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As my friends, Nemona, Arven, Penny, and I arrived at the Blueberry Academy entrance, we marveled at the school’s futuristic design and the vast ocean surrounding us.
“OOOOOH!” Nemona squealed. “So, this is that fancy-pants battle academy I’ve heard so much about! It’s even got a battle court right at the entrance!” Unable to contain her excitement, she zoomed toward the battlefield up ahead. “Come on, Kaity! Let’s battle right now!”
“N-Now?” I stuttered, though I really shouldn’t have expected anything else.
“Tch…” Arven replied in exasperation. “Nemona, we literally just got here. Can’t you take your mind off of battles for five minutes?”
“Cwassic Nemona…” Penny remarked, before glancing around at the small number of people hanging out by the battle court. “Whewe’s Cawmine and Kiewan? We pwanned to meet them at the entwance, wight Kaity?”
“They should be here any second,” I stated confidently.
Just as I said this, Carmine and Kieran both entered the battle court from the entrance hall. “Wowzers!” Kieran cheered in a scratchy, gremlin-like voice. “It’s Kaity! And everyone!”
“Right on cue,” I commented.
“Heeey, who missed me?” Carmine greeted, waving her hands with a proud smile.
“Great to see you two again!” Arven replied.
“Yeah, it’s been a wong time,” Penny remarked.
“And an even LONGER time since we’ve battled!” Nemo na shouted. “Come on! Who wants to have a battle right here, right now?”
“Nemona, would you chill out?” Carmine exclaimed, shaking her fists. “We’ve barely even got the chance to say hi yet!”
“Wowzers…” Kieran muttered uncomfortably, tapping his fist against his hip. “And people say I was obsessed with battles…”
“Aw…” Nemona whimpered. “But I haven’t had a battle in like, six hours…”
“And I haven’t had a sandwich in six hours…” Arven added.
“And I haven’t gotten a bweak from heawing you two compwain in six houws…” Penny mumbled in annoyance.
“Ah, what a dull life we live,” I commented jokingly.
Suddenly, we all heard a “bing-bong-bong-bing” that came from the school’s bell.
“This is an announcement for the following students…” said the announcer. “BB League Champion, Kaity. Elite Four members, Crispin, Amarys, Lacey, and Drayton. Kieran of Class 1-4. Carmine of Class 3-2. Please come to the League Club Room for an urgent meeting with Miss Briar.”
Nemona let out an exhilarated gasp. “You’re going to a meeting with the BB League Elite Four?” she squealed. “Please, Kaity! You’ve gotta let us come with you!”
“Come on, Nemona!” Arven scolded. “Haven’t I told you that it’s rude to just show up uninvited?”
“And that’s a wot of peopoe fo me to meet aww at once…” Penny murmured shyly.
“Ah, I’m sure it’ll be fine!” Nemona replied nonchalantly, before immediately running off “Come on, vamos! Let’s gooooo! Pikachu and Eevee! Now available for the Nintendo Switch!”
“Wait, Nemona!” Arven called as he and Penny began chasing after Nemona.
“Well, we can’t keep Miss Briar waiting.” Carmine stated. “Come on, Kiki. You too, Kaity.”
As we all followed the gang, Kieran flopped his head downward in disappointment. “Aw, wowzers…” he mumbled. “This better not be another life-risking adventure…”
“Don’t worry,” I reassured him. “As long as I’m here, plot armor will keep you guys safe.”
“Thanks, Kaity,” Kieran replied with a grateful smile, before letting out an envious sigh. “Plot armor sounds so convenient. Guess that’s one of the many perks of being the protagonist…”
Before long, we all made it to the League Club room, which I had decorated with a monochrome design that was filled with references to Pokemon Black and White, now available for the Nintendo DS. We saw that Briar and the BB League Elite Four had already arrived, as Drayton looked at me with a friendly smile.
“YOOOOO!” Drayton screamed, as he always did. “OUR CHAMPION IS BACK! AND SHE BROUGHT FRIENDS! AWESOOOOOME! MY NAME’S DRAYTON, BUT Y’ALL CAN CALL ME THE DRAYSTER!”
Penny covered her sensitive ears while grimacing at Drayton. “You talk, wike… way too woud…” she commented.
“HAHAHA!” Drayton guffawed. “IT’S JUST WHAT I DO!”
“That’s Drayton for you,” Carmine remarked as she rolled her eyes. “Loud and annoying as always.”
“And rude,” Kieran added with a bitter scowl.
