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They had no choice but to take shelter from the rain. Again.
This time though, Sarah couldn't run. The soft drizzle was acid strong enough to melt skin.
Sarah glanced at Bianca. She was sitting on the floor with her knees up, bag at her side, and her back against the wall. The rain probably won't stop soon.
It has been awhile since they lingered on their way to the station. Of course, this wasn't by choice, but by necessity.
Bianca had been busy in the past few weeks with things she wouldn't say. It looked like serious business, horribly serious, since all the times Sarah saw her in school she was scowling and looking murderous.
It was only now that the crease between her eyebrows was less. Although that was probably because of the rain and how it made it impossible for Bianca to not stop and just sit for a moment.
Sarah was glad her friend got the respite, as short as it was.
But…
Sarah sat close, but not too close, to Bianca. Like maybe one seat apart, when usually Bianca allowed only half the space between them.
There was a tense and awkward silence.
That was Sarah's fault. It was hers. She won't deny it.
Bianca was normally quiet and reserved, and so it was Sarah's job to ask and try to ease some of her worries, or distract her from them. Sarah meant to, she wanted to, but, but-
Sarah sighed loudly and leaned her head back against the wall. She pushed for a cheerful and casual tone when she said,
"You think the rain will stop anytime soon?"
She knew the answer was no. Although Sarah couldn't think of herself as smart, she had good common folk instincts.
"No, it'll get stronger first,"
Bianca replied.
The tone was curt, but the fact that it wasn't a one-word answer made it difficult to stop the corners of Sarah's mouth from lifting.
Stop that. You don't get to do that. Not when-
Sarah sighed with exaggeration. She pulled up her knees to her chest and rested her chin there.
"Hey, what have you been up to?"
Sarah asked with her usual curious smile.
At least that was never fake, Sarah was always curious about Bianca.
Bianca took a moment to look at Sarah. Sarah had to internally beat down the warm bubbly feelings that came up from that one glance.
"The usual. Clinic, treating mutations,"
Bianca paused. If she was the type to roll her eyes then that was what she did, but on her it was more of a look of pure murder.
"Dealing with annoying people."
Sarah immediately knew the latter was what drained Bianca the most, and as much as her self-esteem wanted her to think she was part of that group, Bianca never let her feel that way.
A sharp stab of guilt pushed Sarah to be more honest.
"I hope you're taking care of yourself."
Sarah's teeth clacked as her jaws snapped shut.
The words were fine, perfectly honest and friendly even. But the tone, the tone was too sharp, too aggressive, frustrated.
Bianca's demeanor shifted and Sarah felt the gaze on her grow heavy.
"What's this about?"
She tried not to pout, tried not to make it obvious that there was something deeper that bothered her. The way Bianca's eyebrow twitched just the slightest bit, was a clear sign of her failure.
"I'm just- I just worry."
Sarah knew it sounded like something was coming after the statement, but she kept her mouth shut.
A stretch of silence.
"Bianca, I-..."
Sarah glanced at her friend and faltered.
The first time Sarah saw Bianca, she admitted she found her pretty, but the real reason Sarah managed to approach the pretty girl was the obvious sadness.
Sure, at first glance she looked cold and aloof, but Sarah could tell she was troubled. And well, how could she just leave someone like Bianca alone?
She hoped to, if not subtract, then at least refrain from adding to Bianca's stress, but she failed.
It was her fault for not being better prepared for Bianca's kindness.
Bianca shifted so she was sitting on her calves and completely facing Sarah.
"Sarah, are you okay?"
Sarah gripped her arms tighter. She was a tactile kind of person, and she wanted nothing more than to reassure Bianca with a touch she was allowed, but how could she?
She wasn't worthy. Not when she was hiding such a thing from her friend.
"Thanks for worrying, but it'll be fine."
Sarah allowed all her gratefulness and care to show in her smile, with just a pinch of adoration. Just a pinch, enough to be friendly.
Maybe it was the wrong move since Bianca's brows immediately furrowed.
Darn it.
It was Sarah's fault for thinking she could resist when Bianca was so sweet.
"Hey, don't worry-"
Sarah froze.
She honestly didn't realize she was already moving, until she saw her hand almost touch Bianca's shoulder. She didn't even know she had shifted to her knees to fuss over Bianca.
Oh.
The scowl on Bianca's face softened a fraction, though she didn't look any less concerned, and it- Sarah can't help it. She's weak. So weak.
Sarah slowly and haltingly leaned closer, close enough to go cross-eyed when she kept looking Bianca in the eye, so she looked down at relaxed lips.
The thing is, Sarah may not be able to keep up with what went on in Bianca's head, but she did know Bianca. And just because Bianca hadn't tensed or frowned or snarled that didn't mean she wasn't upset.
Ah.
Shame scorched up Sarah's neck and to her ears.
What am I doing?
