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Jǐngyí has never felt this lost before as he gazes up from his ingredient list to the looming baking aisle of their local grocery store.
He, admittedly, had been dreaming big when taking on the task of baking something sweet for Zizhēn’s birthday-slash-Valentine’s day surprise, but now that he’s here after spending hours researching recipes and finding the perfect one, it… Was a little more intimidating than he had first thought. At least he had convinced his brother and cousin to get involved, since it originally had been a little idea planted by Sīzhuī that only blossomed into the exciting thought of baking something – but as he takes a quick glance back at the two behind him, he sees a slight furrow in Sīzhuī’s brow and an exasperated look etched on Rúlán’s face when he continues to scroll through the list he had messaged to the family group chat. At least they mirror the feelings he feels about this entire situation.
A small remark of, “of course you had to pick the most difficult one,” echoes throughout the empty aisle, and Jǐngyí gives Rúlán a glare in response before looking back at the different types of sugar in front of them. Consulting the list for reference, he grabs the two he needs – confectioners and granulated sugar – and turns back, about to put them in the cart.
“Ā-Yí,” Sīzhuī says, taking a step forward with his hand out, “I think we already have–”
Jǐngyí shakes his head. “I’m not taking that chance. Plus, do you know how old the sugar and flour that we have is? I don’t think Bàba has baked anything since our tenth birthdays.”
“Māmā would be horrified…” Rúlán mumbles as he glances up from his phone to stare at Jǐngyí, who simply shrugs off the implication with a quick shut up as he tosses the two bags into the cart a bit carelessly and laughs as the two shriek at the sight. “You are so lucky that they didn’t explode everywhere!”
“Whatever, whatever. Let’s keep going, we only have about an hour before Zizhēn gets out of his class.”
“Wait, you’re going to attempt to make these before he gets done?” Rúlán’s eyes narrow, almost challenging him to deny it or say otherwise, but Sīzhuī shakes his head.
“He had the brilliant idea of making them late at night so they’re done right at midnight, remember?” Sīzhuī quips, giving his own wicked grin as he grabs a package of red food coloring they’ll need for the inner heart portion of the cupcake, gently placing it in the cart. Wow. The amount of betrayal happening, he honestly can’t even believe it.
“Friendly reminder that you both agreed to help me with this once you implanted the idea of making him something in my head, gēge. In fact, it only grew into this because of you!”
Sīzhuī winces at this and his frown deepens. “I should’ve suggested something easy… Or, at least, I should’ve helped find an easier recipe.”
“And the sleepover was Rúlán’s idea, was it not?” Silence overtakes the three as Jǐngyí crosses his arms over his chest, waiting for an answer. “That’s what I thought. We’ll definitely be fine making this, it can’t be that hard, right?”
Sīzhuī glances wearily at the screenshots sent in the group chat, before his eyes meet Rúlán’s – and soon Jǐngyí’s, too. “Y’know, or you could just buy him cupcakes? He would appreciate it just as much…”
“That’s not authentic enough.” Jǐngyí turns toward the aisle again, peering up at the multiple choices for different flours, sugars, and other baking ingredients out on display (ones that he doesn’t really know what the difference is, but he’s still going based off of his list regardless).
“More like it’s not romantic enough!” Rúlán teases, making a gagging noise until Jǐngyí gives him a harsh shove. “You have the biggest crush on him, it’s almost embarrassing.”
“Shut up!” Jǐngyí goes to cover his mouth with his hand, but he instantly jerks it back and furiously wipes it on Rúlán’s sweatshirt. “Brutal.”
“You deserved that,” Rúlán pushes his glasses up and unlocks his phone again to pull up the list. “Will you just get back on track now? You’re the only one worried about the time limit.”
Despite Jǐngyí’s own ears reddening and therefore betraying him – it’s his Ā-diē’s trait, he swears – he relents to his demands and nods his head, turning back toward the items towering above him. “I’m not crushing on him, also,” he gets out as a last-ditch attempt even though it's clearly a lie, grabbing the box of vanilla extract and tossing it into the cart behind him.
