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Ricky had been feeling this way for quite some time. He’d never been more sure of what he got and he had never been more certain of putting a label on what he was feeling. He was supposed to have experienced this before. But, this was different. Everything seemed brand new with her. Once, he was scared of change. After meeting her, he was not as afraid as he used to be. Change brought her to him. He was going to tell her. He was not going to run away anymore. He did not know if she felt the same. But, he was saying it anyway because it was true. His feelings were too beautiful not to be reciprocated. If a god existed, it would be extremely cruel of him to let such feelings remain one-sided. However, he wouldn't pressure her to say it back if she didn't feel it. He knew what that was like and he would never subject her to that pain. Yet, she had to be aware that he was all in.
He had been deeply wounded by what had happened during Halloween since he felt this way. It had been so heart-wrenching to conceive the idea of not being good enough for her to let her mother know about them. It was so hurtful to think that she saw him as the failure most people in his life had thought he was. He still couldn't understand why she denied their relationship that night, especially after admitting it to their friends. But how was he going to know if they did not talk about it?
But if he expected honesty from her, he needed to be completely honest himself. He had decided to finally come clean about the chocolates. That's why he opted to buy ones that bore a striking resemblance to the ones he had left at the Casswell’s front door last Valentine's Day. What was the worst possible outcome? Could she get so mad and end their relationship over it? No, Ricky, let’s not go there.
As the teenage boy tried to remind himself of the positive things that he had come to realize thanks to E.J., he stepped out of the car and began walking toward his girlfriend's house. Everything would be alright; they were going to work things out. He was going to finally tell her. Despite being nervous, he smiled at the thought of letting her finally know how he felt. Nonetheless, his heart sank when he caught a glimpse of his girlfriend’s dining room.
There he was. The guy who was everything he was insecure about. He seemed to fit perfectly beside his girlfriend, as though he were already part of her little family. Feeling diminished, he turned away and pulled out his phone as he started to walk off. This was not the plan. He was supposed to amend everything. How could he? How could he get in the way of Gina getting everything she deserved? It was too unjust to potentially entangle her in a net of uncertainty that implied being by his side by saying those three enticing words. It was not fair.
“E.J., hey, it’s me. I just…just wanted to say I came to say the thing, but I think I’m too late. Call me,…please.”
Being late might be an understatement. He had been a fool all this time, failing to recognize his feelings for her even when they were glaringly obvious. He didn't deserve her, and it was only a matter of time before she realized it too. On the other hand, the superstar hadn't taken long to recognize his girlfriend's value, and his timing couldn't be better. Of course, it was fucking Mack. What was he-
“Ricky, wait.”
As he turned around, he saw his world standing just a few feet away, his heart pounding with the hope that it was not indeed too late.
“I told my mom about us.”
He felt his soul returning to his body and it no longer felt so hard to breathe. He felt the meaning coming back to his existence as she approached him running under the pouring rain. She looked as beautiful as the day he had left her. Her eyes had a gleam of hope that was missing the day he kissed her goodbye at school after an awkward and tense conversation after not seeing each other over the Halloween weekend.
It wasn’t until he had her in his arms that he could finally let out a sigh of relief. Her lips met his and the world was good again. As they pulled away briefly, she tilted her head and then seized his lower lip between hers pulling him into a demanding kiss.
She momentarily pulled away, her eyes still closed, and confessed “I missed you.” He was in a complete overdrive flood of emotions that rendered him speechless. Instead, he leaned in to capture her pillowy lips once more.
Time seemed to stand still as they separated. She remained holding onto his neck, their foreheads touching as she smiled brightly. But his eyes opened momentarily, admiring her in secrecy as his nose brushed against hers while she laughed at their drenched state.
He had missed her adorable giggles to death. Her laughter filled the air after they shook off the rain. He drew her into another kiss and she brought him as humanly possible to her by caging his neck in her arms. Nothing seemed to be enough. She had missed so much his touch, his smell, his breath. All of him.
He lifted her gently, twirling her around in a carefree spin. As she landed after two turns, she opened her eyes and cupped his face in her hands.
“Your mom is probably watching us.”
She shook her head while still holding his face, “I don’t care.” She pecked his lips while he smiled.
“I’m sorry I vanished.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell my mom sooner, I just-“
“It’s okay, I actually came to tell you something.” He said softly. Now he was really looking at her. His gaze so penetrating that she felt a blush rise to her cheeks as raindrops trailed down. He chuckled nervously, glancing down. Her eyes followed his, then shifted to his left side, where she noticed something the teenage boy had apparently forgotten in the midst of the moment. Her eyes widened and she looked confused. What was she looking at?
