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They barely entered Xie Lian’s tiny apartment when Hua Cheng kicked his shoes off like an overjoyed kid, placing them neatly in the corner after a moment of consideration so Xie Lian wouldn’t be upset at him—though he knew his beloved would only roll his eyes fondly at him.
Hua Cheng moved to the living room with a quick yet careful step, mindful of his difficulty walking, supporting himself against the walls as he went. Memories from two years ago flashed back to the surface of his mind on their own.
It really feels like I’m back home, Hua Cheng thought to himself, a soft expression tangled with melancholy appearing over his face as he ran his hand over the table they had shared so many meals on, and across the counter in the kitchen where they had cooked together.
His eyes darted between the couch where Xie Lian and he had cuddled for hours and the white painted walls, already permeated with Xie Lian’s scent—soon it became overwhelming for Hua Cheng—all those good memories flooding back, encouraging him to embrace and cherish them anew.
Given everything that had happened to them over the last few years, starting from when they were still just kids—to the current moment, with them both being adults—Hua Cheng felt a tear of happiness gathering in the corner of his eye; it was real. He was alive, so was Xie Lian, and they could enjoy their happiness they both carved for so long, with no one standing in the way.
Engrossed in his own thoughts, Hua Cheng didn’t even realize Xie Lian was standing behind him; it was only when he felt those strong arms wrapping around his middle that he snapped out of his mental journey to the past.
Xie Lian pressed his forehead against Hua Cheng’s back, sighing in contentment. “I’m so happy to have you back,” he confessed, his voice tinted with various emotions, barely holding back tears—as was Hua Cheng. Xie Lian pulled his face away from Hua Cheng’s back eventually, instead gripping his shirt tightly as doubts began to surface. “San Lang, are you sure about all this? Do you really want to live here? My apartment has always been cramped. What if it won’t be enough for you to live comfortably? I—” Xie Lian trailed off hesitantly, noticing Hua Cheng’s affectionate expression as he turned around to face him.
“What are you talking about, gege? This has been the first place I could call my home,” Hua Cheng replied, gesturing with his hand at everything within his reach. “It feels like home with you here. How could I possibly demand more from you? You’ve already given me everything you have, welcomed me under your roof even though I lack an educational background, never graduated high school, have no job, and no money—I was in a coma for so long, yet none of that matters to you.” Hua Cheng cupped Xie Lian’s face between his hands, leaning closer so their noses brushed against each other, and continued in a low voice, “You’ve worked so hard to make me feel at home, even though I said I don’t want you to overwork yourself. It’s perfect here, gege. As long as you are beside me, I have everything I need.”
“San Lang,” Xie Lian’s emotions took over, making him unable to say more than Hua Cheng’s name as tears slowly trickled down his cheeks. He tried to wipe them away quickly, but it was futile as more tears welled up in the corners of his eyes. Hua Cheng couldn’t help but shake his head fondly, gently loosening Xie Lian’s grip on his shirt and intertwining their fingers together, their hands swaying together in a comforting rhythm.
“Gege is really stuck with me for good now,” Hua Cheng said with a mischievous glint in his visible eye, yet it quickly shifted to affection again as he murmured into Xie Lian’s ears, “I'm really living my dream. I’d love to whisk you away—” he trailed off all of a sudden, a slight blush blossoming over his cheeks, “but gege has to give me some time to gather more strength. I’m afraid I won’t be able to lift you with my weak arms yet.”
Xie Lian took on a scolding expression, pursing his lips. “Don’t you dare even try. We left the hospital less than an hour ago, and your body—I know you’ve worked hard, San Lang, over the past two years. But please, don’t overexert yourself. Let me be the stronger one for the time being. We are not in a hurry anymore.”