“Denial is just a river in Egypt.”
His shriek cuts off Rúlán’s snort of a laugh, ringing loud through the aisle. “I will cut you!”
“Come on, you two. We’re on a time limit, remember?” Sīzhuī reaches forward to grab both of them by their sleeves, reining them in with a certain look on his face – and Jǐngyí takes a deep breath to keep himself from throwing a fit. His Ā-diē would be so disappointed if he had a tantrum in the middle of the grocery store, but it’s hard when they both gang up on him. Whatever. He’ll be fine.
Jǐngyí continues grabbing the items they’ll need, trying his best to ignore the two since he knows they’ll eventually give up, and he tosses them into the cart with a bit of a reignited fire, fueled by wanting to prove Rúlán wrong all while keeping his promise to himself about making something nice for Zizhēn. He doesn’t have a crush on him. Maybe.
Or … He thinks, but immediately shakes his head to get rid of the thought. Zizhēn is presumably straight, so it’d be pointless to pursue him anyway – and therefore it’d be pointless to admit to himself if he does like him. Rúlán doesn’t know what he’s talking about. (He himself doesn’t even know what he’s talking about, if he’s being honest, but he digresses.)
Rúlán and Sīzhuī note his silence and resume helping, guiding the cart down the maze of an aisle before they have to get other items – frozen strawberries and heavy cream for the frosting, to name a few – and Jǐngyí leading the way with a huff of determination. The two behind him talk with a bit of nonchalance, mindlessly bringing anything up to deter the quiet; save for the regular ambience of the store, the chatter from nearby customers, the squeak of carts against the linoleum floors and the hum of the lights, speakers and refrigerators.
By the time they make it out of the self-checkout and into the cold, their phones ding at the same time – indicating that Zizhēn had texted the group chat – and Jǐngyí swears his blood pressure rises simply by the thought that, despite their teasing with the time limit, that they hadn’t even left the parking lot by the time he finished with class. He’s at least glad that he wasn’t planning to have the cupcakes done by then, but still. They have to get home before Zizhēn makes it over so they can put away everything they’ve bought and hide the evidence so he doesn’t suspect anything. Jǐngyí spares a glance at the text once they finish unloading the groceries into the back of his car, and he tries to push away the way his heart flutters at how Zizhēn uses the blushing smiley emoji with the hearts flying above its head, along with the message ‘just got out, did you three want me to pick up dinner before i head over?’ – and no, he just thinks the emoji is cute, he swears. Jǐngyí looks at the two as he relays the message primarily to Rúlán – who he knows hasn’t placed the order yet, despite having all the time in the world to do so – and Sīzhuī climbs into the passenger’s seat, much to Rúlán’s dismay. A shout of ‘I wanted to sit there!’ echoes through the car, but Sīzhuī only hums in response before continuing with, “I feel bad if it’s his birthday and he has to pick up the food…”
“You coddle him more than Jǐngyí does.”
Wow. Jǐngyí turns back to face Rúlán with a fiery spark in his eyes – now that he’s not in such a public place, he has no issue smacking the shit out of him here. “You are two seconds away from walking home instead.”
“You know my Bàba would throw a fit if you kicked me out and left me here!”
“Try me!”
“Guys,” Sīzhuī deadpans without looking at them, resting his head against the window. Jǐngyí huffs once more and starts to pull out of the parking lot, heading out onto the main road toward their house. “Both of you knock it off. I’ll just tell him that we’ll order the food and he can pick it up, that way we have enough time to clear everything out from the trunk and into the cupboards for later. Okay? Can we just do that, please?”
“Yes,” they both say at once, despite Jǐngyí rolling his eyes out of habit.
“Call Zizhēn, I don’t remember what he normally gets.” Rúlán says as he unlocks his phone, launching into the app to order. “My mind went blank.”
“Why can’t you call him?” Jǐngyí bites back.
