Work Text:
“I have something for you,” Kell said, and opened her hand to place a black ring on her palm.
Lila’s heart thudded and she took a step back.
It was like that time, years ago, when someone had locked her in a wooden box on a ship, hoping she would perish. For a mere minute, she thought she wouldn’t make it, but the pounding in her chest only pushed her to beat the odds.
She wasn’t sure what odds she needed to beat in that small cabin. If what she was experiencing was fear or pure excitement. Or both.
“I don’t want it,” she said without thinking.
“You don’t even know what it is.”
“I see what it is,” she replied sourly, putting distance between them. “And I don’t want it.”
Kell sighed. “It’s not what you think it is. This is a binding ring, and it is enchanted. I have one too. They are linked.”
Was that how they called them in his world?
He showed her his, but Lila just frowned and crossed her arms on her chest. “I don’t need it.”
“You don’t even know what it can do,” he said. “And you may need it. If you are in trouble, you can use this to call me. You’ll just have to say as vera tan , and I will come to you.”
As vera tan. I need you.
“Like I said, I don’t need it,” she shrugged. “I can get myself out of trouble.”
“I’m sure of that,” he said placidly. “But the future is unknown, and this may come in handy. The queen made them for us. They work in a similar way to the ring I share with my brother.”
“No.”
“You’re being too proud, Lila. You can’t even do this for me.”
“Do not be selfish,” she accused. “You always want things to go your way. You may be a prince, but the world doesn’t revolve around you.”
“And it never did,” he grumbled. “You’re afraid, and this is just an excuse.”
She scowled. “The fuck I am.”
“Come on,” he raised an eyebrow. “Asking for help is not a weakness, Lila. But you’re too proud to accept it,” he spat. “You refuse my help too.”
She heard the hurt in his voice, but she would stand her ground.
“I am perfectly capable of saving myself,” she raised her voice. “Why would I need that ?”
She knew it sounded more like: why would I need you?
Kell passed a hand through his hair. “To call on me if you need help! Why are you stubborn? It's just a ring. It’s a precaution. A way for us to be connected in case of need. And I get what it means in your world, but –”
It wasn’t.
“I don't fucking need it!”
“You don’t know that!” He protested. “What is your problem? The ring reminds you of your London? I hate to break it to you, Lila, but it isn’t that deep. It doesn't mean anything. It’s just a ring.”
She shook her head, and clenched her hand around the stupid metal band. Ouch . It burned.
No, the whole cabin was on fire, and she was running out of air.
She needed to get out of that box before she would collapse.
She stormed out of the door and got herself out of trouble without looking back.
Lila groaned and clenched her fists at her sides, feeling the metal of the ring against her palm.
Kell slammed the door after she left, and she knew he was angry. His problem , she thought. He shouldn’t shove things in my hand and expect me to do as he pleases .
The sky hung somber above her, and held the promise of rain. She had learned how to read the signs of incoming storms after years out to sea.
The tenuous bruises of blue on the horizon would be washed away like footprints on the sand after the tide hit the shore. Blink, and you would wonder if you ever left a mark in the first place or it was just an illusion.
Thunder rumbled in the distance. She was so used to keeping her composure that her shoulders barely shook.
She sighed.
No, she would not return below deck. Not yet. She needed to cool off. She needed air. It was stifling down there. She felt like suffocating, and she was sure she would have said worse things if she hadn’t left.
I’m done. Leave me alone before I’m forced to be honest with you about the ring and bare my soul.
Sometimes she disliked that she couldn’t put much distance between her and her feelings, but the space on the ship was limited. She couldn’t run, she could just hide in plain sight. She needed to make do with what she had, as she always did.
Another thunder. She shrieked, and dug her nails into her palms. The ring pressed hard on her skin, and she was sure she had drawn blood.
She was stronger than this. After all, it was just a little object. How scary could it be?
She knew how to deal with knives, she knew how to use her body and her mouth to fight.
That token didn’t have sharp edges like a knife, even though it was made of the same material as a weapon. It was just a metal band. Rhy and Alucard used rings as accessories. They were mindless to them, fashion items. Little objects without a purpose if not for showing off.
She opened her hand and observed it.
It was black, with a little ship etched on one side. It was ordinary, insignificant, yet thoughtful. If she didn’t know the queen had made it, she would have thought it was Kell’s idea. He was sappy like that.
Looking at it now that she was alone, she knew it was harmless. But she was indeed stubborn like he had said, even though she would never admit it to his face.
She shoved the object into the pocket of her trousers and bit her lip. Out of sight, out of mind?
The sky roared again and it started to rain. The waves hit the prow of the ship angrily, spraying the surface of the ship with water. She didn’t think about going back to her quarters, and retreated under a shelter on the deck.
It wasn’t like she didn’t appreciate him thinking about her. The future was unknown, but she was pretty confident that she could handle herself well. She knew that there would be no need for the fucking band ever. She knew that she wouldn't need to ask for Kell's help.
However, she had to admit to herself that one of the reasons she refused it was Kell himself.
