Chapter Text
Fertility
Chapter I
"Fuck… Fuck… Fuck."
Kendall Roy stared at the pregnancy test in one of his penthouse bathrooms. There were two pink lines showing a positive result.
"Fuck! "
He raised his head and looked at himself in the mirror. His forehead was full of sweat, and he wiped it with his handkerchief. He glanced at the test again, hoping to change the result. But it was undeniable that if he had stopped taking the birth control pill four months ago and three weeks ago had wild sex with his best and oldest friend, this was the consequence.
He turned on the faucet and washed his face. Then, he put the test inside its box and threw it in the trash can. After that, he kicked the trash can and slammed his fist against the wall to vent his anger. It was a terrible idea as his knuckles were scraped.
He washed his hands, dried them with a towel, and left the bathroom.
He went to the dining room and sat down at the table. The tea he had prepared before taking the test had gone cold. Not caring, he took a sip. A bitter taste rose in his throat, and he hurried to the sink to spit. He had already spent the entire day vomiting, and what he returned was just a viscous liquid, the last leftovers left in his stomach.
He was miserable. Truth be told, that's how he had felt for the past six months, ever since his sister betrayed him and his desire to become CEO of Waystar was gone forever. Now, he felt no reason to continue living.
Tired, he returned to the table and threw himself into the chair. He remembered that the night before he had been smoking some marijuana to relax and sleep. Before dawn, he had woken up with severe dizziness and stomach pain. That's why he stayed in bed until noon, attributing his illness to the possible poor quality of the weed he had smoked.
He never imagined this result. He held his head in his hands, massaging his temple and then lowering his fingers to rub his ears. He still couldn't understand the magnitude of the situation or wrap his head around a pregnancy and its consequences. His mind was in a fog. Without realizing it, he lowered his right hand and rested it on his belly. He blinked. He thought about the children he had with Rava, whom he no longer saw due to his addictive and erratic behavior. Before his world fell apart with Siobhan's betrayal, he had hired one of the best lawyers in the country to obtain full custody of Iverson and Sophie. But his ex-wife, with lawyers as good as his, presented evidence of the out-of-control life Kendall was leading, and so he was forced to drop the charges. Rava had gotten full custody two months earlier, and since then, Kendall's sadness had deepened, and he was now in a spiral of pain, depression, and self-abandonment. In this state, he did not feel in a position to make decisions, and the surprise of this pregnancy shook him even more.
Frightened and heartbroken, he cried.
………………
Hours later, Kendall woke up in his bed. He couldn't remember when he had gotten the strength to go to bed. His eyes stung because they were swollen from crying and tiredness. He rubbed them and picked up the phone he had left on the nightstand. Blinking, he searched for Stewy's number.
"It's now or never," he thought and called without hesitation.
The phone rang for a while until his friend answered. Kendall could hear the sound of waves and birds. Surely he was on a paradise island.
"Ken!"
He could hear Stewy's cool laugh.
"Hi, Stewy, " he replied in a tired tone.
"You finally decided to call me. How long has it been, man? A month already? "
"Something like that, " Kendall replied. He cleared his throat. "Where are you now? "
Stewy laughed heartily.
"You won't believe where this amazing fucking beach is: South of France. I came for a few days to relax before I got on with the Waystar shit… Oh, sorry, man. I shouldn't have said that."
"No," Kendall muttered. "It’s all right. "
"Sorry. "
"When do you plan to return to New York? Or better yet, until when are you staying in France? I could come look for you. "
"Wow, Kenny! Looking for some French fun?"
Kendall didn't respond. His friend noticed that something was wrong and became worried.
"What's up dude? Are you okay?"
Kendall was silent before answering slowly.
"Let me travel tomorrow. Text me the address. I need to talk to you."
"Ken, you worry me, man. Everything's fine?"
"Yes, " Kendall lied and tried to brighten his voice. "I just need to talk to you about something important."
"Okay. See you tomorrow, Ken."
Stewy hung up the call and put his hands in the pockets of his shorts. He frowned worriedly.
A stunning woman came up from behind him in surprise and wrapped her arms around his neck. She had a small packet of cocaine in her hand.
"Are we going to have fun, mon chéri?" she asked him with a pronounced French accent.