Sarah snapped back to her senses.
"Ah- I'm so sorry-"
Sarah straightened and almost fell on her butt as she scrambled back and tried to apologize.
Quick as lightning, Bianca snatched her wrist and pulled Sarah close. Sarah had to brace her hand on the floor to stop the collision.
They were too close again.
Sarah averted her eyes and watched the rain sizzle as it hit the ground, and turned into a puddle.
"Why did you stop?"
Bianca's voice was level, not strained nor angry, maybe it was even a tad soft. The way it usually was when she spoke to Sarah.
But Sarah was already on the verge of tears from the guilt of trespassing on her dear friend's personal space, not to mention she almost broke said friend's nose (even though that wouldn't exactly have been Sarah's fault).
Sarah pressed her lips together to hide their trembling and to keep herself from whimpering. There were words in her mind but they were stuck in her throat. It didn't help that Sarah could feel Bianca's sharp gaze on her.
Bianca squeezed her wrist a little. Her hand was cool and yet it burned Sarah's entire arm, and maybe her entire being.
Though she could just be dramatic.
No matter how it felt, it was impossible for Sarah to ignore.
To attempt to escape was dangerous, considering the hand Sarah braced on the floor was attached to the wrist Bianca commandeered.
Sarah almost couldn't stop the whimpering whine bubbling up her throat at Bianca's cool but calm tone.
"You don't stop mid application when there are no adverse effects."
Oh, Sarah was going to die. She really was!
Her heart was too loud and too fast in her ears. The air around her was too thin or something for how breathless she felt.
Nah, her lungs probably just collapsed.
"Follow through,"
Bianca said in that no-nonsense voice of hers.
Sarah tensed, her entire body went still.
The rain picked up till it was deafening, and a little cold. A rain change.
A beat passed. And another.
Then all the tension drained out of Sarah in resignation and acceptance. There was no escaping. Bianca won't let it go, not unless Sarah spoke up or followed through as instructed.
Sarah couldn't help but sigh out a helpless laugh.
She should have known. It was her own fault for finding stubbornness attractive.
Sarah pulled herself together and took a deep breath. She tried to look at blue eyes and pink pupils, but they were too close, Sarah settled for looking at still relaxed pink lips.
There were doubts, there was guilt, and there were nerves, but they were all silenced by the simple realization that Sarah had to do it. And more importantly, Bianca asked her to.
Sarah angled her face to the right just slightly, leaned forward, and pressed her lips against Bianca's. It was just a light press that she held for a few seconds. They just stayed in place like that, both unmoving, Sarah unthinking, and also not breathing.
Sarah didn't close her eyes just in case Bianca showed any signs of discomfort.
She moved to pull away, then figured she was already kissing Bianca, Sarah might as well just get another peck in. So she did.
This time she focused on kissing Bianca's lower lip, but she also pulled away faster.
Of course Sarah felt tingles and the mild typical physiological responses of arousal when they made contact. She was crushing on Bianca badly! Like bad bad!
But it was only when their lips disconnected that Sarah shivered from pleasure and excitement, and some relief.
Bianca had yet to smack her to the next city.
Sarah's face felt hot though, so there was some embarrassment (lots).
Sarah sat on her haunches so that her head was lower than Bianca's chin, and she was able to look at all of Bianca's face without leaving her proximity.
Sarah watched, awaiting judgement, as Bianca languidly moved her free hand to touch her fingertips to her lips.
"That's it?"
Sarah felt her face burst into flame.
Why, why, why did it sound like Bianca was disappointed? Like she was expecting more? Wanted more-
Shush and shut up, Sarah! You're crazy.
"What- what do you want me to do?!"
Sarah whined so high-pitched it came out a squeak.
"Hmm."
Sarah filled her cheeks with air at Bianca's neutral and thoughtful hum.
The suspense and mortification was killing her. She wanted to duck her head or maybe just run away into the acid rain and melt, but Bianca had yet to let go of her wrist!
"I don't see other people's obsession with it, but it wasn't unpleasant,"
was Bianca's verdict. Blue and pink eyes flicked towards Sarah's.
"What did you want to happen?"
Sarah sobbed in relief.
Her chin sagged to her chest and she rested her weight on her forearms, pretty much bowing and groveling before Bianca.
"Nothing really."
A relieved chuckle burst out of Sarah's mouth.
"I'm honestly just happy to hang out with you. I didn't really plan on telling you, I like just being around you."
For the next part, Sarah should probably look up and look Bianca in the eye, but she couldn't. She was too afraid and ashamed that if she looked up, she might not be able to confess.
"It's just the incident with the fungal infection…it- I-"
Sarah huffed and blinked away tears.
"It was supposed to make me feel happy, right? I was supposed to be happy while infected."
Her body trembled more violently than earlier. Sarah clenched her hands to a fist to still and steel herself.
