Chapter Text
He sat down on a pile of cushions he had brought from his house some months ago, weirdly enough, this abandoned place felt more like a home to him than his own. He sighed and made himself comfortable, too used to seeing that peeling wallpaper and those creaking floorboards. His hands were looking into his pockets as he was trying to grab his pack of Marlboro, taking one out, he lit a cigarette.
Alone, far away from his worries and troubles. His gaze was fixated on the glowing ember of his cigarette. He sighed before he exhaled, the tranquility he was so longing for was shattered by the noisy creak of the main broken door.
Startled, Zee quickly turned his head, his senses alarming him of possible danger, his dark brown eyes narrowing, positioning himself ready to fight back, too used to it. He was surprised though, when instead of a menacing frame, a small figure appeared in front of him, a child of no more than eight years old, with tears down his cheeks and disheveled hair.
Zee raised an eyebrow, and the kid, eyes wide with surprise, hesitated for a moment before quickly entering and hiding himself under the old dusty table of the living room. Zee rolled his eyes, just what I needed, he thought, another annoying thing happening to him when all he craved was a moment of peace.
“What the fuck are you doing here kid?” He asked with an irritated expression.
Stammering, the small kid cleaned his runny nose with his long sleeve, showing his tiny face still hiding behind one of the wooden legs. “I- I… I…” he wasn’t able to create a coherent sentence because he was too scared.
“Are you hurt? Can you speak?” Zee questioned, sitting down on his cushions again.
“I’m not hurt. I can speak, "the little boy said in a tiny voice.
“Good, now if you’re ok, why don’t you leave.”
“I… I prefer to stay.” The kid said, biting his lower lip.
“Look, I am already here, so why don’t you look for another place to play hide and seek, there’s plenty of empty houses in this neighborhood.”
“I am not playing…”
Zee sighed tired, his day had been shitty enough to have to deal with a weird kid.
“Then why are you here? Aren’t you too young to be alone?”
“I am smart, I know how to be alone.” The little boy said proud of himself, Zee laughed and looked at his cigarette. “Ok then, suit yourself, but be quiet.”
“I will, thank you Khun Phi,” Zee shook his head thinking that kid was too weird and polite for his age.
Zee grabbed his backpack and took out his math textbook. He was just a high school student, who despite his rugged appearance that screamed "don't mess with me," was surprisingly diligent when it came to his studies. He always scored good grades though he kept that a secret from everyone else.
He moved to the table and spread his notes on top of it. He sat on the creaking chair trying not to step on the child who was still under the table. Rolling his eyes he realized the kid was probably waiting for permission to move.
“You can get out of there, I won’t bite you Nong.”
“Thank you Khun, can I sit at the table as well?”
“Phi is enough, who the fuck says Khun to a teenager… and I already told you, suit yourself.”
“Thank you Phi,” the kid smiled and moved to the opposite side of the table. He quietly sat down and grabbed a small notebook from his pink bag. He started painting some random drawings and Zee finally could focus on his things again.
Time passed and the older one finally finished his homework, he then returned to the corner with the cushions and grabbed another cigarette. As Zee observed from a distance the kid, he realized his features were very cute; fluffy hair, chubby cheeks, and curious brown eyes made him an adorable creature. But what caught Zee's attention was the unexpected grace with which the little one carried himself. Despite the worn-out clothes and the torn backpack on the table, his movements were elegant.
“Hey Nong, what’s your name?” he asked using a demanding tone.
The little boy looked at him and bit his lip nervously, "I-I can't say my name to strangers."
"Fair enough," he said, lighting up his cigarette while chuckling. The kid wasn’t aware, but he had a small tag on his shirt with what Zee was sure was his name adorned with a flower:
NuNew 🌸 Chawarin
For now, Zee decided to play along. "Okay, then how about I call you Nong Kitty?”
“Kitty? Me?”
“Yeah, you look like a small stray cat." Zee smiled again to himself.
The child's eyes widened; maybe that teenager was not as bad as he looked. "Kitty…" he repeated, kind of happy and surprised at the nickname.
"Yeah, Kitty. So, why are you here?"
The little boy shuffled his feet, feeling tremendously shy. With a sigh, he finally spoke, "I... I got into a fight with some of the kids at the park,” he said, pointing to the door.
"Kids can be idiots, don't let it get to you. You shouldn’t care about what others say."
"You... you don't care?" NuNew asked, surprised.
"Does it matter if I do?"
He hesitated before shaking his head. "No, I guess not."
Chawarin stood up and, for the first time, gazed around the dilapidated interior of the abandoned house, his eyes growing bigger, since until that moment he hadn’t realized he was in a very old, moldy, dirty building. He turned to Zee and asked, "Is this your house, Phi?"
Zee let out a very loud laugh, "My house? Nah. If it were, I'd at least have a better couch. And better walls for sure…" He replied, peeling a piece of the wallpaper. “Do I look that poor to you?”
The boy shrugged his small shoulders, smiling in a tiny way. Zee's appearance might have been intimidating: dark hair, tall, dense eyebrows, and an air of rude aloofness, but there was something in his laughter that eased the child's fears. “What’s your name, Phi?”
“Oh, I cannot know your name, but you get to know mine? That’s not fair Kitty.”