Stewy nodded reluctantly. Kendall had left him feeling worried.
…………..
A little relieved after the call, Kendall called the pharmacy to have painkillers and remedies for dizziness delivered to him. He thought that if they took effect right away, in a couple of hours, he would be able to eat something because he wouldn't be able to travel on an empty stomach in the morning.
The remedies arrived in half an hour. He took a couple of pills and sat in the living room with a glass of water to wait for them to take effect. He leaned his head back, closed his eyes, and breathed to relax. Feeling calmer, he thought it was time to call his mother.
Lady Caroline Alexandra Helena St. John Collingwood was lying relaxed in bed, reading a book. Her husband, Peter Munion, was sleeping in an adjacent room. When the phone rang and she realized that it was Kendall, her heart skipped a beat. She had been trying to communicate with her son for half a year in vain. She had called him several times, not many but at least a couple, and Kendall had never answered her. She picked up immediately.
"Kendall?" she asked, waiting to hear his voice.
"Hi, Mom."
His voice calmed her.
"What a surprise!" Caroline said in a reproachful tone. "I thought the earth had swallowed you or a little mouse ate your tongue."
Kendall rubbed his forehead and sat back in the chair. He was in no mood to receive reproaches.
"I have to ask you something, Mom. Do you remember the Collingwood family affair, the one about the men getting pregnant? It's not clear if this is a blessing as the ancient legend says or a curse. What do you think?"
Caroline fell into an awkward silence. She was shocked, but not a muscle in her face moved.
"Mom?" Her son insisted.
"You mean the reason why you and Roman have had to take birth control periodically since your teens," she said. She was silent for a moment and then added. "Did something happen, son?"
"You told me once that your cousin, Uncle Bill, had a problem in the '70s," Kendall said. He was silent for a moment and then added., "What happened to him? Who helped him?"
"Are you pregnant?" she asked. He did not answer, he just nodded. Although his mother could not see the gesture, she sensed it. "Come home, son. Travel now, please. I know someone who can help you. Don't let any more time pass."
"Tomorrow I will travel to France. I can stop by England on the way there or on the way back."
"Come home right away tomorrow," Caroline insisted, worriedly. "I know someone who can help you. The private clinic my family owns in London has a special doctor for these cases."
Kendall sighed in relief. Until that moment, meeting Stewy had been his priority, but he thought that now it was clear that it was his mother who could help him.
"I'm traveling there tomorrow, mom."
Caroline smiled more calmly.
"You know, male pregnancy has been common among high-born families for centuries. I think for millennia."
"Only in a few high-born families, not in all of them," corrected his son, who saw the situation as a curse.
"Yes, only in a few."
"See you tomorrow, Mom."
"See you tomorrow, Kendall."
They hung up the call.
Kendall went to the kitchen and searched the refrigerator for leftovers from previous meals to prepare dinner. He didn't feel like ordering in. He heated the food in the microwave, opened a bottle of mineral water, and sat down to eat. He still felt unwell, although he managed to tolerate several bites, leaving half a plate empty. He checked his phone and saw that Stewy had texted him his location. He called his assistant to prepare his flight to England. She assured him that she would have the plane ready first thing in the morning.
Feeling much more relaxed, Kendall took the plate to the sink, knowing at the housekeeper would clean up in the morning. He had to go to bed early and wake up before dawn. He looked for a clean glass to take more water to his bedroom, and when he opened the pantry, he found a bag of coffee beans. The aroma made him horribly nauseous. He ran to lock himself in the nearest bathroom but did not vomit the food. He only felt some retching caused by the aroma of the grains and spit into the sink. He raised his head and looked in the mirror. He looked exhausted. He thought that if everything went well and the clinic could treat him, in less than twenty-four hours his nightmare would be over.
With this reassuring idea, he went to sleep. Tomorrow would be a busy day.
…………………….
Early in the morning, Kendall left for London with light luggage. He packed clothing for the cold, wet climate of England and the warm climate of France. If all went well and he had an abortion that morning, he would be free to tell Stewy. However, he wanted to visit his friend, at least to have fun after the tense situation he was experiencing.
