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“Finny?” I wake up panting his name like a chant. A prayer that will go unanswered. “Finny. Oh, Finny. Finny.”
Until I hear it.
“Oh, Autumn.” It’s his voice, unmistakably. I know it better than anyone else’s. I know it better than my own. That must be why my mind conjured him up. The ghost of Finny to deal with my grief of losing him.
I choke on his name, as it spills forcibly from my mouth, seemingly without my control.
“Autumn,” This apparition’s voice shakes with concern, because even in my imagination, Finny’s still concerned for me above all else.
But he’s not real. He died. I saw it all in my mind. I lived it. For how long? Months, it felt like. I’m still groggy from sleep and can’t focus on the details of it all. But all I know is, I had Finny. And then I lost him. And the grief of it all is so raw that it must be real.
But then, hands touch me and I still.
“Autumn,” His grip is fierce and he’s shaking me. “Autumn, what’s wrong?”
“Finny?” I gasp out like a person half-drowned. “Finny?” I repeat again because his name is suddenly the only word I know. His essence is the only thing that makes sense to me.
His arms around me, he’s shifting me so he’s sitting on my bed and I’m in his lap, cradled by the arms I never thought would hold me again.
“Autumn, baby,” His voice pleads, “You’re scaring me. What’s wrong?”
“Oh, Finny.” I cry, sobs wreaking my body with shakes I can’t control. “Finny. I love you. I love you so much.” I’m looking up at him through eyes blurred incomprehensibly from tears and I curse the fact I can’t see his beautiful face clearly. “Oh, Finny, I love you.”
I’m touching every part of him, leaving kisses in every area I can reach. My hands move over him. His arms, his face, his legs, to assure myself he’s real and there beside me. To prove to myself he’s alive.
“Oh, Autumn.” He pulls my head fiercely against his chest, his lips come down on top of my head with an aggressive force. “I love you, too. More than anything. I always have.”
With the feel of him under my fingers, I reorient myself back in reality. He’s damp from the rain outside, but otherwise he’s the same as I last saw him. Before everything happened. Or everything that didn’t happen.
“I had a dream,” I choke out. “Oh, God, Finny. I had a dream that you died. But it was so real, and it felt so long, Finny. It felt like I lived through months of it. Of life without you.”
“That’s why you were crying?” Finny says in confusion, though his hands are still on me, calming me as they work soothing shapes over my skin. “You were crying because you had a dream that I died?”
“It was so real.” I say again, because even though I’m a writer, I can’t think of a more eloquent way to describe to him the vividness of that excruciating nightmare. “You left here to go break up with Sylvie and there was a car accident, and…. You were fine, and then you weren’t.” I choke out words, because even though I know it wasn’t real, it’s still too painful to relive the details of, though I have a feeling I’ll never quite burn them from my mind. The fake memory of losing Finny was more excruciating than any pain I’d ever felt in my waking life.
He doesn’t say anything, but his hands are caressing my hair, his long fingers stroking through the strands now slick with the sweat from my nightmare that I’m still trying to reassure myself wasn’t real.
“Why aren’t you saying anything, Finny?”
“I just,” He starts and cuts himself off, disbelief clouding his voice. “I can’t believe you love me this much.”
I rip myself from his arms so I can face him. Before I know what I’m doing, I’m smacking his arm. Not hard enough to hurt him, but hard enough to unleash the anger I feel at his comment.
“Of course I do.” I snap, because how could he not know? How could he have not realized for all those years? But then, I relax, realizing, it’s still new to him. I may have felt the burning weight of love for him for years, but he spent the last six years thinking the opposite. He loved me the whole time, too, and I hadn’t realized either. So, I give him the reassurance that I myself crave to hear from him.
“Finny, I love you more than anything in the world.”
More than breath. More than life. I would give up anything to keep him safe and healthy, always. Even if he’s not with me. Even if I had to endure him being with someone else. I now know that my greatest fear isn’t Finny being with someone else. It’s Finny ceasing to be.
He stares at me, as if searching for the truth in my words, and upon finding it, he pulls me toward him and kisses me deeply. Passionately. Enough to reinforce the beautiful knowledge that Phineas Smith is alive before me. The proof of it is reinforced by the heart I feel beating under the palm of my hand splayed across his chest.
