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Lucius had received a crow, not an owl, they used crows. A black one from Severus, a white one from Lucius. It wasn't common for them to send letters to each other, it wasn't common for them to see each other either. At least not since they were death eaters and much earlier when they were students.
Lucius opened the letter carefully, it had a black wax seal that he removed slowly so as not to damage it. Then he couldn't help a slight surprise as he read the contents of the paper.
A glass of wine... Street xxxx, 17:30.
Lucius burned the paper, Narcissa wasn't one to snoop, no one with an ounce of intelligence would, but still it felt wrong not to get rid of the evidence, not that she cared anyway, she knew. Narcissa always knew and never judged him or bothered with it, that's why he had married her out of a few other options. But he still wanted to give her a little more credit and save her the trouble.
It was cold and cloudy, Lucius didn't smoke often but he had a pipe among his things, maybe if everything went well they could use it together, some tobacco brought directly from Romania. It was five to the agreed time when Lucius opened the door of the place; it was a small bar, undoubtedly tasteful, something he liked about Snape was that, that even in the ordinariness of the everyday he could find some elegance.
He was there at the back, walls covered in gray tapestry with yellow lamps, warm and pleasant. Severus with his eternal black cloak, Lucius did not remember many instances in which he saw him without it, only when there was not much more clothes to wear, so many years ago when they were hiding somewhere and he could kiss his lips.
Severus looked nervous, frustrated, almost a little sad. Lucius sat down across from him.
“So," he said, putting his cane aside, "What is it, my dear?”
Snape didn't seem to pay any attention to Malfoy's slightly affectionate tone.
“I just wanted to have a drink... in the company of someone.”
“And I'm your best bet? You know I'm a bad drinker... That's why I don't do it.”
“Because you're a bad drinker is why I wanted you to come, so you wouldn't let me drown myself in whatever they sell here.”
“I'll join you for a glass of wine and nothing else.”
“Right.”
Malfoy ordered wine and Snape something a little stronger.
They spoke little, the meeting concise only in Snape having small sips and Lucius staring at nothing.
“How is Draco?” Lucius was a questionable person, but not a bad father. Or at least he didn't think he was, he had poured his love and dedication into his son.
“He's fine... He's a good student. Not the best, but not a bad one.”
“What does it take for him to be the best?”
“Patience.”
“I see...”
“And maybe a touch of modesty... He's chasing ghosts. Not literally, of course.”
“That's laughable coming from you.”
“Shut up.”
Lucius then tried to take his hand, to caress the torso with his fingers. He always liked Snape's hands, they were soft, almost delicate, his fingers were long and had some calluses. Snape was a good wizard, an excellent potionist; his hands had witnessed old spells, almost as old as time and also some new ones, some created from those tips. Potions, spells and the most pleasant moments of Malfoy's youth had been born there.
Snape removed his hand to pick up his glass again.
“I'm bored...”
“You didn't have to come, you know me well enough to know that sometimes I just don't want to do anything.”
“I didn't think this would be one of those days, I was hoping for at least some interesting conversation.”
“ We're not 16 anymore, anything new information that might provide you with pleasure has already been delivered. There's nothing new to tell you.”
“You can tell me everything again... I can pretend I don't know.”
“No, you can't and I don't want to talk to you about herbalism and how to make amortentia.”
Lucius then approached Snape's face. He liked it, he had always liked it very much; the shape of his nose and the color of his eyes. Snape was like his name, a man with severity but he also had a touch of distinction; of something else, something hidden that Lucius knew he had only shown to him.
He wanted to kiss him as before, on the banks of the forbidden forest, near the lake, under the stairs, in the astronomy tower, in the common room in the middle of the night when no one else was there.
“What does the amortentia smell like to you?" Snape asked, pulling away from Lucius and stopping him from kissing him.
“You.” He answered, annoyed.
“Ha” Snape let out, it wasn't a nice laugh, it was more of a reproach. “You should smell it like daffodils, because to me it's always smelled like lilies.”
Malfoy grabbed him by the collar with one hand and whipped his cane at the wall, very close to Snape's face, with the other.
“You're an idiot.”
“I always have been... And yet here you are.”
“Go to hell.”
“No Lucius, you don't curse. You don't swear... it doesn't suit you. You're better than that.”
“When it comes to you, I'm as mundane as you are.”
“Don't be. I don't deserve it.”
“It's not about whether you deserve it” He let him go. “It's about what I want to do.”
“You're worse than me..”.
“I know. I always have been.”
“It's one of your best qualities.”
“ ...”
“Narcissa, how is she?”
“She's not dead, so I guess that's good.”
“Screw you!” Snape slapped him. “Don't you dare, not with Lily.”
“Tell me, Snape, if she'd never existed, would you have loved me like that?”
“No...”
“I see... Thank you for the wine. I must be going.”
“Of course.”
Lucius had forgotten, he had nothing of Lily in his memory, he wanted nothing to do with her and that had worked against him this time. He should have remembered; it was her birthday.
He went to that spot, where she was buried next to James, a pair of fools. He hated them and was thankful they were dead. There were lilies, many placed on the grave. Snape would surely have brought them, Malfoy knew those graves were abandoned all year and anyone else would have put flowers next to James as well.
Malfoy kicked them off Lily's grave and went home.
“Did you go out for a drink?” Narcissa asked as she fixed her hair, ready for bed. The bed they shared was huge, big enough not to touch each other at all, but even so there were still days when they enjoyed keeping each other company, talking about this and that, and sometimes there was even some sex. He loved Narcissa in a very different way, she was his friend, his life partner, he cared for her and liked her too, but he knew that if he had had a choice, even after so many years, he would have married Snape, not her.
“Something like that...”
“You went to see Severus?”
“Is it that obvious?”
“No, but I know you very well. You're a fool my dear, today was Lily's birthday, surely it was a very...”
“Unpleasant.”
“Was it?”
“Yes.”
“Come here” She said, leaving the brush on the dressing table and sitting on the bed. Lucius sat down beside her and laid his head in Narcissa's lap. “You know that Snape and I aren't the best of friends. I mean, I used to like him as friend back then... I just need you to know that I don't mind this.”
“I know.”
“If after so many years you still care so much about him, you should try to convince him... Not to forget her, I don't think he can, but to move on. To let his love in the past and get out of that hole of misery.”
“How would you like to make him my second wife and have him help you cook dinner?” Lucius scoffed.
“Me cooking dinner? Don't be ridiculous... But, you can invite him over.”
“And you want to see us...? Narcissa didn't think you were a voyeur.”
She gave him a gentle smack on the head.
“Maybe if he saw the funny side of you he'd like you more.”
“Oh he saw it, years ago, and he still wouldn't stay.”
“Such a shame.”
“I know... Anyway, I'm tired.”
“Take a shower and come to bed.”
And there in the bathtub filled with hot water and fragrant herbs, Lucius let himself be wrapped in defeat and sadness.
Narcissa wondered how complicated it would be to give Snape amortentia, if Lucius wanted a second spouse, Narcissa was going to help him; by hook or by crook. She was tired of all this tragic drama, she shouldn't have to see her husband suffer like that and an old friend to continue sinking in misery. After all, that's what Lily would have wanted, for everyone to be happy. Right?