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Br'aad was standing in front of Sylnan and Taxi. Both were sarcastically pretending as if they couldn't figure out what changed about the blonde.
"It's like... It's like you're glowing a different colour or something, I just-" said Sylnan with a smirk. He and Taxi were keeping up with the act for at least five minutes now.
"Oh no, that's good! Warmer, warmer, warmer!" Br'aad yelled out, already getting impatient.
He knew that they were joking, but deep down something was telling him that maybe they really didn't notice it at all. After all, it was just a tattoo colour change for them, something unusual, but could be easily brushed off. For Br'aad-it was his entire life, his soul back in his own hands. It meant that he was no longer a puppet of Ob'nockshai, his magic now flowing only from his heart. No more games that put his friend's and family's lives on the line. He was free.
"Wait, no, I've got it" Taxi said suddenly, his eyes squinting as he moved closer to Br'aad. He couldn't help, but smile a little.
"Okay, please, yes"
"You're happy"
It was the most honest thing that Taxi has ever said. Ever since Br'aad came back from his strange walk, he truly was glowing. And as always, Taxi admired it from afar. It was not even the tattoos that caught his eye. There was something so much more brighter in his smile. And it made him much more beautiful. It hasn't been long since Taxi has accepted his feelings for Br'aad. He tried denying it at first, but soon it became too much to handle. Always their gaze seemed to meet. Br'aad's eyes liked him for some reason, and it would cause the end of Taxi. The words "You're happy" were meant to say everything that Taxi was thinking. Things that he wanted to say, but were left unsaid.
"Your smile means everything to me"
"You look beautiful"
"I'm so grateful to have met you"
"I love you"
Br'aad was taken off guard. After all those jokes, he expected everything, but not that. An actual reply. He gasped.
"I am happy. I'm- This is good, this is so good. See, this isn't even what I thought you'd- That really isn't it but- haha, it's good!" he laughed, stunned by what Taxi said. This was very unlike Br'aad-he got embarrassed. His emotions did not have time to cool down after meeting the Storyteller, and this was like a final nail in his coffin. He could feel his cheeks burn.
Sylnan glared at Taxi, then at Br'aad, and furrowed his brows.
"Dope tatts" he muttered, noticing that the joke was over, and started walking away, leaving the pair alone.
-
Br'aad couldn't sleep. Maybe it was because the bedroll was more uncomfortable than ever. Maybe it was because...
He sat up, rubbing his eyes. Everyone around was sleeping. From what he gathered, Ander had already done his watch, and now Mountain was up. He wasn't much of a talker, but at least it was someone to keep him company. Br'aad slowly got up and quietly left the tent. Just right over was sitting Mountain with his back resting on a big oak. He had a warm smile on his face, petting his dog. Ever since he got Jak, he has been calm a lot more often. Br'aad came up to him and awkwardly sat right next to the dwarf.
"Ah! Br'aad. Don't sneak up like that to me" Moutain furrowed his brows and immediately got back to his usual, angry demeanour. They sat in silence for a while.
"So... What's bothering you?" Mountain asked, to the surprise of Br'aad.
"What? I just can't sleep, that's all..."
"Hm. Whatever you want to believe. But you're not very "Hi, my name is Br'aad!" lately" said Mountain, mocking the "usual Br'aad behaviour". It was quiet again for a while.
"Mountain, you had a wife, right?" asked Br'aad, breaking the silence between them.
"O-kay, this just got really personal. Well, since you're up, I can get back to sleep and you could finish my watch" he got up and beckoned Jak to leave with him.
"No wait, I'm sorry. I was just wondering. What... Was it like? You know, being with someone" the half-elf explained.
Mountain grimaced and sat back down on the grass. He pulled out his mead flask and took a big sip out of it.
"I don't like coming back to it, you know. Why do you ask?"
"I just... I've never been in a relationship. And it seems nice, right?" Br'aad asked looking down at the grass.
