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A storm was brewing, and Alisti Kamchatka felt charged like a thundercloud.
It invaded her thoughts with a strange sense of dread, making it hard to concentrate as she read in one of the Temple courtyards. That, and the constant shrieking of a gaggle of very small and energetic younglings, who were engaged in a game of tag that was apparently impossibly hilarious. She sighed. At least someone seemed unaffected. All the older Jedi were clearly feeling the same growing disturbance, but if they chose to discuss it, it was not spoken of with padawans. That was the plight of teenagers: too old to be oblivious, too young to be informed. She would have to ask her master. He was a tactful but direct man and didn’t believe in denying truth to those who asked for it.
A pair of younglings darted by, shrieking with laughter as one of them poked the other with a long reed grass he must have pulled from one of the fountains. Alisti tugged on the wisp of cobalt hair tickling her nose, huffed resignedly, and powered off her datapad. It was no use. Even if the little initiates stopped bothering her, she simply could not concentrate.
“You know, my young padawan, I believe those things work better when they’re turned on.”
Alisti started and turned around to see the teasing brown eyes of Khan Jahan Lodi, her master. “But what do I know? Technology was never my strong suit. I do hope I’m not interrupting things.”
“Not at all. I was just about to give up.”
He chuckled a little. “Chandrilan mathematical theory can’t be that dry, can it?”
“It can, and it is. But it’s more than that. I just can’t concentrate today.”
The wry spark faded from Master Lodi’s eyes. “Come. I must report to the hangar. We have much to discuss on the way.”
They padded down the sunlit corridors, side by side, Alisti’s white robes swinging at her knees and her master’s long brown cloak rustling across the carpeted floor. It could have been a normal afternoon and a normal stroll to the Archives or the training rooms, were it not for their pace. Master Lodi moved with a purpose now, his long strides forcing Alisti, who was much shorter, to keep pace.
“I wish we both could have been forewarned, but Master Windu has requested that all available Jedi make leave for Geonosis immediately. Tensions are rising rapidly there, and two of our own may be caught in the middle of it. I must go with the other masters and do what I can to help diffuse the conflict.”
“And me too, right?”
He paused. “Not this time, Alisti.”
“Why not? You’re always saying that I need more experience outside the Temple. And you said you need every available Jedi. I’m seventeen! I’m ready for this!” They had arrived by now at the hangar to find a crowd of Jedi already boarding one of the Temple’s many shuttles. Alisti spotted a pair of Mirialans in matching black robes. “Please let me come, Master,” she prodded. “Master Unduli is taking her padawan, and she’s even younger than me.”
“True, though I wish she wouldn’t. But it is not my choice to decide how Luminara trains her apprentice, it is my choice to decide what is best for you. Know that the decision has nothing to do with your competence. I have no doubt you are ready, but this is not your battle, Alisti.”
“Is that what you think this will be then, a battle?”
He fixed his mouth in a grim line. “I pray not. But it stands to reason that the force is shifting. Surely you can sense it.”
She nodded and bit her cheek, in no way comforted. Master Lodi sensed her unease. “I know this disturbance has been weighing heavily on you, young one. You are just now gaining a higher level of awareness in the force, attuning yourself to the movements of the galaxy at large. It shows maturity. But I also don’t want you troubling yourself over things that have yet to happen. The worst we can do as Jedi is let fear control our actions. Do you understand this?”
“Yes, Master.”
He reached up and brushed a strand of dark blue hair off of her cheek with a tender smile that rejuvenated the amber spark in his dark eyes. “I’ll be back very soon, Alisti. You will be alright without me.”
“Yes, Master. May the force be with you.”
He dipped his tall head in a bow and boarded the shuttle in a swirl of incensed robes.
Alisti was back in the courtyard early the next morning, attempting to wrap her brain around calculus again, when it happened.
The storm broke.
Like a raincloud bursting open, a cold disturbance in the force swept through the Temple, drenching everything a shower of shadows.
