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This is overwhelming, isn’t it?
Underwhelming. Would he care much for it?
What is a perfect gift?
Toya had his hand on his chin and he’d been walking around the store for quite a bit. He’s just not sure what Akito would adore for Valentine’s Day. Toya was sure stuffed animals were practically an overused gift to Akito at that point due to the claw machine, and flowers would just die off too quickly. What would he appreciate?
Not that Toya wanted his gift to be simple, after all, it was going to come with a confession, but he didn’t want it to be too much, either. He refused to scare his friend away. It was already taking a lot of courage to do this in the first place. Now, he feared he was overthinking this all. Toya walked up to a shelf and he looked around before his eyes hit a simple heart.
Inside the heart laid chocolates of all kinds, caramel, milk, dark.. Akito had a sweet tooth. He’d walked by this stand so many times, yet he didn’t reach the conclusion that this might be the best choice? Seriously, Toya’s overthinking made his mind distorted. He reached up and grabbed the heart and looked down at it, rubbing the ribbon with his thumb.
This was sweet. It was a perfect gift, right? Toya knew chocolates were usually given out during Valentine’s Day, so this might seem a bit basic, but Akito might appreciate it. Maybe Toya could get a small card for him, or just write his own note. A love note to go along with some chocolates. Toya’s face was brushed with a light red, putting the heart over his mouth. A love note? Could he write something like that? Or would that overload Akito? Should Toya get him more than one box of chocolates, but only if he settled on chocolates?
Toya tried to imagine what Akito’s reaction might be. He could be unimpressed. He could think it’s a friendship thing, like Kohane and An going on dates in a friendly way. Not that Toya completely believed that they didn’t share any romantic feelings for each other, it was just a hunch, but Akito could completely believe Toya only felt for him in a friendship way. That was terrifying. Akito not reciprocating had the potential to ruin their relationship and Toya understood that, he’d imagined that outcome for a while, but he wanted a chance. A chance to be able to talk to him about what he felt, which could potentially lead to something more between them.
The romance books were a bit of help. Toya would’ve never thought he’d indulge himself in the genre, but he decided that he might need to read a bit in order to know what the right words were for a confession. He couldn’t wing something like that. Not that he’d practice some sort of script in the mirror, but he wanted an idea of what was the best thing to say. Toya didn’t want to blurt out something that could ruin it all.
Toya decided to go with a single box of chocolates, and eventually, a small love note. Not too much, but it would be able to express his feelings towards Akito just enough. He had one day to figure out when to confess. Should he do it in sekai? Should he do it after school? How could this be perfect? Toya decided he’d hand it to him as it was, with the chocolates and the letter. He wasn’t sure if he’d be able to be there while Akito read it out of a bit of embarrassment, but he wanted to know his reaction, so he might have to stay after all.. It was too much to plan out!
The biggest fear Toya had was the fear of Akito not accepting it at all. Not that he thought Akito would do that, but what if he knew what Toya wanted to say? And that made Akito back away? This was all Toya could think of as he sat at his desk, staring down at a sheet of paper below him. How could he pour his feelings onto a paper?
His phone suddenly vibrated a few times, Toya moving his hand and grabbing it. He looked down at it. Akito was what the caller ID was, and he felt like he might explode. This timing was impeccable, really. He answered the call, putting the phone to his ear.
Toya fumbled with his phone a little. “Akito, hi,” Toya said with a voice crack, making his face red. Jeez. Could he be more obvious? He cleared his throat, putting a hand over his mouth and closing his eyes. He couldn’t even be on a phone call with his best friend after thinking about how to confess to him, how was he supposed to actually confess to him?! “Did you need anything?”
Akito sounded like he was messing with papers on the other side, and there was a sound of the phone hitting the table. “Oops, I dropped my phone. Hey. Anyway, uh..” Akito also cleared his throat. “We didn’t have anything planned tomorrow after school, so I was wondering if you wanted to walk over to our usual park. To practice a little. Yeah, to do that..” This was perfect. What amazing timing. He completely forgot to even plan something with him. Did he expect to give him this stuff during school? That would be underwhelming, won’t it? In the stories, romantic scenes wou—
“..Toya?” Ah, right, Akito was on the phone. How long was he silent for?
Nodding as if Akito could see it, Toya replied, “I’d love to.” Why did it sound like he was responding to Akito asking him on a date? “Err.. I mean, yes, we can go out after school.” Go out? Does that sound bad out of context? Why were his words failing him? Toya couldn’t help but put a hand on his forehead as if he was facepalming, leaning his head back in embarrassment.
Toya expected more, maybe a small interrogation on what was wrong with him today, but it just took Akito a second before he said, “Cool. I’ll see you tomorrow, then.” Toya wanted to exhale out of relief. Maybe he didn’t seem like anything was wrong with him at all! Or maybe Akito didn’t notice because he was pretty sure he was acting differently. They said their byes and Toya put down his phone before putting his head into his hands.
Toya liked Akito so much. He felt like he was going to overheat. Was there steam coming out of his head? He slid his hands down his face to look at his paper before he reached a hand down and grabbed his pen with a shaky hand, pressing the tip of the pen to the paper.