"Is that why you can't sleep?" Mountain laughed "You've got some weird worries. But yes. It's nice as hell"
Br'aad knew that he couldn't share everything he was worried about with him. Some of those things were his, and only his burden. And to add to that, he wasn't allowed to talk about it.
"I mean, you've surely been in love at least once?" Mountain asked.
"I guess so, yes" a few people went through Br'aad's head.
"It's a really weird ass feeling. But it's a whole lot fucking better when you're actually with someone. Hilda and I, we were together through thick and thin, even though we had our differences. Hell, she was the most calm person I knew on Earth" he continued, sometimes taking a moment to drink some more mead.
"So despite those differences... You made it work?"
"Hell yes, we did! That was what made it special. You do know you don't have to date someone that's the same as you? Oh Gods, two Br'aads. That would be insufferable. No offense of course"
"No! But..."
"Br'aad. Listen. I'm old. You're... Average? For a half-elf, I think? I don't fucking care. For me you're young. You don't know shit. No offense again"
"Thanks Mountain" muttered Br'aad.
"What I meant is, you don't have to worry about it. You have a lot ahead of you. And you surely won't have a problem finding a partner. And listen, I say it only because I'm drunk more than usual. You're a good guy. Really" the dwarf stretched his back. "This emotion talk is really tiring"
"It means a lot, thank you. If you're tired you can go, I think your shift is almost over"
"Thank fuck. It feels like it's been ages. Should I wake Velrisa up?" Mountain got up, and stretched again.
"If she doesn't mind. I'll go crazy if I don't have someone to talk to" said Br'aad, petting Jak goodbye.
"Alright" he started leaving, but quickly turned around "And by the way. I don't know what you did with your magic stuff, but something's different. For good I mean. I have no idea what the hell's that about, but keep that up"
Br'aad nodded and smiled, but as soon as Mountain disappeared into the tent, he put his head in his hands and sighed. All of his worries came back to him. He was truly happy, the happiest he's been in a long time, and it seemed too good to be true. He was scared, that everything would go away. That Ob'nockshai would come back, that the Storyteller would be no different from him, or worse. And the scariest thing of all-that somehow he would make his father, Brendon disappointed again. He shouldn't care, he was dead after all, but still-he saw him not long ago with his own eyes. Br'aad could feel every single emotion that existed. Something inside of his chest burned, and his head was pounding. The conversation with Mountain should've cheered him up. Br'aad cursed himself for always bottling his emotions and hiding them under a happy facade. It wad a bad habit of his, and because of that, there were times when all came crashing down for him.
"Mountain woke me up saying "Br'aad's up, and is talking feelings and shit. Go talk to him, have a nice shift". So what's that all about?" Velrisa giggled and sat down next to him. Br'aad's head shot up immediately.
"Vel, are you okay?" he immediately asked. It was a reflex.
"Wh- Br'aad... You've been acting strange since that fight. The question should be-are you okay?" the tiefling looked at him with concern.
He flinched. How could he answer? He saw her die, god damn it. And he isn't even allowed to talk about it so he doesn't disturb the flow of time. She turned to dust right in front of him, and he's the only one who remembers it. And every time he sees her, happy and alive, he can't help but remember this scene.
"I... I... It's- complicated" he said, his voice cracking. Br'aad took a deep breath. He couldn't cry, not now, he wasn't weak.
"Hey, hey, hey. It's okay. Come here" Velrisa opened her arms, inviting him for a hug. He grabbed onto her dress and rested his head on her chest. He could feel her heart beating.
"Thank gods, thank gods" he repeated over and over in his head. In his mind, there were millions of things to be happy about, but the worries were stronger. And they were circling around his head. His vision started to blur as tears formed in his eyes. Velrisa held him close to her.
"Is this about your... Weird guy?" she asked.
"Mhm..." Br'aad muttered into her dress.
"Wanna talk about it?"
"No" he lied. But that was for the better. "Can you tell me about your ghosts?"
"Sure. Liches are quite interesting. Their lairs are usually a place they favored in life" Velrisa started talking.