“Oh”
“Are those…chocolates?” She released her grip from around his neck and picked up the heart-shaped box, her expression rendered speechless as she examined it.
“How do you-“ She continued.
He took a deep breath and began, “On Valentine’s Day, I knew you were alone. I knew you…needed something. Or deserved something.” He paused for a second, “So, I called your mom. I asked her to send you them.”
Her eyes remained unreadable to him, and he felt a pang of fear that he had again fucked everything up but he was here. There was no running away. He shook his head, “I didn’t want to confuse you. And I was going through such a weird time with…” Probably mentioning the name of the girl who had caused so much pain to Gina was not the best idea while making his confession. So, he stopped himself before letting it slip, “I’ve been meaning to tell you this since the end of camp, but I didn’t want to take away that memory of your mom.” He sighed, “But at the same time, I felt bad because there were times I wished I had signed the card...”
At her lack of response, he continued, “I just want to be completely honest with you now. If you want to slap me, I completely understan-“
Gina wrapped her hand around his neck, still clutching the box of chocolates with the other, and drew his lips to hers in a tender kiss.
“I’m going to kill you, Bowen” She pulled back slightly but maintained contact with him. She sighed.
“No, you won’t. You like me very much to do that.” he responded, his tone warm and teasing.
She chuckled softly, shaking her head gently. In her heart, she knew that 'like' didn’t quite capture the depth of her feelings for him. The symphony of joyous beats within her chest at their long-awaited reunion spoke of a far more profound feeling. Patience whispered to her soul, reassuring her that perhaps, with time, he would come to feel the same. And so, she decided that her confession could wait, content to savor the tender moments they shared in the present.
He tenderly cupped her face in his hands, caressing her cheek, and she slightly shivered under his touch.
“I think you should probably head back inside, Gi. I don’t want you to catch a cold. You still have shooting tomorrow.” he expressed, his tone laced with concern as he rubbed her arms, trying to warm her up.
There was still so much to discuss and clarify; but if they stayed there longer, they would probably wake up burning up.
She shook her head and held his hand.
“You are coming with me.”
Hand in hand, the pair of youthful sweethearts step inside, their laughter mingling with the pitter-patter of raindrops cascading from their drenched clothes in Gina’s living room. Ricky's heart sank at the sight of his least favorite person in the world perched on his girlfriend's couch, engrossed in his phone. The entrance didn't escape the notice of the sitcom star, who looked up from his device almost instantly, curiosity flickering in his gaze as the couple made their sudden appearance.
"Wow guy." Mack exclaimed with a grin aimed at Ricky.
Suppressing the urge to roll his eyes, Ricky responded, "Mark."
Gina widened her eyes and slightly pinched the hand clasped in hers. Ricky couldn't help but stifle a playful whine as he turned to shoot his girlfriend a teasing look.
“It’s actually Mack.” the young actor corrected with a hint of amusement in his voice, masking any hint of discomfort.
"Right, my bad." said the curly-haired boy nonchalantly.
"Anyways." Gina interjected, her gaze fixed on her boyfriend, "I'm going to grab us some towels. Be right back."
"Gi, are you going to leave me alone with the has-been sitcom actor?" Ricky teased, loud enough for only her to hear.
"Ricky!" She silently scolded, a hint of amusement in her voice. "Just kidding." Ricky added, letting out a mischievous giggle.
She kissed his cheek briefly before flashing him a playful smile. "Behave." she whispered with a mischievous twinkle in her eye.
As Gina was about to storm off, the figure of her mom unexpectedly emerged from the washing room, carrying two towels.
Gina froze for a moment, her heart racing with nervousness at her mother's sudden appearance. "Mom." she said, her voice tinged with unease.
"Figured you might need these." her mother said, oblivious to Gina's discomfort, as she handed her daughter the towels.
"Thanks, Mom." Gina managed to say, though her words came out a bit strained, as she quickly took the towels and tried to hide her unease with a forced smile.
Gina handed one to Ricky, who took it with gratitude. "Thanks, Ms. Potter, and sorry for the mess." Ricky apologized, a sheepish smile gracing his lips as he acknowledged their wet entrance.
Before Terri could reply to Ricky's apology, a honk was heard from outside.
"That's me." said Mack, rising from the couch. "I'll get going."
"Won't you stay for dessert?" asked Terri in a sweet tone, her eyes lingering on Mack with warmth.
"As much as I'd love to, we have a tedious shooting day tomorrow and I have to get some rest. But any other time, I'll be honored." Mack replied politely, his expression regretful as he bid farewell to Gina's mother.
Terri's smile faltered momentarily as she glanced at Ricky, a subtle tension evident in her demeanor before she nodded politely at Mack's departure.
