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he's sitting in his room trying to meditate trying to focus his energy and his mind on one thing
calm
calm cool and collected
and maybe being happy
he's been doing good recently he has had panic attacks he hasn't had nightmares he....he's been good and this is how he stays good
he meditates
but holy fucking shit this is frustrating he can't sit still for this long he's had a bad morning and his thoughts...are rather morbid
'but that's ok' he thinks to himself 'It's ok to be upset and its ok to not be upset' he takes a deep breath 'its ok to be here' more deep breaths 'its ok to be alive its ok to exist'
back straight as a bored
hands together like birds and feathers
chest rising and falling like the summer sun and midnight moon
'describe everything' he thinks
"the plants surrounding me in my bedroom" he breathes deep his lungs filling with crisp clean air. he feels his lungs expand and shrink
expand and shrink
expand and shrink
"boots my cat outside sitting on the window seal"
expand and shrink
"crybaby my dog under my bed"
expand and shrink
"my papa in the kitchen"
he holds it this time
and a small giggle escapes him "he's making pancakes and listening to system of a down""
expand and shrink
"My name is Shinsou Hitoshi" he's going through the motions in his head his mantra "I'm 17 I'm not always happy but today I get to be ok" Deep breaths in and out expand and shrink "im ok today"
he takes one more deep breath and opens his eyes and stands up his harem pants flowing with every step he takes
his dog does not follow him
he goes to his closet he feels good today so he puts something on that feels good he keeps his flowy pants and puts on a tank top his rune necklace and a few bracelets he puts on his glasses, which help him see the world clearly and without strain. To keep his wild lilac hair in check, he puts it back with a headband that matches his pants but a few strans come free framing his face a bit. He feels ready to take on the day, surprisingly but he lets the feeling settle into him
more deep breaths
He strolled out of his bedroom, whistling a tune to get Crybaby's attention. The adorable pup peeked her head out from under his cozy bed and excitedly followed him to the kitchen, where Hizashi had just finished making breakfast.
"Hey, kiddo!" Hizashi exclaimed as he noticed his son, Shota, and Eri sitting at the dinner table. They appeared to be engrossed in conversation about who knows what. Hitoshi greeted his father with a soft smile and a gentle "Hey pops."
Hizashi's delighted expression lightened up as he turned around and spotted Crybaby following behind his son, His high-pitched voice welcomed the little pup, "And hello to you too, baby. Who's a good girl? Is it you? Is it you? Yes, it is, baby. Yes, it is." Crybaby's tail wagged with excitement, while Hitoshi rolled his eyes and smiled, shaking his head. "What's for breakfast?" he asked, although he already knew the answer. "Pancakes!" Hizashi announced proudly as he stood up. "Western style, fluffy with syrup and butter," he added with a grin. "Oooo they look good," Hitoshi remarked, admiring the appetizing sight. "Although I don't get the butter thing, why?" he inquired, and Mic chuckled. "Cause it's delicious," he replied, wearing a smirk. Suddenly, Aizawa spoke up, his head leaning on his hand, "Well, don't you look nice today." Hitoshi blushed with embarrassment, "Thanks, Dad," he replied. Eri also chimed in, "Yeah, you look super cool! Kinda look like a nerd, though." Mic couldn't hold back his laughter, "HA!" and Hitoshi acted hurt "Ah rude!" and Eri threw her hands up "What? im just sayin!"
Hizashi quickly intervened, "Alright, let's not start the day with teasing each other, okay? Let's enjoy our breakfast and have a good day." Aizawa nodded in agreement, while Hitoshi and Eri exchanged playful glares. As they sat down to eat, Hizashi asked, "So, what are everyone's plans for today?" Aizawa replied, "I have some paperwork to catch up on." Eri shared, "I'm going to work on some new drawings." Hitoshi said, "I'm thinking of going to the park to practice my guitar. or maybe paint something im not sure" Hizashi beamed with pride, "That's my boy! let me know how it goes" Hitoshi rolled his eyes once again, "I will, Dad." As they finished their breakfast, Hizashi cleared the dishes and said, "Well, I have a radio show to host this morning, so I better get going. Have a great day, everyone!" he kissed his husband goodbye and Eri waved goodbye, while Hitoshi mumbled a quiet "bye" mouth full of pancakes.
'today will be ok' hitoshi thought to himself and shouta spoke up "Right kids I gotta go do that paperwork make sure when you finish eating you put your plates up" he said as he got up "Love you" he said as he left and eri practically yelled "love you to daddy!" and hitoshi smiled
they finished eating and put their plates up and hitoshi felt anxiety creep up his neck
expand and shrink
"Today is ok," he thought and Eri tugged at his leg. Her voice was barely above a whisper as she asked him, "Big cat, are you okay?" Hearing her sweet voice instantly brought a smile to his face and he replied, "Yeah, sweet girl, I'm okay." He knelt down and hugged her tightly, feeling the warmth of her embrace.
After a moment, he stood up and said, "I'm gonna go practice, do you want to come sit in my room with me and draw?" He looked at Eri with a soft smile, hoping she would say yes. To his delight, her face lit up with excitement and she nodded vigorously.
Together, they walked to Hitoshi's room. Once inside, they settled down, with Eri drawing in her sketchbook, while Hitoshi practiced his guitar. he strummed the cords he didn't know the song he was playing he was just
playing
As Hitoshi played his electric guitar, the vibrations from the strings reverberated through his chest, spreading throughout his entire body. It felt like a spark he had kept small within himself was suddenly igniting into a million colors, creating a warm and gorgeous sensation that flooded his mind and body.
The experience was so overwhelming that he could not help but feel consumed by an intense sense of clarity and purpose. At that moment, he felt exquisitely alive, as if every fiber of his being was connected to his instrument. His eyes were closed, his heart pounding,
his hands moved with ease and grace, almost as if they knew what to do without his conscious command. It was as if they were meant to do this as if this was their true purpose. Hitoshi was overwhelmed with emotions and declared, "This is fuckin awesome."
and Eri giggled "This /is/ fuckin awesome"
.....what
hitoshi stopped his strumming and turned his head to his sister with a perplexed look and starred
"....BWAHAHA" he busted out laughing as he put his electric guitar on his bed "Did you really?!" he's crouched down and holding his stomach laughing his sister laughing along with him "Ohhh my gods I never thought hearing a 5 year old cuss would be so funny"
and she giggled and said "Sorry I just....iv heard Papa play and iv heard Daddy sing with him and I heard you play too it's just......that was different I think?" she said and hitoshi scooted up to where she was sitting on sketching desk "Like i could feel what you feel kinda?" she looked at him "does that make sense?" and hitoshi looked around his room the plants glowing in the sunlight coming through his window shining on his beautifully cluttered room filled with bones of past animals he's stubbled upon in a sleepy forest and trinkets he's collected and stole, his drawings and posters decorating the walls "yeah" he sighed "that makes sense"