to tell the tale.

It was dark in the wreckage of the city, skyscrapers looming overhead and blotting out the bright moons. Light shone through rarely, in bright, focused rays.

Thanks to the darkness, CJ was sure he would be snuck up on, completely unaware in the moments before his death. Good. The only thing he didn't want was an agonising final few minutes of life.

He also tripped. A lot. His skirt and jacket had long since been tattered by sharper rubble and outlying constructional poles, and he was certain he was leaking oil from his left arm. It didn't matter.

However, CJ couldn't help but be annoyed as he tripped over something lying in the middle of a seemingly flat expanse of snow for the millionth time. Scrambling back on his feet to find out what had violated him this time, he found what looked like an ordinary piece of concrete—wait. Was there something engraved on it?

On the flat side of the concrete chunk, what looked like an upside-down P was haphazardly scratched on. CJ lifted the whole thing out of the snow and dusted the white flakes off. It read:

R.I.P.

GREEN EYES, I LIKE HER SWEATER

…what.

CJ immediately dropped the concrete slab. It was a gravestone of some sorts, that was clear enough, but who would have left it here? And without a proper name? Not to mention, the letters could have only been carved in the way they were with…

…sharp claws.

CJ's head was now spinning, a simple chunk of wreckage causing him to rethink everything. He glanced around wildly, They had to be nearby if this was really Their doing.
All he noticed was more stones. What was peculiar was that they were arranged in a sloppy row, but a row nonetheless.

They all had markings on them.

As CJ contemplated reading the rest of the stones, a loud crash resonated from somewhere behind him. He immediately turned.

Shards of glass were falling from the freshly-shattered window of a skyscraper. A soft, yellow glow glinted off the broken glass from somewhere inside the building.
There They were.
While the barely-visible flash of colour quickly vanished, faint clattering could be heard. CJ himself could barely hear it.

What he could make out clearly were yellow headlights suddenly appearing in another paneless window.

Piercing yellow eyes met his from only a couple hundred feet away.

Finally.
Despite at last getting what he wished for, CJ was completely petrified in terror. It didn't move, didn't even blink as it nailed him down with its gaze. CJ stared back, just as unmoving.

Without warning it slipped out of the window, catching itself with bladed wings that shimmered in the rare rays of moonlight. Still CJ didn't budge, only watching as it flew closer with uneven beats of its wings.

Mere moments after it took off, it landed only a few steps away from CJ. At such close proximity, he could make out much more of the creature's details. Its “hair” was clearly red, and its jacket looked like it too, although it was difficult to tell with the given lighting. Two deadly tails flicked back and forth behind it. Though its expression was unreadable, it looked…somewhat normal, bright oval eyes unchanging. It slowly stepped closer to CJ.

He continued his staring contest with it until it was staring directly down at him. At that point he held its gaze for only a moment longer before letting his head droop.
“Just…get it over with.” CJ sighed to the creature, despite his enormous doubts that it was even listening.

“Well, now I'm not going to.” An energetic, masculine voice responded.

Wait a robo-goddamn minute.

It talked. To him. Not only had it understood him, it responded to him. In English.

“W-what the fu—”

“Also, that's just sad!” It interrupted. “You came all the way out here hoping to get killed? Why?”

CJ was too confused to even think through how to answer the drone's questions. It—or rather, he—sounded like a male. Did They have genders, even?

“I—didn't know you could talk—” CJ stammered, taken aback by his entire situation.

“I can! Ooh, ooh, wanna see what else I can do? So you put your hands together like this and—”

“Stop—!” CJ blurted. He just wanted i—him to stop talking, at least not before he properly processed the situation.

“Okay…rude.” He pouted. “So…are you gonna answer my question, or…”

Honestly? Anything to make this guy shut up. It's not like he'll tell anyone important.

“My life kind of blows, okay? I don't want to talk about it all, but I had to break up with my crazy-ass girlfriend yesterday and she already tried to stab me and I don't want to know what she'll try next. Really just not a lot of reasons to not go looking for death.” CJ grumbled.

A brief silence.

“Your girlfriend kinda sucks, man.”

Despite the circumstances, that tore a chuckle out of CJ.

“Ex-girlfriend. And you have no idea.” He sighed. The drone in front of him felt so human, not like a mindless killing machine at all. He was smiling down at CJ as he spoke, looking delighted to be having this conversation.

“So…do you have a name?” He asked the yellow-eyed drone.

“Yeah! It's S, Serial Designation S. What's yours?”

CJ wasn't sure what he expected, if he even thought They would have names. A singular letter was a bit odd, but he would take it.

“CJ. Nice to meet you, S.”

Chapter Text

“I take it you don’t want to go back?”

That was an understatement. Not only would a certain someone be hunting him down as soon as he returned, what did he have to go back for? The family he didn’t have? His shitty teaching job? As if.

“Accurate.” CJ sighed. “Isn’t there more of whatever you are? Will—should I worry about them…?”

“Disassembly drone. I don’t think they’ll give you any trouble, they're—well, you’ll see.” S answered. “Anyway, I’ve never talked to a worker drone before! Tell me everything! What’s it like in your little bunker? What do you do all day? Do you have friends? Family?”

“Okay, slow down.” CJ interrupted. “I don’t think it’s as interesting as you think. We just…function like a normal society, I guess. As for friends, I’m not the one to ask about that.”

“Why not?” S queried. Robo-god, why was he so nosey?