Then, Toya let his hand glide. He was winging it. Every thought about Akito, every detail, everything he liked about him, why he liked him. Why? How could he not? Akito helped him find where he knew he should stand. With him, on a stage, with his friends. How could he not like him? How could Toya not be thankful? He wanted to stand beside him.
I want to stand beside you. Now, I have the confidence to say, I want to stand beside you not only as a friend and a partner, but as a lover.
A lover. Toya lifted his hand from the paper, reading those lines. Was that too straightforward..? ..No. It’s what he felt. Toya knew what he meant by writing this. A lover will do.
The 14th. Toya had never felt so nervous. He might’ve had a lot of confidence yesterday, but as the school day was slowly reaching its end, his sanity felt like it was going to fall apart. Unfortunately, he hadn’t been able to see Akito much because of his library duty during lunch, but.. he felt like seeing him at all would’ve made his courage crumble even more. Akito was someone who had a lot of options when it came to love interests, especially since a lot of the girls from livehouses obviously adored Akito, which made sense. Akito never showed much interest, but it still made him wonder.. Out of all of his options, would he pick him?
Either way, this confession was going to happen. Toya was determined. The chocolates were in his backpack along with the note that he had put a nice envelope around. He wasn’t too sure if a plain envelope would be too obvious, so he decided to write something on the back. Akito , with a small heart beside it. The heart was definitely some sort of a stretch, but it was written with a pen, so he couldn’t go back from it.
As he was finishing up at his class for the day, Akito was waiting up outside. This Valentine’s Day was full of seeing people with balloons, flowers, etc.. It was a reminder of what he was going to do today. How could he have focused on his work when he was going to confess today? Luckily, the work wasn’t too hard.
Finally, Toya walked out of the building to see Akito standing there. He looked back at him as if he could practically sense he was standing there, and his partner shot him a smile. “Ready?” He asked, and Toya nodded.
They walked and it was a comfortable silence. Well, to Toya, it was more of a planning stage. The final plan, anyway. He was staring at the ground, trying to make sure that this would all go well. In his head, it was perfect, but who knew how it’d really go? He lifted his head and glanced at Akito, who seemed to already be looking, but he had looked away at the last second. Toya couldn’t help but smile. There is a chance Akito liked him back, he’s sure.
They got there, and as planned, they practiced a bit. Toya was able to actually focus on practicing, and maybe it was because it was with Akito. Being with him was exciting. Akito was exceptional. Being able to be by his side just like this was never not thrilling. And finally, they were sitting together on the bench, Akito patting his forehead with a towel.
“You seemed excited today, Toya,” Akito had said with a smile on his face, holding his water bottle with his free hand. “We did great today, huh?” Akito always did great, Toya was sure of it.
Leaning forward on his knees a bit, Toya’s lips twitched up as well. “I think you’re amazing all of the time, Akito. You nail every move and note perfectly.” That wasn’t too cheesy, right?
Akito laughed, screwing his water bottle closed. “Nah, I can mess up a lot. Give yourself credit, too. You do amazing a lot of the time.. Thanks, though.” Was he not being direct enough? Wait, is something like that even considered flirting? Or was it just a compliment? Toya was really trying his best to lead himself up to the point where he could hand him the chocolates and his letter. When was the perfect time? Toya looked up at the sky.
The sun was setting. This reminded him of when he and Akito were together. This didn’t seem any different. That moment, when Akito looked him in the eyes, his heart jumped every time. Now, his heart wouldn’t stop pounding in his chest.
“I’ll start to clean up, then.” Akito stood to clean up the area after he had finished cooling down, and Toya went to grab his backpack as soon as Akito was distracted. He zipped it open and pulled out the chocolates, making sure they weren’t melted, and the envelope. He stood as well, walking over to Akito, who was turned away from him. Akito hummed when he realized Toya was behind him, turning, and as soon as he did—
“ Please accept this, Akito. Happy Valentine’s Day .”
Toya’s surprisingly shaky hands were holding the chocolates and envelope with his letter tucked inside in his hands, leaning his upper body forward as a sign of respect. His lips trembled, filled with the most extreme feeling of anxiety. He was nervous. Akito wasn’t saying anything, which scared Toya. He didn’t expect him to stay silent.
Then, Akito finally moved. But it wasn’t to grab what was out of his hand, he was grabbing his backpack. Toya looked at him and stood up straight as he watched him pull out something from his bag. It was a stuffed animal. A panda, to be exact. “You beat me to it..” Akito murmured, the panda halfway covering his face.
In realization, Toya’s eyes widened and his mouth fell open a tiny bit, becoming a bit flustered. “I remembered how much you liked pandas from that one day at the arcade. Then, I saw a panda inside the claw machine, so I decided that..” He cleared his throat, his face red, just like Toya’s. “So.. Accept this as well, Toya. Oh, wait,” He reached down into his bag and turned suddenly, the panda in between his forearm and bicep, fiddling with something that sounded like paper. Then, he turned. “It’s a flower. Made of.. paper. It’s origami. Not the best, but it’s whatever. Oh, and.. Happy Valentine’s.” His voice was quiet in comparison to before.