It is August 8th, still. Or maybe now it’s the 9th. I’m not sure what time it might be, but the only thing that matters is that, even though it had felt like months of my life spent grieving Finny, it had all been a dream. He’s here beside me, and it’s only been hours since I last saw him. Finny and I still have forever. Forever hasn’t even begun yet.
“I’m right here, Autumn.” He whispers, pulling me back to his chest. “I’m not going anywhere. Not ever. I promise you.”
“You’ll stay with me?” I ask, desperately. My voice is small in the darkness of the room. “Forever?”
His arms tighten around me in a promise. “Forever. That’s all I ever wanted with you.”
“Good.” I nod my head, even though I’m laying against him, my face burrowed against his chest with his arms draped around me. “Because I don’t think I could ever live a single day without you, Finny.”
His hand that had been engaged in rubbing circles on my arm stills, and I wonder if I’ve scared him off.
“Finny?” I say, holding my breath.
“We should get married.”
“What?” I gasp out, turning around so abruptly I almost smack my head against his.
“I don’t ever want to be without you either, Autumn. I never have. Please, marry me.” His blue eyes are blazing and the blessed moonlight is the only thing allowing me to witness all of his beautiful features in the darkness.
“Don’t mess with me, Finny.” I shake my head furiously. “That’s not fair.”
“Autumn,” He grabs my hands, tethering me to him. “I have wanted to marry you since we were six years old. There’s never going to be anyone else for me.”
His confession softens whatever remaining ache had existed in my chest, wrapping around the barbs and thorns that my imagination had inflicted inside me.
“There’s never going to be anyone else for me, either.” I admit. “Even before, it was always you I pictured when I thought of forever with someone.”
He takes my head and kisses me again. Kisses me all over. “Then let’s do it. It’s you and me now. Forever. Let’s make it official.”
“Do you mean it?” I ask, barely daring to hope. “Because if you do, my answer is yes.”
“So, we’re doing it? We’re getting married?” His voice is in a pitch I’ve never heard from him before. I think it’s pure elation. I’m in disbelief that I can cause that feeling in him.
“Whenever. Wherever.” I say, and I mean it. “All I want is you.”
“Oh, God, Autumn.” He groans, bestowing even more kisses on my body. It’s been just about twenty-four hours since the revelation of our mutual feelings and I think we’ve already exchanged more than a thousand kisses since then. Making up for lost time, I suppose, grinning as I feel his lips ignite my skin with fire. “I love you.”
“Do you think,” I giggle, barely able to get the sentence out. “Do you think they’ll let us room together at college if we’re married?”
“They’ll have to,” He says, in between kisses. “If they don’t, we’ll find an apartment near campus. I’ll work after classes, on weekends. Whatever it takes. This is going to be the start of our life together, Autumn.”
“I can’t believe it.” I say, because in a way I can’t. But in a much more real sense, did I ever imagine anything else? Did I ever truly believe it could turn out any other way than the two of us together?
“I hate that we lost all those years,” He says as his fingers trail down my back, his words sending that same ache and longing in me when I think of our missed time. “But, I can’t imagine a moment more perfect than this last day has been. Maybe that time apart was to show us just how much we can’t be without each other.”
“We never will be again.” I vow, shuddering as thoughts of the dream creep back in, clouding this perfect moment. “But Finny, I’m never letting you drive in the car without me ever again.”
His laugh vibrates through me because of how tightly we’re holding each other and I try to push myself even more impossibly close to him. “Because of your dream?”
“Yes.” I say, knowing how ridiculous I sound, but needing to shed the last remnants of it from my mind. “Maybe not never,” I amend begrudgingly, “but at least for a while. Just to reassure me. Okay?”
“Autumn,” He says with a laugh, kissing my temple. “There's nowhere I want to be going without you, so that’s absolutely fine by me. Besides, I’ve gotten kind of used to all my car rides having you in my passenger seat this summer.”
He moves downwards into a lying position, taking me with him as he shifts us. I sigh in contented relief, settling firmly against his side. I place my head on his chest and grab his arm, wrapping it around me like a security blanket. The heavy weight of it comforts me enough that I no longer fear closing my eyes.
“Just think,” He says, “We never have to sleep another night without each other.”
“Never again?” I beg for reassurance, knowing I’m being needy and emotional and all the things Jamie hated, but needing it now more than ever, especially after that dream. Somehow, I don’t think Finny will mind.
