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The days passed and everything was peaceful. At least for a while Ann could pretend that everything was fine, that there was nothing to worry about. After all, they had been over this. The time of agony was over and even the time before, where they might tear each other to literal shreds. It was all long gone and right now things go smoothly! Or they should go smoothly… It should, yeah. It should. But once apart they would be reminded of things, several things. They became… Scared.
It was a silly thought to be completely honest. No, it was dumb. Idiotic. Pathetic. Things shouldn't get to them like this and yet they were. Though they didn't let it get to them when he was around, at least somewhere close by. Though it was a constant back and forth. He spent quite a bit of time overseas after all and given the career plans it was of course understandable. They were not going to stop him, far from it. In fact they were as supportive as they could be from a distance. It was what they owed. No, it was what a partner should do! And even then… Was it enough? After all, one has to look at this from a more logical perspective.
He is worlds away from them. Technically this shouldn't work out… Right? Put them side by side and no one would think that the two even had any type of business with one another. A model and idol with a no name? Sounds like some twisted joke, doesn't it? Yeah, it does. And honestly it was still a surreal feeling for Ann.
First impressions and opinions on Izumi Sena aside, it was not something anyone probably expected. Wouldn't a model mingle with someone more… Classy? Or at least outstanding? Someone who looks good, yeah. Has a sense of fashion or something. Someone who can carry themself just fine and who is up to date. Or… Something like that. It was hard to put into words. And that's just about it on the outside.
Actually, given how much he just nags and complains it is hard to believe that these two are even a couple. After all, they heard so many complaints.
“Ah yeesh, did you burn your hand again!? Hah, stay there. I'll take care of it. So annoying.”
“Ann! What is that!? … I know how instant ramen looks! Are you seriously eating junk food again!? Ugh, come with me… And throw that away while at it!”
“Wha– Your room's a literal garbage dump again! How did you pull that off!? You're hopeless all by yourself… How can you even live like that?”
And these were just some examples. No day passed without Izumi mentioning something, complaining about anything Ann did or said. And he was not sugarcoating it either and they did not expect him to do that. But… Given how much he does it…
Isn't he going to grow tired of it? Who says he isn't actually!? He loves to say it himself! ‘ So annoying ’. Yeah, and they couldn't disagree… Each time they wondered why he was still keeping up with it. Or was he? Maybe he wasn't. It's a possibility, right!? If he's annoyed that much he will grow sick if it, won't he!?
It's not as if they weren't trying either. They were. But each time they even touch a pan or pot they burn the ingredients into flames. As for cleaning, they tended to kick the bucket over and throw things around, turning it into a mess. Sleeping schedule? Well… The bags under their eyes said it all. Needless to say, he always found something. And there always was something.
So why? Why!? They were wondering just that… Why? What was up with that? Or was it like a ticking time bomb, waiting for everything to pile up and when the time comes it would all explode, right into their face? The thought alone made their stomach turn, twist it in various ways. It was painful but they couldn’t get it out of their mind when he was overseas. Because all it takes was meeting someone else, someone who clearly has everything sorted out…
“ I’m not gonna leave you by yourself if I can help it! ” They recall those words still, even if time had passed at this point. But who is to say that will last? Time and time had proven it… Ugh, honestly, the truth was that they believed they were not good enough by design. What value did they even have? All they could think about was how they were always a mess…
Sure, they had been reassured several times, especially at first, and he meant it. They could hear it. It was genuine. And yet… Was this really good enough? Weren’t they becoming overbearing? What if he changed his mind? It was always a possibility.
Hah, it was stupid to think all of that though. They knew, of course they did. However, even if they knew, it was still a lingering fear. Sure, right now they were happy to be in company. But what if it ends? What if it all ends? From one day to the next. One mistake and it is all over, isn’t it? Especially when there’s little value to you overall. What can you offer? What can you do? No beating around it, they were scared, scared of one possibility… Just hearing one sentence. One small one.
“ It’s over. ”
Three words to end it all. All of this in one swoop, wash it all away and make this time null and void. It was an unreasonable fear but there is always a chance of someone leaving, isn’t there?
You believe someone is your friend for over a decade? That means nothing. They can also just be gone by going against you or finding better friends. Couldn’t that be true in any other instance as well, no matter how close you are?