Before boarding the plane, he ordered the coffee maker and any trace of coffee, whether ground or beans, to be removed. He still couldn't tolerate the aroma, and just remembering its taste made him nauseous. When he sat down in the seat, he ordered mineral water and tea for the trip. He took pills with the water so as not to feel discomfort during the journey and kept the pill bottle in his coat pocket.
His assistant had already prepared a private car to take him to his mother's house and then to the clinic. He was sure that his mother would accompany him the whole time, as the pregnancy was a source of shame for her and her family. Caroline wouldn't have bothered to solve this issue for him if it weren't for the fact that it made her socially uncomfortable.
Kendall knew his mother and wasn't expecting any genuine gesture of affection from her. He was still tired from the hustle and bustle of the previous day, so he took the opportunity to doze in the plane bed for most of the trip. He arrived at the airport on time and from there he texted Caroline to let her know he was on his way.
His mother welcomed him with a hug and an effusive kiss on the cheek. She invited him to come in for something to eat, although Kendall assured her that he was satisfied and just wanted to get to the clinic.
"It's a complicated situation, I understand, son," she replied with a reproachful tone. "But you never come to visit me, and now that you do, you refuse to share a table with me. I assure you it will just be you and me. Peter traveled to Liverpool today."
"Okay," Kendall agreed, relieved to know he wouldn't have to put up with his insufferable stepfather.
They went to the dining room. Caroline had prepared several platters of food and only set one place at the table with a glass and cutlery. She told her son to sit at the table next to the plate, and she sat at the other end where there was only a cup of tea.
Kendall began to help himself to some food from the different platters, and although he did so at first just out of politeness, he quickly discovered that his appetite had returned. He thought perhaps it was because it was the first time in days that he had eaten with someone.
His mother sipped her tea.
"Yesterday you asked me about Bill. Well, yes, it was in 1975, two years before I met your father. I know that Uncle Rupert, his father, took him to that clinic."
"Did they treat him there?" Kendall asked, taking a bite of meat.
"Yeah. Then Uncle Rupert took him away. I don't know. I think I just saw Bill again on my wedding day."
"So, in that clinic, the doctors solved the matter," he said excitedly.
Caroline took another cautious sip.
" If by resolving the issue, you mean having an abortion, I don't know. I guess," she said.
Kendall smiled uncomfortably.
"They didn't force him to carry the pregnancy, right?"
Without answering him, his mother took a paper out of her blouse pocket and handed it to him.
Kendall read an address in central London and the name of a person: Doctor Cyrius Baltmore.
"That is the address of the clinic, and he is the doctor who will see you. I was already talking to him earlier, and he is waiting for you, so when you finish your meal, you can leave."
Kendall put the paper in his coat pocket next to the pill bottle. He had been excited about the idea that his mother would accompany him and go through this difficult situation with him. But like so many other times, he was alone.
He finished eating and got up with his mother to leave. At the door, she kissed him goodbye and massaged his shoulders to encourage him.
"Everything will be fine, son. I don't think it will take long, so come back soon and I'll be waiting for you with tea or coffee," she laughed. "I forget that you and your siblings are more American than English and despise my tea in favor of coffee."
"Tea will be fine, Mom," he assured her, and he felt his stomach turn as he remembered the smell.
He kissed his mother on the cheek. She opened the door and he took an umbrella out of a basket because it was raining.
Kendall got into the car and waved goodbye before dictating the address to the driver. As the engine started, he looked at his watch. In a few hours, the pregnancy would be a bad memory.
The Collingwood family's private clinic was a fifteen-story building in one of the most exclusive areas of London. Kendall got out of the car with the umbrella open since it was still raining and went inside. He was feeling anxious and went to the counter to announce himself. The secretary checked the computer and called the doctor Baltmore to let him know that his patient had arrived. She then asked a coworker to cover for her and guided Kendall to the elevator. He went up with her and saw that the control panel marked two subfloors. She pressed the button for the last one.
The elevator door opened, and Kendall was met by a tall, lanky, gray-haired man who was about Connor's age.
"Welcome, Mr. Roy," the man said and extended his hand. "I am Dr. Cyrius Baltmore."
Kendall stepped out of the elevator and shook it.
"Nice to meet you."
