Chapter Text

Sa’tari’s POV:

A few days ago I got asked what my biggest fear is ‘the unknown’. I lied, well I do fear the unknown but it’s not my biggest fear. My biggest fear in reality is something I'm supposed to look forward to, to love, to yearn. 

Being nothing more and nothing less than someone’s wife, a mother, a witch with the name of another. That’s my biggest fear. 

As a pure-blood, my parents made sure to ensure a match long ago, that's how I, Sa’tari Evergreen, became engaged to some cousin who's name I never bothered to learn. I mean what does it matter whether or not I know the name of my fiancé, if he doesn’t drop dead before the wedding, I’m killing myself. 

I know that seems a bit drastic, but what else can I do? I can't refuse the parring, it would be seen as disgraceful. I would be disowned and without my family's name and money I wouldn't survive for long, especially if I’m disowned and a disgrace to my family line. So I can’t say no, which other options are there.

I could run away, but when it's discovered I ran away, my parents would once again disown me, once again I would be a disgrace. I have no money of my own so I would need to find a job. 

But no one would hire me for the fear of association with a disgraceful pure-blood brat. So that means if I ran away, I would need to run far away. Where my face isn’t known, that way I could disguise my identity. 

There are only 2 things, 

1, how do I get that far without money and without being recognized. Once I get recognized it’s over, I have no doubt someone would bring me back to my parents expecting a prize for bringing back their rebellious daughter.

And 2, I would never see anyone or anything dear to me ever again. I would be a witch using someone else’s name. My biggest fear remember.

So running away isn’t an option either. Anything else I could do?

….

There is one other thing, my fiance could undergo an accident. That would mean getting my fiance out of the equation, while still keeping my family name and the money and recognition that comes along with it. 

Staging a murder as an accident however is the real issue with this flawless plan. Poison could work. 

Where do I get poison without people knowing it was me who bought the poison and gave it to the victim. Unless I find a solution to those two problems poison won’t work.

He could trip and fall. But how do I make him trip just so that the impact is lethal without being suspicious. I clearly have a motive to kill him. Which means if he trips and fortunately dies, while alone with me I would be charged with the murder. And still won’t be much further than before, except now I’m in prison. But I can't try to do it while there are multiple people around, for you don’t want to leave any witnesses if you commit such a heavy crime as murder. 

Okay so unless someone else murders my fiance that is not an option either. Involving other people in a murder is reckless; they could turn you in, or blackmail you to do other illegal shit. No, if someone should be responsible for my fiancé’s death it should be me.

I continue to ponder about this, trying to look at the obstacles from a different perspective, never does it end up in my favor. There is no solution where I come out completely fine. There is always something that makes sure I end up helpless or still engaged and eventually married to that piece of shit who is my fiancé.

I sit in the library quietly working on the essay I need to turn in by the end of the week. Several books lie open on the table all noted with sticky notes; scribbled with ideas, thoughts, hypothetical questions and notes expending on what the paragraf already included. 

I take my school work quite seriously. I look back at the mess that is the table I'm using. Okay maybe ‘quite’ wasn’t the correct word, more like ‘obsessively’. studying and doing school work does take my mind off the fucked future thats ahead of me, unless I get distracted and start fantasying about my fiancé’s death. like I did just now. 

Can you really blame me for picturing the death of the man that is stealing my future. He might not be actively stealing my future, but our marriage would be the end to my freedom, my sense of self, I would no longer be an individual. In this marriage I’m a glorified baby machine, destined to pop out child after child so my fiancé can continue his family line.

I'm pulled out of my thoughts by a chair being pulled back and someone taking a seat next to me. Confused about who decided to interrupt my study session, I looked up only to be met with the handsome face of the half-blood known as Tom Riddle. Who has managed to gather a group of loyal followers among the pure-blooded Slytherins. 

I have to admit that is quite an impressive feat for a half-blood to achieve, when most of those pure-bloods are pure-blood supremacists. And therefore should despise someone with his blood status.

“Can I help you?” I ask when Tom stays silent observing the messy table.

“No, but I believe I actually can help you.” He responds with that oh so charming and soothing voice, if he was a pure-blood I would have thrown myself at him already. gathering my thoughts before responding. 

“Help me with what?” I ask half laughing half confused, wondering what an orphaned half-blood could help me with.  

