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Sara can feel the sweat running down her neck as her legs shake. She grips her podium with whitening knuckles, the tablet in front of her glaring. [Please choose who to vote for.] All of the impossible choices, the candidates, her allies , stare back at her. Keiji's kind, assessing eyes, Kanna’s sweet smile, Nao’s slightly surprised expression, Sou’s raised eyebrows, she—
How can she choose? This is unfair, this is terrible, she doesn’t want, she never wanted— I told Gin I would take fucking responsibility, I have to, I need to— she glances up—
Sou looks back at her, eyes wild and pleading. He glances back and Sara follows his gaze, to where Kanna is standing stock-still, to where she has closed her eyes and inclined her head in that accepting way. Like… she knows she will be the one sacrificed. Silent, thin tears slowly track down her cheeks, because who would want her, after all? An immature, useless middle school girl…..
Sara chokes a bit. Tastes bile in the back of her throat. Sou, then. A choice that would have been obvious a main game ago, hell, half an hour ago. But now—
All he had wanted was to survive, too. Just like the rest of them. God, she had hated him. But… what would she have done, in that situation? Waking up alone in the first trial and immediately being told no matter what you do, you will die. The others will kill you. This is a fact. This is something you cannot escape . Waking up without allies, without Joe—
Fuck—
Her hands shake. She wracks her brain one last time, trying to think of something, anything, any loophole, any slip of the tongue, anything she has missed. Come on, Sara, get a fucking grip. She looks at the choices. Kanna has 3 votes. Sou has 3 votes. Nao has 2 votes. If the Sacrifice wins… if the Keymaster wins… And I absolutely can’t vote for Keiji because—
Wait.
Why exactly, can’t she vote for Keiji? If the Keymaster wins, everyone dies, or if the Keymaster ties with anyone else they win, but……
The pessimistic side of her, the side of her that has been beaten to a pulp by all of this death, interrupts before she can finish the thought. That would probably mean three people die, instead of two. Or if anything, Safalin would just make us redo the vote right away, and the outcome would be the same. And I would be right back at square one. Or the Sacrifice would still die. Or—
Or—
If there is anything Sara has learned here, it is to never make an assumption. Split every hair possible. Pursue every possibility, every avenue, leave no stone unturned, just keep trying, ask all that there is to ask and more…
Maybe, just maybe, there is still a way out.
She grips the podium and looks up. “Safalin…” she says slowly, hesitantly.
“Ooh, ummm, yes?” comes the response, as Safalin worries the edge of her hat.
“I just have one last question.”
The air leaves the room as everyone turns to her. Sou looks at her, untrusting, jaw tightening. Keiji raises his eyebrows. Gin looks at her timidly, clutching Mew-chan. Kanna’s expression shifts, and she opens her eyes. Reko and Q-taro both look at her, bemused. Nao’s lips turn down fearfully, and she swallows.
Sara steels herself. This probably won’t change anything, probably isn’t even worth pursuing. But it nags at her. She knows she’ll lie awake wondering about it if she doesn’t ask. The slightest chance of salvation. She just has to desperately grasp at even the faintest glimmer of hope, even the tiniest, 0.01% chance of escape. Maybe that makes her stupid. Maybe that makes her strong. Maybe her stubbornness will be the one thing that saves them.
She takes a deep breath.
This is our only chance.
“What would happen if it wasn’t the Keymaster or Sacrifice,” she glances at Sou as his eyebrows raise, “but two Commoners who tied for first?”
There is a heavy silence following her words. For one long, eternity-like moment, nobody moves.
And then—
And then—
Safalin visibly flinches. Her grip on her hat tightens, and she begins to whine. What if—
Still, nobody says anything. There’s a sense that if they do, this moment will be shattered.
“Oooh! A-ahh, you, you!” Safalin breaks out, wailing. “Ummm, oough, you—you weren’t supposed to—aa—aaah! You weren’t supposed to ask thaaaaat!”
Sou’s eyes widen. He grabs his scarf in that way that he does when he needs to ground himself. “Safalin,” he says shakily. “What happens?”
“Aaa-ahhh,” Safalin continues to wail, curling in on herself. “This isn’t supposed to happen, you’re not supposed to no—ooo-otice, you cah—caan’t,”
Sara’s gaze snaps to her feet. “H-hey everyone,” she says, voice hard and trembling. “Will you forgive me if I take a bit of a gamble?”
There is a heaviness in the air.
Slowly, Gin moves first, coming and clutching at Sara’s waist. He mumbles into her blazer. “Big sis Sara, I trust youuu, meowww,”
Sou looks at her, expression inscrutable. Then, he begins to laugh brokenly, and tears run down his cheeks. “Just know, miss Sara, that if Kanna dies because of this, I’ll make sure to kill you myself!”
She sucks in a breath and nods. She looks around at the others. She can see that look in their eyes, the one where they’re trying not to get too hopeful. She nods again, mostly to herself. She clutches at Gin, who still clings to her waist. Maybe, just maybe, what if. She brings a shaking hand up to her tablet, and firmly presses on Keiji’s face. The confirmation pops up.
[Vote for Keiji ?]
[Yes] [No]
She presses [Yes] . Her heart pounds in her ears.
[...All votes have been received. Displaying results…]
For yet another long, painful moment, nothing happens. Then the votes appear. They’re allocated just like everyone said they would be. Keiji, one vote. Kanna, three votes. Sou, three votes. Nao, two votes. Nobody moves. Nobody knows what will happen. Safalin continues to writhe on the floor.
And then, silently, the doors leading back to the dorm rooms open. Safalin incoherently mumbles to herself. Doesn’t get up. Doesn’t move to kill anyone. All of them look at each other, not wanting to believe. This could be a trap. If we start walking we’ll all die, or something. This can’t be. It can’t be it.
