Work Text:
Love is a verb
In the Korean language, the translation of the verb “to love” is the combination of the word for love and the verb “hada”, roughly equivalent to the English verb “do”. Jun Ho would think of that from time to time but never as much as after he met, fell in love and started dating Woo Young Woo.
As a verb, he was always in some sort of action regarding her.
Helping her through the revolving doors, teaching her the rhythm so she could pass them through on her own, opening water bottles, watching her from afar.
Working alongside her was invigorating; assisting her and then watching her succeed, exhilarating.
When she confessed to him, she ran and his body fell in a paralysis while his mind accelerated and his heart skipped a few beats. When he finally realized there was no turning back for his heart, he also run to her and delivered his confession. Granted, she then ran away from him, flustered. But she also apologized and then gave her heart away in her date list.
When they kissed for the first time, he felt the paradox in all its splendor. He had to keep his cool, to actively keep himself from moving while creating time and space for her to take that step. Feeling her flourish in his arms and to his lips was the most awkward and incandescent first kiss he’s ever had.
Probably the last first, since then, and every day after that, he kept running towards her when she broke them up, behind her in their work and alongside her for everything else.
Love is a choice
After accepting Jun Ho’s reasoning about their love being like that of cats and their people, she had to learn to consciously choose Jun Ho.
She slowly even realized it was both a conscious and an unconscious choice.
Consciously, she designed a complex array of reminders and cues to be more attentive to him and his needs. An alarm to tell him good morning, a few reminders and annotations along her work's little notebook to do a small gesture to show him affection, a calendar alert to ask him to propose a date more to his tastes, randomized in his eyes despite the fact that randomization algorithms were more an illusion for humans while computers and her memory kept close track of the previous and future iterations.
But she had to try. He showed her that he could choose her as his cat.
So she kept constantly choosing him, which was reinforced on how unconscious her heart's choice was him. Even when she broke them up, he kept popping up in her mind. Almost as much as whales. Almost always when she needed to take a deep breath in the middle of her existence in her confusing pod of belugas or angry sharks, especially when she was feeling very lonely in her narwalness.
And then, she was able to choose him, and they starting choosing new dates and new details to learn from one another. Not long after that, he started mentioning the future casually here and there.
The future he was imagining with her.
He chose her. So she kept choosing him.
Not because there was no option, but because she was always consciously choosing the world she could have with him. A conscious but effortless decision to ignore every other possibility. The joy of the certainty that, if he asked her for forever, she was going to say yes.
Love is a practice
Jun Ho slammed the door of their apartment and pulled his hair out of his face.
He felt his gut reverberate with his frustration.
He told Young Woo that he will arrange his books. Their date of book shopping was so nice, but now it soured since she went ahead and put the books away. With her cold logic all over his post shopping enjoyment.
She knew his rituals. He had made a point of telling her about thing that were non-negotiable for him.
They’ve already lived together for years. They knew each other’s buttons so well that he knew she knew he was going to dislike her moving the books. But she did it anyway.
He was aware she asked him before, that she was bothered that the books had been in their coffee table for days.
It was not that he ignored her or disregarded her.
He had been working late the whole week. With her.
It annoyed him to higher levels to think she went out of her way to do that. Wasn’t she as exhausted as him? He felt irked that she had the time to basically loose all his new books in their book collection.
He was so angry he was buffing hot air even if the aisle was not heated and it was the middle of the winter.
He went on a run, trying hard to burn the anger.
But, when his legs were aching more than the itch of his annoyance, he jogged back.
When he opened the door, he saw the books in dispute on their table.
All minus one.
Young Woo had it in her hands as she was peacefully reading in their sofa, with the sunset light gently falling over her.
She was so pretty, and it was suddenly so absurd how angry he got with her. He contemplated her in silence until the moment was interrupted by his phone's beep.
—Mianhe, Jun Ho-ah.—She said apologetically from her place without any preamble.—I should not have organized your books. I know you don’t remember things the same way as I do. It was unfair of me to tell you the specific instances I requested you finish organizing those.
—I’m sorry you were so bothered by it. I know it’s difficult for you to turn off overstimulation.
—You were not listening to me?
—I wasn’t and I’m sorry.—He said finally feeling how anger was leaving him.— But I am listening now.
—Can I learn your organization system so I can do it better next time?
—Can’t you wait for me to do it since I like doing it? I enjoy putting new books away.
—A compromise?
—Ok.
They both took a deep breath. It was amazing how all their practice talking helped them get back in sync so quickly even after such a big but petty fight.
—What can help you give me more time to finish a task like this if I need it?
—Maybe the books can be out of the line of things we see first thing when I arrive home. I was feeling more tired just knowing that was what I was going to notice when entering our home.
—Just that? I thought you were going to tell me to buy less books.
—Mmmmm. You can do that—She said pensively—But then you can also can declutter the books you have so the bookcase is a little more minimalistic. Sell some books for example...
He chuckled.
—Will you reduce your whales collection?
She chuckled and his heart finally set at ease again.
—I can commit to that if you need.—She said diplomatically.
He got closer to her and hugged her.
Fighting with her was always difficult. Good thing they always were open to get more practice on how to talk and make up.