“I’m ordering the food! And you get to talk to him, so… Win-win for you two.” Before any rebuttal of the fact that he’s driving can be made, Rúlán sighs and loudly announces, “Hey Siri! Call Zizhēn!”
Jǐngyí huffs. Rúlán waves him off with a flick of the wrist – not that he’s paying any attention to him, at least – but he quietly reminds him that, “we all get the same thing every time, how can you not remember?” before the call connects.
“Hi,” Zizhēn greets, the background noise of him driving suddenly cutting him off before it gets clearer and less static. “What’s up?”
“Línglíng wants to know what you want from the restaurant because we haven’t ordered it yet, because he has a shit memory—” Rúlán cuts him off with a loud yell, something unintelligible that he thinks is a swear word.
Zizhēn’s laugh fills the car’s stereo, and Jǐngyí swears his ears burn at the sound. “Oh. Orange chicken. Also… Did you want me to pick it up, then?”
“If you’re able to, we would appreciate that.”
“Sure,” Zizhēn says. “Just let me know when it’s ordered and I’ll swing by and grab it.”
Rúlán hums at that, and Jǐngyí can see him rapidly tapping away at his phone screen in the rearview mirror. “I’m like, almost done. I would’ve done it when we were at the store, but–“
Jǐngyí’s eyes grow wide. “Dude!”
Thankfully, Zizhēn doesn’t notice the slip up. “Okay, I’ll head that way then. See you three in a little bit!”
They end the call with a small goodbye, and Jǐngyí tries not to speed as he drives to their house. He’s already thinking about where to put things, the nerves finally settling in as he realizes he has to do this now. There’s no turning back.
What could go wrong?
Well, apparently… A lot.
Dinner goes well, magically, despite the fact that Rúlán forgot to order extra chicken with Jǐngyí’s meal – but he’s too nervous to be upset about it, tantalizingly staring at the instructions for the cupcakes he’s going to make as Zizhēn gets ready for bed; since he’s the last to do so, it’ll be easier for the others to head downstairs to get to work once he’s asleep.
Jǐngyí locks his screen once Zizhēn settles down beside him on the floor, and he gives him a bit of a smile before glancing over at the others – and he tries to bite his tongue to refrain from snapping at Rúlán who is face down in his pillow. Goddammit.
“Are you tired?” Zizhēn asks, his voice soft as he curls deeper into the heavy blanket, and Jǐngyí sighs. Honestly, yes, he is – it’s nearing eleven pm – but he has something he needs to do , and he’s determined and ready despite his hands shaking at the idea.
Still, he nods his head. “I think Línglíng is, too,” he teases, trying to avoid the spare pillow that is thrown at his head as Sīzhuī tells them goodnight and turns off the light. (How does Rúlán still have good aim, though? It’s not fair!)
Waiting until Zizhēn is asleep thankfully doesn’t take too long, but that only makes Jǐngyí shake more as time goes on. He quietly stands up and does his best to avoid Zizhēn’s sleeping form beside him. Rúlán is a bit of a bitch to wake up, but Jǐngyí finally shoves him out the door with Sīzhuī groggily following after him.
As he makes it into the kitchen and sets his phone down on the counter, he honestly doesn’t know where to start with this. “Do I just… Go for it?” He asks the two with a bit of a sigh. “I mean, it can’t be that hard, right? Just baking?”
Rúlán snorts. “Well, considering that it’s step-by-step instructions…”
“I do not need your shit, Línglíng. You were blessed with the baking skill. We were not.” Jǐngyí takes a deep breath, placing his palms against the island counter and staring at the list. The first thing is preheating the oven, but he really doesn’t trust himself or the others to make the batter, the red cake batter for the hidden hearts and get the cupcake liners in the pan all before the timer goes off. So, they’ll just wait on that portion. They need to bake the hearts first anyway, so maybe he’ll preheat the oven for that. “Just… Okay. We need to get the mixing bowls, a spoon, and all the shit from earlier. Well, maybe not all of it – like the frozen strawberries can stay in there until… Or, wait – do those need to be thawed?”
