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My mam was always honest with me. For instance, I was only five when she told me about adopting a new baby, and how she wanted one really badly, but she couldn't have another one after me. I didn't really understand why at the time but I do now.
I was six and half when mam and dad came into my room, tears built up in my mothers eyes while my father held her around her waist tightly as she seemed to be shaking slightly. She told me that they had gotten a call and the social services said that mam and dad were finally getting that second child they always wanted, and that I would be getting a sibling, a little brother named Niall. A week later, when I finally met young Niall, I knew he had me wrapped around his pinky finger, with his bright blue eyes, dirty blonde hair and petite frame. I knew right then and there that he had to be an angel, that there had to be a halo hidden somewhere in that small tattered bag of his. Later on that night though, I wasn't so sure anymore. Mammy was crying over Niall, Dad reading out loud from a thick stack of papers while Mam whispered "It's not fair, he's only a baby" over and over again. I didn't really understand why at the time but I do now.
When I was seven, I went to the hospital for the first time, but it wasn't for my own sake. I was at school, when the principal called me out of my classroom over the intercom. When I finally made my way down to the office, my father was in there, an anxious look on his face, his thumbs chasing each other in rapid circles. As soon as he spotted me he leapt up, grabbed me by the arm and lead me out to his jeep. I asked over and over again what was going on, but I got the same answer each time; "Niall's hurt Lou. We're going to meet him and Mam at the hospital". When we finally got there, my mother was crying beside Niall's bed, his pale face blending in with sheets awfully well, which scared me to no end. It wasn't unusual to see my mother crying when it came to Niall, she was always crying over the blue and green splotches that adorned Niall's skin, or the fact that Niall would sometimes scream if Dad or Mam hugged him, even thought they hugged him often. It was when Dad started crying when the doctor said the Niall would be fine, that's when I got confused. I didn't really understand why at the time but I do now.
When I was nine, and Niall a tender five, he started primary school. I was so excited, my little brother was finally coming to my school! With me! Mam dropped me and Niall off at school and I quickly showed him where to go before walking back to my own classroom, slightly worried about leaving Niall alone, but hoping and praying that maybe, just maybe, Niall would be okay, and that he might just even make a friend today. It turned out that Niall was fine though, as when we got back into the car together at the end of the day, Niall couldn't stop talking about his amazingly awesome new teacher Mr. Zee, and his new best friend Harry, who just happened to be his new favourite person in the whole wide world! I was extremely jealous but I didn't really understand why at the time but I do now.
When I was fourteen and Niall ten, I got my first girlfriend. Her name was Eleanor, a pretty girl with an energetic personality to match my own. I was so excited to introduce her to my family, it WAS my first girlfriend. I knew my Mam would fuss over her for as long as she could, and Dad, well he will just shake her hand and make small talk, nothing more. The person I was most excited to see the reaction of was definitely Niall. Niall had never met any of my friends before bar Josh, and that was only because Niall had begged me to let him meet one of my friends, and Josh was the boy-next-door type. Unfortunately, as soon as I told everyone who Eleanor was, Niall stormed off to his bedroom, sadness evident on his face. I quickly apologised to El before running up the stairs after my baby brother. I could blatantly hear Niall sniffling and wiping away tears, so I decided to knock on the door. However, when I did, all I got was a whimper in return, so I decided to head in. Niall was sitting on his bed, his tattered fluffy teddy in his arms. I asked him what was wrong to which his replied "You won't love me as much anymore." I told him he was being stupid, and that I would love him, no matter how many girls I went out with and he just hugged me, snuggling into my side. I was confused as to why Niall was so afraid of me not loving him any more and I didn't really understand why at the time but I do now.
When I was seventeen and Niall thirteen, Niall had his first experience with bullying. I was sitting in my bedroom, studying for my big finals coming up when Niall burst into my room, tears streaming down his face in streaks while little sporadic sobs escaped his mouth. When I asked him what happened, he started crying even more. "The people in school are calling me a fag just because I said I have a crush on Justin Bieber! I don't understand Lou! Nobody said anything nasty to you when you said you had a crush on Taylor Swift!" Two sudden realisations hit me like a ton of bricks right then and there. First, my baby brother is gay. I had speculated this for quite some time now, but I don't think Niall himself actually realised. He was too sheltered by Mam and Dad to ever hear about any of this kind of stuff. Two, my baby brother was getting bullied in school, and this was not something I would allow to happen any longer. The next day I walked down to Niall's classroom with him and had a little talk with the main boy who was bullying Niall. Don't worry, I didn't do anything stupid, I mean I was seventeen and in all fairness he was probably only fourteen. I just had a chat with him to make sure he would never hurt Niall again. I didn't really expect it to work and I was all ready to have to go talk to the kids older brother, so I was extremely confused when Niall came running up to me after school, thanking me for getting this bully off of his back. I was surprised that the kid had listened to me and I didn't really understand why at the time but I do now.
Niall met Liam when he was 17 and was completely infatuated with him. I didn't really understand why at the time but I do now.
I'm now thirty, and Niall 26, and I understand the things I used to not know now. I understand that Niall was abused, that he could've died that day, how I was jealous because he was MY little brother, how Niall was scared of me falling in 'love' because that was the reason his mother left and I understand that the reason the boy listened to me was because his brother had heard about the incident from Josh and gave hell to his younger brother for what he did to Niall, it wasn't because of me he stopped. I also understand why Niall was just so in love with Liam. Liam makes Niall happy, and that's a really important thing, especially since they're getting married later today. All I really ever needed to know though was that Niall was my brother, and I was Niall's, and that is something that will never change.