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Dick is spinning in circles, going faster and faster, not a care in the world. He's having so much fun, he doesn't notice Jason and Roy go zipping past him.
They're neck-to-neck, grinning wickedly at each other, arms pumping back and forth. Around the rink they go, laughing their heads off the entire time. Honestly, it scares Duke – well, it scares everyone. They've never seen Jason so happy before. Shudder.
Duke is sitting down next to Damian, because they both despise skating with a passion. Damian has his sketchbook out, but he's mostly watching his siblings skate around with a scowl. Duke is sipping a smoothie that he stole from Damian (who never noticed).
Tim is seated a couple of tables away, looking dreamily at Bernard, who's skating in loose, big circles. Duke looks away, mildly disgusted. Gag, romance.
Cass is gliding around the rink with the grace of a dolphin in the waves. As per usual. She does a few spins and zips past Jason and Roy, speeding up until she’s nothing but a blur.
Bruce is not having a lot of fun – sitting down and trying not to worry too much about his precious children flying face-first into the wall. It doesn't work, Duke can tell by the subtle way his shoulders tense up whenever Jason comes too close to the wall.
And maybe he's right to be worried, because two seconds later, Jason skates right into Roy and they slide across the floor, still cackling like idiots. Along the way, they ram right into Dick’s foot, and he also tumbles, skidding across the floor and landing face-first on the ice. Poor Bernard tries to skate out of the way, but he's never been good at this stuff, so he goes flying at the two, tripping over Jason's outstretched leg and flying face-first into the wall. Queue a very worried Tim.
He abandons his coffee (not even halfway empty, wow) and runs into the rink, sliding on the ice and skidding to a stop in front of Bernard.
“Are you okay?” Bernard is still a little shocked, rubbing his head. He blinks up at Tim.
“You good? Yeah, you're fine.” Jason pats Bernard roughly on the shoulder, snickering. Roy looks mildly amused, and the murderous expression in Tim's eyes could rival one of Jason's own.
“Dude, Tim is like, this close to killing you.” Roy gestures vaguely to Tim's face, holding back a laugh.
“I've already died… inside .” Jason glances at the crowd of people gathered around them. Bruce is somewhere in the back, trying his very best to reach his children. He is failing.
“Nice save,” Duke mutters, smirking despite the fact that Jason can't see or hear him.
Tim helps Bernard up, murmuring things in his ear. Bernard laughs and tousles Tim’s hair, and Tim gives him a jerky little smile, still glaring at Jason. Jason grins back, flashing his teeth, and Tim’s frown deepens. Bernard reaches over and plants a kiss on Tim’s cheek, which seems to brighten up the latter’s mood.
Roy turns to Jason, fake-gagging at the dreamy look on Tim’s face as he stares at Bernard. Jason snickers, and Damian shields his eyes.
The expression is quickly wiped off of Tim’s face as he notices a short old man stomping up to him, glaring. He isn’t wearing skates, like Tim, and he seems out of breath. He’s also gripping a briefcase. Dude… backpacks are allowed . You know that, right?
Jason frowns – this isn’t gonna end well.
The man stops right in front of Tim and Bernard, crossing his arms. “You guys should stop, y’know,” he huffs, as if they know what he’s talking about.
Tim smiles politely, “I’m not sure what you mean?”
The man looks somehow angrier. “You know, the whole, kissing thing.”
“…I’m just kissing my boyfriend,” Tim says slowly, as if the man is a child.
“Yes. Stop that!”
“Why should I?” Bernard answers.
“It’s disgusting!”
Okay, Jason sighs, this is getting annoying. “Hey, ass-face, look over here.”
The man turns around, and Jason grabs Roy by the collar, pulling him in and kissing him straight on the goddamn lips. Roy barely has time to look surprised before the man goes batshit.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing? Do you know who I am?”
Jason doesn’t answer, still kissing Roy. Ew, now there’s some tongue involved. Roy is blushing bright red, totally enjoying the attention. Duke shields his eyes, gagging. Tim also looks mildly disgusted, and Bernard is just amused.
“Do you know who I am?” The man says again. Like, they hear you, dude. Chill out.
Tim rolls his eyes. “Do you know who I am?”
“You – you’re – shut up!”
By this time, Dick has gotten up from his position on the floor and made his way over to the man. He puts a hand on his shoulder, earning a giant flinch as the man jumps backward. “Who the hell–”
“Dick Grayson, nice to meet you. That’s Tim Drake-Wayne, my brother. Y’know, the CEO of Wayne Enterprises?”
The man blanches. “ Him? Really?”
“Yeah, him.” Dick looks smug, but Jason can see (hear, really – his eyesight is being taken up by a certain redhead’s face) the annoyance rolling off of him like waves.
“Well, I – I don’t care!” The man says, sounding like he really, really cares. “This, this gay stuff is sickening to see!”
