Chapter Text
Persi wanted so badly to believe in something as a child. Something different than the God Smelly Gabe used to justify his hatred and general awfulness. If that god was okay with Smelly Gabe hurting him, Persi wanted nothing to do with Him.
This led him to ask his mom if there were any different gods that he could pray to instead of the one that Gabe said was the only god. Even as a small child, Persi had learned that Smelly Gabe lied. He lied about everything, so why would this be any different?
When his mom started telling him myths about other gods, a whole new world was opened up to Persi. Learning about the gods gave Persi a way to escape from what was being done to him. Sometimes the only thing he could do was to sink into his mind where he could pretend that he was a hero like in the myths.
In the safety of his mind, Persi could be the hero who slayed the monsters. If only he could save himself from the monster his mom had married. Did she know what he was doing? Was he hurting her too? Unfortunately Persi didn’t have those answers and wouldn’t for a long time.
As Persi was trying to forget about the the brand new bruises covering his body, he looked out the window and saw the moon. The moon had always comforted him and made him feel like someone was watching over him even when things got bad, but that feeling became even more prominent since learning about different gods.
With the focus of an ADHD kid with a new hyperfixation, Persi threw himself into learning about all of the different gods and the different pantheons. For some reason that he couldn’t explain, he felt most drawn to the Greek gods and myths.
Paying special attention to the myths surrounding the moon, Persi soon learned about Artemis. Learning about Artemis opened the door for Persi to talk to someone about what he was going through, even though there were no responses, without feeling guilty for making his mom worry.
Talking to Artemis started as a desperate need to not feel so lonely and confused. Smelly Gabe had just finished another of what he called “guy talks” which basically meant he had berated Persi, calling him a stupid little boy while making sure none of the bruises would be in visible places.
More than the bruises littering the child’s skin the thing that hurt the most was being called a “stupid little boy”. Pulling out the food that was tucked away in a napkin from dinner, Persi made the impulsive decision to set some aside as if it were being shared as the words flowed.
For several minutes Persi couldn’t even think about where to start until finally, in a small choked up voice that was layered with pain and confusion, the child brokenly whispered, “I’m not a boy. Everyone says I’m a boy and I’m not. Well…I’m not just a boy. I’m a boy and a girl and I’m neither and both and all at once. Does that make me a freak? I mean…even more of a freak? Is that why Smelly Gabe hurts me? Because I’m a freak? I don’t know if you’re out there Artemis, and even if you are, I’m sure you have much more important things to do than listen to…to a freak like me. You probably think of me as a boy too, and that means I’m bad. I guess in that way I really am a boy. I cause too many problems and I don’t know why my mom hasn’t already sent me away forever. Thank you for letting the moon shine on me and making me feel like I’m protected in its light, even if I am just a stupid little boy.”
Finishing off with a choked off sob, Persi turned away from the moon to cry silently into eir pillow. Due to the fact that Persi had covered eir head with the blanket, ey didn’t notice the food ey set aside disappearing.
As Persi cried eirself to sleep, the feeling of a warm hug engulfed em, healing the many bruises and abrasions gently. From that point on, no matter where Persi was, ey set food out and talked to Artemis about eir day. Everything Persi didn’t want to worry eir mom with was brought up to Artemis.
Along with talking about eir day, Persi also talked about the animals ey had learned about and thanked Artemis for letting the light of the moon shine on em. Despite everything Persi was going through and every hurt ey received, ey never once asked for anything when talking to Artemis, not even for some sign she was there and listening.
Artemis found herself intrigued by the small mortal child who prayed to her under the light of the moon just to tell someone ey wasn’t a boy. Hurt, confused, and feeling alone the child still didn’t ask anything of her except acceptance of who ey were. Even that wasn’t something ey expected from her or anyone else.
Although it started with being intrigued, Artemis quickly became protective of Persi. She could tell immediately that ey were a powerful demigod, and that the abhorrent human who hurt em was masking eir scent from monsters, which meant that as much as she would like to dispose of the mortal, she couldn’t without putting her Moonbeam in even more danger. That didn’t mean she couldn’t cause the foolish mortal pain that couldn't be traced back to Persi in any way though.
In dreams Persi was encouraged to talk to eir mom about not feeling like a boy, and so that’s what ey did. On one of their rare trips to Montauk Persi finally decided to tell her as they sat looking out over the ocean. After Persi took a few fortifying breaths, ey shakily asked for eir mom’s full attention.
Once her attention was completely focused on her child, Persi quietly asked “would you still love me if I wasn’t a boy?”
The immediate response from Sally put Persi's fears to rest. “You are my child, and there’s nothing you could ever do to make me stop loving you. Especially not when you are just being yourself. Do you want to tell me about not being a boy and what that means for you?”
Looking out at the ocean with a small relieved smile, Persi began talking about how gender felt like the tides, constantly flowing and never constant. Ey talked about the vastness of the ocean and how that’s how gender felt, constant in its ever present change. Sally smiled wistfully out to the ocean while her child talked, thinking of eir father and how much like him Persi was.