“With that little fiancé situation you’re in.” He says while turning his head towards me, and I almost let out a gasp with the intensity of his eye contact. I forget how to think for a while, getting lost in those oh so elegant dark eyes. 

“I’m afraid I don’t understand what you mean.” I say when I remember how to function as a human again. 

Is it wrong of me to assume that Tom can’t help me due to him being a half-blood, kinda, just a little, maybe a lot. Half-bloods just don’t have as much influence in the wizard world as a pure-blood, but then again he did gather a group of loyal pure-blood followers. So he does have influence. I don’t know, I’m not going to break my mind trying to figure it out.

He chuckles softly at my words, still looking me in my eyes. I swear it is almost as if Tom was sent by some higher power to test my control. 

No, stop, he's a half-blood, I shouldn’t think about him like this. But one cannot control one’s thoughts, only if they act upon them or not. As long as I don’t act upon these desires it’s fine. 

“I’ve heard on the grapevine that your fiancé isn’t an angel.” He says, well he’s not wrong. I haven’t met that many times with my cousin, but the times I have he indeed doesn’t give the impression of an angel. Rather that of a spoiled brat, who never ever got told ‘no’ once in his life. And the stuff he said didn’t help his profile either, ‘I need a submissive wife, can’t have her making trouble’, ‘Once you’re my wife don’t even think about defining me.’, ‘Nothing is wrong with disciplining your wife when they act up.’. Just to mention a few. 

I stay silent, waiting for him to continue his point. Fidgeting with my sleeves under the table so Tom doesn't notice, I don’t want him to think I’m nervous even though I certainly am.

“What if I told you I can get you out of that situation?” He says his tone turning more serious, how is that even possible. Even so his words make a shiver run up my spine. 

What, could he truly or is he just messing with me. Getting his amusement from giving a desperate girl false hope. Could be a possibility or he genuinely has a way out that isn’t suicide. If I had a way out and would offer it to someone else, I would ask for something in return. So what does Tom want in exchange?

“Hypothetically speaking. What would you ask for in return?” I ask skeptical of his offer to help me. I shouldn’t have said hypothetically, that's so weird. Why can't I just act like a normal person. Now Tom will think I'm such a weirdo. Wait, why do I care what a half-blood thinks of me. He is still a half-blood, no matter how handsome he might be. 

He takes a deep breath in while moving the books to the side a little. I watch him with curiosity, why is he not answering? It’s because he thinks I’m weird, right? Or is he simply contemplating his answer. I don't have to wait much longer since he speaks up seconds later.

“Hypothetically speaking, I would ask for your loyalty and a favor.” My loyalty? Why would he ask for such a little thing? Just my loyalty in exchange for getting me out of this engagement. No wonder he won over his followers so easily. Loyalty is a small price to pay for something as big as murder. The confusion must be readable on my face as he lets out one of those sweet-as-a-berry chuckles. If it was possible I would cast a spell to trap that magnificent sound so only I can ever hear it again. 

I find myself wanting to say yes without question when I think about it. No fiance, no trapped future, no expectations of grandchildren so soon and keeping the privilege and safety of my family name. 

when I remember the last part of his sentence 

'And a favor.’ What kind of favor could he be looking for which wouldn’t be guaranteed with my loyalty. If he wanted me to act like a spy and gather intel my loyalty would be enough of a vow to do that. 

This time I actually try to keep my face neutral, I’m sure Tom can still read my thoughts and feelings off of my face. But at least I was trying now.

“What kind of favor are you talking about?” I say hoping that my voice sounds as calm as I intend it to be.

“And how do you intend to get me out of my engagement?” I add a bit rushed. I want, no need, to know just how he plans to do this before I accept. 

“There are many ways to avoid marriage by alternative means then suicide.” he states a little too casually.  How the fuck does he know that was my plan? Better question, how did he know I wanted out of this engagement? Better better question. Why did I not question that before, are my fake smiles and faked pleasantries really that obviously fake. Even better question, what alternative means has he found? Does he mean for me to get knocked up? No, that is not a possibility for me, I would be disowned and disgraced. And left with a child to raise,  that's even a worse outcome than being married to that prick.

“You want me to get knocked up?” I ask in disbelief, needing the assurance that is not what he meant by ‘alternative means’. 