“Ah sorry Phi, may I choose a name for you too? Maybe…” NuNew put his finger in his mouth as he thought very hard, “P’Poor? Is that ok?” He asked, smiling honestly, as he got to make a nickname for someone for the first time.
Zee couldn’t help but laugh, “Fuck no, P’Poor…fuck, what are you thinking? My name is Pruk Panich, but everyone calls me Zee, so P’Zee for you, ok?”
“Ok P’Zee.” Chawarin replied and then moved closer to Zee, sitting just some centimeters away from him. The little boy, though still cautious, felt safe in Zee's presence.
After that, they both remained quiet for a little while. The kid began painting again in the notebook on the floor and Zee, still reclined against the wall, started listening to some music. From time to time, the older one stole glances at the child who was smiling while drawing things.
It had been almost three hours since NuNew had entered the house. Pruk looked at his watch. “Hey Kitty, where are your parents?"
NuNew shook his head, "Uh uh, I don’t have a mom and dad. But I will! One day! I am just waiting until someone wants me!”
Zee looked at him very confused. “Who is in charge of you now?”
“I have teachers, and the mother of the house, they take care of us. But they said we are too many kids and they need time to work on papers, so we get to be at the park after class. But I have to be by the swings before this time” he said, showing Zee a number written in his hand. “That's when we go back." Zee's expression softened as he looked at the small hand presenting a scrawled number: 7PM. “See? I always write down the time, so I am not late.”
“When you say we and us, what do you mean?” Zee asked to be sure he understood his situation.
“Yes, me and the other kids from my house, we live in the ophranae, do you know where it is P’Zee?”
“The orphanage Kitty? The one that is three blocks away?”
“Yes! We walk here, it’s not far!”
Zee replied to him with a short nod and a small smile, not one fueled by pity. He detested the looks that carried sympathy, the kind that seemed to say, "Oh, poor boy”. He knew them too well. And while he believed the kid deserved a loving family, Zee had no intention of treating him like a fragile eggshell.
The city was falling apart, Zee had no doubt about it. Violence, drugs, extortion, and gangs were all over the news every day. Lots of kids ended up in the orphanage because their parents were either addicted to drugs, in jail, or just too broke to take care of them. The government wasn't sending any money to the orphanage, never thinking of it as a priority. The teachers and caregivers were seriously overwhelmed because they were understaffed. They were like multitasking heroes, trying to keep things together while drowning in a sea of responsibilities. Even with all their hard work, it was clear that the system was letting down the kids who needed help the most. And even though Pruk usually only worried about himself, he felt that was not fair at all.
Zee stood up and grabbed NuNew’s notebook. "Seven huh? Well, we've got a bit of time then. Want to play a game, Kitty?”
NuNew smiled widely before yelling, “Yes P’Zee!”
………………………………………
The next day, Zee found himself once again at the abandoned house.
He leaned against the structure, looking for his cigarettes in his jeans. The quiet time he was enjoying after a crazy day at school was disrupted by the soft creaking of the door, and there, framed in the doorway, stood little Chawarin.
The child's eyes, wide and innocent, met Zee's. With a bashful smile and holding tight to the straps of his bag, he asked, "Can I stay here again, P’Zee?"
Maintaining his tough exterior but feeling a softening within, Zee simply nodded. Something was soothing about that kid.
Without making a sound, NuNew found a corner to settle into, not wanting to disturb the older boy. Pruk was still astonished at how polite that kid was, which was very unusual for their neighborhood, where everyone typically yelled, cursed, and behaved poorly.
Meanwhile, the teenager lit up a cigarette. NuNew, sitting cross-legged in the corner, observed Pruk with curious eyes. However, when the smoke entered his nostrils, he quickly covered his nose, trying to avoid coughing. The scent of tobacco was stronger than he thought.
"P’Zee, why do you smoke?" Chawarin asked in a soft tone after a tiny cough.
"Mm? It's just something I feel like doing."
NuNew tilted his head. "Can I smoke too?"
"Fuck Kitty, no way! Are you crazy? You are what? Seven?” Zee said in between laughs.
“Eight! Almost nine!”
“Either way. Smoking's not for kids."
Chawarin's hopeful expression disappeared. He looked down at the dusty floor, angry he threw a small rock against the wall, pouting. “You are also a kid.”
“I am 14 Kitty, I am almost double your age. You don’t even have money to buy this!”
“Well, that’s why I asked you. You could give me one for free!” he said, trying not to cry.
“Look, it’s not good for you, okay? Anyway, why do you want to smoke?”
"Maybe if I smoked, my other 'brothers' would like me more."
Zee felt a bit guilty; he approached NuNew and ruffled the child's fluffy hair.
"Kitty, you don't need to smoke to be liked. You're just fine being yourself. Those other kids, they don't know what they're missing."
Chawarin, though still looking down, smiled.
Zee sighed and stepped on the cigarette he had in his hands. “See, I won’t smoke today either.”
The little boy smiled again and gave Zee his notebook. “Can we play again? Maybe you can draw a biiiiig candy today!” The kid enthusiastically shaped an imaginary candy with his hands.
“You really like sweets, uh?” Zee said, grabbing some colors from his bag.