“Ā-Yí,” Sīzhuī places a hand on his shoulder, “take a breath. The strawberries I believe stay frozen until we need them. Let’s just get out the stuff to make the red cake batter first, that way we can have it bake as we make the batter for the rest of the cupcake.”
He nods his head, letting his brother drag him to the cabinets as Rúlán peers over at the phone, noting the things they need to grab all while perching himself up on the island and unofficially naming himself the boss much to Jǐngyí’s dismay. He’s the one making the cupcakes after all, he should be the one reading the ingredients off and forcing the other two to search and find where the hell they put half of these things – but that’s neither here nor there. He’ll eventually get over it, he promises, but he’ll just pout and huff about it first. He unabashedly climbs onto the counter to grab the flour and accidentally elbows Rúlán in the face, and his laughter about needing to climb is quickly interrupted by the shout he lets out as he covers his cheek.
“This is going to be a long night,” Sīzhuī sighs, mostly to himself.
“Oh, sorry, Línglíng,” Jǐngyí tosses over his shoulder in a half-assed apology as he grabs the package of flour, ignoring the retort Rúlán gives him under his breath with a bit of a victorious smirk on his face.
This is fine, he thinks as he finishes grabbing the dry ingredients that he needs and hops down. We’ll be fine.
Jǐngyí could not be more wrong as time goes on.
He’s covered in flour, sugar and red food coloring. He’s also fairly sure there’s some batter on the floor, the ceiling and possibly some of the walls and appliances as well – though he’s not sure how, but whatever. Rúlán and Sīzhuī aren’t faring too well either, and the later it gets into the night, the snippier they get. Not that Jǐngyí can blame them, because he’s becoming increasingly frustrated with the fact that these damn cupcakes aren’t turning out how he wants them to. The red cake had been crumbling when he was trying to insert it into the batter of the remainder of the cupcake, and whenever the cupcakes were finished it looked awful and cracked to hell. He doesn’t even want to attempt to taste them in fear that they messed up some measurements or something – which, he doesn’t think they did, but knowing his luck…
It also doesn’t help when Rúlán keeps getting in his way as he tries to blend the nutella, frozen strawberries and heavy cream to make the icing – and oh God, he’s surprised how Zizhēn hasn’t woken up from the hand mixers whirring at full blast in the first place. Maybe that had been his first mistake – as evident by the fact that more of the batter got outside of the bowl rather than in it, but whatever – but his second had been constantly arguing with Rúlán whenever he gets in his space and snapping at Sīzhuī for moving the bowl (when he’s pretty sure the mixer had been the one moving it, but he’s too upset to rationalize anything at the moment).
Jǐngyí lets out a loud shriek of Rúlán’s name when he accidentally tips over the bag of confectioner’s sugar that hadn’t been put away yet, and before he’s able to get any retort out besides a shout of frustration, they’re met with a distant, “what are you guys doing?” that causes all three of them to snap their heads up in the direction of the sound.
At first Jǐngyí fears the worst – Ā-diē or Bàba coming down to see this mess and scolding them for it – but he soon comes to the realization that he’d rather see his parents instead of a sleepy-eyed Zizhēn standing at the doorway of the kitchen. They freeze like deer in headlights, and Jǐngyí almost drops the hand mixer into the frosting. The silence that falls over them is unnerving as he tries to think of something to say, something to explain why the three of them would be baking cupcakes in the middle of the night, but before he’s able to get out a word, Sīzhuī lets out a loud laugh unabashedly.
“Zizhēn, we are never, ever going to let him forget this moment,” he giggles, finally remembering how to move as he gently grabs the mixer from his brother’s hand, turning it off and placing it on the counter. Rúlán, seemingly unfrozen as well, snickers under his breath as he playfully shoves at Jǐngyí’s arm – as if to get him to quickly explain the even more puzzled look on Zizhēn’s face.
