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You were walking through dark alleys. The wound on your stomach was bleeding, and you knew that you didn't get much more time. You took a few more steps and leaned your back onto the stone wall, breathing heavily. The sky was grayish hue, the one that could easily change into any other color if you squint your eyes. It made you remember that one particular evening, when you fell in love.
Oh, what a perfect day
Why do you have to go away?
11 years earlier
You were going around in circles. Although you were in the school for almost three months, you still couldn't learn your ways around the place. If Nanami or Haibara weren't around you, there was a 100% chance that you'd get lost. You sighed, and then you saw someone sitting under the tree. You breathed a sigh of relief and came closer.
— Excuse me… — You said, but stopped in the middle. The boy under the tree was napping. You looked at him curiously.
You met him maybe a week or two after you joined Jujutsu High. Second-year student, Geto Suguru. Of course, you knew about him and Gojo Satoru after Haibara got comfortable with you - so almost immediately. The two most promising students, "the strongest". They always made you feel kind of insecure, especially when you got to know, that you used similar technique to Geto but weren't as talented as him.
You never got to talk to each other too much, as he and Satoru went on missions pretty often, and when not, they rather hung out in their class trio. However, they never turned away their underclassmen—at least that feeling you've gotten from your interactions with Shoko, and Haibara's amazement of two other upperclassmen. However, you never talked to them by yourself because you were too shy to meet new people. But you were curious, especially since you knew that there was someone who could understand your problems.
— You're staring, you know? — He opened one eye and smiled at you. You never thought of that before, but he looked pretty.
— Sorry, I got lost in thought. — You answer, feeling embarrassed.
— So, what did you want to ask about? — He shook off the dust from his pants as he stood up. So he wasn't sleeping earlier.
— I just wanted to ask about the way to the dorms. I got lost. — You scratched your neck, embarrassed even more. He raised his brow.
— Didn't you join like three months ago? — When you nodded, he chuckled. — Terrible orientation in the field, I suppose? You've gone way off. — He said, and you nodded with a painful expression. — Come on, I'll walk you then.
— Thanks. — You smiled, grateful. It was nice to have company, and well, he probably wasn't as scary as you firstly thought.
You've walked in silence for a few moments.
— So, how do you feel after those months in here? — He asked curiously.
— Well, for sure, better than before. But... well, the problems I'd had earlier changed into other ones. — You sigh.
— Let me guess. Curses? — He smiled gently. You nodded. After the moment, it was you who asked.
— Is it getting easier with time? — Suguru looked at you with an enigmatic expression.
— I would like to indulge you, but honestly, no. But it's not getting worse either. Though, maybe I've gotten used to it. — He shrugged. — Although they do taste terrible every time. — He made a face, and you laughed.
— Don't even tell me about that. I can't even eat bitter things on a daily basis. I was throwing up for the first month, every time I had to swallow a curse. — You could feel the bitter aftertaste even at the thought of that. — But nights are the worst. He raised his brow curiously.
— Nights? — You nod.
— Yeah, I sometimes hear them talking to me. — You shivered and saw his surprised expression. — You don't?
He shook his head.
— Then you're lucky. — You sighed.
— I can guess they don't say nice things.— He patted your head. His touch was nice, and you felt safer under his hand.
— It would be nice if they did. — You sighed once more. He looked at you in silence for a moment.
— You've got a phone? You nodded. Suguru motioned with his hand for you to give it to him. You fished out the device from the pocket of your uniform and gave it to him. He quickly pushed a few buttons and returned it to you.
— If you have trouble falling asleep next time, you can text me. Or call. I usually stay up pretty late. You nodded, surprised by his offer.
— I'll remember that. — Suguru smiled at your answer and ruffled your hair.
— Good. Then, I think I can leave you here, right? — He asked jokingly, and you saw that you stood before the entrance to the dorms. — Or will you get lost in here too?
— No, I'll be fine. I already memorized the way to my room. — You joked.
— Good. It wouldn't be good if you made it to Satoru's room by accident. — He joked back. You were standing in silence, grinning at each other for a moment.
— Well then, thank you once again. — You bow your head slightly. Suguru laughed. His laugh was like a music to your ears.
— No problem. — He smiled and turned around. He took a few steps, and when you turned around, you heard him stopping in his tracks. — Well, if you get lost in the future, you can call me too. — He chuckled and you puffed your cheeks.
