Work Text:
Jung Heewon looks at the audience and speaks to them, her words quiet and bitter. She appears angry, but a layer of melancholy says otherwise.
When the world fell, Kim Dokja was the one who saved me.
People always called Kim Dokja a hero. And when they talked to me about him, they called him virtuous, brave, and moral, and they expected me to agree.
And I did agree. Kim Dokja was a hero, but nothing more.
Why did people always suppose heroes were the noblest of them all and would be willing to sacrifice anything in the name of good? In Kim Dokja’s world, there was nothing like that. He wasn’t good. He was selfish. He wanted to create a world only he desired. That man didn’t care how many people died and how many misfortunes he caused.
And yet, that person was my hero. He saved me and our companions.
When I was poisoned, he saved me.
When I killed, he saved me.
When I was battling myself, he saved me.
He then gave me a sword, told me to be one, and left.
You told me to train, so I did. I did it so I could protect you, so you could rest.
But did you rest? No. You didn’t. You sacrificed yourself for us.
…I tried so hard, Dokja-ssi. I tried so hard, but why did you ignore me? You always did what you wanted without telling me, but you would always tell Han Sooyoung-ssi and Yoo Joonghyuk-ssi. Each of your plans I would find out later when they were already put into action. Why didn’t you trust me as much as them? You were with me, but so far away.
Kim Dokja went against everything I stood for. I wanted justice, while he didn’t care. He was nonchalant to everything. Killing? He did it without batting an eye. Scheming? He enjoyed it. Lying? Was there anything he liked more?
…You were horrible, rotten to the core. If I had to love anyone, I wouldn’t want it to be you. And yet, all I knew was that there were people in the world, and then there was you. “I don’t love you like I love our companions. I don’t love you like I love Lee Hyunsung. I don’t know why I love you. I just do.”
His salvation was cruel. Like rescuing a drowning person with a blade, they would be inflicted with an unhealable wound.
My scars haven’t closed, but now you know, that once upon a time, there was a man called Kim Dokja, and he saved me.