“Never. Never. Never.” He says, promising an eternity of nights just like this one like it’s the easiest thing in the world for him to give. “You and me, forever. The way it was always meant to be.”
“What if The Mother’s are opposed to our newfound codependency?” I laugh, exaggerating what I know is just the whirlwind start of us getting used to being loved by the other after so long of living without it.
“The Mother’s who are right now celebrating with a bottle of champagne in my kitchen?” He says in humor. “Somehow I don’t think they’ll have a problem with it.”
“You’re right,” I say, yawning. “This is what they’ve been waiting for since we were born.”
“They weren’t the only ones waiting for it.” He says, and I can feel him smile, even though I can’t see him.
“I love you, Finny. I’m sorry it took us so long to get here.”
“Worth the wait.” He says, kissing me one more time. I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of it. “Go to sleep, now. I’ll be here when you wake up.”
With the promise of tomorrow and everyday after, I fall asleep in Finny’s arms and dream only beautiful things of the life that we’re going to have together.
~*~*~*~
I wake up in Finny’s arms and I realize there’s nothing else I’ll ever need as long as I have this. Want? Yes. But need? This is all. Just him.
We wake up slowly, meandering through the morning with leisure because we have all the time in the world left. There’s no longer any reason to frantically try to stretch out our hang out sessions without appearing too obvious, or try to come up with something to say next just to keep the conversation going, because now, there’s no longer reason to fear that we’re nearing the end of our time together.
It’s a beautiful thing to just exist in the moment together, without fear of what comes next, because whatever it is, I know he will be with me.
“Should we go to breakfast?” Finny asks, even though it’s closer to lunch time and the August sun is already burning with midday heat.
“Sure.” I beam at him, thinking it miraculous that we’re doing the same thing we’ve done all summer, but now it’s irrevocably different in the best way.
At the diner we’ve been frequenting, the waitress seats us at the same table we’ve sat at since the first time. I think we’ve become something of regulars, and I say so to Finny when she leaves.
“She thinks we’re dating.” He says, a red blush creeping onto his cheeks. “And, well, I mean we are now, but she thought so all summer.”
“I figured,” I say, because it’s an obvious conclusion to make, if you’re dining with a member of the opposite sex every single day, playfully joking around the way that we had been right before her eyes. “But how do you know?”
“You went to the bathroom one day, and she said, ‘Does your girlfriend want more orange juice?’ And I told her you did. I didn’t want to correct her. It sounded nice to hear you being called my girlfriend.” He admits shyly, as if he thinks I might laugh.
But how many times had I pretended the same thing? How many times had I felt a jolt of nervous excitement every time someone asked me if we were dating, or referred offhandedly to how cute my boyfriend was.
“When we went to the movies a few weeks ago, you left me at the concession stand to go fill up our drinks while I waited for the popcorn, and the girl said, ‘Your boyfriend’s really cute.’ Do you know what I said, Finny? I said, ‘Thank you.’” I laugh, recounting the story that feels so long ago, back when I thought he would never be mine.
A boyish smile spreads across his face and I’m overjoyed at how much it pleases him. How could we both have been wanting each other like this and not realized it?
He reaches across the diner table and grabs my hand, lacing our fingers together.
“Though now, you’re not really my boyfriend, are you?” I asked, his face dropping slightly. “You’re my fiance, right? Or did you wake up and realize that was crazy?”
My heart speeds up in fear that he might’ve changed his mind, but then his hand clenches mine tight enough to hurt, but in the way that can sometimes feel good, and he says, “I absolutely did not change my mind.”
“Good.” I squeeze back, and then laugh.
“What?” He asks, using his fingers to draw shapes on my hand.
“I just think it’s funny. Only you and I would be the ones to date for less than twenty-four hours before getting engaged.”
“It suits us.” He smiles, and then the waitress is back, holding our plates of food.
Finny lets go of my hand reluctantly as the waitress gives us a look for blocking the table space. I miss his contact immediately. There’s never been anyone whose touch or proximity I craved the way I crave Finny’s. I never found myself with the random urge to just hold onto Jamie, the way I find myself always wanting to hold onto Finny. I don’t know if he felt that way about Sylvie, but from my memory, I never saw them engaging in any type of PDA so I’m hoping it’s new for him, too.