"But I wasn't. Not entirely."
She gasped and everything just came tumbling out her mouth.
"I couldn't focus on my being happy because you weren't, and it bothered me that I left you alone! But I feel even more guilty for getting you infected! It was probably my fault for insisting on getting you onboard. I just-"
It was probably embarrassing how her voice crackled and hitched, but Sarah was done lying and hiding and being a bad friend. It wasn't fair to Bianca.
"I just didn't want you to feel like you were on your own, but then when it was over- I- I was distant."
There was the slightest squeeze on her wrist, and if it wasn't for the fact Sarah was hyper-aware of their single point of contact, she might not have noticed.
She faltered and choked a little from the realization that she hurt Bianca more than she thought.
I hurt her. I hurt her, when she deserved the opposite!
"I didn't like how I was forced to face my feelings, and I didn't know how to reconcile it with our friendship!"
Sarah sobbed and caged in on herself.
"I'm sorry. I'm so very sorry. It was selfish of me, and even this is selfish of me."
It was a struggle to keep her tears under control, when Sarah was honestly so relieved to have the truth out there.
"You should stop crying before you get stuck like that and need your eyeballs replaced,"
Bianca nonchalantly warned.
Terrifying words, but the hands that cupped Sarah's face and wiped her tears were gentle.
Sarah sniffed and looked up pitifully at her pink haired friend.
You're not mad? she wanted to ask, although the answer was pretty apparent.
Bianca never truly hid her anger. If she was mad at you, it showed.
So Sarah kept her mouth shut and let Bianca fuss over her.
Once she was mostly calm and settled, Bianca sat on the floor and had her back to the wall again. She glared pointedly at Sarah, and Sarah was all too happy to crawl and sit right next to her.
Both their knees probably hurt from the way they sat for so long. Though Sarah was so happy she couldn't really feel it.
The furrow between Bianca's brows finally disappeared when Sarah looked to the side just to beam at her.
But because the world (and Bianca) couldn't let Sarah be too happy, Bianca had to ask a question.
"If you like me, then why were you always pushing me to Michaelis?"
Now, Sarah knew how smart Bianca was, that was, really smart.
Bianca was really very smart, she was also very studious, perceptive, and actually quite sensitive to the people around her. So it was pretty obvious she was messing with Sarah.
It was only fair.
Though Sarah's awareness didn't stop the blood from rushing to her face in embarrassment.
"I'm sorry that was also mean of me. I thought if you were interested in someone, my feelings would take a hint and remain friendly."
Sarah did her best to show just how bad she felt on her face.
There was extra remorse too, for she couldn't bring herself to tell Bianca that she only wanted the best for the bestest person in the city.
Michaelis was apparently the most handsome guy in school, not to mention he was pretty good friends with Bianca, so Sarah deemed him the best and the safest. Anyone else couldn't appreciate Bianca the way she should be, and so they weren't even considered.
Just the thought of speaking the words made Sarah feel stupider and guilty.
She had no right to choose for Bianca!
"I didn't actually think you'd let yourself be pressured into doing anything you didn't want, but that was still wrong of me."
Sarah grimaced.
"That actually makes it worse. I'm really sorry… I'll make it up to you?"
Bianca's gaze was intense, and unblinking. Sarah was a few seconds away from begging on her knees, before Bianca remarked drily,
"...at least you stopped for the day once I said no."
Sarah could burst from happiness. In fact she was vibrating with so much joy, she needed an outlet, and so she looked at Bianca with her best questioning and pleading face.
Bianca only had to blink and Sarah was engulfing her in a hug.
Tight enough to be felt but not restrictive. Arms around the waist, palms flat on her back, and more pressure than grip. Sarah knew exacty how to hold Bianca now after some past trial and errors.
Sarah pressed her cheek against Bianca's shoulder, facing away from a bandage covered neck, and murmured,
"Thank you."
A soft but calloused hand crept up Sarah's back and gripped the back of her neck. The firm caress of a thumb at the base of Sarah's head felt so good, if she was a cat she would have purred!
There was a small, mortified part of Sarah that wanted to ask Bianca to not do the thing, but most of her was too touch starved to care about embarrassment.
Despite how happy she was, Sarah remembered Bianca's boundaries, and pulled back even before the maximum hug time. The grip on her neck tightened just a bit before letting go. Hence, why Sarah had no choice but to give Bianca another questioning look.
The slightest raise of Bianca's eyebrows was another great sign, and Sarah felt like she could do a flip in excitement.
She calmed herself down first, and let her adoration slip past her giddiness.
Sarah smiled at Bianca, just a little bit teasingly.
"You know, it was impossible not to like you. You're just so kind, focused, and driven, and… sweet. How could I not?"
Bianca stared her down, and no other response came, but Sarah was just happy to rest her head on Bianca's shoulder as they watched the downpour.