Work Text:
I am upset.
But I seem to always be upset about something these days.
I think I am wasted potential because of my families lack of money.
I live with 7 people my parents brother grandparents and two great grandparents.
It’s a lot to handle and since my mother works it seems I am the only one watching them when my father steps out. In addition to my younger brother.
Back to wasted potential, I do not have money in my family I have applied for FAFSA hoping it to cover all my college. I applied for community college but was forbid by my parents to apply anywhere else besides this one college.
I think I have two ideas why. One were poor and don’t have the money to be sending me to any college besides my local community college. Two they want me to not have a chance of living in a dorm or getting into somewhere where I couldn’t live with them. So I can still live with them watching my family. I have planned to put boundaries down on this when I am in college which will be in 6 months.
These boundaries include me not being able to skip class to watch a family member or being bothered when doing school work. I already have been pushed out of my room as of now because of my other great grandparent moving in. They keep saying it is temporary but it’s been five weeks of sleeping on the couch. They bought a new dresser for the room and bed sheets. I am being asked if my desk can be moved out of the room completely so she can have more room. I would be okay if there was a set plan on how this is temporary. Instead they haven’t said anything about where my great grandmother will go and it looks more permanent everyday as things in my room are being moved out to the garage. The only remaining things are my clothes in the closet at dresser with my pet gecko on it and pictures on the wall.
I am worried I will sleep on the couch till I graduate and beyond that into college. If that happens I will immediately consider moving out and getting a job before I graduate.
2/16/2023 <3