Chapter Text
Its not like Spider wasnt thankfull for everything Sully family did for him, he was very thankfull for taking a stray dog like him into the Omatikaya. But sometimes he felt lonely.
Like an outsider. An alien. Something that does not belong there, he was used to weird and judging stares from Omatikaya's Na'vi's. Whispers about him. "Demon child" they said.
Sometimes Spider couldnt get out of bed. Like every bad memory felt like a chain, pinning him to the bed. When that happend he usually gathered up enough energy to at least try to seem okay. Norm was suspecting something for sure, Max probably too. Kiri was the only one that understood him, she always did. She was like a sister Spider never had.
Today was one of those dark days.
Spider opened his eyes, his gaze falling upon his room's window, the light in the High Camp already creeping into the bedroom meaning it was probably around noon. He heard knocking on his door and he mutter a Quick "Come in". "Kiri's asking for you." Norm said, standing in the door's frame "Tell her I'll be out soon." Spider muttered, hiding his nose in the duvet. Norm stood there quietly, staring at the half-awake boy "Are you okay Spider?" He asked suddenly. "Mhm, Im fine." Spider quickly brushed him off and soon after Norm left and closed the door.
Spider turned in the bed and sighed, knowing he needs to get up because Kiri is waiting for him. He sat up groggily and looked around for his loincloth that he tossed somewhere yesterday. He spotted it and picked it up, going to the bathroom.
After he got dressed and painted his blue-stripes on he walked out of his room. Surprisingly no one was in the main lab which meant that Norm and Max must be outside, Norm probably in his Avatar and Max... Max could be doing anything, really.
He took his mask and put it on, thankfully he put new batteries yesterday. After checking if the mask is on he stepped out of the shack, seeing that the High Camp was already awake. Na'vi's doing their jobs, weaving, hunting, cooking and whatever they wished to do. "Spider!" He heard a familiar voice say, he turned to his right to be welcomed by Kiri as she runned to him. "Hey Kiri." He smiled at his best friend and went down the shack's stairs to step onto the cold Stone. She stopped right in front of him "Look, Ive made myself a new bracelet from that Stone you found yesterday!" she beamed as she stuck out her arm to show him the woven accesory on her wrist.
It had the blue little Stone in the middle with leafs around, it was trully pretty. "Its amazing Kiri!" He said as she took her arm back. "Come, Tuk is probably making Lo'ak carry her around, lets spare his back." she joked and Spider chuckled, then they walked to the Sully's marui.
The walk was silent, only a few murmurs of the other's, Demon child, alien, One of them.
It made Spider shudder as he looked at his feet, trying to ignore them. When they arrived the first thing they saw was Tuk clinging to Lo'ak's back, that made Spider remember the times when he could carry her around without any problems. Its not like he cant now, its just that Tuk is almost his height and carrying her around is much more difficult now. When she spotted them her eyes widened with excitment. "Spider!" she cheered as she stepped to the ground, running to Spider. "Hey Tuk-Tuk, are you trying to kill Lo'aks back?" He chuckled as she clinged to his side, placing an arm around her shoulders. "Im not that heavy!" she pouted "I know you arent, dont worry Im just joking." he said softly and looked at Lo'ak "Hi dude, whats up?" Lo'ak smiled as he walked over to him and Kiri.
"I see you've slept in today, huh?" Lo'ak asked with a grin but not for long when Kiri punched him in the arm and he hissed an "Ow", his ears pressing against his skull. "What did I do?!" He blurted out looking confusingly at his sister but she only gave him a stare. Spider looked at the both of them, knowing that Kiri must know that he felt off today, but decided to rescpect his privacy and not saying a single word about it. After that they hanged out for a bit before they could register it, it was sunset and Spider headed off to the shack.
As he opened the main door he heard a familiar voice behind another door.
Wait. What the hell, was that Jake's voice?!
it wasnt common for Jake to go inside the shack, when he needed to talk with Norm or Max they usually met in the outdoor's avatar's marui. So when he heard Jake he froze, only taking off his mask and placing it on a shelf, not daring to open the door that separated the hall and the main lab. He walked slowly to the door, listening carefully until He could hear everything.
"He's acting strange lately." Norm's voice filled the silence "Im getting concerned, he doesnt talk to us anymore, except for Quick answers. Its like he's trying to isolate himself. He also sleeps in late. He didnt do that when he was younger.". "Maybe its just the growing up stage, you know, I wasnt very talkative at his age too." he heard Jake's voice this time. "Might be, but please, if he starts to act strange tell me immediately." Norm added and a few murmurs were exchanged before silence fell over again.
Spider sighed and opened the door to walk into the lab, seeing, as he figured out, Jake and Norm. They turned around to look at him and he suddenly felt very exposed. As Quick as he could he slipped into his room, closing the door behind him.
Shit.
He felt so... Tired. But why? He doesnt have a reason to feel tired, everything is fine for Eywa's sake! Why is his stupid mind feeling so shitty suddenly?! He slid down the door to the floor, pulling his knees to his chest. Stupid human mind.
Maybe he should stay in his room tommorow, isolate himself for a while. He felt tears Sting in the corner of his eyes. Why is he even crying? Nothing bad happend, he had fun time with his friends!
But he doesnt deserve them.
They're Toruk Makto's children, and he? He is a kid of a demon. The One that Toruk Makto killed.
Demon Blood.
Alien.
Demon.
One of them.
His mind swirled around, making him Dizzy as a sob clawed out of his chest. Whats happening? He clasped a hand over his mouth to muffle the sound, Norm and Jake cant hear his pathetic cries. He thightly shut his eyes, hot tears running down his face. He gasped as another sob appeared, opening his eyes wide. He frantically looked around his room, eyes darted to the clock. 5 PM. He's been awake for only five hours, so why is he so exhausted? He aggresively rubbed his eyes, smearing the tears under his eyes and stood up. The action made him Dizzy and black spots appeared in his vision for a while before they dissapeared.
He opened the dresser to pull out a pair of sweats and a t-shirt. He quickly changed and plopped into his bed. Pulling the duvet up to his chin. After a breakdown his mind felt foggy, like drained up from every energy he had left. Why was he born like this. Why he couldnt just be a careless Na'vi running in the forest, being able to ride ikrans, pa'li and connect with Eywa. Why cant he have a Kuru? Tsaheylu. He's useless to the clan because he doesnt have a queue, the most important thing in Na'vi culture. Does Eywa even recognize him as her child? Probably not, he's not Na'vi. He didnt even once connect to the Spirit Tree and he never will. He closed his eyes and sighed.
Why it needs to be like this.