Chapter Text
“i keep waiting for the other shoe to drop.”
will solace hums in response. “that’s pretty much normal. this is the best it gets, speaking as a doctor.”
“no, but-” jason struggles. “i’m breaking the most important rule to ever exist. there’s no way i don’t get picked up and flicked back downstairs.”
“it’s only been two days,” nico says. “i mean, you might, but i doubt it. regardless, it’ll take a while for the feeling to fade - maybe you should talk to hazel about it. she felt the same way.”
jason stares across from the pavillon at the basketball court, where his best friend is playing ball with percy jackson and losing horribly. he doesn’t notice will and nico exchange a look.
will clears his throat. “i’ll, uh, be at the infirmary, okay? i have to check in on harley. it’s- don’t even ask what he’s done this time.” jason nods at him and watches, fond, as will leans over the table and presses a kiss to nico’s forehead before leaving. nico’s neck turns red.
jason and nico sit in comfortable silence for a while, jason’s attention on the basketball court again. leo valdez is basically throwing a tantrum, collapsing onto the court and yelling as percy laughs and dribbles the ball too close to his head. jason’s ears twitch when nico finally speaks.
“you’re different.”
jason lolls his head towards nico, beside him. “so are you. it’s called growing up. changing. part of life.”
nico rolls his eyes. “you know what i mean. since you came back - you’re different. you feel different?”
jason’s eyes lower to the table, gaze tracing the cracks in the marble as he thinks. “yeah. i don’t know how to describe it - it feels like i shed something back there, like armor. i don’t know if that’s good or bad. i feel lighter, but more vulnerable.”
nico hums. him and will are getting similar, jason thinks. signs of successful love. “did you know percy had the achilles’ curse?”
jason raises an eyebrow. “skin of steel and everything? seriously?”
“yeah. i convinced him to do it since kronos - luke - did it too. dipped himself completely in the styx and came out almost invincible.”
“that’s… wow.”
“yeah. my point is, percy says the same thing about his curse being lifted. he lost it when he had to pass through the little tiber.” nico bumps his shoulder against jason, and jason warms at the casual physical contact. “you’ve been purified. nothing like death to wash you clean.”
nothing like death to wash you clean. jason frowns as he feels his head nods slowly in understanding. they both watch the boys at the basketball court now, percy having joined leo on the floor. “you know,” jason says, “i’m getting more and more of my memory back, stuff juno never returned to me the first time around. but funny thing - i don’t remember the journey up at all.”
that was a lie - jason does remember bits and pieces. he remembers being yanked from the soft grass and eternal sunshine, thrust into a dark cave. everything is a hazy dream, but he remembers panicking for a minute - he remembers anticipating leo turning back towards him, because he could (almost - a burning ball of fire flashes through his mind) always anticipate what leo would do, because he knew leo better than anyone. he remembers scrambling to stay at leo’s back, and remembers leo yelling desperately. he doesn’t say any of this - he lies, because he wants to hear it from nico. he wants to hear the whole story again, as if it’s another myth, another ancient story, as if he and leo are heroes and not teenage boys. as if this was bound to happen, a rare, glowing little piece of a happy ending spun by the fates.
“well, - there’s not much i can tell you. i wasn’t there with leo. bringing you back up was his quest alone.”
jason tries not to let his face fall, but nico must see right through him.
“it’s…” nico starts, slow and careful. “a miracle, to say the least. that my father let that happen again. that the story ended well - hopefully.” nico throws jason a look, but it’s light, before the humor in his eyes drops. “but then again, i don’t think he had a choice.”
“what do you mean?”
nico is watching the basketball court as he mulls over his words in his mouth, as leo is up on his feet and extending a hand to percy. “our powers… the big three kids, i mean. they’re pretty dangerous.”
“no way,” jason says.
