Chapter Text
Kakashi jumped across the roofs, avoiding the slower moving chunin and jonin. He was already running late for his meeting with the Hokage, which wasn’t really a new thing, but it wouldn’t do if he was blatantly disrespectful, all things considered. Frowning at one of the ANBU guards, probably Genma based on the hawk mask, he leaped onto the wall and made his way to the meeting room window.
“Sandaime-sama,” he greeted, as he perched on the windowsill. “You called.”
The Hokage didn’t bother correcting him, nor did he mention the fact that Kakashi should have been at the room over two hours ago. Instead, he merely handed over three folders.
Kakashi sighed, as he slunk into the room and grabbed the folder. He wasn’t planning on whining about the genin team that the Sandaime was handing him again, but he knew that everyone in the room could sense his souring mood. All he wanted to do was complete his missions, read his books and wallow in self-pity. Couldn’t they understand that?
(The laughter from Genma wasn’t a surprise, and Kakashi mentally flipped him off.)
Knowing when something was a lost cause, Kakashi opened the first folder. Then the second. And the third. Then, he turned to the Sandaime and glared at him, because Kakashi couldn’t be bothered to ask the question out loud.
The question being, “What exactly were you thinking when you authorized this team?”
The Sandaime’s lips twitched around his pipe. “You’re to meet this team in an hour, Kakashi.”
“Why those three?” Kakashi asked, instead of acknowledging how late the Sandaime had decided to push actually telling him about his potential team. “Naruto, I understand, but why the other two?”
And who even is this Sakura Haruno?
“No one else knows how to train the Uchiha, and as such you are the best equipped to deal with the Sharingan,” the Sandaime said, peering at him thoughtfully. Kakashi rolled his eyes. Just because he was strong and had interacted with multiple Uchihas with the sharingan didn’t mean anything. Sasuke didn’t even have the Sharingan yet. “Sakura is the top kunoichi in the year, and as such balances out the team.”
Kakashi shook his head. “So jinchuriki, Sharingan and cannon fodder, is that it?”
No one answered his question, which was, well, expected. He did put them in a bit of a spot. Admitting it was right was saying they didn’t care and saying he was wrong meant that the team was completely unbalanced. He sighed, and wondered whether he could get away with escaping to another village for the next few days, or weeks, or months. Surely, he had some vacation saved up?
(He could hear Genma’s laughter again, and he put ‘annoy Genma’ in his to-do list.)
“Very well,” Kakashi said. “Nothing to be done now, I suppose.”
He wouldn’t be getting the vacation, but he could always fail those little things that had been assigned to him. It would be better for them to stay in the academy for another year and get another teacher anyways. With a sly glance at the Hokage and a wink at Genma’s general position, Kakashi left the room. He had an appointment with his unofficial therapist – the memorial stone.
Naruto was getting bored. He had been incredibly excited throughout the whole morning, no, ever since he got his forehead protector! He was a genin now, and that was one step closer to Hokage. So yeah, he was excited and nervous, because what if Mizuki was right and he was just a monster, and no one liked him? Pushing those thoughts away, he turned his mind back to the most exciting part of the whole day – the team assignments.
He was in a team with Sakura! And if that wasn’t the best thing he had heard in ages, he would avoid ramen for a week, which… well, he couldn’t even think of that. Back to the team though, he was also stuck with Sasuke, who was the most annoying and stupid person he had ever met! Like who was Sasuke to say that Naruto couldn’t become Hokage, huh?
Anyways, Iruka-sensei had told them all their teams and then, the other teams’ teachers had shown up and taken them all. And Kiba, that dog-smelling bastard, had called them the ‘loser squad’. Ha! As if! Naruto would show him! But he couldn’t do anything until their sensei came to get them, and it had already been two hours. And their sensei was still not here!
So Naruto was getting bored of waiting and pacing and looking out of the window and counting the number of cracks in the ceiling and looking out of the door.
“That’s it!” He announced, scowling at the door as if it had insulted him. “Where is this stupid sensei of ours?”
He hadn’t expected an answer from either of them but was surprised when Sakura nodded her head and Sasuke scowled even worse than before. Seeing as they agreed, his gaze wandered the class, wondering what he could put together as a prank against their sensei. If he was going to be so late, then he deserved it!
“Aha!”
Sakura and Sasuke turned to him at his abrupt exclamation, but Naruto wasn’t paying attention. Grabbing the duster, he dragged a chair beside the door and carefully balanced the duster over it. Laughing at the ingenuity of his prank, he got off and pushed the chair back to its original place. Now, to wait for their sensei to fall for it. Naruto laughed slightly; this was going to be so much fun!
Kakashi watched as the three genin he’d been assigned, got bored out of their minds. Sure, the little Uchiha and the pink haired kunoichi tried to hide it, but the way their expressions perked up in interest at whatever Naruto was doing gave away their utter boredom. If only either of them had thought of bringing a book.
He turned back to the page he had opened in front of him and let himself fall back into Jiraiya’s amazing plot. The way the toad sannin kept the reader grasping for information was brilliant and those plot twists… Kakashi would die for those.
“Senpai,” Tenzo’s voice came from the tree, where the mokuton user was undoubtedly hiding. “You should probably meet the genin before they kill each other.”
Kakashi ignored the tree, because if Tenzo wanted to talk to him, he shouldn’t do it through a tree. Even if he was right, and Kakashi should be getting to those little brats before there was homicide involved. He’d probably be blamed for those as well, and his reputation was already bad enough.
“I’m not doing this because you told me to, tree-Tenzo,” he said, putting his book away with a resigned sigh.