“YOU GOT THAT RIGHT, EX-CHAMP!” Drayton shouted proudly.
Kieran let out a scratchy, furious groan until it was too much for his throat to handle, causing him to cough. “Wowzers, that hurt my throat…” he commented. “It’s not easy talking like a gremlin all the time…”
“Anyway…” Lacey muttered uncomfortably. “I’m Lacey. I just adore cute Pokemon, especially Fairy-Types!”
“And I’m Crispin, the fieriest of the Elite Four,” he said calmly. “You can tell by my energetic voice.”
“My name’s Amarys,” she stated with a serious look. “I am somewhat of a robot. It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance.”
“U-Uh…” Arven muttered awkwardly. “Likewise. I’m Arven.”
“Hewwo, I’m… P-Penny…” she mumbled bashfully.
“And I’m Nemona!” she cheered without a hint of shyness. “Let’s have a battle, right now!”
“Sorry, Nemona,” Lacey replied with a saddened expression. “But… battling in a classroom is strictly against the school rules…”
“Aw, not here too…” Nemona whined.
Carmine shook her head exasperatedly, before turning her attention to the teacher. “Anyway, Miss Briar, what’s this urgent meeting about?”
“Well, you see…” Briar responded in a dramatic tone. “It’s about something deeply concerning…”
“W-What is it…?” Kieran murmured nervously.
“I was never invited to the BB League CLUBROOM!” Briar exclaimed.
“Well, I mean, you did kinda put us all in danger back in Area Zero.” I remarked.
“But that doesn’t mean I don’t deserve more DIALOGUE!” Briar insisted. “Please, let me engage in conversation with you all! I promise I will provide MUCH entertainment!”
“I guess Miss Bwiaw has a big puhsonawity too…” Penny commented.
“THAT’S WHAT YOU CALLED US ALL THE WAY HERE FOR?” Drayton hollered.
“Well, this burns me up,” Crispin stated.
“Miss Briar!” Lacey scolded as she crossed her arms in an X-shape. “Calling us all here just for a casual conversation is just not right!”
“Agreed,” Amarys replied, nodding her head while giving Briar a cold glare. “We all have very busy schedules. I was right in the middle of writing a new fanfic about Kieran and I getting married.”
“Huh?” Kieran responded calmly.
“Did I say that out loud?” Amarys asked herself, beginning to blush as her glasses shone and concealed her eyes. “Activate embarrassment…”
“You never told me you had a crush on my brother!” Carmine exclaimed. “What happened to the girl code?”
“I’m afraid the girl code is not part of my coding,” Amarys explained. “I am a robot, you see.”
“Wait, can wobots have cwushes?” Penny asked.
“Yes,” Amarys answered. “Robots can have crushes on other robots.”
“Hold on…” Carmine muttered, widening her eyes in disbelief. “So that means Kiki’s been a robot this whole time?”
“OOOOOH, PLOT TWIIIIIIST!” Drayton declared.
“Oh, wowzers,” Kieran replied sheepishly. “I can’t believe I forgot to tell you…”
“Well, this is getting awkward fast…” I commented.
“Anyway, would anyone here like to read one of my fanfics about me, a robot, and Kieran, another robot, falling in love?” Amarys asked.
“That sounds cwinge…” Penny remarked without any hesitation.
“Hey, we don’t know that!” Nemona argued, before facing Amarys with an excited grin. “Do they have any battle scenes?”
“Tch!” Arven exclaimed. “Of course, you’d ask that…”
“Excuse me, everyone,” Briar interrupted. “But… teen crushes isn’t exactly a topic I feel comfortable engaging in conversation about. I am in my thirties, you see. PERHAPS we could talk instead about the TERASTAL…”
Lacey loudly gasped as she noticed the fluffy Eevee backpack that Penny was wearing. “Aww, what a cute Eevee backpack!” she commented. “Tell me, who’s your favourite Eeveelution?
“Um…” Penny murmured, shyly staring at the ground. “I feew wike it would be wong fo me to have a favowite… I have evewy Veeveewution, so that would be wike choosing a favowite kid…”
“Well, my favourite is Sylveon!” Lacey cheered. “I love how cute it is, and the fact that it’s a Fairy-Type Pokemon! I mean, what’s cuter than a Fairy-Type?”
“I-I think you are, Lacey…” Crispin replied with a blush.
“Bzzzt!” Lacey objected as she crossed her arms. “Wrong answer! The correct answer is nothing!”