“Oh?” Hua Cheng raised his eyebrow, visibly perked up at the idea popping into his head. “Perhaps gege would hoist me over his shoulder and take me to bed. I feel so weak…”
“What? It’s not even past noon—” Xie Lian said, dumbfounded. When the second meaning of Hua Cheng’s words dawned on him, the tips of his ears tinted a dark shade of red. He did his best to look at Hua Cheng without averting his eyes as he said, “San Lang, I— I don’t know if any sexual activity is recommended in your state. You’re still weak, and it might be really exhausting for your body,” Xie Lian explained, but his voice faded away at Hua Cheng’s change in expression and sudden fond laugh.
“I didn’t mean it, gege, but since you mentioned it…” Hua Cheng squinted his eye, visibly amused by Xie Lian’s words. His body trembled as he continued to giggle, unable to calm down.
“Ha ha, very funny, San Lang,” Xie Lian turned around on his heel, crossing his arms over his chest as he took on an offended expression. Yet, his pout quickly vanished from his face as Hua Cheng’s arms found his waist, wrapping them tightly around his body.
“But gege, people say that sex is good for recovery. Good for the body, good for the mind,” Hua Cheng purred into Xie Lian’s ear in a teasing tone.
“No one says that,” Xie Lian rebuked quickly. His face resembled a freshly harvested tomato from a vegetable garden, all covered in a red tint.
Hua Cheng rested his chin on Xie Lian’s shoulder, bringing their bodies impossibly closer. “Gege, since you have this weekend off, why not take advantage of it? I hadn’t planned on letting you leave our bed today, anyway.”
“So you did mean it!” Xie Lian exclaimed, embarrassed, which prompted Hua Cheng to laugh fondly again. “You are such a tease,” he sighed, and shifted his gaze on Hua Cheng’s face again. “Let me take real care of you first. I want to be a good boyfriend, doing my best to bring you back to your full strength. I promised your nurse to feed you with as many vegetables as possible, knowing you wouldn’t refuse me. That’s what she said, not me,” he added quickly.
Hua Cheng’s expression shifted to a sour one, because that damned nurse of his, Yushi Huang, got to know him well over the past two years. He really liked her, though convincing Xie Lian to smuggle more veggies he detested so much into his diet was a low blow.
Hua Cheng was a weak man when it came to Xie Lian, and naturally, she knew he wouldn’t refuse Xie Lian.
Perhaps Hua Cheng would convenience Xie Lian to feed him. Then, even veggies would taste better.
〰〰〰
Hua Cheng admitted reluctantly that his body was really weak as he collapsed lifelessly on the bed. In the end Xie Lian had eagerly agreed on consuming their love again—something they had done only once before, in Hua Cheng’s previous form—yet Hua Cheng’s current body became quickly exhausted, his eyelids weighing on him after reaching only one climax.
Though seeing Xie Lian comfortable taking the lead pleased him; his boyfriend really surprised him with his ideas, bringing their activity to another level, yet still being cautious about Hua Cheng’s well-being.
How much he loved that man, he thought before closing his eye, the slumber welcoming him with its arms spread open. Yet, it didn’t last long as a warm, soft peck on his neck brought his consciousness back.
“Gege?” Hua Cheng called with a husky tone, opting to keep his eye closed. He sensed Xie Lian trying to settle comfortably in his arms, feeling Xie Lian’s rash breath against his chest. It felt so warm, Hua Cheng realized tenderly, having their bodies so close, their legs tangled. In his previous state, he couldn’t fully grasp and enjoy Xie Lian’s warmth.
Xie Lian stayed quiet, instead planting another kiss, this time on Hua Cheng’s chest, just where his heart beat with a still-accelerated pace after their lovemaking. When Xie Lian withdrew his lips, he pressed his ear against Hua Cheng’s chest, intently listening to his heartbeat.
“San Lang is so strong,” Xie Lian said in a low voice eventually, prompting Hua Cheng to peek at him from behind his dark, long eyelashes. “So handsome and smart. I really like the way you look, San Lang. Your previous form was handsome, naturally, but I’m really… attracted to your current one. I’ve always been. I can see a blush rising on your cheeks, it’s such a cute sight. You look cute when you’re shy.”