“Of course not, Kakashi-senpai,” tree-Tenzo replied, because Tenzo was mean and vicious and petty and he was totally stalking Kakashi, but he wouldn’t admit it.
Jumping into the classroom window, he waved at the genin there. Sakura screamed a little in surprise and Sasuke yelped, and Naruto pointed at him and shouted, “You’re late!” and Kakashi couldn’t help but cackle a little bit (mentally of course), because this was so, so funny.
“Yo,” he said, raising his hand in a two-finger salute and keeping his expression carefully bored. “My first impression of you three… you’re boring.”
All three yelled at him in shocked surprise. He giggled again, wishing he had a camera. If he had to deal with children, then he would do it his way and entertain himself while he was at it.
“Meet me on the roof in 5 minutes,” he said, and allowed himself to fall backward, off the ledge.
None of the three kids even looked to see if he had injured himself, which was just sad. With a pout, he walked up the wall and sat on the edge of the building, waiting for the tiny little things to catch up.
He didn’t speak until all three were seated and Naruto was starting to look a little uncomfortable. Sasuke had chalk powder over his hair, which was probably the result of rushing out of the room without waiting for anyone else. Sakura was alternating between glaring at Naruto, who was snickering into his hand, and fawning over Sasuke, who looked like he would rather set her on fire than anything else.
Maybe Tenzo knew what he was talking about when he mentioned the homicide. Not that Kakashi would tell him that.
“Maa, little genin, why don’t we introduce ourselves?”
The three of them looked at him dubiously. Was he unclear in his instructions? He was sure that he had mentioned what he wanted them to do, and he had been relatively polite. Were they too young to follow basic instructions? They certainly looked older than he had been as a genin, so perhaps not too young.
The pink girl raised her hand, and Kakashi nodded to her. “What do you want us to say about ourselves?”
“How about your name, likes, dislikes, hobbies and dreams?” He suggested, after wracking his brains for what Minato-sensei had asked Obito, Rin and him to say.
He had bluffed his way through it, muttering something about training for all the categories, but Obito and Rin had followed the guidelines well enough that Minato-sensei didn’t send them a disappointed look. Which, come to think of it, was very effective. Maybe he should develop a disappointed look, although it might not work on these kids… Kakashi nodded decisively, putting the thought into the ‘think about later’ pile.
“Why don’t you go first then, sensei?” Naruto said, squinting at him.
Kakashi sighed and looked at the sky. Was it too late to turn into a Nara and take up cloud-watching as his job? It didn’t seem too late. There was nothing to it; he’d just fail them later for insubordination or something.
So he said, “I’m Kakashi Hatake. I have likes and dislikes. My hobbies are nothing you need to know. I haven’t thought about my dream.”
Looking at the genin and noting that Sasuke’s disgruntled expression looked nothing like Itachi’s and everything like Fugaku’s, Kakashi put ‘annoy Sasuke’ into his plan for the three, which he might or might not implement. Annoying Itachi had been fun; his brother had to be semi-similar right? That’s how siblings worked.
“Now, you, blondie,” he said, pointing at Naruto. He didn’t technically need an introduction from him, but he didn’t have much else planned for the day.
“I’m Naruto Uzumaki, believe it! I like different types of ramen, especially Ichiraku’s! I hate the time it takes for ramen to be made and annoying people! My hobby is gardening, and my dream is to become Hokage!”
Kakashi turned to the pink one and pointed at her. She turned red and glanced at Sasuke.
“My name is Sakura Haruno. I like…” she squealed in Sasuke’s direction and Kakashi resolutely didn’t tip himself off the building. Not just was she ‘cannon fodder’, she was a fangirl. Mercifully, she continued and Kakashi clapped his hands (mentally) at the next words out of her mouth, “and reading. I dislike loud people. My hobbies are reading and fashion and…” she turned red, looking at Sasuke again.
Kakashi wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do in this situation. His solution to any and all emotions was ‘avoid at all cost’ and pre-teen romance was a hard pass in his opinion. Before he could turn to ask Tenzo, who would no doubt give him some useless advice, Sakura continued, “my dream is to become a strong kunoichi and protect my family.”
Well, at least there was something that was redeemable in that hormone induced mess. He turned to the last one and said, “Last one, broody.”
The boy glared, which made him look like Mikoto, who was pretty terrifying. Sadly, his glare was still just a pale mimicry of the infamous Mikoto-glare. “I’m Sasuke Uchiha. I have no likes and dislikes. My hobby is training, and I have one dream, to kill a certain man.”
Because of course, Itachi had to somehow make it into the conversation. Clan killer, mass murderer and utterly insane pacifist that he was, Itachi’s defection had something suspicious about it. Kakashi had known Sasuke’s brother, and there was no way there wasn’t a third party pulling the strings. Not that he could tell the broody kid that, considering the way his tunnel vision was aimed at his brother. Also, Itachi was technically a missing-nin, which was a bad thing in Konoha’s eyes, not that Kakashi cared, but others certainly did.
Now, what had Minato-sensei done after their introduction? Kakashi put his head in his hand and titled his face to the sky. Was he supposed to thank the children? Or like say bye or something? Or did he just leave? Minato-sensei had made them do the bell test and the new ANBU he had tested always complained about waking up early, so perhaps a mix of that?
“Maa, okay then.” Kakashi clapped his hands, grinning under his mask. “I guess I’ll see you all tomorrow at 5 am at training ground 3. Don’t be late and don’t eat any breakfast!”
That should be good enough.
With a smug smile, he fell off the building again. The genin didn’t even look at his stunt, too busy fighting once more. Why had Sandaime chosen him for this?