He scoffs, it almost looks like I offend him by suggesting something so silly as that.

“In many situations, yes, that would be an easy way to get out of a marriage you don’t want.” He starts off, I notice how careful he chooses his words, never recommending me to do something only stating facts. He is playing the game, and he's good at it.

“I can even point you to a few nice guys right now who would be more than willing to ‘knock you up’.”. Did he just mock me? I think he did. What is he doing, if he wants my loyalty, why mock me? 

The thought of these ‘nice guys’ being even close to me in any way makes me want to throw my lunch contents in the toilet bowl.

“There are other ways of course.” he continues, he has my attention again. It was so easy how he got my attention again. I should be disgusted with myself, but I want to hear what these ‘other ways’ could be.

“Weddings are regularly canceled due to tragic ‘ accidents ’.” The way he said accidents definitely means he is talking about murder, and not some ‘accident’. 

He would get me out of my engagement by murdering the person I’m engaged to. I did consider murder before, but it was too risky. I have an obvious motive, I wouldn't be the first to murder their fiancé. And involving someone else was too dangerous, as they could betray and turn me in. But Tom was the one who proposed it so maybe it is an option now. just in exchange for my loyalty and a favor. Oh my Merlin, Tom never answered what kind of favor he was talking about. Why did he avoid answering that question, is it such a huge favor he thought i would immediately turn him down without hearing him out first. 

That has to be it, why else would he avoid answering my question.

“you didn’t answer my question about that favor?” Wait, no. Let me re-do that. The way I said that, made it sound accusenary. Ugh, why can’t I ever do things right the first time. I did not mean it in that way. Intention doesn’t matter when you already have done something. 

But before I could apologize for my mistake, Tom’s angelic voice speaks up again. 

“You’re right I didn’t.” While he speaks I search his face and body language for any sign he has taken offense. I find none, which either means he’s really good at hiding his emotions (I could never) or, he hasn’t taken any offense. 

“The favor I would ask for is something precious and valuable. I didn’t want to scare you off with the immensity of this favor.” Once again he’s choosing his words carefully. Just giving me a vague enough idea to keep my interest in orbit, without, in his words ‘scare me off’. 

“What is it?’’ I ask slightly annoyed with how avoidant he is. “Name your price.” I say grabbing a notebook from the table and a pen to write down this ‘precious and valuable favor’. So I can research if it's worth it. I have no doubt that I will be able to get whatever it is he wants. After all he is not the only one with connections.

“You aren’t quite understanding.This wouldn't cost you money or something Material.” At his words I look up trying to figure out his play. what does he mean ‘it wouldn’t cost money.’ What costs no money but is precious and valuable? Merlin’s beard Tom Riddle is living up to his last name. 

I laugh at my own joke in my head. I stop quickly. This is not the time to be joking, I've got to keep focused.

“You would need to provide something… Tangible. ” A shiver ran up my spine in the pause. I opened my mouth to question what he meant. But Tom Riddle beat me to it.

“A small favor is all I ask for. I assure you it would be nothing to be concerned about.” 

There he goes avoiding the question once again. Of course this couldn’t be easy, nothing in my life would ever be easy.

“What kind of favor?” I repeat my question from before, distrust seeping into my tone. I won’t be willingly to swear my loyalty if I don’t know what that fully means. Only a moron would do that.

“Just a little thing, Really nothing at all.” If it was nothing at all and ‘just a little thing’ why was he so worried about saying it. 

“I need you to be a very special girl and do a very, very special thing for me. Can you do that?” Tom smiles knowingly as he finishes speaking. As if he already knows the outcome of this conversation. 

Oh those dimples that appear when he smiles are something else. I still stand by my opinion that Tom is made to test the resolve of every girl on this planet.

However his looks aren’t enough to keep my suspicion at bay, as especially with how long he is taking to tell me what this favor would be.

“Depends on what this special thing is.” I practically hiss out, and immediately regret it. I shouldn’t let my feelings get the better of me. Guess I just need to meditate more like that one aunt suggested. 

However it seems Tom takes no offense, as he is chuckling? finding this amusing? 

“In all honesty,” Yes all honesty please, you have been dancing around this for far too long. I grab my pen again, ready to write it down.

