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Chaos theory states that a butterfly flapping its wings will cause a hurricane on the other side of the world.
Of course, that’s nonsense. A butterfly cannot affect the air currents so much as to create that much devastation.
Now, a coin flip on the other hand…
And it’s tails! Class 1-A will be the first scarers!
Togaru Kamakiri slides into his seat at lunch, letting out a sigh. Forlornly, he picks up his utensils, toying at the meat on his plate with his fork.
“What’s got you down?” Itsuka Kendo asks.
Sen Kaibara looks up from his own meal and shrugs. “He’s been like that since the training camp. Probably something to do with All Might retiring.”
Setsuna Tokage shakes her head. “I’m telling you guys, it’s lovesickness. He met a girl.”
“And we keep telling you that we would believe that,” Shoda says, “if Kamakiri had a single romantic bone in his body. Quite frankly, I’m inclined to believe that he wouldn’t be interested in a girl unless she tried to stab him.”
Kendo stops. “Wait wait wait,” she says, waving her hands. “Hold on. Kamakiri, tell me this isn’t about that girl?”
Kamakiri sighs, looking off into the distance with a dreamy expression on his face. “You remember her too?”
“Remember her?” Kendo asks. “She tried to stab me!”
Kamakiri grows a dopey smiles. “She did, didn’t she?”
“ She tried to stab you! ” Kendo stresses.
Kamakiri sighs, his expression somehow getting even more love sick. “The moonlight reflecting off her pale skin as she leaped through the air, her body the picture of lithe grace…”
“Kamakiri,” Kendo says, slowly, “Himiko Toga is wanted for twenty three counts of aggravated assault. It’s a miracle she doesn’t yet have a murder charge.”
“You know her name?” Kamakiri asks, suddenly refocusing on the conversation. “Can you introduce us?”
“We had a whole lecture about how you need to be careful because she has a shape-shifting quirk!”
“Himiko Kamakiri…” Kamakiri says, trailing off, before shaking his head. “No, no-”
“Oh, thank god, you see how insane this is,” Kendo starts-
“-Togaru Toga,” Kamakiri says, nodding with a satisfied expression. “That sounds better.”
“You know what,” Kendo says, picking up her tray. “Fuck it. I’m done. If she stabs you you deserve it and honestly you would probably have fun.”
With that, the orange haired class representative gets up and takes away her tray, leaving her classmates.
Tetsutetsu grins, leaning in conspiratorially. “Do you guys know what this means?”
“What?” Tokage grins back, leaning in to confer with her friend.
“We have to be the best wingmen ever,” Tetsutetsu says in a low tone.
“That’s sexist,” Tokage says.
Tetsutetsu nods. “Wingwomen.”
Tokage raises an eyebrow. “That’s misandrist?”
“Wingpeople,” Tetsutetsu says. “We’ll be the best wingpeople ever,” he repeats, nodding confidently, and Tokage nods back.
“Best wingpeople ever.”
Dabi slams open the door to the dingy apartment that the League of Villains set up in and walks in. As he closes the door behind him, he drops a bunch of plastic bags on the night table. On the adjacent couch, Himiko Toga sits up, looking expectantly. “I got a bandanna for you, Twice,” he says, addressing the other man, “But couldn’t find any blood. Sorry, Toga,” he adds as he passes through the front entrance into the dirty kitchen.
“Awwwww…” Toga says, frowning as she collapses back onto the couch with a groan. “I’m gonna have to break into my last vial of Togaru’s blood!”
“Togaru?” Spinner asks from the corner where he was sharpening his blade. He and Twice were both sat around a table, the Stain-themed villain sharpening a sword as Twice played a game with a deck of cards.
“Yeah, Togaru!” Toga says, holding her fingers up above her in a heart shape. “He’s this guy I met! He’s so cute and his blood is so pretty-” she starts.
“Look, I don’t want to hear about some teen romance,” Dabi calls from the kitchen. “Plus, this guy’s a hero student. No way it ends well.”
“-and when he fights it’s like he’s dancing through the air but actually the air is knives and his body is knives and it’s so bloody and-” Toga continues, ignoring her scarred friend.
“That sounds so romantic! This guy seems like an asshole! ” Twice says, stopping his game of solitaire.
“Wait,” Dabi says, reappearing with a bottle of beer. “Is this that guy with the knife quirk?”
Toga stares at the ceiling, hearts practically appearing. “Isn’t so romantic? ”
Dabi pauses. “I take it back,” he says, taking a swig from his beer. “This is going to be fucking hilarious.”
One week later…
Midoriya crouches, calling up the familiar veil of One for All around him. “No, you’re not the Uraraka I know,” he says to the imposter.
The Licensing Exam was difficult, sure; more difficult after the Ketsubutsu student split the earth and spread out Class 1-A. But Midoriya trained with Shoot Style and he wasn’t about to let this girl get the drop on him that easily.