Though the longer this drags on the longer this fear was eating them up. One could only overlook it for so long… But letting anyone know? No, that would lead nowhere. What they had to do was prove themself the entire time, prove that they are worth something… And not mess anything up by their own stupidity. That is why things usually go out of hand anyway. At least give them a chance to cling onto the situation as long as—
Hah, what were they thinking? This was all stupid, just stupid. Why was that still lingering? Hah, talk about a headache… They should just get back to work. Yeah, forget about it. Thinking about it doesn’t get them anywhere at the end of the day. It would only make it worse. Way worse. Just forget about it. Forget. Distract yourself. They’ll find a reason why someone would willingly stay with them. They were too much of a mess right now anyway.
But even if they forget, there’s one thing always crossing their mind… They don’t want to be alone again…
“Ann? H… Hey, Ann! Ann!” They had been called out a few times, hearing their name being repeated all of a sudden. It had hit their ears out of nowhere and when they came back to reality, their thoughts having finished rushing through their mind they finally noticed what had been going on. And needless to say, it was embarrassing.
Reality was that the two had been standing inside the office, probably for some time now. And it had then hit Ann out of nowhere, or rather them remembering what had been going on.
Right, today was the day after a few weeks where Izumi had gone back to Japan. He had his jobs in Florence after all, being in that constant back and forth. Ann had not forgotten. In fact, maybe they had just looked forward to that day and the closer it got the more comments they got on how cheerful they seemed. Or in better spirits than usual. They liked to think that they could hide it but everyone had asked them the last few days. Even Leo pointed it out shortly after he came back, a little bit before Izumi did. Needless to say, everyone knew something was up but even fewer knew the exact reason (or so they hoped… Please god do not let this be an open secret case).
Back to the present, they had then just now realized again that they were essentially just latching onto the guy, though not facing him. Instead they had just managed to bury themself into his chest, unable to face him. In truth they just wanted to hide their expression at the moment, they always did. Facing him after so long of an absence was always somewhat overwhelming to be honest, sometimes it felt nothing but surreal. Being able to feel him so close, being able to shove themself onto him right then and there, right into his arms, being able to embrace him… It was always hard to believe for them. And yet, they could never stop themself all the same. If this was a dream they just begged to never wake up from it.
But they had to let go eventually. Because him calling them out got a little embarrassing. Especially if standing around right then and there. They flinched for a short moment before their arms were able to let go, their body backing off and revealing their flushed face, just showing how nervous they were at the end of the day. “S… Sorry!” It shot out of their mouth, looking away in embarrassment. One would think that they were able to help it and yet… It seems that they never learned to do just that.
All it got out of him was a sigh and a headshake. “Good grief, I didn’t even say anything and you’re already clinging onto me like a koala.” He said, his gaze a little bit sharp at least. Though they had gotten used to it, admittingly. At least when it came to a hint of sharpness at least.
All they could let out was a nervous chuckle. Were they clinging like that!? N… No way, right? Right!? Well, then again, they probably threw themself onto him without hesitation.
“You seriously thought I didn’t come back or something? Or are you that lonely?” He remarked, the end sounding somewhat snarky. He pointed it out without hesitation after all, finishing off with a light smirk… A smirk they knew all too well.
It left them almost speechless yet flustered all the same. Though they shook their head, merely because they didn’t want him to gain the upper hand. “N… No! It’s… Not like that!” They responded somewhat slowly yet lying… Obviously lying. Very obviously lying. It was painfully obvious. So obvious. “Just… Er… Ahem…”
“You should work on your acting skills. Because you are convincing no one here.” He threw in, having even more of a grin now. And they felt called out, literally.
“S… So what!? Partners can… Miss the other!” They protested, noticing one of their cheeks puffing up, at least a little. This was just embarrassing now. Though it was not unusual for them to get a little touchy. Surely in a few days they had it all sorted out.
Yeah, because the only reason why they were so flustered was because… Well… Being shot down. At least he didn’t seem to wanting to do that this time, much to their relief. They just couldn’t help it. If it was possible, they would probably cling onto him for as long as they possibly could. The desire was always too strong after a time of absence. They would never say it into Izumi’s face nor admit it directly but yes. They missed him that much. Even if it was only for a few weeks. Because it was somewhat lonely otherwise. All because they didn’t want to be alone in the end.
“Alright fine, I have some time later. I’ll drag you somewhere if I have to since you missed me so much~” He teased in the end however. Did he know? Maybe to some extent but not to the entire extent… Right? Yeah, maybe he just had some idea.
“Wha— I did not say—” They were about to counter but shut up quickly, knowing that this was correct. Very correct in fact. “Wh… Whatever… Fine. Got time after all.”
But they were happy, even if only for this moment. Yeah, being alone was the worst. Even if only for a short while.