Chapter Text
Sometimes, when Nickel tries to exist, he sometimes has his mind wander aimlessly into nothingness, sometimes for imagination, being bored, other times out of not comprehending the situation at hand.
He assumes that it is due to something that affects his thought process, as much as his mother tries to deny it.
Then again, a lot of things he believes he is, his mom thinks otherwise, making him sometimes think to himself he's some emotional abuser, at least back when he was at high school, some of his worst years in his life mentally.
Now he is just sitting here on a bed he doesn't recognize, with three random strangers that are inherently more than he ever is. All that he could ever be in a way.
He doesn't mind that, after all....
He is a nobody. Someone of unimportance within the grand scheme of things.
Nickel is sitting on his bed (Or rather just a bed, he mentally corrected himself), staring onto the window from the 4th floor of the hotel? Inn? He can't figure what they are exactly in, but he does know it would only last for one night before they have to move for their ongoing unofficial investigation that has been lasting for a few days now, since he went into the city. Taking their, sort of illegal, stuff was easy to, security in this city is apparently on the lower end of funding, which makes him wonder as to why of all things.
He holds his double barrel shotgun on his two laps, holding it as if it was some form of treasured memory that hold meaning to something, as much as it doesn't.
He tries to scan around the room after staring at a distance for what felt like 30 minutes, finding a 12-year-old sitting on the other bed, playing with some ball that they found on the street, much to his dismay, feeling like that it was from someone who had it and that taking it would be a bit of a disservice, then again he didn't brought the idea up to them.
Her name was Haida, a Middle Schooler who was quite good at finding directions and scouting pathways all around the city, much to his surprise in a way, which became really handy in trying to determine the investigation that someone created for them to go over, only really sticking around to find her sister as she was involved in the Unbounded.
They, aka the Bat with them and himself, don't know much about herself besides that, which makes them both worried for her safety as a child, and what her whole deal is outside of her sister.
Or, at least he assumes the bat feels a similar way, he is an agent after all....
Didn't help him when he needed it though until it was almost too late since...
Nickel is-
What happened today was...... Something chased him, taking place within some caged area that was from an underground match that was f-forced to without consent, the others had to find a way to end it as he ran from
Him
He treated him emotionally like he was nothing, as if nothing more than a tool to be used before...... The way his claw pierced his hand an.....
He tries to shake it all off in his head, knowing that it is causing his anxiety to rise up, but it was too late, the rising tension inside himself is flowing upwards somewhat like an erupting volcano, causing him to breathe a bit heavy than usual, at least enough for someone to notice.
Wait.
He has a harder time breathing
Things are going around, the weather is too cloudy.
Something is going horribly wrong, and Nickel can't do anything about it, only squirm in his small imagination that he can barely do right now after what happened
Is Nickel really living at this moment? Everything that he lived for is slowly being taken away from him, all fo-
"You okay over there?", a voice came from the side of his ears, causing him to turn towards the origin, slowing down his shoulder's tenseness.
His cold, barren nocturnal eyes that only spark a simple reflection of a non-wealthy mineral gleams onto Nickels shadow, viewing with what he feels is hidden malice, always up with something deep into his mind.
Francis stands near, the agent that he thought of before, came from some organization known as "The Squadron", one of many agent groups that were birthed due to policies making the whole idea to begin with. He initially was going to drag him out to the Headquarters place for questioning, but after what happened a few or more days ago, he is kind of stuck with him for the time being due to the wanting to take part in the investigation and how the circumstances make it hard to bring him in to begin with.
He doesn't fully know why, which is something that is plaguing to his mind, not as much as he was with him.
It was, rough, to say the least, and he is still affected by how he acted to him before. Now he's just uncomfortable with him, even if he is "different" now.
If he wasn't sorry, then why does any of this even matter?
"Yeah.... I think so.", Nickel said with a bit of passive aggressiveness, wanting to look away from him, but his unusual appearance create a curiosity at the back of his mind
Well, as far as what he knows as unusual.
He places the shotgun under the bed, being discomforted in having that much weight at this point.