“EXCEPT FOR MEEEEE!” Drayton bragged. “I’M THE CUTEST GUY IN THE BUSINESS!”
“Yeah, sure,” Carmine replied, giving Drayton the side-eye. “Keep telling yourself that, bozo.”
“HAHA!” Drayton laughed, completely unbothered. “YOU JUST DON’T WANNA ADMIT THAT YOU THINK I’M CUTE TOO!”
Carmine’s face turned beet red as she rapidly shook her head and glared at Drayton. “W-What? I would never!”
Kieran let out a chuckle as Carmine turned her glare toward him.
“What’s so funny, Kiki?” she asked.
“I mean, it’s pretty obvious you like him,” Kieran commented. “But come on, Sis, you could do better than Drayton.”
Carmine groaned loudly as she shook her fists in rage.
“Man, does everyone in this school have crushes on each other?” Arven asked, shaking his head in exasperation. “I just don’t get it…”
“Tell me about it…” I agreed. I’m aroace, you see.
“And I don’t get why you all seem to be IGNORING me!” Briar exclaimed. “Please, let us talk about ANYTHING other than crushes!”
“Okay!” Nemona quickly replied. “Let’s talk about battles! You Elite Four members have some crazy strong Pokemon, yeah? How high level are they?”
“Our Pokemon are around level 80,” Lacey answered.
“Wow, that’s so high!” Nemona cheered.
“HA! HIGH JUST LIKE PERRIN!” Drayton commented.
“Just like who?” Arven asked with a concerned look.
“OH, SHE’S THE SCHOOL PHOTOGRAPHER, AND SHE’S ALWAYS ON DRUUUUGS!” Drayton explained.
“And the schoo awwows that?” Penny asked with a baffled expression.
“According to the school’s staff rules, working on marijuana is indeed permitted,” Amarys stated. “So long as you don’t smoke inside, of course.”
“I… have concuhns about that…” Penny admitted.
“Yeah, I have very strong feelings about it too,” Crispin agreed. “Just thinking about it steams me up.”
“WELL, why talk about controversial school rules when we COULD talk about…” Briar intervened, before being interrupted once again.
“Tch! Come on, guys!” Arven exclaimed. “Can’t we all just chill out and have a sandwich or something?”
Right at that second, my Koraidon popped out of its Poke Ball, startling everyone in the room except for me and Amarys.
“Agias!” Koraidon cried eagerly.
“Yeah, I knew that would happen,” I commented.
“Ah, nice to see you again, Agias,” Amarys greeted with a slight smile.
“YOOOO!” Drayton cheered. “WHERE’D THAT DOPE DRAGON COME FROOOOOM?”
“Oh yeah, that’s Kaity’s Koraidon,” Kieran explained. “Apparently, it comes out of its Poke Ball whenever it hears the word ‘sandwich’.”
“Aww, that’s so cute!” Lacey squealed.
“Anyway, a sandwich sounds great!” Nemona cheered, raising her fist into the air. “What kind of sandwich are you gonna make for us this time, Arven?”
“Hm…” Arven responded, folding arms as he thought intensely. “That’s a good question…”
“You like making sandwiches too, Arven?” Crispin asked, speaking calmly as he tightly gripped his frying pan with an exhilarated grin. “That’s lit.”
“Sure is!” Arven agreed. “What kind of sandwiches do you like, little buddy?”
“You onwy just met him, Awven…” Penny remarked, annoyedly tapping her forehead.
“I like to make super-spicy sandwiches,” Crispin answered. “And I mean super-spicy, so hot that it gets me breathing flames. Kaity tried to make one for me a while back, but she failed miserably. Three times.”
“Hey, it’s not my fault I know nothing about food!” I argued.
“Well, obviously,” Arven replied in a mildly sassy tone. “You gave all those delicious sandwiches we made to Koraidon without a second thought!”
“You what?” Crispin asked, widening his eyes in shock. “That’s crazy. Care to comment?”
As Crispin held his frying pan toward me like a microphone, I calmly walked up to him, and then shook my head with a gentle smile. “No.”
“OOOOOOH!” Drayton shouted.
“Ouch,” Crispin muttered, before giving me a proud smile. “You roasted me good.”
“COME ON, children, all this talk about sandwiches is making me HUNGRY!” Briar complained. “Either let’s make that sandwich, or let’s CHANGE the subject!”
“Well, there isn’t much space here for a picnic…” Kieran commented.
“Then let’s talk about something juicy!” Carmine suggested. “Any of you guys got skeletons in your closet you wanna reveal?”