The doctor signaled to the secretary, and she pressed the button on the control panel to close the door and rise. Baltmore motioned for his patient to follow him.
Kendall saw that the place was a spacious, open, well-lit basement. There was little furniture, except for some chests of drawers and tables. The doctor took him to a door and made him enter a room. There were computers, monitors, and medical equipment there as well as an examining bed.
There were two chairs next to a computer, and Doctor Baltmore invited him to sit in one. Kendall obeyed as the doctor handed him a bottle of water since he would need his stomach to have fluid for the ultrasound test. As Kendall sipped, Baltmore asked him how long he had been pregnant.
"Three weeks," he replied.
The doctor wrote it down on his phone.
"It's the right time for the first symptoms to appear. How did you come to the conclusion that you were pregnant?"
"Yesterday I woke up very sick, and I was like that for the rest of the day. I couldn't eat anything because I was vomiting everything. I drank some medicine to relieve the symptoms a little, and I remembered that I haven't taken birth control pills for months."
"Did you take them regularly?"
"Since adolescence when I started having relationships. I generally had sex with women, but there were parties with drinking, drugs, and I could end up with anyone of any sex, do you understand me?"
"Absolutely," Baltmore replied. "Do you still do drugs, Mr. Roy?"
"Occasionally," he lied. But he quickly understood that for his health, he had to be honest. "Often these last few months. I stopped taking the pills because I was neglecting myself."
"I understand," the doctor said, and from his calm tone, Kendall understood that he wasn't judging him. "Continue, Mr. Roy."
“I remembered there was a home pregnancy test in my bathroom cabinet, leftover from my ex-wife. I took the test and it came back positive."
"Have you been taking any particular medications in recent months, other than illegal substances?"
"No."
"What substances have you been using?"
"Ketamine, cocaine, and I smoked weed the day before yesterday."
The doctor wrote down on his phone and then spent a while writing on the computer.
"I keep two records of my patients, one on this computer that only I have access to and on my phone because at home I transfer the file to another computer that I have there."
"Okay"
When he finished writing, he got up from his seat and instructed his patient to do the same.
"Let's examine you. I've already placed the ultrasound machine next to the examining bed. You can take off your shirt, Mr. Roy."
Kendall thought about asking him to call him by his name but felt like he didn't want to be familiar with him or anyone at that clinic. When the procedure was over, that whole place would be part of the past. He obeyed and took off his coat to place it on the back of a nearby chair, being careful so that his pill bottle wouldn't fall. Then he took off his shirt and left it in the same place.
The doctor asked him to unbutton his pants so that his entire belly would be exposed.
Kendall lay face down on the examination bed. The doctor palpated him gently at first and then a little more roughly. Kendall groaned, and the doctor stopped when he heard the complaint and wrote something down on his phone. Then he listened to Kendall's chest and every corner of his belly, while continuing to take notes. Finally, he spread gel on Kendall's belly to prepare it for the ultrasound machine.
Kendall closed his eyes and tried to remember melodic songs from the eighties so as not to look or think about the embryo that was harassing him would appear on the screen. Minutes passed that seemed like an eternity, until he heard the doctor turn off the machine. Kendall opened his eyes and Baltmore handed him a box of tissues to wipe off the gel. Kendall sat on the bed as he cleaned himself. The doctor sat next to the computer and read the notes on his phone.
Kendall asked if he could get dressed.
"Sure, Mr. Roy. Then sit down with me to talk."
"If you can perform the abortion right now, I would be grateful," Kendall asked with the shirt in his hand. He didn't want to put it on since he might have to take it off again for the procedure.
"Get dressed and sit next to me, please" the doctor insisted, continuing to type on the computer. He finished at the same time as his patient was tucking his shirt into his pants.
Kendall sat back down in the chair next to the doctor.
"How long would it take to prepare for an abortion?" he insisted. It was the only thing that mattered to him.
Baltimore stared at him.
"I regret to inform you that an abortion is not the appropriate solution since in your situation it would be very high risk."
"I'll take the risk," Kendall replied determinedly.
The doctor read the notes he had taken on his phone.
"Some of the oldest families on this island share the secret that their males can conceive. This power is passed on through women to their male children and has been so for a millennia."