Finally, Jǐngyí gestures to the tin of cooling cupcakes behind him, the mixing bowl of frosting as well as the mess of the kitchen and says, “surprise…! Happy birthday,” but his voice comes out in a bit of a squeak. Zizhēn’s face instantly lights up, any trace of sleep gone from his features, and Jǐngyí can’t help but smile when he does. “We’re, um – we’re making you cupcakes. We had the idea and I picked out the recipe… We’re almost done making the frosting if you want to wait down here with us.”
“Sure,” he says as he walks closer to the island, expertly avoiding any spots of batter or spilled sugar. “Do you want me to help?”
“No,” all three of them echo as Sīzhuī grabs the hand mixer again, being in charge of using it this time. Zizhēn looks a little shocked by the outburst, even going so far as to stick out his lower lip in a pout that makes him look like a cute puppy – not that Jǐngyí notices, because he doesn’t have a crush on him, he swears – when he looks at them.
Rúlán looks at the clock. “It’s past midnight which means it’s your birthday now. Bàba says not to do any work on your birthday, you know.”
“Of course he does,” Jǐngyí mutters under his breath, and Rúlán pointedly ignores him with a roll of his eyes. “But yeah. Sure. We’ll go with his logic. No work on your birthday.”
“Okay, but that means you have to help clean up, you’re the one that made most of this mess anyway.” Sīzhuī reminds his brother, giving a bit of a nudge with his shoulder as he finishes blending the frosting with a sigh of relief from the noise. Jǐngyí simply gestures toward the bag of sugar still laying on the ground in an attempt to prove his (partial) innocence. “Alright, fine. But still.”
“I’ll take it.” Jǐngyí turns toward Zizhēn with a small smile. “Okay. We just have to frost the cupcakes and then you’ll be able to eat as many as you want, though I can’t guarantee they’ll be that great.”
“Can I at least help with my own cupcakes, then, Jǐn?” he asks, and Jǐngyí knows there’s suddenly no getting out of the loophole he’s created. No work means no work, but… They are his cupcakes, after all. And the nickname makes him weak in the knees, of course, and he easily gives into his request to help. He nods his head as Sīzhuī retrieves the piping bag, starting to scoop the frosting into it with a sense of ease that Jǐngyí is honestly envious of.
Zizhēn steps closer and waits for Sīzhuī to be done filling the bag before he gently takes it with a small thanks; Sīzhuī and Rúlán then start to help with cleaning up the sugar on the floor, but Jǐngyí mostly thinks it’s a silent agreement, a sort of ruse to allow him some ‘alone time’ – though they aren’t alone – with each other. Zizhēn pipes the frosting on top of a cupcake and finishing off with a swirl, and Jǐngyí can’t help but watch in awe at that and how gorgeous he looks; how his bottom lip is caught in between teeth, his eyebrows furrowing in concentration, and the glow of the harsh luminescent light from the microwave highlighting the soft hues of a lighter brown in his hair and the freckles on the bridge of his nose, hidden only by the slight crinkle as he focuses.
His hair looks so soft, I wanna run my hands through it… his mind supplies as he looks at how it naturally curls, sticking up in random areas from sleep. He’s so cute.
Zizhēn turns to look at him with wide eyes, and Jǐngyí blinks. “What?” He glances at Rúlán and Sīzhuī to see them looking back at him horrified. His mind blanks, and he turns his attention back onto Zizhēn, asking “did I miss something?” Did he give him instructions to do something, and he had just zoned him out? Maybe with the lack of sleep, this wasn’t such a good idea.
“What?” Zizhēn laughs a little, but it’s gentle in tone as he continues with, “you said my hair looks soft, and” – oh fuck, Jǐngyí completely understands why the two had given those looks to him – “that you want to run your hands through it.” He pauses for a moment, and Jǐngyí finally notices that the apples of his cheeks are slightly flushed. “And that I’m cute.”
