Work Text:
The door slammed shut behind Luz as she entered her dorm room. A poor soul that was passing by in the hallway during her panic got scared, screaming at her to watch it through the closed door, and she barely even had time to yell back a sorry as she fumbled with the phone in her shaky hands.
Luz Noceda was having a crisis. She felt like she needed to sit down, but there was too much energy in her body and swirling thoughts in her brain, causing her to pace around the small room. At least her roommate wasn’t around.
In an attempt to unlock her phone, she nearly dropped it, which is what finally got her to fall onto the bed and groan desperately.
When she finally did manage to look at the bright screen of her phone, she had to reread the message she sent to Willow a couple of more times. Because a dozen times she reread it on her way back to the dorm wasn’t enough. It just didn’t feel real.
Thankfully Willow’s been patient with her the entire time she spent gushing about her get-together with Amity. How the hell did she even manage to do that on her own?
Well it was pretty simple, really. The two of them had homework together, and even though Luz was so nervous she thought she was gonna curl up into a small worm, apparently her jokes were funny enough to make Amity laugh. When she made that first stupid pun to try and ease the one-sided tension she thought she was done for but no - Amity thought it was funny!
And she liked it enough that she said she wouldn’t mind meeting up again to work on more homework together.
Surely this was seriously a dream, and Luz hit her head a little too hard in the shower this morning when she was rushing to get to class. But a little (too hard) smack to her own cheek confirmed she was awake.
“Ow… okay.”
She took a deep breath, her shaky finger hovering over the icon for text messaging. Ever since they finished hanging out she lived with regret of not asking Amity for her number, and contemplated asking Willow if she’d be willing to give it to her.
But it’d be weird to explain how she got her number, right?
So instead she did the other logical thing which was opening Amity’s Instagram.
They mutually followed each other, a fact that boggled Luz’s mind to this day, and she wasn’t much of a stranger to visiting the profile.
In her defense, she did that with her friends as well. Luz enjoyed social media, and it was absolutely the best way to keep up with family and friends. And Amity was pretty active, so it was hard to avoid her posts.
And Luz didn’t miss the time she posted a picture with a very visible Azura book on her desk. It was another moment that felt like a fever dream, and Luz did a lot of zooming in. She wasn’t just imagining it because she had that strong of brainworms for the series.
It’d be nice to be able to talk to Amity about the series if she really did like it…
… how weird would it be to try and message her?
Luz shook her head and nearly dropped her phone, trying to perish the thought. They just hung out for the first time and it was over homework!
Still, when she looked at the pretty girl’s profile again, the button for sending direct messages taunted her.
Luz has always been better at expressing her thoughts over text rather than with words. But they would always end in a nervous tangent, and while some people like her friends found it endearing most were just weirded out. And around someone like Amity? Gods forbid she said something cringey, hence she did her best to speak as little as possible.
“Oh jeez, I wasn’t weird was I?!” Another wave of panic hit her as she began to overanalyze their earlier time together. Meanwhile as if possessed, her finger tapped over the direct message button and opened up an empty chat log. Swallowing, Luz stared at the screen with suddenly shaky hands.
Surely it wouldn’t be that weird to just tell her she appreciated all the hard work today, right? It’s not like they were total strangers.
“Amity’s so nice and understanding, plus she didn’t seem uncomfortable while we worked on homework… I think.”
‘No, bad brain. We’re not doing this self-doubt thing today.’ She scolded herself internally, somehow Willow’s voice making its way into her brain as well to remind her she was overthinking.
After a lot of back and forth in such a short amount of time, Luz figured she had nothing to lose. So she began to type out her small message.
“Hi Amity! I hope this isn’t too random…” typing away, Luz narrated out loud quietly to herself. It was a little bit of a habit she picked up to help her focus. “... but I just wanted to thank you for today! You helped a bunch, and I’m glad I got to work together with you.”