Francis seeks this with a bit of confusion
"Don't you think having it out like that so readily would cause some suspicions later down the line?"
"We are in a place where security is kind of bad here. I'm usually very cautious but after what happened I'm just....
He aimlessly looks around, having his eye look backwards from his sockets rather than out.
Afraid....."
He eyed him like he struck something predictable on Nickel's part, reading like a map
"Right." the bat finished that part of the conversation before he continued
"How you feeling?"
cold as ever
Nickel already didn't like where this is going, annoying him even more, but he decided to continue with it
"Used.... Not as fine? Damp. Those are the first words I could think of.", Nickel said them as if he is leaking something that he doesn't want to gush out, fearing to cause something worse if he shares it, but....
"Serviceable."
Now he is a bit pissed.
"A- What do you mean serviceable?", Nickel questioned in a pint of irritation
Francis's ear twitches for a bit upon hearing his voice before he tries to assure him
"Oh, sorry, I sometimes say that when I feel like the words someone else says to me are reasonable. Don't mind it too much.", Francis said with sincerity. If he could even guess that.
""Don't mind it too much". Yeah, I don't think that's gonna work as of now.", Nickel said, tired with these excuses at this point
"Sorry to say that, but considerin-"
He is not going to let him have it this time, even as an official enforcer and himself being a civilian.
"With how you acted throughout this whole thing, and then act all soft and tender right to when I almost died, or you too.....
He can't stand this nonsense, he is being used once more like a battery in a flashlight, sucking him dry until thrown into darkness. A horrible, suffocating darkness. Even he himself is surprised, why is he talking face to face like this to a complete stranger who has higher authority over him. What the fuck is he even thinking?! What does have left to lose exactly?
It's almost as if only events of me needing to "prove something" is what it takes for you to be decent with me, akin to asshole teammates in some battle movie, rather than who I am as a person. It's one thing to be suspicious about me popping up to you, but it's another to be constantly condescending and mentally throwing me under the bus when I rarely did anything to you. What do you....
Nickel realized that a child is already near them in the same room he is arguing with Francis to, which might upset the whole situation
But its hard to really keep his emotions to himself at this point
What the fuck do you even take me for?", Nickel doesn't realize he is semi-tearing up
Francis, surprisingly, makes a face to what seems like a bit of surprise and shock. As if him being so quiet to the bat all this time is somehow going to stay that way after what has happened, maybe even ticking his ego.
Great, ego ticking.
He sighs, posturing his arms on his hips as he looks up to the ceiling, seemingly trying to clear his head for a moment.
"Yeah. You're right.", he doesn't even look at him
He begins to walk to his side on the bed, but the other immediately pushes himself farther away from him, not wanting to show any sign of affection to him, because to Nickel, affection is not worth him.
"Right.... About what?"
"It was very obvious to begin with that you were just someone who got in the wrong place at the wrong time.... I focused so much on the investigation, and the whole assignment, that I forgot that not everything is.....
Part of this operation, that I am putting my all into knowing just what is going on. You were scared, clearly never used a firearm in your life, and were deeply affected by what I say, and others, every single time."
Nickel can't help but feel like the small bit of him being deeply affected is an insult, as if to say that he is less than others for being "naive" based on emotions and reactions that are inherit to him
"Yeah, I am. I always am. My whole life is like that.", Nickel tries to slow down, but can't lessen his burst of emotions
"Pardon?"
Nickel took the chance to look at him, seeing something that is more that what he remembers of his furred face before. Its vague, but notable at the same time
"I always think about what other people say, because to me, every single decision to speak something from your mouth is most of the time, for a reason, with a few exceptions like being drunk, or under influence. When someone says something that hurts me, I feel like its mostly intentional if it was obvious enough, like the context, and what words they use under that context and why. Why else would they say it among other things?"
Francis looks a bit around the room, clearing thinking rather than viewing the room itself
"I think I understand what you are saying.... My mind doesn't really work like that, at least not like yours."
"Obviously, people mock me for it. For being "over sensitive". For feeling more about how others act, as if I am not just wrong, but evil too......"
