Chapter Text
Castiel had been staying with them for a couple of weeks now.
He didn't have his powers anymore.
At the beginning he'd been a bit lost. It wasn't the first time he had to face being just a normal human being, and he'd made a lot of different, new experiences already, but this time it was meant to be forever. Really forever. No way of turning back. And he had no intentions to try.
At first, he'd thought it was his duty to help mend what had happened in Heaven, but then… Every time he'd tried to do something good, he'd ended up making things worse.
Maybe this was his punishment.
Was he just being a coward? Was he just avoiding his duties?
It had not been a simple decision and he still had his doubts, but he tried to fight his guilty feelings by thinking that he wasn’t on Earth doing nothing, just walking around the world and enjoying its various beauties: He was helping. He'd decided to become a hunter.
He might not be an angel anymore, but he still wanted to do some good.
He'd just come back from the grocery store when Dean came up to him, all serious looking and determined. Behind him sat Sam, still eating his breakfast. He seemed a bit amused and worried at the same time: the same face he usually wore when he knew Dean was up to something and he had no idea what the possible outcome could be.
“Ok, Cas. Now that you’re human there is a very important thing you have to try.” he said, pointing at him “And I warn you: to do it well, you’ll need a lot of practice.”
He immediately knew what the Winchester was talking about.
Dean had already tried to persuade him to do it. He particularly remembered that time they went to a bar together and he'd tried hooking up with that nice girl - who sadly had a lot of unresolved father issues and who didn't accept his help to solve them.
Another one of those times when he'd tried to do some good, and he’d ended up being sent away. That time, at least, it had been a lot funnier.
“I already did it.” he said.
And it was true. He'd met a beautiful red haired woman right before he was reunited with the two brothers and, well, their night together had felt really nice.
“What? When?” asked Dean incredulous.
“Last Month.”
Castiel didn't understand why Dean was so surprised. He was a human man now. It was bound to happen sooner or later. It just ended up happening while Dean wasn't present.
“But how? Who taught you how to do it?”
“I watched some videos. It’s really simple once you get a grasp of it.”
He was being sincere. It had come kinda naturally - after a while.
“Videos? No, no, no. That’s not the right way!”
Castiel inclined his head and looked at Dean a bit exasperated. He watched those videos, too: He was the one who had showed them to him in the first place.
They'd been quite instructive.
“But that woman complimented me.”
“Woman? What woman?”
Dean was looking at him with a pained expression in his eyes, like he couldn’t believe what he was hearing.
“Yeah. We did it a few times. She said my performance was really good, that I was a natural and that really there was nothing more she could teach me.”
Dean took a step towards him and touched the ex angel on the chest with his index - which he'd kept hovering in the air and pointing from the beginning of their exchange.
“Now listen to me. I’m sure she was really thorough and she gave you many good tips and whatsoever, but, Cas, not to offend anyone… I’m sure you’re good at it already, but I’m convinced - 100% convinced - that I know this stuff a lot better than her, a lot better than most people, and I could help you improve, if you want. It’s just an offer, but…”
“I would accept, if I were you.” said Sam, who had been looking at them for more than five minutes now and still had that strange expression on his face, now touched by a hint of fondness “This is not something he’d do for anyone, you know.”
That’s exactly what made Castiel pause. He’d heard about Dean’s many conquests and they’d always been female. Expert girls, most of the time. That he was amenable to do it with him, a man… He’d watched a couple videos about that, too… Was Dean really offering that to him?
“So? Do you want some lessons or not? This is a final offer.” asked Dean again. He waited a couple seconds more, then said, a bit sadly “Well, if you don’t want to, that’s your choice, of course. I just…”
“Wanted to share it with you.” finished Sam for him.
Dean looked at his brother with fire in his eyes.
“What? Have I hurt your masculinity?” said the younger brother sarcastically, then took a sip of orange juice from his glass.
“I just thought it would be useful for you, especially now that you've decided to become a hunter.” explained Dean, gritting his teeth.
“What does it have to do with it?” asked Castiel, a bit confused.
“Have we not known each others for years now? You know us! Oh, for… for fuck’s sake. You’ve been an angel for too long, mate. Come on. Let’s do this.”
“But-“
“But what?”
“I don’t want this to be a burden for you.”
“Burden? Come on! I love everything regarding it!” he patted Castiel on the shoulder “Just you and me.” he glanced quickly at his brother “No Sam, obviously: I wanna really enjoy it and some loud music is needed.”
“He’s not invincible anymore, and he can’t heal broken eardrums now, you know.” commented Sam.
“He’s exaggerating.” said Dean, noticing the worried look on Castiel’s eyes “We’re gonna have a lot of fun!”
Castiel hesitated a few seconds more. Dean seemed so convinced, as if he truly wanted to engage in intimate relations with him for his own pleasure and not only for Castiel’s sake. The ex angel couldn’t believe it, but the look on the older brother’s eyes… There was no doubt there.
“Ok.” he said simply, still very much surprised and feeling all too lucky. He didn't believe he deserved what Dean was offering him.
“Well, I'd hoped for a bit more enthusiasm on your part, but I have enough of it for both of us. Come on now.”
Dean grabbed his leather jacket, his car keys and headed to the door.
“Where are you going?”
Dean turned towards Castiel with his eyebrows raised.
“What do you think? Outside, obviously. It’s not like we can do it here, right?” he said, his arms wide open, gesturing to the entire room.
Castiel noticed Sam still sitting at the table.
“Right. Well, have a good day, Sam.”
“You, too.” said he, smiling and waving at the two men.
They left the bunker and got in the car in silence. Castiel was still too stunned, while Dean couldn't delete the smirk from his face. He seemed to tremble from sheer happiness. They drove for five minutes till they reached an empty parking lot. Dean turned off the car and patted the steering swheel with both hands. He looked so, so excited.
“I never thought this day would come, you know.” he admitted “You never had the need to learn, but now you can’t just disappear and go wherever you want. It doesn’t work like that for us mere mortals.” he was grinning from ear to ear “Oh, I’m gonna turn you into the best driver in the world - after me, obviously.”
Castiel's face lost all color. His eyes couldn't have become wider.
How easily misunderstandings happened.
He'd wanted Dean so much that he'd made himself believe it was actually possible.
He blamed his human body, full of stimuli to which he still had to get used to. Some of them still confused him. From the start, he'd felt that weird feeling in his chest, as if there was something alive moving around. He'd heard of the expression "butterflies in the stomach" but he'd never felt it so vividly like in that instant when Dean had made his offer.
He'd been deceived. He'd let his body guide his thoughts, something that had happened before but not to this extent.
Simply put: he'd been a fool.
"I'm sorry, Dean. I don't feel so well. I'm gonna take a walk."
With that said, he opened the door and left.
"Wait, Cas!" Dean called after him.
Castiel didn't turn around.