“It’s nothing too big. I mean, what I’m asking for is something every girl does for their partners. It’s not at all uncommon. I’m surprised you haven’t done this for your soon to be husband already.”

The longer he speaks, the more I sink back into my chair and lower my pen. I let out a disappointed sigh. 

of course , of fucking course, Tom, a man, Would want sex in exchange for murdering the current competition. 

However let me not jump to conclusions. Maybe my stupid brain didn’t catch everything he said. Maybe he meant something completely different. Maybe I did hear correctly and maybe I’m smart enough to realize what it is he truly wants. For the first time in my life I wish I was stupid.

“You want us to have..” How do i word this, if he doesn’t mean that if I’m a creep. And if he did mean it, I would be stupid for not catching on.

“to have.. intercourse. ” I say eventually after a very weird and awkward pause. I’m praying to every god I’ve ever heard of, that Tom didn’t mean that. 

Instead of my prayers being answered, Tom starts chuckling and his eyes fill with gleeful excitement.

"Well, well. I didn’t even need to spell it out. Seems I have a clever little bird in front of me.”

There is so much in that statement alone that I don’t even know where to start dissecting. 

‘Clever little bird ’ he called me, I’m not an animal. He better lose this nickname, it’s not a very good one. At least he thinks I’m clever. No, don’t take a compliment from a man who is manipulating you into sex.

Before I can object to his proposal he continues.

“Now, you'll want to protest of course. That’s Understandable.” Oh, so he does know just how ridiculous this is.

“But remember. I’m really the only chance you have of being free of your horrible predicament. And who knows, you might even enjoy what I have to offer.”

Ugh, I hate my life. Am I really going to fuck a half-blood just to get rid of my fiancé. Why am I even considering the obvious answer is no. But it would get rid of my problems, and just how bad can having sex with Tom Riddle be? 

Let me wager the Pros and Cons. Then I can properly decide.

Cons:

• I would need to have sex.
• This would be done with a half-blood.
• If it was found out, I would still be a disgrace.

Pros:

• I would have sex with Tom Riddle.
• I would no longer be engaged to an abusive man
• potential ally?

That didn’t help much.

Tom is a man, a man would never be satisfied with just one quick and done. Or at least all the men I know wouldn’t. I should propose just doing it once, and see his reaction. Then based on that I can make a decision.

"Just once.” I begin a little unsteady. “We’ll have intercourse once and you will get rid of my fiancé.” I say, I had to try for just once. He most likely won’t accept. What will I do when he doesn’t? Well, I don't know yet. Guess I will have to put those improvisation skills to use.

Tom chuckles once more, whether from amusement or how desperate I am, I can not tell.

“So eager to make up rules for me. It's so cute.” Okay so it was from amusement then.

“We won’t just do it once. After all, you’re the one who needs me .” He says amusement practically rolling off his tongue along with the sweet words. 

“Don’t worry, I won’t ask everything of you all at once. I can be patient.” The words of a manipulator mixed with sweet honey. The most common combination you will find at a get together with pure-bloods in attending. It seems half-blood Tom Riddle has figured out just the right balance, as I find myself agreeing with what he says.

I turn my pen around in my hand, trying to figure out a ratio that would make me be able to live with myself while pleasing Tom enough to go through with killing my fiancé. 

I wouldn’t mind having sex with Tom if he wasn’t a half-blood. That I’m even considering would disappoint my family. My family is very dear to me, no matter what they ask of me. I could never hate them, they’re my family. I don’t want to disappoint my family. 

I can’t lie to myself Tom is handsome, and has a decent personality if you ignore his manipulative tendencies. If he was a pure-blood I would have no doubt that he would probably receive a marriage proposal on the daily. But sadly he isn’t. Which makes it a shame if I engage in such activities with him. 

“How about thrice a week?” I ask, hoping that’s enough to satisfy the hungry desire he carries with him. 

I know he will not negotiate with me, he holds all the cards. He will just keep refusing until I say the amount he’s looking for.

“Thrice a week?” He says in a way which I can’t tell if he thinks it's not enough, or if he thinks I must be really desperate to get rid of my fiancé. His facial expression doesn’t tell me much either.

“You truly are ambitious. I didn’t imagine you’d be so willing to give yourself up for what you want. I can admire that” Tom says it almost like it’s a compliment instead of the derogatory insult it truly is. 