Walking closer to him, Toya held his hand out, and Akito placed the flower in his hand slowly. Was this what he was making while they were on the phone last night? Toya handed him the letter and the chocolates, then was holding the panda, a stupid smile on his face. He stared down at it, Akito coughing quietly, a fist over his mouth. “It’s a simple gift, I know, but—“
“I love it. Simple doesn’t matter to me. This..” Toya didn’t care how simple it was, or how basic the gift was. It was from Akito. “I’ve never felt so happy with something before, I think.” He whispered, and Akito made a small sound, coughing. Did he almost choke?
“Well.. Good,” Akito muttered, and Toya could tell he was embarrassed, but.. He was also happy, wasn’t he? Akito opened the envelope gently, as if he was planning on keeping that too, and he pulled out the note slowly. Now, Toya was embarrassed. Was he going to read it right now? No, wait, he can’t take it.
Reaching forward, Toya gently put a hand on Akito’s, lowering it. “..Not right now. That’s just..” He pulled his hand away, his cuffed hand covering the lower half of his face. “It’s a little embarrassing. Sorry.” Akito was quiet for a second before he just chuckled, nodding, as if he understood. Toya’s sure he did. He thought Akito was probably more embarrassed than he was.
Akito went to sit down on the bench and he set the note and envelope to the side, opening the chocolate box in his hand. Toya sat next to him, holding the panda to his chest and the flower in his hand. “I thought you’d like the sweets. Please enjoy.” Toya watched as Akito nodded and grabbed the milk chocolate, popping it into his mouth.
Humming out of satisfaction, Akito nodded. “Amazing..” He muttered, and Toya couldn’t believe how happy his chest felt. The butterflies in his stomach were swarming, and.. Akito bit into another chocolate, and Toya moved without warning to even himself. It was sudden, but his courage took over his body. His confidence was at the brim.
Toya’s hand was laying on Akito’s cheek, his body closer to his, leaned forward, and.. his lips were gently laid on Akito’s.
Akito’s eyes were wide, and Toya was watching his expression before he closed his eyes. Akito was stiff, surprised. The taste of his lips was pure sweetness because of the chocolate he had probably accidentally smeared on his lips. Was this too quick? He should’ve considered the consequences. But, soon, it felt like Akito simply melted into the kiss. His hand went and laid on Toya’s shoulder, and as cutesy the kiss was, it was perfect.
They pulled away, Toya and Akito gazing at each other. Akito, out of the shock of it all, lost his grip on the chocolate box in his hand and dropped it, making them both jump. They looked down at it before Toya started chuckling. Luckily, not all of the chocolates had bounced out of the plastic, but some unfortunately did.
When Toya looked back at Akito, Akito had his hand on his face. “Sorry,” He managed. “I didn’t mean to drop them.”
“Don’t worry—“ Toya leaned down to reach for it, but Akito had started reaching at the same time, causing their hands to brush together. They both retracted their hands, glancing at each other. The tension of it all was sickening in the best way, knowing that this was real. Did he really like him back? Akito reached down quickly to grab the chocolates, placing them down beside him.
“ I like you, Toya .” Akito said it like if he didn’t say it now, he wouldn’t be able to say it again. “I don’t know how I could feel so happy, but I do. The last thing I expected was for you to like me back..” He couldn’t gaze at Toya any longer, his confidence failed him, and he changed his gaze to his fingers. “I didn’t know what I wanted, but now I know that.. I just want to stand beside you as well. I can’t get your words out of my head—“ And as if he remembered how utterly humiliating it was to just pour his feelings out, he stopped himself. “Urk. Nevermind. I like you, that’s all. I do..”
That was fine. Toya didn’t need to hear anymore to know what Akito meant or felt, because Toya felt the same thing too. “I look at you and all I can think about is how much I want to feel your presence. You have a warmth, Akito. You’re comforting. It feels like home with you.” The wind was a light breeze that took over the silence after he said this. It was straightforward, but all Toya knew was that at this very moment, he could stay here forever.
Home. A word he never thought he’d use to describe someone, but with Akito.. it felt real. Could this be love?
Toya didn’t expect a response. It wasn’t surprising to feel Akito just move closer and set his head on his shoulder, as if he was too embarrassed to respond, so this was how he’d say.. ‘You are too, Toya. Home.’ Akito’s hand rested on the metal, and Toya slowly moved his hand to set his pinky on Akito’s. Akito, out of a leap of faith, moved to interlock their fingers. Toya’s smile was wide enough to make his cheekbones hurt, holding Akito’s hand as well.
And so, they sat there. It was silent, then they’d talk about something random that came up in their minds, then silent again. They both wanted to sit in this moment forever with this sight, with this warmth, with this love in their hearts. But then, they had to walk home. And when they did, it was hand in hand, and with a warm feeling in their hearts.
Meanwhile, later that night and after Akito read Toya’s letter, Ena found him on the floor of his room with steam flowing upwards from his head due to an overwhelming feeling of too much love and affection from his dear partner.