"It's a curse, I know, and my mother is part of one of those families."
"Centuries ago, these pregnancies were high risk, but today they can be controlled by technology. What remains a mystery is why some families developed this power. One of the theories, it is believed, is that it arose to counteract the infertility of some of them."
"To put an end to the infertility problems of some families, which in many cases were due to issues of incest, the men of some families developed the ability to gestate. Is that what you're saying?" Kendall asked anxiously. His mother had never explained to him the cause of male pregnancy, nor had he been interested.
The doctor nodded.
"As it is a biological resource to avoid pregnancy loss, in male cases, the embryo is protected between the viscera of the pregnant person and cannot be surgically removed."
Kendall grimaced.
"It's ridiculous, doctor. In the twenty-first century, there are enough resources for high-risk surgery."
"Not this kind of surgery."
"There must be," Kendall countered. He refused to believe it was impossible.
Baltmore noticed that his patient was getting nervous and said in a kind tone.
"I don't think so, Mr. Roy. The embryo is not only protected, but it is also attached to parts of your organs. It is impossible to remove it without harming you. That's all I can tell you, but let me clarify that I am the best specialist there is on this subject."
Kendall rubbed his forehead to calm himself.
"What else can you tell me, doctor?"
"The first symptoms appear in the third week after conception. They are mild: dizziness, vomiting, and stomach pains. You may feel disgust towards strong odors."
"I can't stand coffee," Kendall replied.
"The aroma and taste of coffee will be unbearable throughout your pregnancy."
Kendall snorted. Only God knew how much he loved coffee. Stewy adored it too. Stewy. Damn, he thought. Stewy was the one who had gotten him into this, the real culprit, right?
"Mr. Roy," the doctor called bringing him back to reality. "As I was saying, these symptoms will worsen over the next few months. Your abdominal cavity needs to make room for the fetus to develop. Your organs will move without harming you, but you will suffer from the movement."
"Is there any good news?" Kendall asked, scared.
Baltmore smiled.
"Nothing that pain pills can't calm. Don't worry, it won't be the end of the world. Just a pregnancy, which we can control," the doctor replied. "You will experience discomfort and some pain, but it's all part of the process. I will monitor your condition closely and provide you with the necessary support. You seem healthy: I listened to your heartbeat and palpated your abdomen. I also noticed that the embryo is healthy, and when I listened to it, I heard the movement that your body is making in the abdominal cavity to accommodate the fetus later."
Kendall sighed, feeling overwhelmed by the news. He couldn't believe this was happen
ing.
The doctor offered to prescribe pain medication and remedies to calm the discomfort. He also ordered a series of laboratory studies and made an appointment for two weeks. Before they said goodbye, he gave Kendall his private number to consult.
Kendall left the clinic, walking with apparent calm. Inside, he was terrified and furious. It had stopped raining, so he got into the car with the umbrella closed and returned to his mother's house.
Along the way, he tried not to think about anything, although a thousand ideas were spinning in his mind. He didn't want to reason, he didn't want to draw conclusions, he didn't want to feel because the anger and fear were taking hold more strongly. He needed to get to his mother's house, take a bath, and share the tea she had promised him.
He felt alone and desperate. When he arrived, he rang the bell, and Caroline opened the door for him. Kendall threw himself into her arms, crying. He felt too afraid.
"Oh, sweetie. Is everything all right?" she asked worried.
Her son wanted to answer her but couldn't stop crying. She hugged him to comfort him. Kendall wiped his eyes and as he looked around the room, he noticed the luggage in the corner.
"What is that, Mom?"
Caroline bit her lip and continued to hold him tightly in her arms.
"Peter called me as soon as you came out," she explained, sighing. "He needs me to travel to Liverpool. The flight leaves in an hour so I was waiting to say goodbye to you. You can stay as long as you need, just don't misbehave or organize parties," she joked.
Kendall was shocked. Caroline kissed his forehead, hugged him again, picked up her luggage, and left. A car was waiting for her outside.
Kendall stood still. He didn't hug her back, and he didn't even watch her leave. He stood staring at the corner where his mother had picked up the luggage, feeling alone, miserable, and scared. But it wasn't the first time he had felt this way.