We talked a little about the breakup, but if I’m being honest, I didn’t want to hear many details, and he didn’t seem to want to recap them. All that matters is it’s done and over with. I’m sure running into Sylvie won’t be entirely pleasant, but at least now if it happens, I won’t have to pretend that Finny means less to me than he is. And I’ll never again have to see him getting into his little red car ready to drive off with another girl, while I stood by wishing it were me with him instead.
“So,” He says, after a bite of french fry, “Jack wants to see me later, since I’ve sort of blown him off all summer. Maybe the three of us could watch a movie again?”
As tempting as it is to take up all of Finny’s time, I know that he needs to see his friends. And I do too, for that matter.
As bad as it sounds, I can’t wait to gloat to everyone who will listen about Finny finally being mine. Not because I think it’ll make Jamie jealous, or because I want to brag about moving on from our breakup. But simply because I love him so deeply and want to tell everyone who will listen that I’m loved in return by the most beautiful boy I’ve ever known.
“You two just hang out on your own. Catch up. I’ll go see Angie and the baby.” I say, knowing it’s been too long since I’ve seen her, anyway.
“Are you sure?” His brow furrows.
“Positive.” I nod, taking one of his fries. “It’ll be good for you. Besides, you promised me you’d sleep with me every night, remember?”
“I do,” He grins, “And I’m not going back on that.”
I grin back, and I wonder if my face will start to hurt soon from how often he makes me smile because every moment with Finny is this. Smiles and laughter and sunshine.
“Tell you what,” He proposes, “I’ll drop you off at Angie’s on my way to pick up Jack. We’ll hang for a few hours, then I’ll pick you back up, and then the three of us can watch a movie later at my place?” He smiles hopefully.
“Sounds good to me.” I say, and after I finish eating, I move over to his side of the booth to lay my head against his shoulder, not caring at all how I look like a ridiculous lovestruck girl that I would’ve made fun of before I knew what it was like to crave someone the way I crave Finny.
~*~*~*~
I’m laying on my stomach on Finny’s bed with a book in my hands that I can’t focus on, too preoccupied with memorizing the outline of him to focus on words on a page. He’s sitting on the floor with his back against the bed, playing a video game that I haven’t figured out the rules of.
It’s what we’ve done all summer, but it feels different now that he’s mine. I feel contentment in leisure, like I can finally let out a deep breath that I’d been holding in for years. Everything feels right.
His phone dings, and for half a second the insecurity in me flares viciously and I’m scared that it’s going to be Sylvie asking him to get back together. And even though I know how much he loves me, the illogical part of me is scared that he’ll want to.
It’s something I’ll have to work out in therapy, the illogical thoughts I know I need to get a grip on for the sake of our relationship.
They’ll probably say it has something to do with my father being absent, or growing up seeing my parent’s haphazard relationship. But I think it’s just me being so in love with Finny that I’m terrified of losing him.
I see Jack’s name and relief floats through me, but then I focus on Finny’s lock screen picture and warmth fills me all over.
It’s a selfie I took of us eating ice cream with a pink-orange sunset sky behind us. We’re sitting so close together our heads are touching, hair intertwining, and we both look really, really happy. I took the photo for the Moms, or at least that’s what I told him, because I knew how happy they had been about us hanging out together again and I wanted to preserve the moment for them. What I didn’t tell him was that I also wanted to preserve it for me, just in case it all ended again once Sylvie got back. It was back before I knew how everything would turn out. Before I knew I would never have to worry about losing Finny again.
“I love that you have a photo of us as your lock screen.” I tell him, because I never want to keep my feelings secret from him ever again. There’s no use in downplaying anything, not after all the time we’d lost because of our habit of doing that very thing. Finny deserves to know how much he’s loved every moment of the day, and I intend on telling him.
“It reminds me that it’s real. You know?” He says, turning from his game. “For so long, I thought us ever getting together was just a fantasy in my head. Now, every time my phone lights up, I get to see proof that it’s not.”
I bask in the warmth of his statement and bite my lip to keep from grinning like a kid. But then, he opens his phone to respond to Jack, and I see another photo of us as his background.
This one is us as kids, embracing each other so tightly that I don’t think even both of the Moms with their combined strength would’ve been able to tear us apart.
My eyes start to tear up as I relish in our shared history, how every memory I have is touched with Finny. I know other people must have beautiful love stories of their own, but I find it hard to believe any of them could ever compare to ours.