Nickel feels that bit in his mind, the one he desperately wants to forget. All those moments online that treated him like he was just another "Monster of the week" only to be thrown into that dark once its all over with, with no one to talk to him about how he feels.
It's a nightmare coming back to bite him again, and again, and again, a-
"Nickel....", he hears a hand placed on his shoulder, it feels rigid and as if said hand is confused to what its doing
He looks at him in the face, realizing that his chest is being bursted like butterflies, the sneezing kind
"I....
Francis clears his throat as he tries to go on a softer approach
I shouldn't had left you into being picked for that match. You were putting yourself onto a corner in that room, shaking like a leaf. I didn't consider that...."
He left his mouth open for a ticking tock of a few seconds, struggling to pipe open his throat. He begins to put his hand on his forehead as he lowers himself down. " Why..... Why did I...", he whispered to himself
Nickel, despite this emotional outburst that he is beginning to feel, notices something off, as if leaving it out would have rather, wider consequences mentally
"Wait a minute. I thought I was suspicious of you? Since I acted all odd and unusual tha-"
"That's because my realization meant that you weren't under anything. Sure, you did illegally went into the city here, which I would've immediately send you to the authorities. At this point however, you deserve more than those people.", Francis picks himself up and interrupts Nickels questioning
"Wh- I thought people like your job don't pick favorites."
"It's not about picking favorites, it's about doing on what you feel is the right thing, what it is genuinely deserved."
Nickels whole world paused even for a slight moment
Why is he doing any of this, helping this person go this far out of fucking nowhere? The stuff that Nickel is known for is clear indicators of someone who just needs to be put someone else right? He can't help but fear that this sense of unprofessionalism is going to bite all of them.
Or is it just his mind telling him that what he is doing is childish in a way based on what systems have brainwashed them into thinking? He isn't fully sure.
But those words..."
What you feel, right thing.
It is like an echo that has different pieces sticked together but sang the same tune.
Feel, right thing.
"And you don't deserve prison, that is for sure."
Now he is sort of wondering about this bat's deal about it. Oh, bat..... He finds it, weirdly warming to him.
"Sounds like you don't fully trust the law as someone within the law."
"I don't. I just do the job to cause the least conflict mostly, but I make exceptions."
"I feel like I want to go over that but.... I feel like what you say explains it. For now."
There was a weird pause for a bit, only the sound of natures sky and the sort of frustration from the other side covering its silence
Francis looks at him again, with genuine eyes
"I'm sorry. You deserved better, and how you acted back there, wasn't wrong."
There, there it is. They actually apologized for what they made to make him feel uncomfortable and unnecessarily pushed down. Yet, every single time, a part of him feels guilty of it, like he has gone so down onto expressing his frustrations that he hurts others for it.
He ignores it though, as more often that not, it's just another voice from his troubled times in the past, clinging its indoctrinations to the top of his mind like leeches. He is no one but himself after all.
But it doesn't take away that, he feels relieved, like all of this pressure has popped out of his chest. For good on the subject he felt about. He is, for now, possibly at peace with it,
And for that....
"Oh! Ok, so what are we going to do for tomorrow exactly since of... what happened?", Nickel casually asked as if nothing happened at all despite of the tense conversation
Francis was, this time, very surprised at this, maneuvering around as if he's trying to gather what had just happened
"Just like that? You already forgiven me? That seems..... naive if I am going to be frank."
"Well, all I wanted was genuine remorse as a means of acknowledgement of something wrong. Besides, I'm a roller coaster of emotions."
"yeah, roller coaster. Like what I am feeling right now....", They heard a voice behind them
Oh right, Haida. He feels bad that he doesn't put her into his mind as much as Francis does, but can he really blame himself?
Maybe..... Maybe.
"Right, sorry, it's getting really late.", Nickel said with his eyes wandering aimlessly once more
Francis gets up, posturing himself, trying to be professional and yet casually at the same time, it weirds out Nickel a bit, as he waddles out to the window side.
