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"I think I want to go back to using he/him pronouns", Jungkook says in what appears to be a random throw away manner. Yoongi frowns as Jungkook intentionally doesn't meet his face. Jungkook shrugs before speaking up again, "I want to go back to using he/him pronouns".
This time Yoongi drops his laptop on the kitchen island, switches off the stove and walks over to Jungkook to take their hands in his before dragging them to the sofa. There's already tears in Jungkook's eyes when they sit down. Yoongi doesn't know what to do.
"Bun, can you tell me what's going on?" Yoongi whispers, stimming nervously with both of their fingers. Jungkook just gives a tight lipped smile and shrugs. Yoongi knows to wait for them to put their words in order and not to pressure them but he can feel his anxiety grow the more they remain tight lipped and try to swallow the tears.
It seems like aeons before Jungkook finally replies. "Outside of you and the people on my gaming discord, no one really acknowledges my pronouns", It takes everything in Yoongi not to interrupt, "everytime I go somewhere new or meet new people and they ask me my pronouns, they never use it outside that first use. And yeah I thought maybe it's because I don't have queer friends but the other day I hung out with Namjoon and his queer friends and by the 3rd minute they had defaulted to he/him. I wanted to insist, I really did but it just feels like I have to fight to feel safe in somewhere that's already a safe place. And yeah I did think, for a while, having you and Mimi and Tae and Jin never forgetting to use my correct pronouns would help but it just makes it hurt worse cause I keep getting a taste of what being validated means only to get it ripped off from me ten times. And I want to fight hyung, I really do. Sometimes that's all I want to do. I wanna be that trans kid in all the movies I watch and stories I read but I'm tired. So fucking tired Yoongi"
"So I think it's best I just lock it up and stop being greedy. Maybe when I'm 60, if I haven't killed myself yet, I'll let myself have this." Jungkook breaks into quiet sobs as soon as they finish ranting. Yoongi is thrown for a loop on how to reply so he just hugs them close. He hates that he can't intrinsically understand Yoongi no matter how much he wants to. While he's gay he has always felt very sure and affirmed by his assigned gender at birth, he will never understand what it feels like to be perceived as something different from what is in your soul.
Despite how much his thoughts are shouting at him to say something, Yoongi doesn't. He feels like he has nothing to offer besides platitudes that he's sure Jungkook doesn't need to hear. He wants to reach out and call or text his boyfriend but Yoongi knows that if Jungkook wanted someone to pep talk and deep dive with them, he'd have gone to Namjoon straight up.
So Yoongi sits with Jungkook in his arms and pets them through their sobs until they eventually die down and then the both of them sit cuddled up on the sofa in relative silence. Yoongi still doesn't know what to do to help Jungkook but he hopes that at least his presence is calming enough for them to think through. He hopes that one day someday, Jungkook can be exactly who they are publicly, nothing more nothing less, but until then, Yoongi will hold the cracked pieces of Jungkook till they smooth over.