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Barcelona, New Years Eve, 6PM - Colin
Colin was not prying. He wasn’t.
Her phone just happened to be on the other side of the room. And it just happened to be lighting up over and over as someone sent her a barrage of messages.
Colin just happened to have a little nagging voice in his head telling him that Marina was keeping secrets from him.
‘Colin, please listen to me!’ Penelope had pleaded with him, begged even.
‘Pen, my relationship is quite frankly none of your business,' he had snapped. He was annoyed at her thinking she knew best. ‘It’s between Marina and I, we love each other and you need to stay out of it.’
‘Please, I don't think she's being truthful with you. I don't want you to get hurt. If you would just listen to-'
‘Leave me be Pen. Jealousy isn’t a good look on you,'
It had been a low blow, but it had the effect he wanted. She turned and left. But not without him catching a glimpse of the hurt that crossed her face. Penelope had been weird about him dating Marina from the beginning. Even more so after he had proposed to her. Marina had said it was because she was jealous. Penelope wasn't in a relationship and wanted desperately to be, Marina had theorised once when he brought up how distant his friend was.
However, they’d left for Barcelona on Boxing Day. And for the past days Colin felt attuned to Marina in a way he hadn’t before. Was he the one who was different? Or was it her?
She didn’t really initiate touches between them, it was always him reaching out first. She would go off on walks alone. She would spend so much time on her phone, texting someone else, instead of talking to him. She never left her phone unattended.
Until now.
Curiosity got the better of him. He picked up her phone and his stomach dropped when he took in the notifications.
‘Colin?’ Marina stepped out of the bathroom, fully dressed, hair wrapped up in a towel. ‘Are you ok?’ She asked
‘Why is George Crane messaging you?’ He asked, his voice sounding hollow to his own ears.
‘What? He is?’ she asked, her eyebrows raised. A flash of annoyance shot through him at her poor attempt of surprise.
‘Don’t treat me like more of a fool than you already have.’
‘Colin, I… it’s nothing. He just can’t let go.’
‘Really?’ He asked, he couldn’t find it in him to believe it.
‘Yes, really.’
‘Can you prove it to me?’ He asked her. ‘Show me that this is just a string of him messaging you over and over and you haven’t responded.’
Her arms folded across her chest. ‘That’s an invasion of my privacy.’
‘We are engaged Marina.’
‘Yes, we are,’ she smiled softly at him. ‘And I’m so excited to marry you.’
‘I need to know that it’s nothing.’ Colin said.
‘Why? Why can’t you just believe me?’
‘Because… it’s stupid. But Pen said some-‘
‘Pen? Penelope?’ Marina interrupted.
‘Yes, Penelope.’
‘I didn’t realise you still spoke to her.’
‘We’re friends, Marina. You have always know that,’ Colin growled out. Marina had been aware from the beginning that Penelope was one of his good friends. Hell, it was because of Penelope they'd even met in the first place.
‘You realise she’s in love with you right?’
‘She’s… no. She’s not,’ he said immediately. He would know if Penelope was in love with him. Wouldn’t he? She only saw him as a pesky older brother. Nothing else.
Marina laughed, like it was the funniest thing he’d ever said. Her laughter died off when he didn’t join in and just stared at her.
‘Colin, babe, you have nothing to worry about.’
‘Don’t I?’ He asked. He looked back at the phone still in his hand and read the messages he could see on the screen. ‘Wish I could celebrate tonight with you, can’t wait to see you, I miss you, remind me when you get back to London? … should I keep going? There are more.’
She’d turned pale. ‘Colin, don’t…’
‘What is the truth Marina?’
‘Please,’ she took a step towards him and on instinct he stepped back.
‘Don’t,’ he warned. ‘God, do I even know you at all?’
‘It’s complicated.’
‘Is it? Because it seems pretty damn simple to me.’
‘Colin-‘
‘Have you slept with him?’
Her silence was answer enough for him. Colin felt suffocated. By her, by the hotel, by Barcelona itself. Everything he knew, everything he believed… gone. Who was the woman in front of him really? How could she do this to him, to them?
‘I can’t stay here,’ he said finally in response. He blindly grabbed for his suitcase and started throwing his things into it. He was probably going to leave a lot behind. It could burn for all he cared anyway.
‘Colin, babe, please,’ she placed a hand on his arm to try and stop his movement. He wrenched himself away roughly.
‘Don’t. Marina,’ he zipped the suitcase up.
‘Please Colin!’
‘No,’ he turned at her with a furious gaze. ‘I need space. I can’t be here.’
He left the hotel, suitcase in tow. He booked a cab to the airport and on the way there bought the next ticket to London he could find. It was New Year’s Eve, so it wasn’t cheap, but he was past the point of caring. He couldn’t stay for another second. He needed to be as far away from her as possible.
Everything was a lie. His relationship, his engagement wasn’t real. He couldn’t help but wonder how long it had been going on for. Had the nights she spent away from him been with George instead? What did she gain from stringing him along? He felt sick at the thought of being played that way. How had he not seen it?
How had Penelope seen it instead?
That was another matter entirely. Penelope, in love with him?
It couldn’t be.
He arrived at the airport and checked into his flight, only just making it before cut off.
The two hour flight had never felt so long. He spent it in silence, staring out the window at the black sky.
It was ten pm by the time he landed in London. Daphne was throwing a New Year’s Eve party. He didn’t feel like going to a party, but the familiar smiling faces of his family was a comfort he desired. So, he made his way there.
It was only when, an hour later, as he walked into the room, and was greeted by shocked, but happy siblings, he realised he was seeking out one face in particular. He found her across the room, watching as he was hugged and kissed. He met her eyes and she gave him a soft smile. He made his way over to her.