Recently they started doing it more often. One of them talked about their interests, while the other listened. It was something that brought them closer, and let them forget about whatever troubled them, at least for a while. Br'aad wiped his tears. Usually, he found Vel scary, but not now. Sure, she could be sometimes, however that's because she cared and didn't want anyone to get hurt. With such knowledge about death and the undead, it was no wonder.
"...really powerful spellcasters. Their strongest spell can basically kill you instantly. Could you imagine that? I wouldn't ever want to face something like that"
"Yeah. That sounds fucking scary" Br'aad sighed, still trying his hardest to not think about what happened.
-
They spent the rest of Velrisa's shift talking. Br'aad told her about his various performances in taverns, and Vel explained about helping souls return where they belong.
"Why did I get a shift just before Sylnan? He's impossible to wake up!" Velrisa complained.
"If he doesn't, you have my full permission to punch him. Goodnight Vel! Thanks for today" said Br'aad waving to her. Velrisa went into the tent, and soon after, Sylnan emerged.
"I know Velrisa said that you need company, but can't you take my shift today?" he groaned and yawned loudly.
"No way. You get to sit here and listen to my problems" Br'aad grinned, and patted the grass next to him, inviting Sylnan to sit.
"Come on... But I can't give advice!"
"True, your advice is often shitty, but..."
"Hey!" Sylnan nudged his brother with his elbow.
"But with one thing you can help. I think so at least" Br'aad took a deep breath, ignoring Sylnan.
He thought about everything that was on his mind. Indeed, there was one particular thing that Sylnan could give somewhat good advice on.
"I doubt it, but shoot" Sylnan laid flat down on the ground. He was ready to fall asleep as soon as Br'aad started talking. His brother noticed that, and punched him in the gut.
"Ouch!! That was unfair Br'aad!" he sat right back up, holding his stomach in pain.
"I barely touched you. Now you will listen. I think I'm in love" Br'aad said with a straight face.
"And somehow you thought I'd be the one to help you?" Sylnan laughed loudly.
"I mean, you were with Katheryne?"
"Br'aad. Just because I somehow pulled a goddess, doesn't mean I know how I did that. And you need help with men. I don't know shit about that!"
"Okay, but you also pulled Thardo!" Br'aad brought up the dragonborn.
"You- Do not. Bring that up. It was for the greater good." he said through his teeth. Br'aad giggled. He missed teasing his brother.
"Alright, alright, but should I confess? What do you think?
"First of all, I have too little information. Second of all, the last... ten times?" Sylnan counted to seven on his fingers "It didn't end well"
"Sylnan you're illiterate but you can count"
"IT WAS A JOKE YOU COWARD. IT WAS INTENTIONAL, I CAN COUNT"
"What is 7 times 3?" Br'aad asked, knowing damn well, that it would take him a couple of minutes to know if Sylnan answered right.
"Do you want this relationship advice or not?! Tell me something about the guy!" Sylnan avoided the question.
Br'aad considered telling him right away but decided it was funnier to let him figure it out on his own.
"Okay, to be fair he had a girlfriend at one point..."
"Don't." Sylnan interrupted.
"But! Let me finish!"
"Br'aad, once you tried to ask out a guy whose partner died literally a day prior"
"Okay, I must admit, that was just a littlee bit insensitive. But they're not together anymore! And she didn't die!"
Sylnan squinted his eyes.
"Sure. And he isn't like... A criminal? Or gang member?"
"No. He's the sweetest. Maybe sometimes too anxious. Oh, he's been to jail a couple of times, but that wasn't his fault. I helped him get out once!"
"What?!" Sylnan grew more and more concerned.
He wasn't a saint of course, but he knew what kind of people were a part of the Thieve's Guild back in the Wharf. And he didn't want his brother to be associated with them at all.
"Syl, let me explain"
"No, no, absolutely not. Criminals are scumbags. You should not be dating one."
"Sylnan, but you are a thief"
"So? I'm a scumbag! My point still stands!" he crossed his arms. When it came to the dating life of his younger brother he could be a little bit overprotective.
