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“…Japan,” Hanesaka Kanae says, voice trembling. By some twist of luck, the game has not taken her home in these years of playing. “Oh god, I’m going home.”
“You don’t sound very excited,” Ace says. Kanae tenses, looks away. She hasn’t told her partner, has she?
“I’m sure my parents will want to see me,” she says.
“But you don’t want to, do you?” Ace asks. Kanae shakes her head. Ace is an orphan, she wouldn’t understand.
The pain of never being able to tell your family who you are. The pain of them pushing you out of it, more feminine, more obedient. Wrestling with her dream to be free and the fact that…
“Would you like to meet my parents, anyways?” She asks.
“If you like,” Ace says. “At least my Japanese is impeccable.”
“But you still can’t turn yourself into a man on a whim,” Kanae mutters. Not that she’d want her to. If she could choose, she wouldn’t choose being a lesbian. She doesn’t know how Ace does .
“What was that?” Ace asks.
“Nothing,” Kanae replies.
I wish to be free.
Free to love, free to travel, free not to work or play housewife. She’s gotten that playing, so how much more would winning give? The opposite of her home, but that hurts because she knows her parents worked hard to raise her, she knows they love her.
When she calls and tells them she’s in the country, she isn’t surprised her father jumps to meet her, and she’s less surprised her mother asks if she’d mind looking for a husband while here. Ace squeezes her hand, and it’s almost enough.
“You aren’t getting any younger, Kanae.”
“I know, mom.”
“At least think about it. You need the help, I’m sure.”
“…No, mom.”
She hangs up.
“Mothers,” she says. “I swear they mean well.”
“…I wouldn’t know,” Ace replies. Kanae sighs.
“I guess not.”
She always did dream of a wedding, that is the issue. Just she was the one in the tux, and now it’s Ace’s handsome face in a dress. They’re partners, they fight together and sleep together, but have they even put a name on what they are?
She doesn’t know.
“You’ve been traveling in all these dangerous places,” her father says. “With another woman?”
“She’s stronger than she looks,” Kanae says. Sometimes they do trade off dressing as a man, and Ace always pulls it off better. Like she can choose that, too. Kanae can’t. She’s a women, she loves women, and she’s come to terms with that except…
Except home.
“And so is your daughter, sir,” Ace says, unfailingly polite. Almost old fashioned. Her Japanese frankly reminds Kanae of her grandfather, whose funeral she missed.
“Sure” her father says. “And how’s that going?”
“Very well,” Ace says, “but our travels might be over, soon.”
“WHAT?” Kanae asks, so loud everyone looks at them. Ace turns to her.
“The clock is ticked down to 11,” she says. “Perhaps a finale is eminent.”
“That’s great!” Her father says.
Kanae glares at the both of them, and she storms out.
“Cone—”
“I don’t want to talk to you right now.”
“I didn’t mean—”
“You think I’m going to lose, don’t you?”
Ace freezes, lowering her hand.
“And if I did?” She asks.
“Then I’d make sure you lose, too,” Kanae says. “I refuse to go back to my old life, it’s nothing but a distant memory.”
“You can’t beat me, Cone,” Ace says.
“And you can’t win without me,” she says. Ace perks up, and does she think Kanae is stupid? “I know what you’re thinking. This is bound to be the game where they split the teams. We’ll be enemies, and I…”
I love you.
She wants to say it, but she can’t.
Real freedom won’t come unless she wins.
Ace sighs.
“I’ll be on a walk,” she says. “Think carefully about what you really wish, partner.”
Even Ace doesn’t believe in her. Maybe she’s right not to.
Maybe Kanae is destined to lose.