The girl stares back at him before her form slowly begins melting away. “You knew… But saved me anyway? Hoping to use me to your own advantage somehow?”
“What?” Midoriya asks. “Nah, I wasn’t thinking that far ahead, but it’s a good thing I still acted-”
“Just like my beloved Togaru!” the girl says, a smile breaking out across her face. “He’s so valiant and heroic!”
Midoriya pauses, straightening up. “...Togaru Kamakiri? From Class 1-B?”
“You know him?” the girl asks, eyes wide. “Can you give him my number?”
Midoriya blinks in confusion and the girl disappears, blurring into movement, before reappearing-
Right in front of him?
“Here’s my phone number!” she says, pressing the piece of paper into Midoriya’s hand. “Give it to him as soon as you can?”
Midoriya stares at the number in confusion, little hearts drawn all around the digits. “He’s heroic?” Midoriya asks, casting his mind back to the few experiences he had with the other boy. “...Are you sure we’re talking about the same Kamakiri?”
Violent, abrasive, and dangerous were words that Midoriya would use to describe Kamakiri, but heroic?
Kamakiri, heroic?
“Yep!” the girl says, nodding. “Alright, I’ve got to-”
Tape shoots down from above, separating the two of them.
“Midoriya!” Sero calls from up above. “What’s going on here? I’m a little jealous!”
“Sero!” Midoriya calls back in relief.
“Uraraka, now!” Sero yells, and the gravity-controlling heroine leaps at the other girl.
The girl jumps out of the way, landing on top of a nearby pile of rubble. “And things were just getting good…” she pouts. “Too bad! Really, for real! I wanted to talk more about Togaru with you!”
Sero and Uraraka both look at each other. “The guy from 1-B?” Sero asks.
“He’s just so heroic!” their enemy gushes.
Sero and Uraraka both look at each other again. “Midoriya, is she talking about-”
“Yes,” Midoriya says. “I’m as confused as you are.”
“Okay, buh-bye now!” their enemy says, smiling, and Midoriya curses himself for taking his eyes off their enemy. “Don’t forget to give him that number, Midoriya!”
And with that she backflips behind the rubble and disappears.
“...What?” Uraraka asks, staring at where the girl just was.
“We’re sure she meant the Kamakiri from this year’s 1-B?” Sero asks. “Maybe there was a different guy last year and that’s who she’s talking about?”
Midoriya slaps his cheeks. “Focus! Guys, we need a plan.”
Sero nods. “Right! What’re you thinking, Midoriya? We find him in the lunchroom, or-”
Uraraka slaps the back of Sero’s head.
“Right, right, pass the licensing exam, not find Kamakiri,” Sero says. “What’ve you got, Midoriya? Lay it on us.”
Midoriya gathers the two close. “I’m thinking that it goes like this…”
Another week later…
Dabi slurps his drink loudly. “Why, exactly, am I here?”
“Sh!” Spinner says, grabbing the scarred man and Twice and yanking them behind a nearby bush. The Kiyashi Ward Shopping Mall’s food court was a perfect first date spot; plenty of options for meals, a bustling crowd, and lots of shrubbery-based hiding options.
“We’re here to make sure Toga’s date goes great!” Twice says, before immediately deciding, “ It’s going to suck! ”
“You’re here,” Spinner explains, “because Mr. Compress and Magne are busy, Shigaraki was too busy playing video games, and we need a third person.”
Dabi raises an eyebrow. “For what?”
Spinner slaps his forehead. “For Toga’s date-” he stops and whirls around on the older man. “Have you not been paying attention all week? She’s been giggling about it constantly!”
“Whenever one of you chucklefucks begins talking about something I tune you out and start thinking about burning Endeavor alive,” Dabi explains.
“That makes a lot of sense,” Spinner decides, “but also you should probably see a therapist about that.”
“Tried that,” Dabi says, before he takes a big slurp of his drink. “I ended up burning them alive so that nobody knows about my plans for a campaign of systematic terror and vengeance wreaked upon Endeavor.”
“See, that only makes me think you need a therapist more,” Spinner responds, before Twice shushes both of them.
“Look! There they are, they’re so cute! They look horrible together! ”
Dabi grins, pulling out a ziplock baggie of popcorn. “This is going to be hilarious.”
“Are you rooting for or against Toga?” Spinner asks.
“I’m rooting for whichever answer ends in more property damage,” Dabi responds, throwing a handful of his snack in his mouth. “Which seems to be them getting together, actually.”
Spinner thinks it through. “Fair enough, actually.”
Meanwhile, across the food court…
“Why, exactly, am I here?” Kendo asks her two friends.
Her friends that she was seriously contemplating dragging to Hound Dog, because they had taken all leave of their mental senses.
Tetsutetsu smiles toothily. “You’re here to help us get Kamakiri and Toga together!”
Tokage grins. “They’re going to be so cute together!”
“But I don’t want them to get together,” Kendo says.
Her two friends stare at her and she elaborates.
“Because someone will get stabbed.”