"Chill out it's just Taxi" Br'aad said, just to get this over with.
"Well that's a lot better. Hold on. Taxi?" Sylnan grimaced.
"Yes... What? What's with that look on your face? Don't you like Taxi? I don't need your approval by the way. I'll do what I want"
"I know you don't need my approval, you're an adult for gods sake. It's not that, it's just... Not to be rude, but what do you even see in him?"
"He's just... So amazing, and nice, and gods, have you seen him?
"Me, personally I don't get it, but at least that's easier to understand than the goblins"
Br'aad started frantically explaining himself. Sylnan just laughed. He truly wanted his brother to be happy. For him, it was to late. There was not much that can be done if your girlfriend is dead. And a goddess somehow. But for Br'aad there was still hope. He and Taxi were an unusual pair, but if it worked out for them, Sylnan wasn't going to be the one to step in the way of their relationship. And after giving it a second thought, he could really see them together, as a couple.
"...and I definitely regret that, but that wasn't my choice!" Br'aad finished his thought. They sat quietly for a while.
"I got off topic, but I still need that advice" he broke the silence.
"I mean... You should go ahead"
"Okay, but what if he doesn't like meee?" Br'aad overdramatically threw himself onto Sylnan.
"Br'aad, come on. I didn't see that you liked him, but he definitely has a thing for you. He isn't particularly good at hiding it" he pushed his brother off of him.
"For real? I didn't even notice it..."
"Because you're oblivious Br'aad. And if I'm wrong, you can... Take all my money? That's how sure I am about it" he said proudly, straightening his stance.
"Syl, you barely have any money. That means nothing. But I get it. If you're wrong, I'll just yell at you a lot" Br'aad promised.
"Sure loverboy. I hope it goes well for you" Sylnan winked.
"Oh fuck you!"
-
"Do not. Fall asleep. Asshole." Br'aad said right into Sylnan's ear. He noticed, that the other wasn't responding for a while, his eyes already getting heavier with every minute they spent talking.
"Ouch. I'm doing my best Br'aad..."
"At least don't sleep on the grass. I'm sure Taxi wouldn't mind waking up a little bit earlier for his shift" he smiled. Sylnan showed him a middle finger and without a word left him alone. He could hear some hushed voices from the tent for a while.
"Br'aad! You're awake! Sylnan didn't care to mention that" Taxi said, slightly angry.
"Hi Saxi! What happened?" the half-elf asked.
"Why did you let him go to bed early? He woke me up and was being all rude for no reason"
"Sorry... I just thought you wouldn't mind. Besides, Sylnan gets grumpy when he's tired" he sighed, embarrassed that his brother already managed to spoil Taxi's mood. Taxi sat next to him.
"I would mind if I was here alone. I'm glad you're awake" he smiled.
Br'aad sat in silence, contemplating what to say next. He felt his eyes get heavy, so he imediately shot up and aggressively grabbed Taxi by the shoulders.
"Talk to me so I don't fall asleep" he said. The tabaxi was a little bit surprised, but giggled anyways.
"What, am I really that boring? I just sat down"
"No, I've just been up for so long... And if I go to sleep now, it'll be hard to wake up for my shift"
"How long was it?" Taxi asked with concern.
"Well, I've been sitting out here since Mountain's shift..."
"Br'aad! You should go to sleep right away. You'll be too tired for tomorrow. What if you fall asleep when something important is happening?"
"But the shift..."
"I can take it for you" Taxi sighed trying his best to convince his friend to rest.
"Okay, but do you want to sit here for so long alone?" Br'aad tried to use puppy dog eyes against Taxi. Luckily for him-it worked.
"You got me there. You can stay"
The half-elf smiled and rested his head on the other's shoulder. Without a word, Taxi put his arm around him, his hand resting on Br'aad's waist. They looked at the stars.
"By the way, thank you for earlier Taxi. It meant a lot to me" he said randomly.
"What? What happened earlier?"
