Chapter Text
It was funny in a way, how Marinette hadn't felt even a little bit nervous as they had headed to take down Hawk Moth. It had been a mission, their end goal, a long-delayed but not certain victory. And yet she had felt confident.
Now, on the other hand, she felt a little uncertain.
She wanted this, there was no doubt in her mind. She was done with the lies and the pile of secrets that had accumulated between her and Chat. She was ready to put all this behind and for the first time be fully honest with him. She was going to tell him who she was and... well. Everything in due time.
She was nervous but in a good way. Did he expect this? Was he as excited as her? Probably not in the same way. But he must have expected what was going to happen, right? It was the only logical conclusion. Yes, he probably knew.
Smiling to herself, she headed to their usual spot. The stars were twinkling merrily in the sky and the city was calm around her. It was perfect.
But she felt the smile slip from her face as she reached Trocadero and didn't see a dark silhouette against the lights from the Eiffel Tower. She wasn't early. She was sure.
Marinette felt her pulse pick up with unease. Something was wrong. This was not how she had envisioned tonight. She had expected him to be there, to welcome her with a smile so she could fly into his arms and open up her heart to him.
She still looked around as she landed, almost expecting him to materialise out of the darkness. No. There was no one there but her.
A familiar aroma tickled her nose and she frowned. Why did it smell like roses? Probably her mind was playing tricks on her because she had hoped that he might have another rose for her. One she could finally accept.
With a huff, she eased on the ground and crossed her legs. Her eyes were still on the Eiffel Tower, which now looked as if it was mocking her.
Then she felt her foot catch on something and looked down in astonishment.
There was a rose. And paper that crinkled when she probed it tentatively. Sitting up on her knees, she reached for what turned out to be a envelope. But it was weighted down by something other than the rose. Something round and...
"Oh God, no," Marinette cried out, scrambling to catch the Miraculous before it rolled off into the darkness. Her fingers closed around it and her heart broke.
Because it was Chat's ring. It was something she had held in her hand before and even wore on occasion. But it wasn't hers. Even as the guardian, she didn't think that she would ever claim the Black Cat Miraculous back. It belonged with him.
And yet, there it was. And he was nowhere in sight.
With trembling fingers, she put it in her yo-yo and left it open by her side to use the light as she unsealed the envelope and took out the sheets of paper.
"Kitty, why?" She said to no one at all. She knew what this was. He was telling her goodbye.
This was the total opposite of what she had expected for their meeting. Hopefully, what was written there would shed some light on the reason for this. But it was already too late. The damage was done. Losing him was already real.
Closing her eyes for a moment to collect herself, she ironed out the folded paper.
The moment her eyes read the first line, the breath caught in her throat. No way.
Hurriedly she scanned down the page, not really reading. Just making sure that she got it right.
She knew that handwriting. The angular A and the round a, the straight T and the tilted O. She had a poem written in it pinned to her board and had seen countless of homework assignments and tests with the same, familiar angle of the letters. It was painfully familiar.
A sob rose in her throat and she lifted a hand to her mouth to muffle it. Not that there was anyone to hear it.
She was all alone. Adrien was gone.
For a moment, Marinette almost gave up on reading the letter. She couldn't take it. She already knew.
But after a few minutes of letting the puzzle pieces arrange in her mind, she shook her head and focused on the words.
M'lady, it started. She paused anew, her heart almost breaking again. She had so much to regret.
I know that it's the cowardly way out but I couldn't bear to see the pity in your eyes when I told you that the enemy we both took down is none other than my father.
No, she didn't feel pity, only anger. Anger at Gabriel who had done this to his son. To her partner.
I wanted to tell you but I couldn't find the words. At any other moment you might have thought that I was joking, right? After all, how could I be Adrien Agreste? Chat Noir is nothing like him, everyone knows that.
"I was such a fool," Marinette whispered. She had failed to see it. He was right, of course. She would have thought that it was a joke.
Even after falling in love with both of them, even after getting to know him, because it was just him.
Don't beat yourself up for not connecting the dots. I did play my part well. I didn't make it easy for you or anyone else. I didn't set out to create a whole other image of myself, I swear. It just happened. Because when I finally had an opportunity to be whatever I wanted to be, I took it a bit too far. It was still me, but something I hadn't dared show anyone else before. It was surprising even to me. To the point where I still ask myself who is the real me sometimes.
"It's all you," she murmured, smiling in spite of the sadness in her heart. It made so much sense in fact.