As Mack left, the atmosphere in the room turned strained, with an undercurrent of tension palpable between Terri and Ricky. Terri, a formidable presence, stood tall with her arms folded across her chest, her piercing gaze fixed on Ricky.
Just as Terri opened her mouth to say something, Ricky spoke up at the same time. Their voices overlapped in an awkward collision of words.
"Um, Gina, why don't you go get changed?" Terri finally managed to say, her tone laced with thinly veiled disdain.
"Yeah, I should probably take off this wet hoodie too." Ricky chimed in hastily, his cheeks flushing slightly as he realized the timing of his words under Terri's intense stare.
“I’ll set Ricky off and be right back.” Gina said firmly, her gaze unwavering as she looked at her mother. Taking her boyfriend's hand, she led him towards the door.
She gently closed the front door behind her, still holding his hand, and pulled him close, enveloping him in her arms. Whispering into his ear, she said, “Meet me in my room in 2 hours.”
Planting a kiss on his cheek, she released his face. He nodded, a smile threatening to break through as his gaze lingered on hers before she retreated inside.
“Bye, Ricky.” she called softly over her shoulder, her voice trailing off as she disappeared into the house.
The words he longed to say lingered on the tip of his tongue as he watched her go, a pang of longing shooting through him. He deserved an award for suppressing the urge to take her again in his arms, to kiss her until she was breathless, especially after hearing his name uttered so sweetly by her pillowy lips.
With a deep breath, he turned away, a mix of anticipation and longing swirling within him as he headed off, already counting down the minutes until their reunion. Each step he took felt heavier than the last, the weight of his unspoken emotions pressing down on him with each passing moment.
———
Gina knew she had to wake up at 6 am in just a few hours, but her heart refused to let her sleep until she saw him again. She had not been sleeping well while he was gone anyway. One more restless night was no harm. It was nearing midnight, and she found herself scrolling through her phone, desperately trying to divert her attention from constantly glancing at the window every five minutes. Perched on the small couch near her stairs, she knew it was too risky to sit in her bed; the temptation to take a nap was too strong, and she feared it might lead her to doze off until morning. It had been a long day, and she anticipated that the following one would be just as exhausting. Lost in her thoughts and worries, she failed to notice her boyfriend slipping into her room until the sound of him tripping caught her attention.
“Ouch”
She stood up and made her way towards him. The faint moonlight streaming through the open window illuminated her glowing face in the darkness as she approached to embrace him.
"Hey, you" she whispered, her head buried in his neck.
He kissed her cheek and asked, "Are you sure this is okay?" She looked at him, her expression betraying confusion as if she had no clue what he was referring to.
“I mean…your mom now does know about us. I don't think I should be here this late in your room, Porter.” He said playfully.
As they sat at her bed, she rolled her eyes “Oh, please, Bowen. As if you had not been here this late before” He raised his brow “Do I have to remind you the time we rehearsed ‘Can I Have This Dance?’ until 3 am?”
“Your mom wasn’t home though” He inquired teasing her, “You indeed are a pretty bad girl, Gina”
“Well, it’s your fault.” she said, her tone teasing yet tinged with sincerity as she looked at him intensely. “You make me do wild stuff.”
And she knew how true this affirmation was. From auditioning for the school musical after having just met him to embroidering that she loved him in the hat she gave him on Thanksgiving. She had been doing crazy things for this boy literally since the day she met him.
“Is that so?” he responded, his gaze no longer focused on her eyes but on her lips. He leaned in closer, his breath mingling with hers as he asked the rhetorical question.
She simply nodded, feeling the pull of his lips drawing her in. Unable to resist any longer, her hands instinctively found their way to his neck, pulling him in as their lips met in a fervent kiss. It had only been a day since she last saw him, but the emotional distance they had endured made it feel like an eternity. Despite their physical closeness, there was a lingering sense of longing that no amount of kisses seemed to ease. It was as if they were trying to bridge the gap that had formed between them, seeking solace and reassurance in each other's embrace.
“Don't ever disappear again like that, Ricky. I was crazy worried” she murmured against his lips, her voice a soft plea filled with genuine concern as she looked at him lovingly.
He could feel the seriousness in her tone, the depth of her worry reflected in her eyes. Guilt washed over him as he realized the distress he had caused her. She deserved everything in the world. His heart pounded, the weight of her words amplifying the significance of three old words that felt brand new with her, seemingly blinding all his senses with their intensity.
He held her waist, pulling her into a tight hug, and nuzzled his head into the crook of her neck. “I’m so sorry, sweetie. For taking off, for the chocolates, for everything.”
Feeling his heart pressed against her chest, she could swear to god she could feel it speaking to her. An affirmation that felt so natural to her, one she had long come to accept. But was it really too early to say it?