“You really think that’s a good question to ask, Sis…?” Kieran replied, looking 100% done.
“What sort of messed up person keeps skeletons in their closet?” Crispin asked. “I keep my skeletons in my pantry.”
“Literal skeletons? In your pantry?” Lacey exclaimed with an appalled look, then crossed her arms disapprovingly. “That’s just not right!”
“I DUNNO, I THINK THAT’S KINDA SIIIIIICK!” Drayton admitted.
“You know what else is… sick?” Amarys awkwardly added. “Keeping all the world’s supply of backlit pocket watches in your cabinet. That’s what I do.”
“Awe backwit pocket watches even a thing?” Penny questioned.
Amarys gasped at Penny’s question. “Of course, they’re a thing! They’re what I use to make decisions! Speaking of which, I should check my backlit pocket watch right now.” She then pulled out her pocket watch and glanced down at it. “It is 6:15. According to my programming, that means I must… slap you.”
“W-What?” Penny exclaimed.
“Just kidding,” Amarys calmly stated. “Haha, yet another one of Amarys’s Amusements.”
“You’we… stwange…” Penny commented.
“Yes, I get that a lot,” Amarys replied with an agreeing nod.
“Hey, I get that a lot too!” Carmine remarked.
“ME TOO!” Nemona, Arven, Lacey, Crispin, and Drayton all shouted simultaneously.
“Wowzers…” Kieran responded, not even looking surprised. “Well, at least this conversation can’t get any weirder.”
Just as Kieran said that, however, the door swung open, and in came Perrin. “Heeeeey!” she shouted euphorically.
“Hey, Perrin,” I calmly greeted back. “Still as high as ever?”
“Oh, you know it, baby!” Perrin cheered.
“Perrin, PLEASE!” Briar exclaimed. “This is an IMPORTANT meeting!”
“Oh, don’t worry, I won’t be here for long!” Perrin replied nonchalantly. “I’m just here to take some pictures for the school yearbook!” She then held up her camera and faced it at the students. “Ready? Everyone, say… cannabis!”
“CANNABIS!” Drayton shouted with no hesitation, grinning widely.
“C-Cannabis…?” the rest of us muttered with awkward smiles as Perrin pressed the snapshot button.
“Uh, I think you mean, ‘Everyone, say ‘Chansey’’…” Carmine corrected.
“Oops, hehehe…” Perrin replied with a breathy laugh. “Sorry about that. I’m high, you see.”
“We know!” Everyone insisted.
“Oh…” Perrin muttered in shock. “I guess the secret’s out…” She quickly shook off that feeling of shock though, then smiled at the students. “Anyway, thanks for letting me take that picture! Byeeeee!”
As Perrin left the room, Briar let out a dejected sigh. “Well, it appears no one wants to listen to me…” she remarked. “Very well, kids. You are all DISMISSED!”
“YEAAAAH!” Drayton cheered. “NOW I CAN GET BACK TO LOUNGING AROUND DOING NOTHIIIIIIING!”
“Well, while you’re slacking off…” Lacey said as she gave Drayton the side-eye, before quickly smiling again. “I’ll get back to taking cute photos with my Pokemon!”
“And I’ll get back to writing my romantic zines,” Amarys declared.
“I was going to make a super-spicy sandwich on my own,” Crispin stated. “But… what do you say we make one together, Arven?”
“Sounds good!” Arven answered, giving his new friend an enthusiastic thumbs up.
“Agias!” Koraidon cried.
“Sure!” Arven replied with a welcoming smile. “You can come along too, bud!”
“Gias?” Koraidon muttered, staring at Arven in surprise. It then gave him a massive smile, before approaching him and licking his face repeatedly.
“Haha! Hey, take it easy!” Arven replied, laughing from the ticklish sensation.
“Aww!” I reacted.
“So… no one wants to battle…?” Nemona muttered disappointedly.
“Honestwy, Nemona…” Penny replied as she shook her head. “Wife’s not aww about battwing…”
“Hahaha!” Nemona laughed, instantly cheered up by Penny’s supposed joke. “Ah, Penny, you’re so funny!”
As everyone except for me, Carmine, and Kieran left the room, Briar took that final opportunity to start a conversation with us. “So, uh… would any of you like to hear me do a DRAMATIC reading of my new book about our adventures in AREA ZERO?”
We all stared at Briar, then replied simultaneously, “Nah.”
“Oh… okay…” Briar mumbled as the rest of us left the room.