Her fingers stopped and she scanned over the short message. This seemed pretty normal. If she pressed send now she wouldn’t feel too bad about randomly messaging her.
But she couldn’t help stopping her train of thoughts, and there were plenty of those she wished she could tell Amity outward. After a short pause she began typing again, her tongue slightly sticking out in focus.
Luz: hi amity! i hope this isnt too random but I just wanted to thank you for today! you helped a bunch and im glad I got to work together with you :) i think i wouldve been stuck on that project a lot longer if i worked on it alone. I also appreciate you for being so patient with me, im sorry if i got distracted a lot or sidetracked, you know how it is focusing can be hard haha…. seriously i respect how hard you always work, like wow its incredible how fast and efficiently you get things done?? i just admire you alot. honestly youre really cool and really fun to talk to and its been a blast, youre also really funny like REALLY funny. i know i got distracted a lot but that's because your laugh is so pretty its distracting. and i dont mean that in a bad way youre just pretty and nice and its really cool!! and im glad we got to hang out and i hope we can do it again sometime
Her fingers froze and Luz blinked. The wall of text stared back at her, and it suddenly hit her how derailed she got.
“Oh crikey,” she breathed and sat up nervously, her hands sweaty, “ooooh my gosh that's so embarrassing, I can't send all that! I need to– AH!”
In the middle of trying to delete the unnecessarily added text, the phone slipped out of her hands. She failed as she fought to catch it, awkwardly grabbing it in a way that her entire palm pressed the screen. When she turned it back around to look at it, her heart dropped into her guts.
The bubble with her message popped up in the previously empty chat box and Luz helplessly watched the little wheel spin, sending her message.
“Oh no,” she whispered as the dread consumed her. Not only was the message with a derailed string of thoughts going to reach Amity, it clumsily cut off at 'I hope' since she only had a chance to delete a few words before the phone sprung to life and tore itself from her poor shaky hands.
And now Amity's going to see it.
Luz jumped from her bed and paced circles again in panic.
“Ohhh what do I do, what do I do?! I will never recover from this!” If she had any, she'd be biting her nails. Instead she had to settle for biting her lip as her heart raced at what felt like a not-healthy pace.
“It’s cool, it’s okay. I can always say my sister hacked into my account, right?” She stopped pacing around to reconsider the idea. Deciding it wouldn’t work the way it used to back on Neopets forums because this isn’t some stranger she asked for an art trade, she groaned and scrapped it away from her thoughts.
“Maybe she just doesn’t check her instagram!” Luz desperately tried to plead with herself, nervously laughing like Amity didn’t post a new picture of her cat just this morning. She’d know, she even commented how cute Ghost is and Amity liked her comment!
Of course she was aware she was being really silly with all of this, but who wouldn’t be if they were put in this sort of situation with their crush?
… On second thought, most people probably manage their crushes better and aren’t as awkward about it as she is. This wasn’t the right time to wallow in her past bad experiences though. She was having a present bad experience to deal with!
However, when Luz looked at the phone’s screen again, she realized she might have just been saved. Somewhere, some gods heard her despair and spared her.
Or maybe it was just how spotty the WiFi gets in her room.
Right under her message, instead of a checkmark, in red text it said ‘Failed to Send’ .
“It didn’t send,” Luz whispered barely audibly, realizing she barely breathed in the last minute as she exhaled in relief. “She isn’t going to see my stupid message! She won’t think I’m embarrassing!”
Laughing, she dropped back onto her bed, feeling like a huge weight was dropped from her shoulders. At least, kind of. Her body relaxed in relief, but somehow she didn’t feel as happy as she probably should’ve. She didn’t want Amity to see all the embarrassing ways she feels about her. She didn’t want her to know she thinks she’s cool and funny and so pretty.
“I can’t believe she won’t read all that.” Luz blurted suddenly, feeling a different sense of dread now. Now offended that her conenction failed her like this she sat up, waving her fist in new oddfound frustration. “She’s not gonna know how amazing she is! Seriusly?! She deserves to know! Sure maybe I didn’t word myself in the most ideal way but come on, I’ve definitely said worse things!”