“I wonder just how far you’ll go.” There it is again that glint of amusement in his beautiful eyes.

“If you promise me once a day, I’ll take care of this whole fiancé situation this week.” He looks back to the window almost as if this conversation isn't interesting to him at all. Like he much rather be anywhere else.

Once a day.. Fuck. That’s way more than I would consider. But I would no longer be engaged to an abusive man, which I know that if I marry him my life will be hell. While gaining a potential ally. And keeping my family name. Just one more thing.

"For how long?” I ask, needing to know just what Tom Riddle has in mind. I mean sex once a day for a few weeks I can manage. If I can’t then I would end up with my fiancé which is not an option. And suicide looks less appealing by the minute. 

Once a week could go on for weeks, months or years, I don’t know how long he has in mind. Guess I have to wait until he answers.

“We can start with a few months. That sounds reasonable right?” he says in a way that makes it almost sound like he is challenging me to disagree. 

Tom chuckles softly to himself watching my face carefully. My expressions and tone must indicate that I’m already starting to regret my decision, but trying to make it sound like it wouldn’t be so bad, because what else could get Tom Riddle to laugh at me.

I let out an annoyed sigh. Why does everything have to be so difficult? Why can’t he just give me an answer like a normal person would.

“I need exact numbers, Tom. How many months of once a day?” I’m not about to get fooled into an agreement that would go on forever as Tom never specified how many months a few are. For all I know he considers 24 months a few. Or another big number. 

Tom takes a small moment to think, once again moving my books, rude.

He takes a deep breath before answering.

“I was thinking somewhere around three. You can do that, can’t you, little bird.”

There he goes again with that stupid nickname. 

Three months, twelve weeks or ninety days. having sex with Tom ninety times. That is way more than I had in mind originally. Is having sex with him ninety times really that bad? As long as no one finds out my reputation is fine. I should make one final request. Just one last request to try and fool myself into believing this isn’t that bad.

“You won't hurt me in the process.” Seems like a fair request any sane person would make. I can manage three months of sex once a day as long as I’m not harmed, right? Well if I can’t the only other option is suicide, and that not looking that tempting when I can live if I just have sex with Tom ninety times. And swear my loyalty to him. Yeah, that is way more inviting than killing myself. 

“Promise me you won’t hurt me or order someone else to hurt me. And we will have intercourse every day over the next Three months. I’ll stay loyal to you. In return you get rid of my fiancé.” I recite the entire thing so we are both clear on what it is we’re agreeing to.

Tom seems to be in thought tilting his head back, most likely considering if it’s worth it.

"Very well.” He says after what felt like an eternity. “You have my word. I promise not to harm you myself, or order someone else to do it. As long as you hold up your end of this bargain I will take care of your fiancé.” 

Good we are in agreement then. In hindsight this was easier than trying to kill my fiancé myself.

I nod. This is fine, this is totally okay. “Okay, we have a deal then.”I say, already regretting the once a day part already. But think about the end result, it'll be worth it.

Tom smiles and offers me his hand.

“It’s a deal then, little bird, it’s a deal then.”

So that’s it. I just sealed away my next three months. That’s fine, the result will be worth it. 

“We will start tomorrow. I’ll see you at 8, don’t be late.” Before I can respond he has walked away. Leaving me on my own, to dwell on my feelings and thoughts about this all.

Tom’s POV:

This was too easy. Honestly all I wanted was her sworn loyalty, but oh, she was so desperate I had to play around a little. We both know the moment I offered her a way out she already said yes. 

The sex is a nice bonus. I thought about asking for more, knowing she wouldn’t say no. But alas you should give your prey some room to breathe, make them feel safe. That makes the kill so much more satisfying.

I have to admit she was smarter than I imagined, it won’t make a difference whether or not the girl is smart. I hold all the cards, she has nothing to offer of worth. If she wants this, she will do it on my terms. 

However a promise is a promise, I will get rid of that fiancé when the opportunity presents itself. 

Honestly such a smart and pretty bird I couldn't have let it kill itself, that would be a waste. Not a very good plan, there were other solutions. But the desperate often seek drastic measures. 

Near the end of our agreement I should ask for more, stating I’m not satisfied enough to kill a man for. That will be fun, watching her propose more and more extreme things. Just to keep me happy. The thought puts a smile to my face. Oh I’m going to enjoy this arrangement. 