“What?” Hua Cheng propped himself up on his elbow, causing Xie Lian to lay on his back, with Hua Cheng hovering above him slightly. He opened his eye fully, gazing intently at Xie Lian. “What has possessed you, gege?”
“Nothing,” Xie Lian replied with a soft smile, cupping Hua Cheng’s face with his hands. “My San Lang is so brave, enduring so much pain. I’ll never let you experience it again. You deserve to be happy. Always.”
Hua Cheng blinked at him, taken aback, and Xie Lian continued, his voice growing firmer with each new praise. “San Lang is so talented, so creative, his head is always full of various ideas. I can’t wait to see you back working on some art.”
Hua Cheng opened his mouth to rebuke, but Xie Lian didn’t allow him to say anything, continuing his monologue. “My San Lang is so hard-working, doing his best to be healthy again. He’s so dear to me, finding me again after that accident, taking care of me and putting my well-being first. He has never given up on me,” Xie Lian’s voice quivered as tears gathered in the corners of his eyes. “I love you so much, San Lang.”
Hua Cheng’s dark pupil widened in shock, though it wasn’t Xie Lian’s words that surprised him the most. It was his beloved’s expression, looking back at him with teary eyes, yet with a shy smile blossoming on his face—it wasn’t the first time Xie Lian watched him with such affection, yet at the moment it felt different. They were finally free, with no one trying to grasp their happiness and shatter it into a million pieces. They could enjoy each other’s presence, live as they wished; perhaps Xie Lian had fully comprehended it now, basking in Hua Cheng’s warmth, the warmth of his real body.
A single tear rolled down Xie Lian’s cheek, yet it wasn’t his own; it escaped from Hua Cheng’s eye uncontrollably, his body still hovering above Xie Lian’s, the drop disappearing from Xie Lian’s face but marking his soft skin on its way down.
A lump formed in Hua Cheng’s throat, making him unable to speak. Yet, who cared about words when his actions could convey more than a thousand of them?
Hua Cheng pressed his lips to Xie Lian’s in a long, deep kiss, filling the room with only the sound of their quiet, occasional whimpers. His hands sought out Xie Lian’s, intertwining their fingers and squeezing them tenderly as the kiss deepened even further.
When they parted to catch their breath, Xie Lian gazed at Hua Cheng with starry eyes, mesmerized by his tender smile. Hua Cheng leaned in as if to kiss Xie Lian again, but hesitated when Xie Lian spoke faintly, “San Lang?”
Hua Cheng released a quivering breath. “Yes?”
“I want to take you on a proper date,” Xie Lian announced, not asking, and pressed his lips against Hua Cheng’s before he could respond.
In truth, Xie Lian didn’t need an answer. Hua Cheng would follow him wherever he wished.
✧˖ ✧˖ ✧˖
The birds flew above their heads, singing in a joyful tune as they maneuvered between trees in the park, their wings fluttering harder against the light May breeze, which ruffled not only the leaves of trees but also people’s hair.
Hua Cheng tucked a lock of his long, dark hair behind his ear, though it was futile as it returned to his face again and again, no matter how many times he tried to keep it in place. Xie Lian shook his head fondly at the sight, pointing to a nearby bench to sit and rest for a while after their peaceful stroll.
It was their first date, and at Hua Cheng’s request, they decided to spend their time outdoors, feeling overwhelmed by closed spaces after almost two years spent in the hospital. Naturally, Xie Lian agreed, suggesting a park near their apartment bustling with people of all ages enjoying their Saturday.
Xie Lian gestured for Hua Cheng to turn around, and once his back faced Xie Lian, the latter gathered Hua Cheng’s hair in his hands, attempting to secure it in one place with a white hairband. “San Lang struggled so much with his hair,” Xie Lian admitted in a playful tone, running his fingers through the low tied ponytail. “Your hair is so soft, San Lang. And so long, I’m jealous.”