Once again the divine heard her, because the phone next to her pinged, signaling it was connected to the WiFi once more. And sure enough, when she opened it the little checkmark confirmed one thing.
Sent.
“Wait no, I didn’t mean all that, wait! NOOO!”
Luz wailed, almost throwing her phone across the room but instead at the last moment simply threw it at her pillow instead. She joined it there, burying her head into the comforting softness and letting out a muffled scream not to scare any of her neighbors or potential people passing outside. They’ve probably heard more than enough already.
Why was she going back and forth being torn over it anyway?! This wasn’t something she should’ve wanted Amity to read. Sure she’d like to express how much she likes Amity, but through such a senseless message! If she just shut up and didn’t complain the message could’ve possibly remained unsent.
There was another ping from her phone that Luz was too afraid to check. It could be Willow, it could be Gus, or it could be Amity blocking her from ever messaging her again. No big deal at all.
Delaying the inevitable is futile effort though. So she sucked it up, deciding she might as well pull the bandage off.
With a swipe she unlocked the phone, and truly, it was Willow who messaged her asking if they’re still down for breakfast in the morning.
It gave Luz a moment to breathe as she replied, only to tab back into Instagram and see that her message has been seen.
Once again anxiety started shaking every bone in her body. She contemplated sending a follow up apologizing, telling Amity she understands if she doesn't want to talk to her again. But she didn't want to be annoying by sending even more messages. She'd rather say it to her face. If Amity decides to leave her wall of text on read, well, she probably deserved it.
Defeated, instead she opened up her messages with Willow.
Luz: i done did a stupid. please remember me fondly
While she waited for her friend to respond she couldn't help but to look at the Instagram message, frowning. Anxiety was stupid and made her chest hurt, making her overthink about how she possibly ruined any chance with Amity she might've had.
Though, she never felt like she had a chance to begin with.
Her phone pinged, pulling her out of those miserable thoughts before she could begin drowning in them.
Willow: What happened?
Luz: i wanted to thank amity for the help with homework and i may have ended up going on a tangent and complimented her lots
Willow's response didn't come immediately, giving Luz just enough space to calm down and wash off any embarrassment she started feeling again while briefly explaining what she's done. The response she got was short and not what she expected though
Willow: And?
Luz's brows furrowed. What did she mean 'and'?! This is a serious issue! Huffing, she began typing back,
Luz: i told her how much i think she's amazing and probably came off as weird, who does that on instagram??
Willow: A lot of people, probably. You’d be surprised how many people discuss this sort of stuff this way nowadays
Luz: yea maybe over texts but instagram??
Willow: Luz, my sweet worrying friend
Willow: You’re getting too much into your head. I promise it’s not as a big deal as you worry it might be
Was it really not? Luz frowned at her screen. How could she not worry about messing up something this important? But she also knew WIllow was right about one thing - she did have a tendency to jump to worse conclusions. Not her fault, she had some pretty bad experiences with rejection.
Before she could even reply, another reassuring text arrived from her best friend.
Willow: All I’m saying is, take it easy. I’ve known Amity for forever, and she’s not the type of person to react so repulsively
Willow: Trust me, you might end up really, really surprised
Her words were mildly cryptic, but not comforting regardless. How lucky she was to have Willow to ground her, and Luz was gonna make sure to make it up to her when they hung out tomorrow. She quickly typed out her thanks, then checked the messages with Amity one more time. Still left on seen , no response. In order to stop thinking about it, Luz decided to close Instagram and open up one of her mobile games. Thanks to how efficiently they finished earlier today, she didn’t have any other homework to worry about for a while.
The mobile games are addictive, and time passes by faster than Luz realized while tapping away at her tower defense game. An hour or maybe even two passed, even her roommate Skara dropped by to pick some stuff up before leaving again, when in the middle of one of the stages a little notification with Amity’s name popped up.
