Chapter Text
Y/N couldnt handle it, seeing Bobby drink everything away, watching his younger brother go down that same path.
In complete honesty, Y/N didnt know how to cope with Dean's death. It wasnt like Marys death, but it also wasnt like Johns.
Y/N just felt empty, he was far from happy, but he wasnt sad either.
Y/N had resorted to other things to try and feel something other than emptiness, something that made him feel so guilty. 'if Dean saw you doing this.. he'd be upset, disappointed even.'
Y/N watched as the blood slowly dripped down his thighs, he sighed. "great.. 'nother mess i have to clean.." He muttered to himself, watching as the blood dripped onto the floor.
he decided to grab some alcohol some type of cream and bandages. he poured some of the alcohol onto the cut, put the cream along the edges of the cut and then carefully bandaged himself.
he looked down at his body in disgust, complete hatred. his chest, still there. he was so much skinnier too, an ugly type of skinny.
you can see his ribs through his skin, he constantly forgot to eat. it wasnt on purpose, he wasnt doing this on purpose. atleast thats what he told himself.
he looked at the motel bed he was staying in, groaning. he closed his eyes and took a breath in before exhaling.
he heard his phone ringing, he debated on answering it. 'theres no point.' one side of him said, 'it could be bobby or Sam, they might be in trouble! or maybe Sam brought back dean!' another side of him said.
he looked at the callers contact. 'bobby'.
Y/N sighed softly before picking up. "where the hell have you been boy?!" Bobby exclaimed, "i have been calling and calling you! least you could do is answer."
"sorry.." Y/N said, his voice raspy and husky from barely speaking over the last 4 months. "i.. i was trying to get in a better mind space"
"Y/N, what the hell happened to you?" Bobbys voice took on the more worried father tone. He sighed as Y/N stayed silent. "Well, i need you to come over to my place. Theres a case i have for you to work on, i can explain it to you once you get here."
"Alright.. be there in 10." Y/N said, he hung up almost instantly after he said that.
Y/N decided to make himself look somewhat presentable, he put dry shampoo in his hair and then put on some clean jeans with a baggy black T-shirt. he sprayed some cologne onto himself and then washed his face.
he had around 5 minutes left, he was only gonna be a bit late. thats fine, he grabbed his car keys and his bag and got into his truck.
As Y/N drove he felt like something was watching him, he was uncomfortable and looked in the back seat only to see nothing.
Once Y/N made it to Bobby's place he took a deep breath in before knocking on the door.. that was already opened? "Bobby? Im here, what'd you need? You okay?" Y/N walked into the house cautiously.
Thats when he saw Bobby wrestling with... Something that looked like Dean. "A little help here? This shape shifter is starting to piss me off!" Bobby shouted at Y/N
Dean hurriedly hid behind a chair. "Wait! Wait! Wait! Your name is Robert Steven Singer, And you're my brother Y/N Corey Winchester." He said looking back and forth between the two. he set his eyes on Bobby. "You became a hunter after your wife got possessed , your about the closest thing that me Y/N and Sam have to a father." He said
hurriedly looking over to Y/N. "You're the middle child of our family, Came out to me and Sam that you were transgender when you were 13 and you secretly have a thing for men in jewelry" Dean rushed out again. "Bobby.. Y/N.. Its me."
Y/N went red, scoffing. "W-What? Ha! I would never.." Y/N looked away from Dean embarrassed
Bobby eyes softened and walked up to Dean, he put a hand on Deans shoulder. before Y/N came over swinging for his face, Y/N barely missed because of how quick Dean dodged. "Woah Woah! I am not a shapeshifter!"
"Then youre a revenant!" Bobby said sharply, going after Dean who was holding Y/N by the arms
Dean snatched the knife from Y/N, holding his hands up. "All right.. If i was either would i do this with a silver knife?" He put the knife to his arm and slit into his arm. He winced slightly.
"Dean?.." Y/N and Bobby breathed out, the two ran up to the hunter and hugged him tightly. "Fuck, Dede i missed you.." Y/N mumbled and squeezed Dean tightly, not even realizing he called Dean his childhood nickname Y/N made for him.
Dean chuckled and nodded, returning the embrace. "Yeah.. missed you too Y/N/N.." He pat Y/N's back before pulling off
"How.. How did you bust out?.." Bobby asked
"How are you back in one fucking piece?" Y/N's eyes furrowed, looking at his older brother, before looking at Bobby.
"Honestly? I dont know." Dean answered truthfully. "i woke up in a pine box-" Dean started before being interrupted by Bobby splashing holy water on him. "Im not a demon either yknow."
"This doesnt make sense at all.. You were.." Y/N cleared his throat "Your insides were sludge Dean, you honestly barely even had a body, and on top of all of that youd been buried for four months!" Y/N furrowed his eyebrows in confusion
Bobby shook his head "Even if you could slip out of hell and into your meats-"
"I know." Dean interrupted "I should like like a "Thriller" video reject" Dean said without humor in his voice.
"What do you remember from down under?" Y/N asked, squinting his eyes a bit.
"Not much, I remember i was a hellhounds chew toy.. Then lights out, then I come to six feet under, that was it." Dean shrugged
Y/N looked at Dean skeptically, he could tell Dean was lying. It was hard to tell, but Y/N understood talking about hell would be a hard topic so he didnt say anything.
Dean turned to look over at Y/N "Sam's number's not working.. He's uhm.. He's not?.."