Oh shit, oh fuck…
Unable to deny that he just said those things – because saying that it’s a lie, and that he didn’t is worse – he sighs in defeat and nods his head, the tips of his ears burning. He tugs on them a little as a nervous tick.
“Thank you,” Zizhēn says, giving him a smile that honestly melts his heart. “You’re cute too, y’know.” He returns to frosting the cupcakes as if he hadn’t just dropped that on him, and Jǐngyí feels his ears and face getting hotter and hotter every second as he stares at him with wide eyes.
“Oh.” He blinks, finally remembering how to function. “Thanks.”
There’s a beat of silence before he asks, “do you want to help me frost some cupcakes?” Before Jǐngyí can awkwardly deny, laughing it off at the thought of ruining his cupcakes even more, Zizhēn smiles at him and says, “I’ll help you.” Jǐngyí sucks in a breath as he nods and takes the piping bag, trying his hardest to focus on what he says and how to do this – though that all goes out the window whenever Zizhēn gently places his hand over his to make sure he gets the movement and pressure right. Sīzhuī and Rúlán have gone eerily quiet, but as Jǐngyí looks over his shoulder at them, he can see them immediately begin working on the sugar again, and he knows for a fact they were just watching. Fuck.
“I guess I should ask which flavor these are.” Zizhēn says, once again drawing his attention back to him.
He pauses for a moment, racking his brain to remember what exactly he had just made, before he finally says, “they’re vanilla, with strawberry swirl for the frosting. I was going to add red sprinkles if you want them, too, but now that you know about the surprise, we don’t have to if you don’t want them.”
Zizhēn shakes his head, a bright smile on his face as he says, “I think the sprinkles would be perfect.” Jǐngyí honestly feels like his heart is going to burst out of his chest when he then returns back to the frosting and keeps putting his hand on his despite the fact that Jǐngyí feels as though he’s got this mastered – or, maybe not, he thinks as he distractedly over-frosts one, but the mess is completely worth the sound of Zizhēn’s laugh that practically lights up the room.
Luckily, they manage to finish frosting and topping them with the red sprinkles at the same time Sīzhuī and Rúlán finish their task of cleaning up the sugar spill, and – in Jǐngyí’s defense, the cupcakes don’t look half bad, though he’s still scared to taste them.
Zizhēn sighs happily despite this, readjusting the plate they were on to show them in the light of the microwave. “I wish I brought my phone down with me so I could take a picture of them.” Rúlán snorts at this, pulling out his phone and handing it to him wordlessly, and Jǐngyí – admittedly – wishes he had been fast enough to do so first as he watches Zizhēn snap a few. “Send those to me then, please.”
“I will,” he says, taking his phone back before glancing at Jǐngyí and asking, “do you think Dàjiù would throw a fit if we ate these upstairs?” Sīzhuī sighs, resting back against the counter and wearily looking at the mess of a kitchen, and Rúlán backtracks with, “I mean, if we don’t make a mess?”
“You two already have–!”
“Yeah, I think it’d be fine.” Jǐngyí cuts his brother off with a wicked grin. “I’ll just clean the kitchen afterwards, it’ll be fine.”
“Famous last words,” Sīzhuī grumbles, but quickly gives a look of defeat once seeing how Zizhēn is practically glowing as he carefully grabs the plate with a grin on his face. “Fine, as long as you promise not to make another mess and be sure you clean up down here… What Bàba and Ā-diē don’t know, won’t hurt them.”
The four of them book it upstairs after hearing the confirmation and silent agreement that Sīzhuī is right – what they don’t know will have no effect on them, and Zizhēn gets to comfortably enjoy his birthday treats and video games while bundled up in the mountain of blankets and pillows laid out on the floor. It honestly sounds like a foolproof plan to him, at least.
Settling down in Sīzhuī’s room again, Jǐngyí takes a seat in his spot and Zizhēn joins him, being extra careful with the plate as he sets it down. Sīzhuī and Rúlán sit across from them, the latter already turning on the Nintendo Switch and the television. “Okay, the birthday boy gets to pick the first game.”
