Chapter Text
The world is scattered with calamities, apocalyptic storms disrupting everyone’s lives, and day-to-day necessities are altered.
Kim Dokja is tired.
He is tired of the calamities. He is tired of the fightings. He is tired of surviving.
Everyday his eyes open after a good night sleep, he dreads it. Because his life is only about the enemies, always anticipating what would come next, who would die today, what will haunt his dreams for the next month or so, and what will inevitably end the world one day. He wonders if it really is worth it.
Yet, everyday, despite everything, he drags himself out of the bed and fight. Fight to survive. He gives his all into every fight because every fight might be his last. He isn’t sure it would be the worst thing in the world.
Yet, he fights.
Because everytime his mind tells him to give up, rest, let it go, die, he sees him. The warrior. The so-called protagonist. Yoo Joonghyuk.
A man that has gone through similar fights countless times, seen countless deaths, faced countless calamities, gained countless scars. His fatigue seems small compared to Yoo Joonghyuk’s. He isn’t the protagonist, but what are his struggles compared to the protagonist’s?
Every morning, just as the dread kicks in, just as he debates staying in bed, his mind flashes with Yoo Joonghyuk, and he drags his tired body out of bed. Despite every bone in his body telling him to sleep for a bit more.
Of course, Kim Dokja doesn’t think this is anything short of infatuation. He just refuses to do anything about it. He knows; knows Yoo Joonghyuk’s affections for Lee Seolhwa, and he knows even without that, Yoo Joonghyuk wouldn’t appreciate a distraction. So, even if his every nerve craves for that distraction, Kim Dokja doesn’t say anything. Because he knows Yoo Joonghyuk didn’t want it. Because he knew he couldn’t bear it if Yoo Joonghyuk left him to save the world. Because being with Yoo Joonghyuk once would be more painful than never being with him.
So he took liberty in being in his presence, breathing the same air and feeling his warmth occasionally.
So, yes, maybe Kim Dokja is a coward, a cheat, a selfish bastard. But he is tired. He is tired of everything. He is tired of staying away from the one person that can warm his spirit.
One day, Kim Dokja thinks, One day I will reach out to Yoo Joonghyuk. One day this mellowness will eat his spirit and he will crumble and he will call out for Yoo Joonghyuk for that one chance. The one touch he’ll get before he loses the love of his life.
Before that, he will let himself crumble.