Hua Cheng peeked at him from over his shoulder, taking in Xie Lian’s appearance. “But gege’s hair is pretty long, too. It has grown a lot over the past two years,” he observed. That’s true—Xie Lian’s hair already reached past his shoulder blades.
“Mm. Your mom wanted to cut your hair when you were still in a coma, saying it would make it easier for the nurses to take care of you. But I convinced her to abandon the idea.”
“Gege’s my savior,” Hua Cheng replied teasingly. “I like it long.”
Seizing the opportunity, Xie Lian wrapped his arms around Hua Cheng, embracing him from behind as he pressed his cheek against Hua Cheng’s back, basking in both Hua Cheng’s presence and the warmth of the sun.
They stayed like this without saying a word, enjoying the sounds around them. Xie Lian sought out Hua Cheng’s hands, holding them tight. “There’s something I’ve always wanted to ask you about, San Lang,” Xie Lian spoke faintly, breaking the silence.
Talking with his back facing Xie Lian wasn’t to Hua Cheng’s content, so reluctantly, Xie Lian allowed him to turn around again. “What is it?” Hua Cheng asked, throwing his arm over Xie Lian’s shoulder to hold him close.
“Since you never died… you couldn’t have been a ghost. What was that form of you?” Xie Lian asked. Hua Cheng observed him fidgeting with his fingers for a while but soon shifted his gaze to the sky above, watching as clouds with different shapes slowly moved forward across the blue, endless surface.
“It’s complicated. I thought I was a ghost for a long time,” Hua Cheng replied in a calm tone, searching for the right words to explain the exceptional case he had found himself in. “I woke up not long after that accident, gege. Everything seemed as though I hadn’t committed suicide in the first place—I looked the same, I sensed everything as always… but I was in a place I didn’t recognize, and soon after I noticed that people couldn’t see me, or at least, most of them. Those who could sense my presence were ghosts. I told you there are so many of them in this world, unable to rest in peace. I wandered for a long time, hunger or exhaustion never standing in the way.”
Xie Lian watched him the whole time, his eyes never leaving Hua Cheng’s face.
“But then a girl—or should I say a granny, though in the body of a teenager—approached me, looking at me pitifully. She knew I was struggling to find my destination, which was looking for you. I don’t know how much time had passed then, but I had only one goal in mind: to find you and protect you from Jun Wu.”
“San Lang…”
Hua Cheng shifted his gaze back to Xie Lian, smiling at him. “You’ve always been my reason to live. It seems only natural to make sure you are safe,” he admitted shyly, then continued, “She had vast knowledge about ghosts, having lived in this world for a few hundred years already, never finding her reason to leave this place. She shared her knowledge with me, telling me that ghosts could be divided into different groups, some less or more powerful, just as I once told you. As it turned out, I belonged to those powerful, and she was kind enough to tell me more about the powers I possessed. Shifting my form to another one, changing my appearance, materializing in other places, or even entering someone’s dreamland—there was much more to it, gege,” Hua Cheng said with a gentle laugh.
“Have you seen her later?” Xie Lian asked, squeezing Hua Cheng’s free hand.
“No. I left her after a few days and continued my journey, using my powers to appear in our family town within a second. But you were no longer there, nor was my house—my mother had sold it.
I continued my search and eventually arrived in this city, only to discover that my mother had settled there, opening a restaurant. Despite our strained relationship, seeing her again—I had to stay there for a while. Despite everything, she was better than my father, and I was truly happy she had moved forward… and then you appeared at her restaurant, inquiring about a job. Seeing you again was one of the happiest moments in my life. You were alive.”
“It was such a miracle she hired me,” Xie Lian chuckled at the memory, but his voice quickly shifted to a serious tone. “I wonder if it was just a coincidence or fate for us to meet again. Moving to this city was such a random decision, made without a second thought.”