“I kind of…don’t have any.”

“Except me, right?”

That took CJ by surprise. He met this guy less than an hour ago, hell, CJ had just realised that he wasn’t some animalistic murder machine. Did he already see him as a friend?

“What?” CJ questioned back.

“Sorry. It’s kind of lonely out here, and you seem like a cool dude, so…” S rambled, seeming slightly disappointed. Was he seriously feeling bad for this guy?

“Anyway!” S suddenly exclaimed. “We should be close to the…landing pod wreck thing. Courtesy of our amazing pilot M.” He explained sarcastically.

CJ had no idea who M was, but he supposed he would find out soon. About time, the two of them had been travelling for nearly half an hour, which wouldn’t bother him so much if S hadn’t said it would only take a few minutes.

Nothing seemed new about the environment when S suddenly exclaimed that they had arrived.

Without warning CJ was grabbed by the back of his jacket and lifted into the air. His first instinct was, of course, to scream in terror.

“WHAT THE FUCK?!” CJ screeched, frantically thrashing against the winged drone’s grip as if that wouldn’t land him dead on the ground.

“Holy—calm down!” S snapped.

CJ was too bewildered to notice that a large pit was positioned somewhat underneath another ruined building. S slowly descended into the dark space, still carrying CJ.

“M managed to crash us into the side of this building so well that the impact made this giant hole. I’m surprised we survived!”

Before CJ knew it he had been dropped back on the snowy ground. Down here it was almost too dark to make out anything. The automatic brightening of his vision barely accommodated.

“Believe me, if we could move out of here we could.” S suddenly spoke. “Anyways, here’s our home! If you can even see it.”

S quickly trotted forward into what looked like complete darkness to CJ, but he nevertheless followed.

“How the hell do you see anything in here?”

“I think my vision is better than yours. The pod is right here. Normally we have a light in there, but the flashlight we had just died.”

S, again, without warning, grabbed CJ’s wrist and yanked him along. He still couldn’t see, but the soft crunching of snow underfoot had been replaced with the clanking of metal. All that there was to illuminate the space was S’s eyes, tails, and…

Two sets of headlights.

A new voice suddenly echoed from somewhere in front of the two.

“S? M? You’re finally back! Took you long enough.”

“M’s not here.” S responded to the voice.

“Oh. Thank robo-god.” It snorted, followed by a clatter. “Then who else is there?”

S hesitated. “Um. Don’t freak out, but, uh…I found this worker dr—”

“Really?!” The voice instantly squealed. “And you brought it back alive? Why? For me?! I—”

“H! Chill!” S interrupted. “It talked to m—”

“I KNEW IT!” The voice, who CJ could determine belonged to someone named H, exclaimed. “I TOLD YOU they were just like us! And you didn’t listen! Oh my robo-god, that’s so cool!”

“Is it really…?” CJ mumbled, slightly dazed by the entire situation.

A small gasp, another clatter, and a few rapid footsteps later, CJ had been lifted off the ground by underneath his arms.

“HOLY. CRAP. WHY IS IT SO CUTE.”

“You can’t even see him!”

“WELL, I CAN TELL!” The new disassembly drone proclaimed. One of the few things CJ should have been able to see, his eyes, were not there. Instead his visor was occupied by what looked like an error pop-up. Strange. “What's its name?!”

“It's CJ! Can you put me down?!” CJ grumbled.

“Yes! Definitely! Of course!” H instantly let go of him, letting him fall to the floor less-than-gently. “Remember when I told you we should stop killing these guys? THIS IS WHY!”
“We don't have much of a choice! You know that!” S snapped back.

“I'm sure we could find another way!”

“Wait—what? What do you mean?” CJ questioned.

S and H hesitated.

“We need to consume worker drone oil, or we overheat. When that happens, honestly, I don't know. We explode or something.” H explained.

“...oh.”

That explained a lot.

A moment of quiet passed before a gruff, unfamiliar second voice interrupted the silence.

“I found another flashlight.”

Bright white light suddenly pierced the darkness, beaming from a cylindrical device held by yet another, unfamiliar yellow-eyed drone, this one with curly dark-blue hair similar to CJ's own. Its eyes widened upon noticing him.

“What is that?” It demanded. It sounded like yet another male.

“A worker? Come on, dingus, even I can tell.” H snapped back. CJ could now see that he had short, purple hair and a fluffy jacket.

“Yeah, okay, I can determine that much. Why is it here?”

“Why are you COMPLAINING?”

“I'm not! Unwarranted whining is your job! I'm just curious.”

“It's because HE TALKS and they PROBABLY ALL DO and I WAS RIGHT AND YOU WERE WRONG!”

“I never said you were wrong!”

The two of them continued bickering and getting absolutely nowhere for multiple minutes. S quietly sighed before interrupting their quarrel.

“ANYWAYS! We're adopting this guy.”

Both drones immediately froze.

“I beg your pardon?” The blue-haired drone spat.

“Okay, ‘adopting’ is a weird way to put it. He's staying with us.”

“I am?” CJ raised an eyebrow. He'd only told S that he wasn't going back, but…he supposed he wouldn't be against this. Though that might change depending on how much these other two really hate each other.

“Cool!” H exclaimed happily.

“Yeah, you would say that.” The blue-haired drone, presumably M, retorted.

“What does that even mean?”

“Oh, I wouldn't expect you to understand.”

“Oh my robo-god, you guys…”