"No hes alive as far as I know, talked to him atleast a week or so ago" Y/N shrugged, looking at Bobby who was staring daggers into him. "What?" Y/N asked defensively
"So you can call eachother, but not pick up the damn phone when i try to make sure you idjits are okay?" Bobby scoffed in annoyance, shaking his head. "Unbelievable."
Y/N just looked down guiltily and mumbled a sorry. "Good.." Dean sighed in relief before looking at Y/N with confusion. "Wait as far as you know?"
"Yeah? Sam hasnt been one to want to go on any play dates recently" Y/N said defensively crossing his arms. "Even then we barely talk, I tried Dean believe me."
Dean sighed and looked over at Bobby. "Dean these past few months havent been easy for sam, him or me. We had to bury you"
"Why did you bury me anyways?" Dean asked with furrowed eyebrows.
"I wanted you salted and burned, usual drill." Bobby said "But Sam or Y/N wouldnt have it." Bobby looked over at Y/N.
Y/N looked down shamefully, he sighed. "They said you'd need a body when he got you back somehow" Looking back over at Dean.
Dean looked over at Y/N. "Y/N, what does he mean?"
Y/N didn't answer and stayed quiet, Bobby glanced over at Y/N before focusing on Dean. "Both of em' were real quiet, then Y/N left to god knows where, Sam not too long after. Neither of the would return my calls. Tried to find both of em but they didn't want to be found." Bobby explained simply
"Oh damn it Y/N/N, don't tell me you or Sammy sold your soul." Dean looked over at Y/N, shaking his head.
"Dean neither of us-" Y/N tried to explain
"Y/N. We'll talk about it when we find Sammy." Dean interrupted, he rubbed his eyes with one hand out of frustration.
"Dean what makes you so sure they did it?" Bobby questioned
"It was like a nuke went off." Dean explained, Y/N decided to go to the bathroom.
Y/N didnt hear much of what they were saying once he got to the bathroom, he groaned before taking his shirt off, revealing his binder. He hasnt worn in in 3 months, there was no point at the time. "Fuck.. Really wishing i didnt pick up the phone right about now.." Y/N mumbled to himself, he furrowed his eyebrows. It felt like he was being watched again, maybe he was just being paranoid?
"You're a hunter Y/N, not some child who's afraid of the monsters in their closet damnit." Y/N muttered irritably to himself, he put his shirt back on, shaking his head before walking out.
"Y/N about time you left that bathroom, we're leaving to Pontiac Illinois." Dean said looking over at Y/N. "You coming?" He arched an eyebrow, obviously expecting him to join.
"Yeah.. Uhm, I'll catch up." Y/N said, looking at Dean, when Y/N saw Dean furrowing his eyebrows in confusion he decided to explain himself more. "I have a motel booked, round 10 minutes from here, need to put my shit into my car and checkout."
"Oh, alright." Dean said, narrowing his eyes at his younger brother before looking at Bobby. "C'mon lets go."
When Y/N got to his motel room he undid his binder, immediately feeling relieved from the. "God i forgot how good it feels to take that off.." Y/N groaned softly, he eventually started packing up his stuff.
As Y/N was grabbing his favorite pocket knife and gun from under his pillow he heard a ringing sound in his ears.
'Y/N, Y/N can you hear me?' The voice said, somehow it sounded both deep and high pitched?
"Who the hell are you?" Y/N yelled in surprise, grabbing his gun.
The voice was quiet, almost thinking of an answer. 'I am Castiel, an angel of the lord.' The voice responded with.
"An angel? Seriously? You're lying, show yourself demon!" The hunter spat, grabbing the flask of holy water he had on his nightstand.
'look at your wounds.' Castiel said simply, almost trying to prove something.
Y/N furrowed his eyebrows in confusion before realizing. He went into the bathroom, he took off his jeans and looked at the bloody bandages on his thigh. He hesitantly peeled them off, to his surprise.. Nothing was there? No scars, no nothing.. Just smooth skin, well other from his scars from hunting of course. "What the hell?.."
'I need you to.. Tell Dean I was the one who raised him from perdition.' That was the last thing Castiel said before leaving.
"Hello? Castiel?" Y/N shouted out, confused. He sighed once he got no answer, the slight ringing in his head stopped as well.
"Damnit.." Y/N muttered, quickly grabbing his things and rushing to his truck, he grabbed his phone trying to call Dean and Bobby but it went straight to voicemail. "Fuckin dickheads.." Y/N shook his head, furrowing his brows as he felt himself being watched again. "Castiel?.." Y/N asked hesitantly.
No one answered, but Y/N could swear that it was Castiel. He swallowed and sighed, he grabbed onto the steering wheel. It was going to be a long drive.
When Y/N made it to Pontiac Illinois he was told they were going out to see a psychic to see who and what pulled Dean out of hell, Y/N decided that he would go with them.
Yes Y/N knew who and what it was.. He was curious on what would happen. He knew it would be better to tell them, thats always what had seperated them three in the first place. Not being honest.
So Y/N decided to tell them. "Oh wait Sam Dean, before you hang up.. That thing, uh whatever it was that pulled Dean out of hell.." Y/N hesitated before continuing. "It contacted me, There was ringing in my ears but i could understand it. It told me that its name is Castiel and that its an angel of the lord." Y/N tried to say, it sounded like nonsense in all honesty.
"An angel of the lord?" Dean scoffed. "Was it a gold or wooden harp?" Dean smirked, he shook his head and hung up.
"Dean im serious-" Y/N furrowed his eyebrows as he heard the click of the call ending on the other line. "Dickhead.." Y/N muttered under his breath.