Chapter Text
Without create, Tubbo was nothing.
He was completely useless, completely without purpose. He was a hammer without a nail, a sky without the sun, a fish without water. Nothing he could do now would get people to like him as much as they had before.
And even though the days passed like hell, Tubbo had been able to find a way to distract himself. He lost himself working on Fobo, because working was the one thing he did well. And hanging out with Foolish was nice as well, but he couldn’t tell if the totem was just working with him to be nice or not, especially after what he had heard Fit tell him. The way he sounded like Tubbo wasn’t worth working with.
Tubbo really did work hard to try and show that he was worth something, even without create. It just didn’t ever seem like enough. He wasn’t enough anymore, not for anyone. Not even for himself. Not even for Sunny. Sometimes he wondered if he had ever been enough.
He just needed to work harder, he told himself. He needed to do something, just to prove that he was worth keeping around. Because in time, everyone would start to realize. And then he’d truly be alone.
So he worked harder. He ground his teeth and he stayed up all night. He skipped meals and devoted every second he had to making sure things were perfect. He collected as many bounties as he could. The dungeon bounties were always the best.
And right now, written on the clipboard right in front of him like an invitation, was probably one of the most OP dungeon bounties Tubbo had ever seen. And sure, it was around 6000 blocks away, in the middle of the night and probably super dangerous, but the reward would totally be worth it. It would give him almost enough coins to buy create back.
He needed it. No matter how stupid it was, he needed to complete this. He needed create, because without it, he was worth nothing to anyone and he didn’t need to hear people say it to know it was true. He had to prove himself, to Fit and Pac, to convince them that he was worth keeping around. And he had to prove to Foolish that he was worth working with, because sooner or later the totem would realize that as well. And then they would all give up on him, leave him to rot, because the only thing Tubbo was good at was the one thing he couldn’t do anymore, and the one reason people had needed him was just as dead as love. And Tubbo needed to be needed.
So despite the danger, Tubbo made sure Sunny was asleep, packed his shit up, and traveled 6,000 blocks. Alone.
He rode on the fastest horse he had. The thoughts blinded his perception of reality, and maybe the thought that he could die was there but he completely chose to ignore it, like a wad of gum someone would walk past on a sidewalk. All he saw in his mind were metal cogs and pipes and gears as he rode underneath the moonlight, beams of light illuminating a quickly moving shadow on a horse.
Finally, after a while, he could see the dungeon in the distance, a large airship long forgotten in the sky. No one knew how those ships got there, and no one bothered to care at all. All that mattered was the treasures for some, but others just enjoyed the feeling of fighting the bloodthirsty creatures that protected them, watching mangled creature bodies lifelessly fall on the ground. Tubbo just wanted the money.
The airship had a long metal ladder to enter it, and Tubbo gripped it tightly as he used the strength he had to pull himself up, rung by rung. It would have been easier with help, with another person to go with him, but Tubbo didn’t feel the need to bother anyone. This was for him and him only, because he had already asked so many people for help and he could sense they were starting to get tired of him.
The climb was a little bit tough, and for a slight second he considered giving up on a task which was way too difficult for him to manage alone, but he told himself to at least try. Giving up wasn’t going to get him anywhere. It wasn’t going to give him purpose.
Tubbo could hear the screeches of the monsters almost as soon as he managed to pull himself onto the main platform. It was a little unsettling, a little bit terrifying. It made his blood run cold.
It’s nothing compared to what purgatory was like, Tubbo told himself. He’d be fine, he just needed to fight. He pulled a weapon of choice out of his inventory, ignoring the shaking of his hands as he held it out in front of him, and entered the small door leading to the dungeon. It was dark, really dark. He could barely see in front of him and ended up almost tripping on a discarded violin on the floor. He ventured on anyway, welcoming the darkness like a long-lost friend.
That was his mistake. He’d barely made it a few yards before there were things attacking him from every side. Something with claws leapt at him from behind and dug those said claws into his flesh, sending burning pain shooting down his back. He could feel the blood dripping. It hurt, bad, as he twisted himself around, rolling onto his side and impaling whatever had attacked him. He could hear it let out a loud shriek, then fall silent.
He didn’t even dare to look as he pushed himself back to his feet, wobbling slightly, and breathing heavily. It was only a few seconds before something else was on him, this one, whatever it was, with a sword. He tried his best to fight back as the thing’s swords sliced at him, cutting into his arms and barely missing his heart. Despite his struggles, Tubbo managed to knock the mob’s sword away from it, sending clashing to the ground.
The thing turned towards him and hissed loudly, hitting him with a blow that sent him flying across the room and landing on his back. Tubbo rushed to get up, ignoring a pain in his ribcage from the impact, and ran across the room, finishing the creature off before it could pick up its weapon.
Tubbo panted heavily as he pulled his sword back out, which dripped with a sort of black goo that he really did not want to think about right now. He clutched his side. Pain throbbed with each breath he took, and his ribs were most likely broken, but he ignored it.
Mobs came at him from every side, and Tubbo struggled greater with each one. He was knocked around in every which way, each fight leaving him with more and more injuries. At that point, giving up would be the best option but he wasn’t thinking.
By the end of it all Tubbo staggered, stumbling as he walked. He leaned on a wall, almost covered in his own blood, as he scanned the room for more mobs. There was one more in the corner which didn’t seem to notice him. He could probably take it.
Stumbling, Tubbo made his way towards it as quickly and quietly as he could and immediately regretted his decision. The creature, something with gray scales, whipped around before he could even get close and stared down at him with empty void-like eyes. It hissed, opening its mouth to reveal countless sharp teeth, sending a gust of air at Tubbo and the young inventor knew he was completely fucked.
He turned to run, but the monster lunged at him, knocking him to the ground. His weapon clattered to the floor, out of reach. He managed to move out the way before the mob could sink its teeth into him, pushing himself up and making a run for it.
“FUCK!” Tubbo yelled, as he scrambled to safety. He was only able to get a few yards away before his legs gave in but crawled the rest of the way until he found an opening in the corner, a spot small enough for him to hide in. He curled up as far inside the opening as he could get, squeezing his eyes shut as the creature attempted to claw its way to him, making a harsh scraping sound as its claws scratched against the metal.
Finally, the thing gave up, becoming disinterested in him and walking away. Tubbo breathed heavily, every wheeze sending pain seeping through his chest. Ignoring the pain from his wounds he ran a bloody hand across his face before going limp against the cold metal.
He wasn’t able to fight off the one monster. Just that one had been enough to almost kill him. He wondered, faintly, why he hadn’t let it. No wonder everyone thought he was so useless, he couldn’t even complete a dungeon on his own. Tubbo leaned his head on the wall and closed his eyes.
He didn’t care whether he lived or died.