Luz’s eyes widened as she registered it, shrieking and shooting up from the bed so fast it made her head almost spin.Somehow she even managed to hit her elbow against the wall, but it didn’t even bother her.
The enemies in her game’s stage breached through her defenses and the big red text mocked her for failing, but Luz had no time for that. She swiped the game closed, until she could see the notification clearer, confirming she did message her back. From the preview Luz could only see she opened up her message with a ‘hey’, and for anything further she’d have to actually open it to see.
The anxiety came back in full force though, afraid of what she might read. Willow's words came back to comfort her and remind her that yeah, of course Amity wouldn't react so badly. Worst case scenario things would be awkward for a little while. So with a shaky breath and lots of emotional preparation, Luz swiped open their messages.
The message was longer than she'd expected it to be, and Luz swallowed as she felt her mouth nervously turn dry as her eyes scanned the text.
Amity: Hey! That was… really sweet, Luz. Thank you, I really appreciate it. Especially coming from you. It's been very fun hanging out with you as well, you're really funny and you really know how to brighten a room. I'd really like to hang out again, maybe without homework.
Amity: You like Azura, right? I've been thinking of going to see the new movie but I didn't really wanna go alone, and I don't think Willow's interested.
Luz's phone dropped for the nth time, luckily on the bed, and her jaw follwed suit. For a moment, she just stared unblinkingly at the screen agape like that. Not only was Amity reacting positively to her cringey message like it was the most normal thing, but she wants to hang out? They'd get to talk about Azura? She thinks Luz is funny??
Just to make sure she didn't fall asleep while playing games Luz pinched herself, the pain making her yelp out loud.
“Amity? She wants to hang out with me? Alone?"
Her hand reached out for the phone so she could hold it up to her face. She ended up rereading the message six more times, the grin on her face growing more and more as the butterflies stirred up in her stomach.
To nobody’s surprise, Willow was right. Amity reacted so positively to what most people would probably think was weird. It’s almost like she knew, but that’d be silly.
Then it hit Luz, as the stirring in her stomach almost made her sick from excitement.
“This… does this count as a date?”
Her cheeks felt warm at the mere thought. But Luz didn’t wanna jump the gun just yet, better not to push her luck any further before it backfires.
Several minutes of calming down later she messaged Amity back.
Luz: yeah! ive been meaning to ask you about azura actually, i havent met anyone else who likes it in a while. i was gonna ask willow if she wanted to come too actually but i didnt wanna bother her when i know shes not really a fan its really exciting to know someone else who actually likes it!!
After hitting send Luz wondered if she was rambling again, but honestly? Since it already worked out after that embarrassment, she might as well stop caring and worrying about it. Amity was so chill, and that was just another positive on the constantly growing list of things she liked about her.
And this time she noticed Amity was typing back immediately, giving her no spare time to recollect herself and stop her heart from thumping out of her chest.
Amity: I feel the same, if you’d like we can meet up during lunch tomorrow to talk more about when we both have time to go!
Luz dropped her phone, rolled over onto her stomach, then proceeded to scream into her pillow like a crushing middleschooler.
She was grateful to whatever gods blessed her with this luck, something in the back of her head telling her one of those gods might be Willow. Once she got it all out of her system, she picked up her phone again and responded back with the biggest grin on her face.
They’d continue to text back and forth for the rest of the evening.
Who would’ve thought all that panic was for nothing?
—
Amity: jdiasofjhasoifrjas
Amity: Ohhh my Goddddd
Amity: We’re doing it, we’ll be seeing the Azura movie together
Amity: I was soo calm about it all too
Amity: I hope you’re proud
Willow: lol
Willow: See? I knew it’ll be fine
Amity: I still can’t believe she actually messaged me first
Amity: I thought I was being too annoying focusing on work so much when we hung out
Willow:
Like I told you, you’d be pleasantly surprised