"We talked a lot during this time of day, so it is wise for all of us to rest up before we have to go in the morning. 7:30 AM at this point. We may need to find out what the underground business had to do with this Cult operation before anyone could get there first, I would assume you know the way to our next destination Haida, is that correct?", Francis schedules
"Yeah but, don't you guys know about the city more than me?", Haida wondering of how her, a middle schooler, needs to do the direction stuff for an agent
Francis notices this sort of flaw, much to his semi- embarrassment
"I haven't really gone out much before I completed some activities for my current job, let's just say."
"You did most of your stuff inside beforehand? No outside examples?", Nickel pointed on
"No, none of that. I do wonder why for a bit outside of people putting me at such a high pedestal that I need the extra safety net. If only....."
Francis silences himself before going to the bed that Nickel is sitting on
"I'll try to explain more later, it's close to 12:00 right now, and thus we shouldn't waste more time on the matter. Good night."
"Good night.", Both Nickel and Haida said after one another, with the latter sighing beforehand
As they get ready for bed to go to the next location, Francis leans to Nickel as he lays on the other side of the one he's in
"You want to lay here?", the "human" said with confusion, if mainly because he kind of didn't exactly want him to sleep next to him in spite of having two beds in the room. He didn't mind it either way in spite of it
"I sleep better when I am near the window, it helps my mind at ease with the outside breeze."
"I'm sorry if this may bother but, is that a bat thing?"
"No, just a personal interaction I have with the environment."
Nickel suddenly realizes something about Francis, rather his way of speech
"Shit, I really am not the only one who uses specific words in sentences."
"To be frank, I wasn't as educated into my vocabulary until I was in my 10's. Then after that the learning started to slow down on my and I have to heavily rely on what others word their sentences on."
Nickel begins to look at him straight up after all this time, the results were something he didn't exactly expect.
He was like a gleam reflection with the moonlight shining on his fur, giving off a mere silver look reflecting around his multiple tiny hair strands alongside the glasses before he begins to put them in a case to the desk.
Something about his appearance made him distinct, he has vibes that he didn't feel to anyone else, maybe it was him relaxing that did so, or maybe it was just a mix of that, his expression changing, as well as him opening up to something about himself to a complete stranger that made him feel off. He was calm, as he always was except for a few moments, but it was that calmness that he can't help but find endearing if it weren't for how cold and heartless he was to him, taking advant-
No, just.........
Nickel is having those bitter emotions again, like it always does, but it still doesn't take away what he felt still. Was it affection?
Or maybe it's him feeling alive in a sense that stress is taken off? He doesn't fully know, what he knows is that he is approachable to say the least. He isn't sure if he finds it endearing, or something as a means to hide within his mask
"No one cared enough?", Nickel, surprisingly saying with a pint of concern. Or maybe more than said pint
"Not really until I was around my teens, that's why I began to pick up further.", Francis looks down on his hands as he straightens his posture
"Sooooo. Just like me then?", Nickel eased himself further, mainly doing so since hes stressed out into going to bed
"Yeah, just like you, I assume. You haven't really told me much about yourself outside of the bare minimum.... Why is that?"
The human tried to find any words to complete that sentence. From the anguish he had, his frustrations, to him feeling down about a lot of things, a part of him is a bit upset that he doesn't seem to notice why already when they already discussed it not even 10 minutes ago.
But he digresses....
"We.....
He pauses again, wanting to put emphasis onto his answer
We weren't friends before."
And that was that, silence begin to crown itself as royalty after th-
"We will find that cure for your sister and find her sister too. I swear it.", He hears Francis say in a quieter but still audible tone
.................
"Good night.", he finally ends before the credits roll
"Good night.... Lo-"
Nickel immediately realized a habit broke loose and squished it. Feels really weird that he is saying this to an agent.
Is it?
Nothing seems to happen from it anyway, as Francis laid on his side on the bed, so Nickel did the same, his back away from his.
He is scared, of everything around him, unable to comprehend in this seemingly hardly ending nightmare that he simply took the worst step into.
But at the same time, he feels relieved that there is potential of someone being able to look at him in the eye and see him sincerely for who he is.
Maybe not today, but someday.
He hopes so towards life's ever sinking ocean, putting himself into it's black oil-ish ocean of nothingness once more.