She reached out for her master’s presence and felt it blip, but that was all. Distance strained even the strongest force bonds, and Geonosis being all the way in the Outer Rim, it was no surprise that Master Lodi’s presence was clouded. But still, something had happened to him, something connected to the deep tremor she had sensed. He could be in need, injured, and she couldn’t reach him.
It was not until she gave up on her mathematics studies and joined some other padawans on the way to the refectory that she learned exactly what the disturbance had been. The Confederacy of Independent Systems had declared its independence from the Galactic Republic and launched an attack against the Jedi Knights on Geonosis. The galaxy was officially at war.
Master. Master. Where are you?
She could not sense him.
The shadows continued to hover over the Temple. Now even many of the younglings were immune to its effects. Needing a distraction, Alisti decided to visit her younger sister in the creche, only to find Vela uncharacteristically distraught. “Something very bad happened, ‘Listi,” she sniffled. “I feel so cold.”
“Me too, Ve. Me too.”
She was about to say more, maybe suggest a game to keep both of their minds occupied, when the door slid open. “Padawan Kamchatka? The masters who went to Geonosis are returning.”
Alisti fairly flew to the Temple hangar. Every swish of her robes whispered, rush, rush, rush. She had to get there, had to see him.
The hangar was crowded, not only with the returning Jedi and their shuttle, but strange ships outfitted with cannons and men in white armor that hid their faces. Some of the Jedi were injured. The sight of Master Kenobi leaning heavily on another Jedi’s shoulder and limping sent a jolt of fear through her.
Then she saw Master Ti and Master Windu hovering over a long metal capsule, and her heart stopped.
She could see him so clearly through the transperisteel cover; battered but otherwise looking exactly as he had the day before. But it was not him. It was just a shell, devoid of his spirit, lifeless without the presence of Master Lodi breathing within it, which made it all the more surreal.
Where are you, Master?
She could not sense him.
The shell was like a black hole where his force signature should be, swallowing her, sucking the air from her lungs. She could not breathe. She could not move. All she saw was the corpse, the corpse, the corpse. She wanted desperately to block out the image but couldn’t look away. Please, she begged as his absence in the force overwhelmed her with a deafening silence, take it away. I can’t see him like this.
Her prayer was answered as the coffin swung violently out of her field of vision and was replaced by the floor swiftly rising up to meet her.
She opened her eyes to find a white bucket hovering above her.
“Are you alright, miss?” the bucket asked. Well, the face under the bucket, probably. It was one of the white-armored men.
Was she alright?
Her master was nothing but an empty shell lying in a box because she hadn’t been there to protect him. Nothing was alright. But the soldier seemed more concerned with her physical well-being, so she rubbed her aching head and replied, “Mmh-hmp.”
“Thank you, lieutenant, I can take her from here,” said a melodic voice behind them. Master Shaak Ti.
The man jumped to his feet eagerly and saluted. “Yes, sir.”
Alisti thought his behavior was strange, almost droid-like in the way he snapped to please and obey. It was different from any soldier she’d ever encountered. But not entirely like a droid either. Peculiar.
Master Ti extended a graceful hand to her and helped her to her feet. “Too many Jedi laid down their lives on Geonosis. I am very sorry that your master was one of them, Padawan." She regarded the coffin with a mournful nod. "He is part of the living force now, but I understand your grief nonetheless. Come, let’s get you to rest in the Halls of Healing.”
Alisti jerked her hand out of the master’s grasp with a roughness that surprised them both. “I’m fine.”
“Just to be safe.”
“I said, I can go on my own!”
As she stalked off, she heard Master Ti calling softly behind her. “Young one…”
“No!” she cut Master Ti’s gentle voice off sharply. Young one. Master Lodi was dead. She felt ancient.
I’ll be back very soon, Alisti.
Master Lodi had come back, but not the parts of him that mattered.
And I am not alright without you.