It wasn’t just a matter of meaning. The ring would feel like a manacle around her finger that invisibly bonded her to him, which she wasn’t ready to put on display.
Never. Yet. Maybe someday.
She worried about Kell and his broken magic. She worried too much that it wrecked her sleep.
She was overjoyed when he finally decided to learn how to improve his fighting skills. It meant that he was willing to find an alternative while they tried to find a way for him to be whole again. Because they would find it, she would make sure of that.
She believed in Kell, even though he sometimes thought otherwise. She trusted that he was an idiot as well, and that he would use his magic as if nothing had changed and he would hurt himself.
Seeing him hurt angered her. So much so that she wanted to shake his face and yell at him that he needed to get a grip, and that things weren’t okay but they would be, but that would have given her away. He would know how she was silently desperate to help his case, how she desired that his magic would be fixed and he would be happy again.
He was broken, and she wasn’t sure a binding ring would help. She wasn’t sure she could help either.
She needed to be extra careful. Extra conscious. Extra attentive. She needed to be extra in every possible way so that she would not hurt herself. She rarely did, but even she knew that it was a possibility. They were under the sky, after all – thunder .
Sometimes thunder rumbled in the sky like the beat of a heart, like a crescendo of little explosions until – Lila closed her eyes once it struck and flashed the dark sky white. It felt like the storm was inside of her, with her heart beating wildly against her ribs. She was aware of her own idiocy at that moment, but she needed another five minutes. Or thirty. Or maybe she could sleep here.
She lowered herself to the floor, and covered her ears – “Dammit thunder,” she hissed.
The ring fell out of her pocket, and rolled further from her onto the deck. She reached for it like a feline reaching for a prey. The band didn’t even make it to the prow of the ship that she caught it.
She slid the metal on her finger and looked at her hand. “It’s just a ring,” she muttered to herself. “Just a ring I don’t need.”
She shook her head and quickly took the ring off. Another thunder lighted the sky, and she wondered if it was in sign of approval or it was laughing at her for being so stubborn.
She would think about it tomorrow.
The rain turned into a storm and her measly shelter on the deck turned like the ring. Useless. Scary like thunder. Soaked through, she walked down the darkened corridor to her cabin.
Her heartbeat quickened as she opened the door. The lamp on the desk had long stopped working. She wasn’t ready to face Kell, but he had made things easier for her by vacating the premises.
She made a bitter laugh as thunder rumbled in the distance, providing the missing light in the room for a mere second.
She settled on the bed in a curling position, her teeth clattering, and drowned her trembling body under a blanket. She didn’t want to face Kell, but she missed his warm body next to hers on a cold and stormy night like that. She hoped he missed her too.
The roaring storm wouldn’t seem to cease anytime soon, so she spent the rest of her night wide awake.
At last, the following morning the weather improved.
Being the captain had its perks. No one would come to knock on her door unless it was important. They knew not to disturb her. There was only one person who was allowed to bother her but he hadn’t shown his face yet that morning.
She changed into something that didn’t smell like saltwater and rain. She fixed her unruly hair and sprayed cold water on her face before she finally decided to brave to the galley and eat something solid.
Her eyes widened when she saw Kell sitting by the table. He looked up and their eyes met. Lila grabbed an apple and stood by the door.
He spoke first.
“Terrific storm last night,” he said casually.
She raised her eyebrows. “It was loud,” she replied. “But it couldn’t be helped.”
“No, I guess not,” he nodded. “Did the ship suffer any damage?”
“The ship? It managed just fine.”
Kell frowned, and put his hands on the table. “Did it? I’m glad.”
At that, Lila sneezed. Damn. He glanced at her but said nothing, and she finished her apple. Had he waited for her? There wasn’t anything in front of him to eat.
“I won’t wear that ring,” she said after a long silence.
“You made yourself clear last night,” he answered. “I don’t agree but I understand.”
“Do you?”
“You are free, Lila. I don’t want a binding ring to make you uncomfortable.”
She bit her lip. “I don’t want to wear it.” But I need you.
“Okay,” he said, and managed a smile. “But I’ll keep wearing mine.”
She frowned. “Isn’t it useless?”
“I can live with that,” he said and the conversation ended there.
Lila thought they were okay, and the day was uneventful. That night, he slept in her cabin again. Her eyes couldn’t help but look at his ring, and she made a decision about hers.
She would carry it with her, but she won’t wear it where it was supposed to be. The ship ring would never grace her finger. It would never make her skin turn darker because of its pressure. She would never be able to see it throughout the day while she used her hands.
The only way for her to carry the ring was to hide it in plain sight.
She got off the bed while he slept soundly, and retrieved a black leather cord from a drawer in her desk to secure the ring around her neck.
The ring wouldn’t be on her finger, but she would still have it on her in case of trouble – even though she doubted she would ever need it – and it would be closer to her heart.
She clenched her hand around the ring and then hid it in her shirt, and felt better.
Let’s hope you won’t need to be rescued, Delilah Bard.