‘Hi,’ he said
‘I thought you weren’t due back for a few days.’
He shrugged. ‘Plans change.’
There were a million questions in her eyes. But he couldn’t bring himself to answer a single one. He couldn't even give her the apology she deserved after their fight because it would bring up questions. But if there was one thing he would always be certain about, it was that Penelope would be there for him, regardless of what kind of interaction they had last had. Just as he would be for her.
‘Let’s get something to drink,’ he said instead. He took her hand and lead them to the kitchen, away from the crowd.
He quickly found a bottle of champagne and some flutes, opening the bottle with a satisfying pop, he served them both a glass and they cheers as they took seats at the island bench. The noise of the party faded into the background quickly.
‘Is everything ok?’ Penelope asked, her bright blue eyes filled with worry. Worry for him, and it had his breath hitching in his throat a little.
‘It’s fine. How are you? How has your break been?’ He knew that she had a bit of time off between Christmas and new year and tried to redirect her focus, away from anything about him and why he was suddenly at Daphne's party.
‘I’ve read a lot. It’s been cold,’ she gave a small laugh. ‘You had the right idea, going to Barcelona.’
‘Yeah…’ it had felt like a good idea. If only he’d known how it would turn out.
‘Speaking of, aren’t you still supposed to be there?’
‘Plans changed,’ he repeated himself from before. ‘Do you have any New Year’s resolutions?’ He swapped the topic before she could push for more. He didn’t know what to say yet, he still wasn’t even too sure what had happened. All he knew was that his fiancé had lied, and cheated and he couldn’t marry her. Admitting that out loud though, it would be real. And everyone would know what a failure he was.
‘I don’t really do resolutions,’ she said. ‘But I do have a goal.’
‘What’s that?’ He asked, focusing his attention on her. He could remember loud and clear what Marina had said. Penelope was in love with him? As she spoke he suddenly couldn’t look away from her. Had her eyes always been so blue? So expressive?
‘I want to… be less of a wallflower I suppose. Put myself out there. Maybe even… get a boyfriend? I haven’t dated in so long.’
Her hair was so fiery red, especially under the dim kitchen lighting, it almost glowed on its own. Her curls tumbled down her back and he wondered if it was a soft as it looked.
What had she said? A boyfriend? Colin couldn’t imagine anyone being good enough for her.
Penelope was… charming, witty, so smart and quick, he was still often surprised by her quips. Her eyes were oceans he could swim him, her face soft, and delicate and her… his eyes slipped down. She wore a tight green dress, it hugged her body. Hourglass figure, full in all of the right places.
Others had touched her. He knew she’d dated, had boyfriends… experience. The thought of another with his hands on her evoked a pang of jealousy within him. He wondered if she was as soft as she looked.
He wanted to touch her.
‘Who do you want to date?’ He cut off whatever it was she was saying.
‘I…’ she stopped. ‘What?’
‘You said you wanted to date. Did you have anyone in mind?’
She looked away from him ‘Oh… Not particularly,’ she looked back up at him. ‘Someone kind, charming, hopefully good looking.’
Colin nodded. ‘Right,’ he didn’t want to hear any more about some hypothetical guy she wanted to date. Colin already didn’t like him. Already knew his flaws - too pushy, too eager, not respectful enough. He didn’t get her. Not the way Colin did.
‘How is your family? How was Christmas?’ He asked her as a change of topic. It seemed to be the theme of the night. Him constantly redirecting their conversation to avoid… everything really.
‘Oh, fine,’ She cast her eyes down and Colin could have kicked himself. She didn’t have a family like he did. Hers was colder. Her mother was overbearing, constantly trying to push herself and her daughters into the spotlight. Pen had spent a long time trying to be enough for her and he had to watch as she crumbled again and again over never meeting her expectations.
Colin didn’t like Portia Featherington.
He opened his mouth to ask another question, but there was a sudden shout from the other room then a
‘Ten!’
‘It’s almost midnight.’ Penelope said softly.
He nodded.
Nine… eight…
She was looking back up at him and he felt magnetised to her. Had she always been here? Was this where he was supposed to be?
Seven… six…
The voices were distant in comparison to the loud roaring in his head as he took her in. She was probably his closest friend. Definitely his most loyal, and kindest. He regretted his words of anger at her just before Christmas. She hadn’t wanted him to get hurt. That was her only intention and he had been blind to it.
Five… four…
Blue, so blue. She was watching him closely too and he was drawn to her in a way he’d never let himself be before. For the briefest moment he let himself look at her lips. Plump, rounded, stained red from lipstick that had mostly worn off. What would they taste like? He could almost imagine how it would feel to take her bottom lip in his teeth, hear her moan as she did.
Three… two…
If not on New Year’s Eve then when? This was his opportunity.
One…
He was about to close the gap and she disappeared from him. She jerked away abruptly and he was startled for a moment.
Of course.
This wasn’t the right moment. How could he have ever thought that it was?
‘We should join the rest of the party,’ she mumbled, not quite meeting his eyes.
‘Yeah, of course,’ he readily agreed and followed her out.
He would think about what had happened later. The fact that he had to call his engagement off, that he suddenly really wanted to kiss his best friend… it was enough to have him tempted to start looking at what flights out of London and to the other side of the world he could book for tomorrow morning to escape it all instead.
In just six hours, his entire life had been flipped on it's head and running from it all felt easier.
In true Colin Bridgerton style that was what he ended up doing. Three days later he was on a flight to Australia, the furthest possible place he could think of. All of his energy and focus went into his travels, matters of the heart were buried, pushed deep down and he wouldn’t be forced to confront them properly for years.