At that, he reaches into his briefcase and pulls out a fucking – taser? How did he get a taser in there? Whatever, this is Gotham. People get arrested for following the traffic laws in Gotham. This isn’t the weirdest thing any of the kids have seen.
He brandishes the weapon, pointing it at all the kids. Scowling, Jason pulls away from Roy and steps protectively in front of him. Roy smirks, because he knows that the man can’t do anything to them.
Well, he was wrong. Because the man accidentally hits the trigger, and the darts dig into Dick’s chest.
Dick falls to the ground, twitching and groaning like the dramatic fuck he is. Jason rolls his eyes, because these are far from the strongest tasers he’s seen. Then he realizes that he has to pretend to be worried, so he gasps loudly and slaps his hand over his mouth, anime girl style.
Tim’s eyebrow twitches upwards but he also does an okay job of acting horrified. Bernard is probably genuinely concerned, and he looks like it. Duke and Damian snicker. Bruce is still trying to get to the group. Cass is MIA, but that’s normal for her.
A full minute later, Dick goes still, closing his eyes and sighing dramatically. Jason decides to finally do something, and steps forward, ripping the taser out of the man’s grip easily and crushing it with one hand. It probably shocks him, he doesn’t feel it. He does his best to look furious, despite Dick’s “unconscious” body two feet away from him. Hey, wait – unconscious people aren't supposed to smirk!
“Hey–!” The man backs away, reaching into his pocket. Jason steps forward.
“What’s in the pocket?” He sounds casual, almost light-hearted. He smirks as the man fumbles.
“N-nothing!” The man stumbles backwards further, tripping on the ice.
He backs up right into Tim.
Tim holds his hands out to catch himself as he trips, and nearly falls. Bernard had abandoned him to crouch down next to Dick, but when he sees Tim stumble, he straightens up. However, he quickly freezes as the man presses the cold muzzle of a gun against the side of Tim’s head.
The room goes silent. Even the crowd has stopped murmuring to each other. The guy’s hand is shaking as he clicks off the safety. Tim flinches at the sound – he makes a very convincing “panicked civilian”.
Jason’s face darkens, because nobody gets to point a gun at his siblings except for him!
Damian bristles, but not because he cares or anything. Of course not! That’s ridiculous.
Duke narrows his eyes, and the lights flicker a little. Oops, he didn’t mean to do that.
Dick – well, he’s still pretending to be unconscious.
Bruce is currently going crazy, pushing past the crowd and stopping at the front, looking very much like a concerned father. Jason nearly lets out a snicker at the sight of his face, but holds back because that wouldn’t be very worried brother-like of him.
“Put the gun down,” Jason says, voice low and dangerous. The man flinches at the sound. Maybe he’s finally realizing that guns aren’t allowed in the rink? Like, please take this outside, sir!
“I - I won’t!” His finger tightens on the trigger.
Okay, that’s not good. Jason glances at Tim, who stares back and mouths something.
On three.
He stares back, because what? What is he supposed to do?
One. The man presses the gun harder against Tim’s head. To be extra, Jason guesses. Duke snickers – this guy is honestly the stupidest criminal he’s seen. Honestly, it doesn't even seem like he's a criminal – just an old man with a temper.
Two. Tim looks at Dick, who’s sitting up, rubbing his head and frowning. He nearly rolls his eyes.
Three.
Suddenly, three things happen at once.
One, Bruce finally breaks through the crowd, screaming “Timothy!”
Two, Bernard throws a roller skate at the guy’s head.
Three, Jason snatches the gun right out of his hand. It goes off and hits the wall somewhere behind him.
The skate hits the dude straight in the face, bouncing off his nose with a very satisfying snap. He drops to the ground, seemingly unconscious, and Tim follows him (except he is perfectly conscious and just being extra). Dick smirks and Jason lets out a cheer, high fiving Bernard.
“Y'know, Bernie,” he says conversationally, as the crowd around them erupts into chaos. “Maybe you're not as goofy as I thought.”
Bernard grins. “Thanks! Wait, what?”
Meanwhile, Cass appears above Tim, frowning disappointedly. "Bad form," is all she says. Tim pouts, pushing himself up.
"Cut me some slack. It's hard to act like a scared civilian and also maintain good form while surrounded by the biggest idiots I've ever met..."
"I heard that," Dick yells from a few feet behind. Jason just smirks, slapping Dick upside the head.
"Yeah, Dickhead, that's what he was aiming for."
"Fuck you!"
"Language."
"Sorry, Cass. But Jason really... uh, fiddles my sticks."
"What the f...rick does that even mean?"
Damian glares at his family (not family, just unavoidable annoyances) and them turns to Duke, the only sensible one in this family.
He takes it back. Duke is currently snorting his smoothie out through his nostrils as Dick makes wild gesticulations, probably attempting to explain what his weird old-person phrase means.
...He (loves) hates his family.