“Animal Crossing,” Zizhēn says immediately as he takes more pictures of the cupcakes, now on his phone, and Jǐngyí notices he starts to take selfies with the three of them in the background doing their normal thing; Rúlán getting the game to work, and Sīzhuī readjusting his glasses as he scrolls through his phone. How cute, he thinks as he eventually poses with him.
Once the game is booted up, Zizhēn distributes a cupcake to each of them before unwrapping his own and taking a bite. Jǐngyí, Sīzhuī, and Rúlán watch him out of curiosity and with bated breath to see just how awful it had turned out – only for his eyes to light up and he exclaims, “it’s so good!” once finishing his bite.
That gives them enough confidence to try it for themselves, and as Sīzhuī and Rúlán try theirs, Jǐngyí notices that Zizhēn sees the red heart cake in the center and his eyes sparkle as he turns to look at him. “Cute,” he mumbles, though he’s not sure if it’s to himself or not. Jǐngyí’s ears burn at that, but he tries to ignore it as he finally ties the cupcake, and he’s honestly not sure how they managed it, but it’s sweet, fluffy and delicious – and he’s glad the others think so as well. Good, he thinks as Zizhēn pulls out his phone again and turns the camera on him; as he smiles, he can feel and see the strawberry frosting that had ended up on his nose, but he doesn’t have time to wipe it off before he hears the photo being taken.
Between the four of them, they manage to finish the dozen cupcakes within an hour or so, pausing every so often to play on the Switch before Rúlán and Sīzhuī soon start to doze off; Jǐngyí starting to follow in their tracks as he rests against Zizhēn’s shoulder, the sound of the ceiling fan above them and light snores coming from the two already asleep.
“Thank you for baking those,” Zizhēn suddenly says, and Jǐngyí tries not to smile too much when he lazily wraps an arm around his waist to be more comfortable. He could honestly sleep like this, if he’s being honest – but he tries not to, trying to get enough motivation to go downstairs and clean but it’s becoming increasingly difficult the more comfortable he gets as he curls up closer.
“You’re welcome, happy birthday…” he yawns a little, but attempts to stifle most of it – though, without much luck as Zizhēn notices. “I’m really happy they turned out well. I was a nervous wreck about it all, honestly.”
“Oh?” he asks, “why? They turned out great, you had nothing to be worried about.”
Jǐngyí lets out an airy laugh, and he curses internally as he realizes just how exhausted he actually is. This is a bad sign, he thinks as he rambles out, “of course I had a lot to be worried about… This is you we’re talking about. Everything had to be perfect.” Zizhēn hums at that, almost wanting to ask, but he – unfortunately – continues with, “I wanted to do something special for you because I like you.” It’s quiet for a moment as his tired brain catches up to what the fuck he just said out loud, and he’s glad that Rúlán and Sīzhuī are asleep because how embarrassing.
When he dares to look up at him, Zizhēn has a soft smile on his face. “I like you too–”
“I mean–” Jǐngyí accidentally interrupts, almost a bit impatiently and bracing himself for the worst as he dives right into this. “I mean, not in a ‘friend’ way.”
“Oh,” he breathes out. “Well, that’s a relief.”
What? Jǐngyí blinks up at him. “Huh? You know I mean like, a… ‘Like-like’ way, right?” He grimaces at the wording – it was honestly how Rúlán always said it – but Zizhēn simply nods his head. He pulls back to look at him more, creating some bit of distance between them as he stares at his face, studying his expression to make sure that he wasn’t lying or misunderstanding.
“I know. I hoped that’s what you meant.”
And okay, he is fairly sure he’s dreaming. He probably accidentally fell asleep against him, and he’s now off in his own little fantasy world because this could not be real or happening currently. “Oh, I thought–” he pauses for a moment, trying to get a grasp on reality as his head spins and his ears burn, an increasingly steady heartbeat ringing loud in his ears. He probably looks crazy to Zizhēn, with wide eyes and his mouth slightly ajar as he thinks about what the fuck is actually happening. “Wait, you like me? Like that, too?”