Maybe she will even back up from her stupid no harm rule. Yes that I will ask for. Watching her squirming and fidgeting as she lets me do stuff she doesn’t want. 

Now that is what I call entertainment. The poor girl will offer me whatever I want, just to get rid of her fiancé.

That man must be really horrid if she is that willing to give what I want. Well that doesn’t matter, it will just make it easier for me to convince a follower to slip a bit of poison in his cup one night. 

Tomorrow at 8, will be the start of our deal. I’ll go easy on her then. Give her a false sense of safety. When I then rip away the blanket of safety, her reaction will be all the more satisfying. I’m looking forward to it, but it will take time. As all good things it will take time. 

The waiting part will be the most boring. Might just make a plan for the next desperate girl in the meantime. There are only so many pureblood men willing to join me, so I had to go and look to the other gender. 

I should have done that much sooner, it is so much easier to convince them to join me if I can promise away their horrible future. 

Most of the male purebloods have amazing futures ahead of them. No, you have to earn their loyalty or threaten them. But fear only works for a while. And I can’t have them report me for the multiple crimes they committed on my behalf. Men however are way easier to be manipulated, girls think too much. Like my little bird did, most men would have just agreed when I said a few months. They don’t ask for exact numbers; they trust that everything will work out in their favor. 

Girls are too careful for my liking. But finding what they want in exchange for loyalty is so much easier. 

My little bird’s brain is way too easy to pick apart even if I hadn’t mastered legilimency, I’m sure I could have figured out what she was planning anyway.

She’s practically an open book. Anyone paying attention would have noticed. She needs to learn how to play the game of life better, if she wants to achieve something with her sad pathetic life. At least she’ll be serving me, that in itself should be viewed as an honor. 

Serving the Dark Lord, when he was still a schoolboy. One of my original servants. Now that is a title my little bird could easily get, if only she plays by my rules. 

As I leave the library I turn around, for one last glimpse of the regret on my little bird’s face. Instead I am met with a filthy mudblood approaching her. And she is smiling…. at the mudblood. 

I must be imagining things, she’s a pureblood, they don’t speak to mudbloods, and they definitely don’t smile at them.

Does the fucker not know she’s engagend. She isn't available for some hook-ups. 

The imbeciel should be talking to another mudblood, then he wouldn’t stain the intricate work of many pureblood families trying to preserve their bloodlines.

Mudbloods are like clouds, when they’re not there it’s a lovely day. Taking away all the light and warmth when they are there.

Does he honestly think he has a chance with a prestigious pureblood like my little bird.

Pathetic really.

The more important question should be why is she smiling at him? One would expect with her type of upbringing she would hate the filthy thing as much, if not more, than I do. I can’t write it off as just pleasantries as they have been talking for way longer than considered appropriate for a simple ‘hello, how are you? I’m doing good’. 

What are his intentions? No, Why am I irked at him for talking to my little bird. She is just a means to an end. Getting just one more follower. Bettering my reputation. She in herself has nothing special about her, just a pretty face and a decent lineage. 

I shouldn’t care about who decides to talk with. Yet I do, I hate this. She is controlling my feelings, only I am allowed to do that. She must have laid a spell on me when we were talking.

But I didn’t see her wand. And she isn’t good at wandless magic, as weeks of seeing her fail at it in class has proven. She could have hid it. Yes that must be it. She hid her wand and put me under a spell. 

Now I have to go through the pesky steps of acquiring an anti-dote. I shall be more careful around her from now on. It appears my little bird has more tricks under her sleeve than I initially expected. 

That’s on me, I will never again underestimate someone again. Can’t have me losing everything I’ve built because I was careless in who to watch.

Fortunately the stupid mudblood moves away, going back to the group of snickering boys. 

It must have been a dare then. Lucky for him it seems my little bird is quite the nice person. Willing to go along with their stupid game. 

Such a shame, someone should teach her that isn’t going to be okay in the future when I rule them all. Not someone, no it should be me . I will teach her all the things she doesn’t seem to grasp, for her own good of course. 

I don’t want her to speak to any other men than me. She is my little bird . My innocent little bird. My desperate little bird. My beautiful little bird.

She should be mine, she belongs with me. 

She is mine. I will make sure of that tomorrow.