“Wow. I made it to both your lock screen and your wallpaper? I’m honored.” I say jokingly, even though it means the world to me.
“Can I tell you a secret?” He says, a faint blush coloring his cheeks. I look at him expectantly. “That’s been my background for years.”
“What?” I ask incredulously. “Even before-?”
“Even before.” He nods. “We might not have talked for all those years, but you were still the biggest piece of my heart, Autumn.”
“Come here,” I say, overwhelmed by emotion, and I pull him onto the bed with me and show him just how much he means to me.
~*~*~*~
When we tell the Moms about our plans for marriage, there is no outrage. There is no cry that we are too young or not ready. There is no “Why don’t you just wait a few years?”
There is only elation as they both agree, “We always knew that you’d figure it out.”
We’re sitting at the table in my kitchen where we’ve eaten dinner with the Moms every week for our whole lives, only now instead of talking about building tree houses or making snowmen, we are talking about getting married.
It’s surreal and bizarre and beautiful. I think all of us can feel it.
“When will it be?” Aunt Angelina asks with pride beaming on her face.
“We haven’t figured that out exactly,” Finny says, “But definitely before school starts.”
“What!” My mother cries. “But that’s only three weeks away! We’ll never have time to plan that fast!”
“We don’t want anything crazy.” I shake my head, seeing my mother already getting carried away, no doubt picturing me in some extravagantly frilly white dress. “We want to do it right here in the backyards, with only a few friends and family.”
“In the backyard?” My mother asks, slightly horrified.
“By the creek,” Finny agrees, holding my hand. “Because this is where all of our moments have been spent together.”
“Well, there is something poetic about that, isn’t there Claire?” Aunt Angelina sniffles, who would probably be content with us getting married in a ditch if the fancy struck us.
“Well, I suppose.” My mother huffs, her daydream of the perfect wedding fading away into oblivion.
But it is going to be the perfect wedding, for me. Because I’m marrying Finny. My best friend. My love. What could be more perfect than that?
~*~*~*~
Jack isn’t surprised that we’re getting married, and he doesn’t try to talk Finny out of it. Not in front of me, anyway.
“I guess I should’ve expected it when he changed your name in his phone to Autumn Smith with a heart right after you started dating.” He shrugs indifferently as we sit around eating pizza at the local parlor.
“To be fair,” Finny laughs, “I think we were engaged by that point, anyway.”
“Riiiight.” Jack nods with a roll of his eyes. “Weird.”
Finny hits his arm, and Jack holds up his hands in defense.
“Not that I’m not happy for you, Finn.” He amends. “I know this is like the only thing you ever wanted. I just personally never thought it would happen, so it’s a lot to take in so fast.”
“Well, I can’t blame you for that.” Finny says, “Considering I didn’t either.”
“Well, some part of me always knew.” I brag, because it’s true. Even though I had thought about marrying Jamie in the past, it had never felt right, because the image of Finny was always there.
“Would’ve been nice if you let me in on that.” Finny jokes and I push him playfully.
“So,” Jack sighs, “I guess I’ll have to dorm with a random, then. Thanks for that, Autumn.” He shoots me a glare, but his heart isn’t in it.
Finny wraps his arm around my shoulders and smiles at me. It feels like every moment I spend with him just makes me love him more.
~*~*~*~
Finny’s room has somehow become our room and I think the process of that started long before we got together. Most of the books I’ve read this summer are piled up beside his bed that I’d spend the last few months curled up on. My clothes are mixed in with his in his hamper and there’s traces of me all across his room. It’s the way it was when we were kids, but better.
Sometimes I nap in his bed while he plays video games and I wake up only to stir when he climbs in beside me to hold me. I don’t think he’s always tired but he stays there anyway, and when I wake up in the evening, he’ll put a movie on his TV and we’ll lay together with tangled limbs and intertwined bodies as we watch. Now, I don’t have to shy away from pressing against him during scary scenes, or grabbing him during the sad parts. Neither does he have to subdue himself when he reaches out to comfort me, pulling me against his chest so I don’t have to see the parts he knows will upset me. Finny is always there to protect me from the hard parts of life, and I have a feeling he always will be. Somehow, it makes even the most fearsome parts of life seem bearable.