This is too good to be real.
Wordlessly, as at this point they all know they’re thinking the same thing, they gather in the center of the ring of podiums. Then, grasping at each other, as a group, they slowly walk together towards the dorms. Once the eight of them are past the threshold, the door closes behind them. Nobody dies. No punishment comes. There is nothing but silence for yet another long moment. Nobody looks at each other. Nobody moves. All of them are shaking.
And then, all of a sudden, Sara breaks away from the group, falls to her knees, and vomits. She starts to sob openly. And finally, the long silence is broken. Keiji slowly crouches next to her and rubs her back, gently murmuring. Gin yelps that he’ll get water, meow, and bounds off. Reko crouches on her other side and gently coaxes her to look up so she can wipe off her mouth with a spare tissue.
Nao collapses next to Reko and starts to weep into her shoulder. When Reko finishes wiping Sara’s mouth, she turns to Nao and wraps both of her arms around her, starting to cry as well. “I-idiot, I’m going to ruin my makeup,” she defends, but she doesn’t mean it, and they both know it.
Q-taro settles on the floor near all of them and takes off his hat as his shoulders begin to shake. His breaths come haltingly. He hides his face in his hands and folds over into himself.
Gin returns with the water, and falls to his kees next to Keiji, where he presses himself into his side, seeing that Sara is covered in vomit. He trembles, hiding his face, and wordlessly Keiji reaches his other arm around him to pull him close. Tears track down his cheeks.
Sou and Kanna have fallen to the floor, holding each other and sobbing. Sou presses Kanna to his chest, like he can’t believe that she’s alive, that they’re both here, that they’re both okay, that once again he has cheated death but that she has, too.
“Kanna, Kanna, promise me you won’t do that again, don’t try and sacrifice yourself, next time we might not be so lucky, you can’t, Kanna, you’re just a kid, okay, Kanna” he babbles. Kanna wails into his shirt, tightening her grip.
She pulls back and sniffles, voice breaking, “Kanna doesn’t want to lose Sou either! Kanna wants to be at Sou’s side, she can’t lose him too!” and something profound and pained crosses his face and he just starts crying, and crying, and crying.
— * —
In the hours that follow, in a dream-like haze, everyone cleans themselves up. Reko helps Sara to the shower in her dorm room. Everyone bathes and changes out of their clothes soaked with sweat and tears. Gin aggressively makes sure everyone drinks water and eats something. Nao cleans up Sara’s vomit. It's okay, really, it's the least I can do, Sara.
Afterwards, once everything winds down, Sou invites Sara to the rubble-filled room and turns on the Joe AI. (Did he make that? Or just find it while hacking? It doesn’t matter.) Not for the first time that day, Sara begins to cry, and she tackles a very surprised Sou into a bear hug. He hesitantly reaches up and holds her, too. Sara’s gratitude is an overwhelming thing, and he is overcome with the sheer warmth of it. Maybe he should have done things differently from the start. Maybe things could have gone better. Maybe this is why Kanna just wanted him to get along with everyone.
He pulls back. “H-hey miss Sara, I just— I wanted to apologise for—”
“For giving me the Sacrifice?” she finishes, and he stiffens. She looks him in the eye. Takes a shaky breath through her tears. He braces himself. “I— I was so angry, when I had it,” she says. “I wondered, ‘After everything I’ve done? This is how I’m thanked?’ And I still am angry about it, I think,” she pauses again, trying to formulate what she wants to say, and he slumps a bit, of course she still hates you, you lying, filthy, rotten piece of sh— “But ultimately this is… the fault of the people who brought us here.” she finishes.
“I—”
“We all… We’ve all been pushed to be people we don’t want to be. We’ve all been forced to make impossible choices. And ultimately you were trying to save her, weren’t you? I think I might have made a similar choice, had I been forced into the corner you were in.” She falls silent, looking at him with some sort of understanding.
He looks away and pulls his scarf over his face. “You, you can’t just go and say that, I don’t— I don’t deserve it, I—”
“None of us deserve this, Sou.” He looks back at her, unbelieving the ease with which she says this. She continues to baffle him. “We all deserve normal, uneventful lives.” She pauses, considering. “Or do you want me to call you Shin, now?”
Sou (Shin?) is silent for a moment, before he laughs quietly. He is reminded, once again, that all of the walls he so carefully constructed around himself have been shattered today. “I think Shin, probably. Since I’ve gone and shown my hand.”
Sara nods in acquiescence, before she motions for him to follow her back to the others.
“And Shin?” she asks, pausing at the doorway. He looks up, eyebrows raised. “Thank you,” she grins, “For being our ally.” She turns and walks out of the gap in the wall.
He hides his face and follows her without a word. Again, he has the thought that her trust is just too warm.
— * —
That night, still not wanting to believe that this peace is real, still half-believing that as soon as anyone goes out of sight for even a moment they’ll disappear, Sara gets everyone to drag their mattresses into the common area. Gin suggests they make a blanket fort, and silly as it is, everyone knows that this interlude will not last.
Soon, they will be forced into more horrid choices. Soon, Sara might not get so lucky. Soon, Shin might not be able to think of anything. This might be one of the last nights in a long, long time, maybe ever, that they will all be able to rest together like this.
So they do the silly, childish thing and make a blanket fort. They collapse inside of it, pure exhaustion finally hitting all of them like a train. In the morning, there will be some new hell awaiting them. In the morning, this trust they have in each other will be tested, and tested, and tested. In the morning, once again, they will have to fight to survive, together. But for now, for one of the last nights for a very long time, they sleep, deeply and dreamlessly, holding each other, feeling the warmth of their bodies that means we’re alive, we’re alive, we’re alive.
There will be hell to pay for anyone who tries to break them apart again.