Zizhēn nods his head, the apples of his cheeks tinting a slight red. “Yeah.”
Almost a bit dramatically, Jǐngyí quickly pinches his arm and, once he winces in pain, moves to do the same on his leg as well – but when he comes to the realization that he’s not asleep or dreaming, he quietly lets out a small giggle and says, “oh, good.”
Zizhēn gently grabs a hold of his hand to keep him from continuously pinching himself, though he looks a little lost as he hesitates and mumbles out, “can I – um, I can hold your hands, right?”
“Such a romantic,” Jǐngyí teases, interlocking their fingers together and guiding their hands to rest against his thighs. “Of course you can hold my hands,” he says after missing a beat, “you can do anything you want to, you know.”
Zizhēn arches an eyebrow at that. “Anything?” he asks, before the flash of confidence dissipates and once again becoming bashful as he quietly continues, “so… Can I kiss your cheek, too?”
“Yeah,” he fires back almost immediately, a bit louder than before just to hear himself over his heartbeat – and Zizhēn’s smile softens before he quickly presses a sweet, soft kiss against his cheekbone.
A small, “oooh,” is heard off to Jǐngyí’s right, and he doesn’t even have to look to know it’s Rúlán – half-awake, but nevertheless witnessing that Zizhēn just kissed him. He immediately reacts by tossing his pillow at him, hitting him square in the head with a soft thump , and Zizhēn snickers to himself when Rúlán chucks it back at them.
“For that, you have to clean the kitchen,” Jǐngyí huffs, tightening his grip on Zizhēn’s hand as he hears Rúlán mutter out some bitter retort and the sheets rustle – and then silence. Good, at least he’s ignoring them now, he thinks as he glances over to see the covers thrown back over him. He rests his head against his shoulder again and watches him idly scroll through his phone with his free hand, and he mumbles out, “how are you not tired?” before cutting himself off with a yawn that slips out.
“I technically got more sleep than you, remember?”
Jǐngyí hums, watching him launch into the Instagram app and tapping the plus sign at the bottom of the screen, creating a new post and looking through the pictures he had taken tonight. He sees the ones Rúlán eventually sent him, along with the ones he took himself and the selfies – and one that Zizhēn selects and puts a filter on is the one that he had of Jǐngyí with the frosting on his nose and the bright smile on his face. “Cute,” he mumbles quietly, trying his best to keep his eyes open now that he’s comfortable; the warmth Zizhēn provides lures him in like a lullaby, and he finds that he can’t quite escape it as he lets out another yawn. He hates feeling suddenly exhausted like this again, he knows he has to clean the kitchen, but he finds that he really doesn’t care – he’ll do it in the morning before Ā-diē wakes up – and he swears that, before he slips off into sleep, he hears a soft laugh and a whisper of a good night that he recognizes as Zizhēn’s voice.
“Jǐngyí.”
He blinks his eyes open, taking in the sunlight that pours in through the open curtains and his surroundings. He notices Sīzhuī is awake, sitting up in his bed with a slight grimace on his face and whispering out an apology, and that Rúlán and Zizhēn are still asleep – the former with blankets tossed over his face to hide from the light and the latter with his arms wrapped around him – and he almost smiles before he looks up to see his Ā-diē standing in the open doorway.
“I… Forgot to clean the kitchen, didn’t I?” A silent nod. Whoops, he thinks as he tries his best to sit up without disturbing Zizhēn, rubbing at his eye and running a hand through his hair in order to wake himself up fully. “I’ll go do it now,” he says, successfully standing up and sneaking past his Ā-diē to head downstairs only to find the kitchen still utterly destroyed from last night.
Fuck. Oh well, he can’t find it in himself to complain whenever he thinks back on the warmth that Zizhēn’s presence provided – and how he’ll be able to do that a lot more often.
He smiles to himself as he starts to work.