“shut up. i mean it, seriously. others - say, demeter kids, or ares, or dionysus - most control aspects of nature, but we’re basically the only ones to control the building blocks of our world, or even the universe.” nico gestures towards the court. “annabeth told me about their time in tartarus, about how percy almost killed a- a goddess-” nico’s voice caught just slightly, “because he could basically bloodbend. she had to stop him.”
a shiver ran down jason’s spine. he fell goosebumps down his arms at the thought of killing that powerful a being - that percy, at his most weak, battered and poisoned by the very air in tartarus, could pull something like that off…
“yeah,” nico agrees, sensing jason’s discomfort. “and he’s not the only one. i mean, you…” and that makes jason’s eyebrows raise. “you do realize your control over electricity means that you could essentially fry every cell in any living body, right? or make someone’s nervous system frizz out with a snap? you could literally turn someone braindead at the drop of a hat.”
nico doesn’t even give jason time to process that, before he says, “and leo-”
“wait, leo? what about leo?” jason almost winces at the urgency in his voice. suddenly, he has a really bad feeling churning in the pit of his stomach. vibrant, vibrant leo, eyes dark with rage... the image makes jason nauseous. nico is silent, staring at the table. “did he- after i- was he…”
“oh jason,” nico says softly, “you have no idea.” the tone of nico’s voice makes jason’s throat ache dully with the threat of tears. “he spent weeks completely spaced out. piper tried to get him to open up at first, and then we all did, because it was starting to get scary. he wouldn’t eat or sleep, or even go to the forges. he would just sit around with the darkest eye bags, muttering to himself. he was distraught enough that you died even after he specifically tried to save you from the prophecy,” nico says, and jason’s chest burns, “but then… he somehow-” nico loses his voice for a second, waving his hand in the air like he might physically catch the right words to frame his thoughts in the gentlest way possible. he glances at jason carefully, then continues, “he somehow figured that it was his fault. that because he cheated death, the prophecy took you instead.”
jason tears his eyes away from nico, jaw tight and hands rolled into tight fists on the surface of the table. he presses them into his eyes to induce sunspots, to ground himself for just a second, against the mounting grief and guilt and despair roaring like a gale, whistling through his ribcage like through the gaps in branches of a fragile little shrub.
“leo’s power is… elemental.” nico mutters slowly. “it’s, it’s fundamental to the workings of the universe, rather - fire is heat, and heat is energy, and energy is the first block on which the universe rests. it’s not just mythological reasons why demigods with fire-power like leo are considered bad omens. they’re bad omens because their power taps into the very core of everything. he doesn’t have to be a big three kid to be a threat to life as we know it.”
jason swallows thickly, barely manages, “when did you become a scientist?”
nico doesn’t find it funny. “you have to be one,” he grimaces, “when you’re trying to figure out how one demigod can have the power to suck the energy out of everything within a several dozen foot radius.”
jason starts to really feel sick at this point. he tries to find leo with his eyes, now gone from the basketball court. he wants to see leo laugh, his skin shining under the sun, alive, so he can get rid of the leo in his head, a walking blackhole of mourning. he says as much, the blackhole thing, and nico nods seriously.
“yeah, exactly like that. he was holed up in bunker 9 for days and the trees, the grass, even the ground itself, started sizzling and shrivelling up around it, going cold. it was nothing like i’ve ever seen before…” nico’s staring into the distance now, and god, jason can only imagine. “everything around the bunker had a comet tail of simmering air pointing straight towards it, like you could almost see heat itself getting sucked towards the bunker. it was really slow, gradual - leo’s still a demigod, not even close to chaos himself, but even then - power over heat gives him access to the universal function of entropy, which is… devastingly dangerous. entropy is complete disintegration, you know. there was a different kind of death hanging in the air i hadn’t ever felt before.”
“how did you even get near him?” jason’s voice is so weak, it struggles to reach even his own ears.
