Chapter Text
The thing about hanging out in graveyards at two a.m is that none of his siblings knew that he did it. Kokichi knew that he had a hard time sleeping, but he hadn't had Dice following him around since they were suddenly reunited with their other siblings and none of the others had ever asked Kimochi about what he got up to at night.
Kanade had said it best, hadn't she? He didn't tell them about his nightmares or his fears. He was constantly hiding knives and lighters from Kokichi so that he wouldn't ask what Kimochi got up to when he wasn't being watched. He hadn't even told his brother about Kanade, not directly. Kimochi knew that Kokichi was aware of her, because Kaede was aware of him and seeing them together was part of what led to him getting introduced to their class. They'd never hung out together though. She existed as a completely separate slice of his life. A secret that wasn't a secret.
Kokichi would care if he knew. He didn't think the others would though. Kouchi shared his company, but he didn't share himself. Koharu barely looked at him most days. Of his new siblings, only Kouchi had said that he loved him. Kimochi still didn't know if he believed that or not, but even if Kouchi loved him, that didn't mean that Kouchi cared about him.
Kimochi didn't expect them to. They wanted to get to know Kokichi, and he was always good at being the biggest person in a room. Being flashy and interesting and pulling all eyes on him. Kimochi wasn't like that unless he was pretending. So it made sense that they didn't need Kimochi for anything when Kokichi was right there. It made sense that even when he was a part of a set instead of a pair, that Kimochi was basically just a spare.
It didn't hurt when it was just the two of them.
Kanade had already headed home for the night, so it was just him now. He tried to be home before the sun rose and thus far no one had caught him or run into him with those rules. Tonight was the night that changed though.
Kimochi walked around the back of a mausoleum and caught an unexpected sight. He recognized his own face easily enough, even if the other details took a moment longer to sink in.
He didn't flinch at the flash of a knife coming at him and the blade stopped when his brother recognized him. He didn't question the bright red stains on his clothes or the wild fire look in his eyes, which seemed to cool as he realized Kimochi was the one that had found him. He stayed silent, watched the gears change from fight toward flight, and spoke before seeing if it would hold. "Kouchi."
Just that. Just the acknowledgement that he'd found his brother blood splattered behind a mausoleum, dragging a man by his heels.
There was a lot to unpack here, but Kimochi, selfishly, wondered if this was why his brothers didn't care about him. If they were all too busy hiding from each other to care. Kimochi was the same to an extent, but he had at least tried. That was only his first thought.
His second thought was that Kokichi wouldn't like this if he knew.
"Kimochi." His name was said with a tense sigh. It was probably stressful to be caught burying a body. "I... can explain."
Kimochi had kept his face blank this whole time, just thinking and processing. He supposed that it would be strange not to talk about finding your brother burying a body in the middle of the night. Kokichi would want the who and the why and a few other details that Kimochi himself didn't really care about. And really, the idea of an explanation left a sour taste in his mouth because Kouchi telling him anything like this wasn't so much a choice as it was damage control.
Well, his siblings hating him had never stopped him from smiling before, so he wouldn't let it be any different now. Even if his insides felt like they were twisting up for all the wrong reasons and he could already see the disappointed look Kokichi would have given him, Kimochi had already decided that he wasn't going to tell anyone.
Kimochi had never had a hard time smiling. It wasn't any harder now. "Let's walk home together," he said. "I'll wait."
Kouchi stared at him, a calculating expression on his face. Kimochi could make a few educated guesses on what his brother was thinking, but the truth was that he didn't know Kouchi well enough to make more than basic assumptions. Kimochi leaned against the side of the mausoleum and slid down until he was crouching beside it. Then on a whim, he also closed his eyes, just in case his brother wanted to hit him with the shovel and tell him it was all a dream. Kimochi wasn't the boss of him, after all, he couldn't tell Kouchi how to deal with his dark secrets. That was Kokichi's job.
Kimochi's job, he had long ago decided, was to keep, love, protect. It was odd to do that for more than Kokichi now, but he was trying. Had been trying. Being the evil twin made it easier to love without restrictions after all. Though... he supposed he wasn't a "twin" anymore, strictly speaking.