Her two friends continue staring, still confused.
“Which is bad, because we’re heroes, and we don’t like stabbing.”
“Kamakiri likes it, if you know what I mean,” Tokage says, and she and Tetsutetsu fist bump.
Kendo pinches her brow. “No, I’m not helping you get Kamakiri and Toga together. I’m also not going to stop you, because despite all appearances otherwise Kamakiri does have a decent head on his shoulder, but I’m not helping you.”
“That’s even better!” Tokage says, smiling with pointed teeth. “That just means you can be our albatross man!”
Tetsutetsu nods sagely. “Just keeps it more real.”
Kendo opens her mouth, stops, closes it, and then reopens it. “I am frightened and concerned to hear what you think an albatross man is.”
“You serve as the albatross around Kamakiri’s neck to bring him down and make him look humble!” Tokage says.
Tetsutetsu nods, grinning.
Kendo once again pinches her brow. “I’m not sabotaging Kamakiri’s relationship just because I disagree with it.”
Tokage smirks cheekily. “Well, you could say that by not helping us give Kamakiri his best shot, really, aren’t you sabotaging it that way?”
Kendo sighs. “Set-”
Tetsutetsu gives her puppy dog eyes.
Kendo rolls her eyes. “Fine. What’s the plan?”
Meanwhile, across the food court…
“Ashido-” Midoriya asks.
“Shh!” the pink skinned girl says. “We can’t let them know we’re here.”
“Where exactly is here?” Midoriya asks, voice getting more and more high pitched. “I was talking to Uraraka about that weird encounter I had at the Licensing Exam and then you told me to come to the mall today? What are we doing here?”
“We,” Yuga Aoyama says, draping an arm around Midoriya’s shoulders, “are love detectives, mon ami. Les détectives d'amour. ”
“...What?” Midoriya asks.
“Exactly, my dear Aoyama!” Ashido says, pulling out a deerstalker hat and fake pipe. “It’s up to us to find out who, exactly, the mysterious girl that wants to date our Kamakiri is!”
“We literally had an assembly about this,” Midoriya says. “It’s-”
Ashido puts a hand over Midoriya’s mouth. “Up bup bup! Do not spoil the surprise, dear assistant!”
“Oui!” Aoyama says, striking a pose. Somewhere along the line he also got a deerstalker hat, except his was bedazzled with fake rhinestones and glitter. “It is up to us détectives to solve the mystery, not our teachers!”
“Midoriya…” Ashido says, pouting at the green haired boy in just the way that made his stomach do a jumpflip. Midoriya sighs and takes his proffered deerstalker.
God, the things he does for his crush sometimes.
“So what’s the plan, madame detective?” Midoriya asks, snuggly fitting the hat on his head.
“Subtlety, my dear Midori,” Ashido says with a conspiratorial smirk. “Subtlety.”
Aoyama strikes a pose.
Midoriya has reservations about this plan.
Meanwhile, across the food court…
“What are you doing?” Seiji Shishikura asks the girl crouching behind a bush, peering through the branches.
That’s when Inasa Yoarashi tackles him.
“We’re trying to be subtle!” Yoarashi belts out, a massive grin painted across his face.
“Operative word being ‘trying’, I see,” Shishikura grits out, slowly sitting back up and rubbing his forehead. “Utsushimi, what are you two doing?”
“See, that girl over there?” Utsushimi says, pointing through a gap in the bushes. Shishikura nods.
“She’s the girl that impersonated Camie during the licensing exam!” Yoarashi belts out.
Shishikura seriously considers wrapping the other boy into a meatball.
“Try to keep it down,” he stresses, “if this is supposed to be a stealthy period. Utsushimi, how do you know that that’s her?”
“I just totes do~” Utsushimi says, winking. “100%.”
Shishikura pinches his brow. “And what are your plans at this junction? Arrest the girl?”
“Nope!” Utsushimi says. “Looks like the two of them make a cute couple, like totally 100% adorbs.”
“So?”
“So we’re going to help them date, with all the hot-blooded passion of a hero!” Yoarashi laughs.
“Ah,” Shishikura says. “How foolish of me to expect anything less.”
“And you’re going to help!” Utsushimi says, grinning.
Shishikura considers his chances of running. “Do I have to?”
Yoarashi beams. “Yep!”
Shishikura voices his thoughts. “Shit.”
I could describe the general chaos that follows Toga and Kamakiri’s first date.
I could talk about the villain attacks, the chaos, the fighting, the in-fighting between four groups of spectators, all of that.
But the important part is near the end, where Toga and Kamakiri stand together, ready to face off against the Super-Nomu before it can destroy Japan, and Toga asks, “Did you have fun today?”
And Kamakiri grins, swiping some blood off Toga’s face, and leans in close.
“Yep,” he whispers, and they kiss.
They both taste like blood and scratches and sweat and tiredness but for them, that moment, it was all they ever wanted in someone else.
And that’s a pretty damn sweet thing.