— I won't! — You said as you turned your head around and stuck out your tongue at him. He laughed, and time stopped for a second. The sky behind him was grayish, contrasting with his dark figure. It kind of gave you the feeling that the scene you see could be the counterpart to Monet's 'Sunrise'. You blinked, turned around and went to your room with a quickly beating heart. But the scene was burned out in your memory, and you knew that you wouldn't forget it.
When you touch me, yeah I feel butterflies
I'm gonna love you till the day I die
It didn't take you much time to get closer after that day. Even though, you weren't sent on the mission together, you always found time for yourselves. Be it just going to the city, hanging together in your rooms, sparring together or exchanging experiences, it made you more and more aware of your feelings. He knew your thoughts about the future — honestly, you weren't only unsure if you, as a sorcerer, had any future; you were also unsure if what you were doing was worth your lives. After all, why should you protect people who don't even know how much you have to sacrifice in order to help them? He always disagreed — he probably was used to that, because it was the only thing you've always agreed with Gojo. Suguru always explained why it wasn't the way you should look at it, and it didn't take him much time to convince you.
You also knew he liked you - you weren't sure if more than just a friend, although you had your suspicions that he thought you were at least attractive. Because, why would he let you kiss him when you once said you were curious how it felt otherwise? Being shy was the thing that prevented you from going out and mingling with people, but it didn't make you less curious than any other teenager. When you once said that you weren't exactly interested in dating itself, but you wanted to try certain things, and you wanted to do them with the person you trusted, he jokingly offered his help with that. But the joke itself turned into reality some time later. First kiss, first more intimate touch, first night - he took it all from you. Or, as you should rather say, you gave them to him. Did he know you were in love with him? You didn't know, never asked, and you never confessed either. You were comfortable with things being as they were, maybe quietly hoping in the corner of your mind that they would change a little in the future. But the hope was too small to take up much space in your thoughts and make you overthink. At least to that one day, when everything fell apart.
When you cut me, you cut me like a knife
I wanna tell you, but I'm terrified
After that one mission, you knew, that something had changed. It wasn't only Satoru who changed — although he did it in a more visible way. But Suguru didn't let it out as much as his friend. You could feel that, in his slightly changed opinion, his doubts mirrored yours, the ones that were ironically changed by him months earlier. He isolated himself - not too much for any of you to get suspicious, but enough for you to get worried. You sometimes asked and told him if he needed to talk, you and the others would be here to listen. He always smiled, saying that he'd remember that, and you didn't push him further. And that particular night, when hell went loose, you regretted. Regretted, that you didn't push further, that you let him convinced you that things were fine, that he dispelled your doubts in the past, because you couldn't follow him anymore. You switched places, and you couldn't do anything about that. That feeling wounded you more than any wound you've gotten in a battle. Even if you knew in the depths of your heart, that if he said anything to you, you wouldn't be able to change his mind. And after the evening when Shoko and Gojo met with him, your world kind of fell apart. Cause, either your existence eventually was so insignificant to him that he didn't feel the need to say anything to you in the end. Or he didn't want to hurt you more, but you couldn't and didn't want to believe that, because false hope will just make you believe in things that wouldn't happen.
Now the sky's so grey
I think I'm gonna be okay
Now, that you were sitting with your back leaned against the wall, holding on to the last thread of consciousness, bleeding out, you felt it was kind of ironic. If he hadn't convinced you to change your thinking back then, you could be on the same side right now. Kinda sad that after he did that, he changed his ways, and you couldn't go back. You opened your heavy eyes and looked in the sky. Then you heard talking from the behind the wall, and your heart sank, as you instantly recognized them. You couldn't focus on the words, but you heard their last exchange. You gasped slightly when you heard the slash. That made Gojo hear you. He walked to the place you were sitting moments later.
— You... - He just looked at you. You smiled sadly.
— Ironic, right? — You laughed in a raspy voice. The blood made a pool around you. You saw him coming closer, and you shook your head. — Leave me here. Just say that I wasn't here when you finished the job.
He sighed.
— The two were always so stubborn. Are you really sure about that? — You just nodded in response.
— If I die now, maybe I'll catch up with him. — You laughed weakly. — Maybe I'll finally have the chance to put some sense in his pretty, but full of nonsense, head.
Gojo snorted, but you saw from your half-lidded eyes that his expression didn't match the laugh.
— I'll take care of him in his next life, don't worry. — You say weakly, and he said nothing as he stood up.
— Are you really sure about this? — Satoru asked for the last time, and you just smiled.
— I just think, it's a good day to die.