“I would have found you eventually, though fate’s help was appreciated,” Hua Cheng admitted with a huff. “But to answer your question, gege, I truly don’t know what I was back then. I couldn’t find my grave in our family town, so when He Xuan told you on September 8th that he wanted to pay a visit to his dead friend, I knew he had me in mind, so I followed him that day.”
Xie Lian held his breath, releasing it only after Hua Cheng noticed. He furrowed his eyebrows in an unspoken threat, indicating he wouldn’t continue unless Xie Lian breathed properly.
“But He Xuan didn’t even leave this city, instead going to a hospital,” Hua Cheng laughed miserably. “I saw my body lying lifelessly in the hospital bed, with my mother beside, clutching onto my hands as though her life depended on it. I couldn’t believe it—I wasn’t dead, but I was a ghost. Perhaps I never was a ghost in the first place, but then—I don’t know what I was. It didn’t matter as long as I had the power to protect you,” Hua Cheng said firmly, clenching his free hand into a fist. “And now we are here, chilling on a bench in a nice park, with Jun Wu no longer being a danger.”
“I was really blind back then, wasn’t I?” Xie Lian muttered under his breath, leaving the question without an answer. “I wouldn’t mind… living the rest of our days in peace. Just the two of us in our little bubble of happiness,” Xie Lian said after a moment, a soft smile blossoming on his face at the thought of their future.
Some of Xie Lian’s words still echoed inside Hua Cheng’s mind, even though a moment had already passed since Xie Lian had spoken them.
The rest of our days.
Together?
After what they had lived through, Hua Cheng no longer had doubts about it, yet there was one thing he still hadn’t managed to accomplish, something he had always dreamed about—
Without a word, Hua Cheng withdrew his arm from Xie Lian’s shoulder, turning his body to face his beloved properly. Xie Lian watched him, confusion evident on his face at Hua Cheng’s sudden action.
“Gege,” Hua Cheng said hesitantly, taking Xie Lian’s hands in his. “I know I have nothing to offer but my devotion towards you, something that has always been a flame of hope in my life, but—,” he trailed off, taking a deep breath to calm his racing heart. “Marry me?”
In a split second, Xie Lian’s eyes widened, his lips slightly parted, as if he had misheard, but then—but then his eyes teared up, his expression abundant in hope as he asked faintly, “You… you really mean it?”
Hua Cheng smiled widely at him, a little crease appearing in the corner of his visible eye. “I mean it, gege. I want to spend the rest of my days by your side—”
Before he could finish, Xie Lian threw himself over him, wrapping his arms tightly around his neck as he pulled him into a deep, passionate kiss, even though they were in public. In that moment, what mattered was them, the world around them fading away.
“Is it a ‘yes’?” Hua Cheng chuckled fondly once their lips parted, his gaze filled with affection as he looked at Xie Lian.
“A hundred times yes, San Lang. You make me the happiest man in the world.”
Hua Cheng’s body trembled at Xie Lian’s honest and tender words. He hid his face in the crook of Xie Lian’s neck, overwhelmed by emotion. An old couple passing by looked in their direction and smiled lovingly, recognizing the deep bond between them.
“Once I save enough money, I will give you a proper engagement ring, gege,” Hua Cheng promised firmly, though his voice was hushed as his face remained tightly pressed against Xie Lian’s skin.
“You’ve already given me a ring, San Lang. It’s more than enough,” Xie Lian reassured him in a tender voice, pulling slightly away from Hua Cheng to reveal a ring hanging on a simple chain from beneath his clothes.
The ring shimmered brightly as the sun’s rays danced upon it, attracting some birds’ attention as they began flying above their heads. Xie Lian quickly concealed it again, afraid of the newcomers stealing it.
Without exchanging more words, they pressed their lips together once more, savoring the moment without feeling rushed.
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“I love you, Xie Lian,” Hua Cheng said affectionately as they sat together on the same bench where Hua Cheng had proposed to Xie Lian several decades ago. Despite their aging bodies and wrinkles covering every area of their skin, their love for each other remained as strong as ever, continuously deepening with each passing moment.