"I am finished."
Kimochi opened his eyes at that. He was almost surprised that Kouchi hadn't decided to hit him with the shovel, but he was pretty pleased about it. The chances of his new brother trying to bury him out here were lower than being dragged home and gaslit again, but it was still a concern.
He felt distinctly more cheerful when he dusted himself off and stood, giving Kouchi another smile. "Let's go."
Kouchi was tense. Kimochi would be tense if he was going home after doing something that would make Kokichi mad at him, too. He wanted to offer to hold Kouchi's hand, but he isn't sure if his brother likes that. He wanted to ask if Kouchi was okay, but that would be a silly question when he was walking so stiffly. Kouchi was very clearly upset and at least one of the reasons why was Kimochi's fault.
Kouchi sighed. "You must have questions."
He did, but probably not the ones Kouchi meant. He tilted his head at his brother, but stayed silent and waited for Kouchi to fill in the blanks however he wanted.
"I assure you that my actions were not taken lightly. That man was a blight upon this world that needed to be cleansed."
Oh. Not an accident then. He wondered if Kokichi would still forgive him. Kouchi was their brother, so surely he wouldn't get kicked out of Dice? It's definitely way worse that he did it on purpose, but maybe being their brother would change things?
"There is unchecked darkness and cruelty in this world, Kimochi, and someone has to stand against it. Those that hurt others can't be allowed to continue getting away with it."
He had done this before then. More than that, he absolutely planned to do it again. Kokichi wouldn't allow that at all. Kimochi knew that more than most. Kokichi would never want Kouchi around Dice.
Kouchi stepped in front of him, looking Kimochi in the eye as he said, "I would never hurt someone that didn't deserve it."
That wouldn't soothe Kokichi. He didn't like it when you hurt anyone at all. He wouldn't be as kind to Kouchi as he had been to Kimochi. They were older, after all, and Kouchi wasn't even sorry.
Kouchi placed a hand on his shoulder and that was when Kimochi realized that his brother was waiting for a response. "This can be our little secret, right, Mochi?"
That sent a small jolt through him. This was the first time that any of his siblings had called him by his nickname and it was... it was a bribe. It felt like a bribe. Like a carrot on a string. He hated strings... He ignored all that though. Pushed it away. It would be odd if his brother didn't try to manipulate him after catching him burying a dead body, right? This should be expected. It shouldn't hurt. It didn't matter.
"Kokichi would be mad," Kimochi told him. "You know the rules of Dice, right? Even if you were doing this before, how can you keep doing it knowing that?"
Kouchi was watching even more closely now. Kimochi couldn't guess at what he was looking for, what he was finding. "Some things have to be done even if others don't like it. That's what it means to do the right thing."
"This is more important to you than being kicked out of Dice?" he asked. "More important than Kokichi hating you?"
Kouchi smiled at him, kind and indulgent in a way that Kimochi wasn't prepared for. "Kokichi's feelings are not your responsibility, Mochi." Kimochi blinked at Kouchi in surprise before looking away.
"Ah, s-sorry."
Kouchi turned Kimochi's face back toward him, a serious look in his eyes. "I would never hurt you, Mochi. I would never hurt any of you."
Oh. It seemed that he had never been in danger of the shovel after all.
Kimochi wasn't able to stop himself from reaching out to grab onto the front of Kouchi's coat. He was already clinging to him before he had noticed. He still didn't know if his brother liked being touched though and Kimochi still hadn't said anything, had he? So he didn't know how else to say that he wasn't mad when he was so many other things at the same time.
Kouchi seemed to understand though. He opened his arms, inviting Kimochi to hug him and he took the opportunity to embrace his brother unreservedly. It was too early for there to be a rift formed between them. Not when Kimochi had only just found him and the others.
They stayed that way for a while, but eventually they needed to continue on their way if they wanted to be home before sunrise. Once they were outside the house, Kimochi pulled on Kouchi's sleeve to stop.
"Thanks for not hitting me with the shovel," he whispered before walking past him.
"What?" Kouchi asked behind him, but Kimochi didn't stop to answer. Probably better not to tell his brother what he was expecting.