"You know, when you said I was happy"
"Oh. It's just, you looked happier than ever. I like seeing you happy" Taxi said nonchalantly, hiding the fact that he could hear his own heartbeat, because of how loud and fast it was.
"I didn't take you for such a romantic!" Br'aad laughed, trying to ignore the butterflies in his stomach.
"Well- It's not like that!" Taxi panicked.
"Ooh, you want me so bad it's painful"
"At least let me take you out for dinner first" he ran his paw through Br'aad's hair. He surprised himself with his unusual boldness.
"This feels different than just flirting as friends. This is not how friends act. Or am I just that painfully stupid?" Br'aad thought.
No one could make him as embarrassed as he was in Taxi's presence. For a while he considered his options. There was a lot he could lose. But if Sylnan was right (which he rarely was) it could really be good for both of them. He decided, that he didn't want to rot from being in love, not alone at least. This feeling was killing him from inside. No word could possibly explain how seemingly perfect Taxi was to him. He tried though, throughout different art forms. He tried writing poems and songs, he tried drawing and dancing, but nothing could show how he felt when they touched, how his heart sank every time their eyes met, and how glad he was to have him in his life.
Every time Br'aad saw flowers, he thought of him. And always it seemed like they bloomed only for Taxi. He wished to be one of the camellias, he wished that Taxi would look at him the same as those flowers.
He wanted to be loved.
He started paying attention to his surroundings again. None of them talked for a while. Taxi was in the middle of braiding Br'aad's hair.
"Sorry, I got lost in thought" he apologised.
"It's alright, I dont mind sitting in silence" Taxi said. He touched the ground, and imediately some daisies grew. He started to weave them into the braid he'd just done.
"I wish I could make flowers grow with my magic too" Br'aad sighed, running his hand through the daisies on the grass.
"Everyone's magic is different and personal"
"But it's not fully mine. It's his" he said, grimacing at the memory of Ob'nockshai.
"I don't believe that. Today, you proved that you are in control of it. At least it looked like it to me. All those new spells, and everything... It just seemed like real you, like Br'aad" said Taxi and presented the braid to him. His paw accidentally brushed against the other's neck. "Sorry" he whispered and moved slightly further away. Br'aad grabbed him by the hand.
"Now, or never" he thought quickly.
"I know I'm joking around a lot. But I am genuinely glad that you're here, that is you're travelling with us" he started.
"Oh? I am too, but why-"
"Shh, let me finish. I just wanted to say... Fuck this speech" every word, and every poem just flew away from his head.
"I'm so in love with you that it's sad at this point. I thought you should know that" he said quickly and looked down to avoid eye contact.
He just butchered this love confession completely. As a hopeless romantic he had millions of scenarios prepared for this, but in the end he let his emotions get better of him. Taxi clasped both of Br'aad's hands.
"Br'aad look at me"
"No, I... It was supposed to be all different and I was supposed to say so much and... Haha, I'm sorry" he nervously shaked his head. The tabaxi transferred his hands to the other's cheeks to look him deep in the eyes.
"Calm down. I don't think you need to say anything at all. You are... my everything, and I'm glad you feel the same way"
Hearing this, Br'aad teared up and hugged Taxi tightly. He sniffled into his fur, and laughed at the same time. He felt so stupid. Never in his life he thought that something so important as a confession of feelings could be so simple and imperfect. He preferred this one over all those perfect, fake ones he created in his head.
"Don't cry Br'aad" Taxi whispered, interlocking their hands.
"I'm just so happy, I can't even think about what I was worried about before, haha! Today has been a lot and it feels like I've got such a weight off my shoulders" he sobbed. Taxi smiled and held him closer to his chest.
"It's okay, just rest now. You don't have to unpack it all in one night"
Br'aad muttered something and positioned himself so he could lie on Taxi and still hold his hand. The tabaxi put his free arm around the half-elf, partly because he didn't want him to get cold, and partly because he wanted to stay close to him.
Just before Br'aad fell asleep he felt Taxi press a gentle kiss on the top of his head. He smiled.
That night Br'aad dreamed of flowers.