Plagg tells me that I'm wasting time trying to explain the obvious. She snorted. He has his moments. One of his abilities is seeing through me. He was the only one I didn't have to hide with. Ever.
But I'm really sorry that I had to hide from you. It was always the thing that tortured me the most. I could lie to family, friends, teachers. But to you? I wanted you to know everything. To know me. Yes, I pretended because the rules demanded it. But I never fully agreed with it.
Now that I can finally tell you everything, I want you to know how much it hurt me. I hated when I, Adrien, was face to face with you and had to pretend that I was just a civilian, another victim, a face in the crowd. Not your partner, the one who trusted you with his life.
"You don't know even half of it," Marinette sighed. She had seen a lot more than what he had shown to Ladybug. As both Adrien and Chat. And yet, she hadn't figured it out.
I don't know if you ever wondered who I might be. Maybe you never cared. Oh, how wrong he was. But you must know that I never tried to figure out who you are. It never mattered to me. (ok, maybe I was a bit scared for a moment that you might be Chloe, don't hold it against me). Her laughter was hollow. Since we're being honest, though, finally and fully. I have to tell you that I suspected. Well, maybe it was mostly wishful thinking. After all, Multumouse and Ladybug couldn't be the same person. But in spite of that, a part of me refused to give up on that.
Her gasp was surprisingly loud now. No way! She had vastly underestimated him. She had felt so certain that her trick had done the part. Hell, she hadn't even thought that he'd need much convincing. And yet, he had known. What was more, he had wanted it to be real.
There is no point in telling you that now. You're not Marinette, right, no matter how much I want it to be true? But she was! And she was no longer nervous about telling him.
Nevermind, I got sidetracked. So, the big bad is defeated. Let's ignore the bit about him being my father. What matters is that you're now free. You no longer have to worry about bailing out on friends and family, lying to them and missing out on ordinary life. You can live the way you want to. And I'm sure that I have no place in your life.
Wrong. He was so wrong. He was everything that she needed now.
You don't need me. Not that you ever needed me. I always got in the way. But I tried. I tried to help you and be there for you and I hope this counts for something. I don't know if you'll miss me. What's there to miss anyway? The bad jokes? Seeing me die? Arguing with me? My insistent love declarations? Well, I secretly hope that there is at least some good you will remember me for.
So much. So many shared moments. His endless support. The way only he could make her laugh. The love in his eyes. The way he hugged her.
A teardrop fell on the paper but she ignored it and just turned to the other page.
Because, remember, we're being totally honest. So I can't deny that I will miss you terribly. I had to play a lot of roles and I had to pretend many times. But one thing was always real and this was that I loved you with my whole heart. I still do. Yes, in spite of everything. This is the truth that I will take away with me.
But, back to you! I know that you'll be happy. You will be free to follow your dreams and be with whoever you want to be with. We know this is not me. I'm not bitter, just being real. I really hope that you finally get your chance to be with the one you love. You deserve it!
It was him! It was all him. Marinette no longer had to feel torn. She had spent so long cursing her heart for loving two people and not being able to pick. She had wished she could break it into two but neither Adrien nor Chat had deserved only half of it. So she had put it off. She had found solace in outside forces. She didn't need to choose until they defeated their enemy. She couldn't be truly happy until then anyway. So she had waited.
She had took it as a sign that she should give up on Adrien after he had decided to leave for London after the whole debacle. He wanted to be away from everything that reminded him of his father. She understood. She had always been to afraid to confess her feelings to him anyway.
So this could mean that she could tell Chat. He was the one who made her feel comfortable in her skin in a way that made her brave and bold. With him, she could be everything she hadn't been able to be with Adrien.
But now it turned out that she didn't have to choose. She loved Chat but he was Adrien and this was amazing! She jumped to her feet in her excitement. And then she realised that he didn't know this yet.
This got out of hand, I'm sorry. I guess I'm looking for a way to postpone telling Plagg goodbye. I'll miss the little rascal and his smelly cheese. And you. Always you.
Who knows, maybe we will meet again one day. Life is funny like this.
This is it. The Miraculous is back with you, where it belongs so I can go. Goodbye, m'lady. It was an honour knowing you. Love, Adrien.
Marinette's fingers clenched around the ring as tears welled up in her eyes. No. It was his and he had to have it back. And she had to tell him.
She left the letter and the rose right there. They had played their role. Now she had to get to him before it was too late.
Even though her vision was blurry, she ran as fast as she could. To him.