~*~*~*~
I don’t think I’ll ever get used to seeing Autumn curled up asleep in my bed, more comfortable there than I’ve ever seen her anywhere before.
Though, I think it’s fair to say that now it must be considered our bed, considering she’s slept beside me in it every night for the last month.
It’s a strange thing, to see the girl I love fast asleep in the very bed I spent so many nights dreaming and agonizing over her in. Now, like a dream materialized that I never thought I’d experience in my waking life, she’s somehow miraculously here, and it’s better than anything my subconscious could’ve ever dreamed up.
“Finny,” She says, voice thick with sleep. Does she know what her voice saying my name does to me? Is she aware that it affects me more than anything else anyone has ever done? “Yes, beloved?” I say, pretending I was paying more attention to my video game than I was to admiring her sleeping form.
“Will you come to bed soon?” She asks, her brown eyes wide with longing.
And I say yes, of course, beloved. Because the only thing better than watching her sleep in our bed is being in it beside her.
~*~*~*~
It’s the last days of August and the summer that changed everything for us is finally coming to a close, and even though I’ve never been happier than I’ve been this summer, I do not fear it ending, because I know that our future holds even more for us.
It’s nearly two a.m. and Autumn’s head is in my lap laying across the couch as we watch reruns of a sitcom in the dark of my living room. The screen flashes, illuminating the dark space so every few moments I get a glimpse of Autumn’s beautiful face below me.
Lately, The Mother’s have taken to leaving us alone, giving us the time together that we’d been missing for years. I’m not complaining. After the time spent without her, I could spend the rest of my life with her and only her for company and never tire of it. I think they understand this, because it seems since we got together, that Mom has not-so-subtly basically moved into Auntie Claire’s house.
Jack, and most people probably, think it’s bizarre that our moms let their two eighteen year olds move in together and didn’t freak out when they announced a rapid plan for marriage. But, besides Autumn and I, The Mothers are the only ones who truly understand the dynamic Autumn and I share. I think they knew it was inevitable that this is where we were going to end up. And if I’m being honest, I think they’re relieved we figured it out now, instead of years down the road.
But we figured it out. And because we did, Autumn, the girl I’ve loved my entire life, the girl who’s going to be my wife soon, is laying down on my lap while I play with the dark strands of hair tumbling from her beautiful head. Every few moments, the sitcom makes her laugh and I’m rewarded with the most glorious sound in the world.
This is how it was always meant to be.
“I love you,” I tell her. I tell her every chance I can get. It feels like I can’t go more than a half hour without reminding her. But she has to know, for all those years I thought she did. For all the time spent where she lacked the crucial knowledge that she is the centerpoint of my universe.
She beams up at me with a smile that I’m pretty sure could alter the course of wars. “I love you, too, Finny.” She says, and I can feel it radiating from her how much she means it.
It’s something I never thought I could have, her love. Something I didn’t believe I ever deserved. But here she is, giving it freely and willingly with every breath. How did we ever end up here? How is it even better than I ever thought it could be?
I can’t help myself, so I lean down and kiss her forehead before I move my hands to her arms to squeeze them. It’s a habit I’d fallen into, a way to reassure myself that she’s really there with me. She smiles and closes her eyes, relishing in my touch. It still blows my mind that she craves me the way I do her. How could it be that I’m able to touch her like I have wanted to for so long, not only because she allows it, but because she wants it?
“You know,” She says, pulling me from my thoughts, “Those times when we used to watch TV together, sitting so far apart… I always used to wish we were doing something like this.”
She says things like this sometimes, and I still can’t wrap my mind around these little admissions. She wanted me back then. She wants me now. For as long as we’ve been alive, we have mutually wanted each other.
It colors all of our prior memories completely differently. Now, when I look back at those times when I longed and pined for her, I don’t have to suffer, because now I can think that the entire time, she had been wanting me too. We had still been each others.
“Autumn, that’s the only thing I thought about when we’d been sitting here. I don’t think I paid attention to a single second of anything we watched.” I still don’t.
“It used to be painful,” She says. “Those few feet of distance between us, when all I wanted to do was curl up right next to you and touch you. I wanted you to be mine.”
My heart clenches and it’s a feeling I can feel in my chest. “Autumn,” I say softly. Beloved. “I have always been yours.”
She sighs in contentment at my words and after a few minutes, her eyes flutter closed. We spend the rest of the night there on the couch, just like that.