“it stopped once for a few short hours when he passed out, probably from sleep deprivation. i shadow-travelled him to the lake - percy had to take him underwater to keep camp safe when he woke up, and i could see even from the surface that him sucking the heat out of the water was turning the lake to ice. if percy wasn’t percy…”
“i think i’m going to be sick,” jason finally admits, voice cracking under heavy weight.
nico’s silence forces jason to look up from the marble, only to see nico studying him carefully. “you know, you care about each other a lot.”
it seems so obvious jason almost wants to smack nico for saying it like a revalation. “uh, yeah,” he scoff-chuckles, but it’s hollow. “he’s my best friend. he died, and then i died, and…” his near-whisper tapers out.
“right,” nico replies, and the implications of that word alone are too much to bear with the ghostly weight of leo’ grief around him dangling like a sword over jason’s head. “best friends,” nico repeats, and it drops the sword lower, grazing the back of jason’s neck. he doesn’t even let jason try and wipe the beads of metaphorical blood springing up onto his skin before nico starts talking again.
“your best friend,” nico emphasizes, “forced me to take him down to the underworld. his original plan was to strong-arm my father into letting him take your place, the way he thought the prophecy was meant to go. through sheer luck, persephone saw another chance, another end to an old tragedy, and she- wait, jason? jason- shit.”
jason can’t handle it. he vaguely recognises how shallow his breathing has gotten, and he tips his head back to try and take in more air - son of jupiter, struggling to breathe. nico’s saying sorry, sorry for getting intense, i should’ve known, you just got back, and jason’s shaking his head. “no, it’s- it’s okay, it’s okay-”
he gets up from the dining table. there are sunspots in his eyes again, without him pressing them into his skull this time, and all he can picture is the scene of leo and festus exploding against the blue sky over and over again - to storm or fire the world must fall, must fall, storm or fire, or fire, but there was no or, not really, because no matter how heroic and sacrificial jason was, leo would always beat him to it. leo would always beat him to it, and even after jason died, leo nearly beat him to it again, another explosion in the sky, fire bursting against a pristine, clear blue, no or, no or, no or, and jason has never felt so helpless in all his lives, even though they’ve both made it out. it seems a fate worse than his own death, to be confronted with the death of- with his death, a death that would leave jason on earth yet hollow like his body was the one being prepared for a tomb. the knowledge that leo would never let jason’s death happen feels almost like leo’s already a dead body walking the grounds of camp half-blood, and jason’s mourning is crashing into him like it did when ‘i love you guys’ rang in his ears as he yelled himself hoarse for his best friend.
“…ason- i’m going to get will-”
“no, no-” jason’s breathing is coming back, “i just- i needed a minute- i’m good.” he presses his palms into the table and blinks the sunspots away. “just- it’s difficult- fuck.”
“yeah,” nico says, now standing him with and rubbing his back, and jason’s more grateful than ever for his friend, because he can’t vocalise what he feels yet. he feels heavy, he feels trapped, he feels frustrated, and he’s nearly burning at the way leo puts him in this position over and over again, decides for the both of them that jason’s life is more important, because it’s not . not to jason.
“it’s just- he’s my best friend,” jason repeats, and slaps the marble with his hand, arms quivering. “fuck. i’m mad at him. or i just- fuck.”
nico’s silent for a moment, before he says, “we can set up the punch-leo-valdez station again. you didn’t get to punch him the last time.” he sits back down and tugs on the hem of jason’s t-shirt, so jason does the same, before burying his head in his palms.
“can i get more than one ticket?” he peeks at nico through his fingers, his friend blurrier than usual. jason really needs to get new glasses again.
nico grins back. “you get vip access, unlimited punches complimentary. our chief guest - jason eurydice grace. piper can go after you.”
jason finally laughs a real laugh, however short. “piper’ll beat him black and blue.” he ignores his heart stuttering at ‘eurydice’.
“he deserves it.”
jason finally spots leo in the distance, making his way to the pavillion, arms waving wildly at jason (and nico, but- jason). jason feels a smile tug at his mouth against his will, and he raises a hand and waves back at his stupid, stupid knight in shining armor.
“the best of friends,” nico mutters. jason ignores him.