Lost in the swirl of emotions, she hesitated to voice the thoughts racing through her mind. The possibility of expressing what lay heavy on her heart hung tantalizingly close, yet just out of reach. And in that moment, she found herself lost in contemplation, forgetting for a moment that she had yet to respond to the boy she held in her arms.
As she remained silent, Ricky lifted his head, his eyes searching hers with a gentle curiosity. “Gi, why did you ask me to come back?” he inquired softly, his tone laced with a hint of uncertainty. “I mean, not that I don't like sneaking into your room. I was just wondering…”
Her heart skipped a beat at his question, a small smile tugging at the corners of her lips despite the weight of her thoughts. Memories of their late-night rendezvous flooded her mind—the precious moments stolen when her mother wasn't home when they could simply be together without the world intruding. They had so much to talk about. She had so much to ask him, but she was finishing shooting soon. They were going to have all the time in the world to clarify anything. She wasn't going anywhere. Was it too foolish to want to enjoy the boy she had missed so deeply after thinking she had lost him once more?
With a soft sigh, she leaned in closer, her lips brushing against his ear as she whispered, “I just needed to feel you close, Ricky.” She crushed her lips into his, letting them convey all the unspoken words her heart longs to express. As she gently tugged at his curls, he emitted a slight groan, and a rush of warmth flooded through her, igniting a familiar fire between them.
He tightened his grip on her waist, pulling her closer, their bodies melding seamlessly as they deepened the kiss. She hummed softly against his lips as she settled into his lap. They pulled away momentarily, his gaze darkening and intensifying as he lowered his hands to her hips, tracing the curves of her body with a gentle touch.
In a sweet movement, he gently flipped her onto her mattress. As her head met the soft bedding, she couldn't help but giggle softly, her laughter dancing in the air like a melody. With adoration shining in her eyes, she reached out to caress his cheek, her touch tender and affectionate. She looked at him expectantly, a myriad of emotions swirling beneath the surface, trying to contain the rush of words threatening to spill from her lips as she gazed at her beloved boy.
Ricky guided her hand to where his racing heart thudded beneath the fabric of his pajamas. Pupils dilatated and almost watery eyes whilst gazing at the owner of his heart. Maybe she could tell, she had to-
“Your heart’s racing,” Gina remarked, her gaze shifting from his hand to meet his eyes with a mixture of amusement and understanding. “Don't tell me you're scared, Bowen.” She teased playfully, her words a gentle reassurance as she leaned in to press a tender kiss against his cheek.
‘Scared’ didn't even begin to cover it. He was petrified. He was going to tell her. He let out a nervous laugh, averting his gaze as he gathered the courage to speak. “I…” But as he looked up, his gaze fell upon the cardboard figure of her childhood crush, a pang of doubt and insecurity creeping into his mind. Could he ever come close to being that guy? Was it fair to utter those words when he had nothing to offer but his mere heart?
“Ricky?” Her voice broke through his thoughts, pulling him back to the present moment.
“I…I'd better be going, baby, you have to rest,” he stammered, planting a light kiss on her head as he sat up in her bed, unable to meet her eyes.
Gina followed him, her hand reaching out to hold his. “Could you stay the night?” she asked softly, her arms wrapping around him from behind as she rested her head on his shoulder.
He couldn't resist her, not when she held him with such tenderness and vulnerability. With a heavy sigh, he turned to face her, meeting her gaze with a mixture of hesitation and longing.
"I... I can't say no to you, Gi," he confessed, his voice barely above a whisper as he brushed a stray strand of hair from her face.
A soft smile tugged at the corners of Gina's lips as she squeezed his hand gently. She chuckled triumphantly, her laughter filling the room with warmth, though she quickly covered her mouth, mindful of her sleeping mother. Ricky joined in her laughter, feeling a sense of ease wash over him.
As she made space for him in her bed and got under the covers, he couldn't help but tease, "Just so you know, I’m blaming you in case your mother finds us up here."
Feigning indignation, Gina playfully opened her mouth to protest before pretending to shove him away from her bed. Their laughter mingled in the air, a symphony of joy and affection as they settled into the comfort of each other's company, ready to embrace the serenity of the night together.
Gina looked adoringly at the boy closing his eyes next to her. His arms held her tightly, as if afraid she might slip away at any moment. With a soft yawn, she allowed herself to drift off, her head resting gently atop his heart.
Ricky couldn't help but admire her as she succumbed to sleep. He pressed a final kiss to her head, savoring the quiet intimacy of her room. And as he felt her breathing steady and her body relax into slumber, he leaned in close, his voice barely a whisper as he uttered those three little words that had been on the tip of his tongue all night long.