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Zam was sat curled up in his room on the floor, back to his bed. Honestly he doesnt know how long hes been sat like that.
He of course could check what time the e-mail was sent. And see how long he'd been curled up and crying since, from that.
The e-mail had been from the university he had applied to months ago. With a full head of anxiety and determination to get in. Best med school available to his assets. Perfect grades, perfect reccomendations, perfect entrance exams (atleast to his standards).
And still- he had gotten rejected. What the fuck was he supposed to do now. What the actual fuck.
His laptop still had the letter open on his bed. He hadn't done much since opening it honestly. He'd read it, got up, gotten liquor, started crying and curled up on the floor.
How could he not cry? A doctors medical degree is everything hes always wanted. And to land a job as a respectable surgeon, that part of the dream too. Ever since he'd seen that random tv show about a hospital in chicago his mother had been watching when he was 9, Zam had been entranced in the medical side of everything.
He had the grades, the dedication and everything else to back it up. But, fuck, does fate want to screw with people.
Zam hung his head low on his knees and cried. Liquor bottle beside him.
Then his phone started buzzing. He was really not in the mood to talk to whoever was calling.
His mother? Fuck, did he even deserve to talk to her with the disapointment he was brining to her now?
His tutor? Might aswell answer him and say that he wont be needing tutoring in chemistry anymore. If hes so fucking useless already, whats the point.
With shaking hands Zam reaches into his shorts pocket pulling out his phone. Not his tutor, not his mom. Mapic.
Fuck, Mapic. Zam really couldnt deal with disapointing the one person hes ever loved as much as this. But he couldn't just ignore the call could he?
While he was fiddling with the phone in his shaky hands, he messed up and it dropped on the floor. Now Zam really wished he had invested into a fluffy carpet to soften the fall of the phone.
Turns out the universe wasnt done fucking eith him yet. Cause the phone now had a crack going from the top left corner to the left side of the phone. Crossing his front camera. How the fuck does a phone even break from that small of a height.
Finnaly he gets a normal hold of the phone and a clear vision from the tears and picks up the call.
"Jesus christ man, finnaly. Ive been listening to that ringing music for far too long!!" Mapic says.
If Zam was any more present than he is right now he'd be able to realise Mapic was walking down the street with all the background noise. But welp he really cant be bithered right now.
"S-sorry man i-i was yea.." Zam stummers and immediatley slams his head down on his knees again, putting the phone on speaker and tossing it on the bed behind him.
"Sorry i really,... fuck im.."
"Zam? Are you alright? Are you crying..?" Mapic said now sounding more conserned than pissed at the time it took the blonde to answer the call.
The only answer he got was a sob on the other side of the phone, followed by a thump as Zam lifted his head from his knees and banged it against his bed frame.
"Zam? What was that?" Fuck if Mapic wasnt concerned now.
A moment of silence passed, well as silet as it gets when one person has car noises in the background and the other is crying his eyes dry.
"Do you want to be alone, Zam?"
"No, please no just...no" was the panicked response Mapic receaved from the other end.
"Yea alright, stupid question, im not going anywhere. Honestly, you'd have to cut my phone in half for me to leave you alone right now."
Mapic thought for a moment clearly weighing his further options of action. "Do you want me to come over? I- im a few blocks away but i could run and if i find an electric scooter i could- yea fuck do u want me to come over, Zam?"
There were sniffles and another thump as Zam hit his head against the bedframe again. "Please, Mapic please dont leave, fuck..im sorry"
That stumped Mapic. Leave? Why the fuck would Zam think he'd leave him? Mapic, the token friend of loyalty. Who would follow the people he loved like a dog until the end of the world if it thats what they wanted him to do.
"Right Zam..., i'll be over in like 15. Stay on call. Im right here, ill be right here."
And that is exactly what happened, Zam stayed on call, silent except for the occasional sniffle, sob and clank of the whiskey bottle.
While Mapic was running down busy streets and mentally cursing Bacon for take their shared motorcycle on the exact day he really happened to need it. But it was fine, he could run, maybe not as fast a motor bike but yea, he could run.
_________________________________
Mapic was running up the stairs to the blonds apartment. Only thought running through his head being Zam Zam Zam Zam.
Ok maybe he should have had more thoughts in his head than just Zam, cause while running up the last set of stairs his feet tripped abd he fell face first to the floor. Not managing to catch himself with his hands, phone going flying.
"Fuucck! Fuck man!!" When Mapic regained some sense of direction and tried to stand up he noticed blood on the floor, that had definetley not been there before. Atleast he though so? He wasn't really paying the biggest attention to his surroundings.
Sharp pain shot through his nose as he finnaly stood up, brining a hand to his nose- and blood. He had a bloody fucking nose from taking a tumble on the MOTHERFUCKING STAIRS. Good thing he had been wearing a black shirt cause otherwise hes pretty sure it would be looking like he murdered someone.
Zam. Right, fuck He had almost forgoten why he was rushing up the stairs in the first place. Looking around, turns out he was on Zams apartment floor already, literaly had been on the floor a few seconds ago.
He walked over to the blonds apartment door, holding his nose, trying to prevent any more blood from spilling out and making him look worse than he did already. Wasnt he forgeting something...?
Phone. His phone had gone flying out of his hands when he tripped and fell now laying on the ground. As he picked it up the first thing he noticed was that Zam had hung up, strange, as he had been the one to insist that Mapic doesnt hang up on him.
Second thing he noticed was that his phones screen was completely busted. Looking like a bulldozer ran it over. Why the fuck did they make them so fragile?? Yea sure it just flew onto a concrete floor, but still, that fragile?
His inner monologue was cut short as an apartment door opened next to him. Mapic was fully expecting a middle aged woman to come out and start screaming about the mess he had made with his bloody nose, but no. Standing in the doorway was Zam.
"Hey.."
"Hi..?"
Zam quickly came over to the others side, ushering him inside the apartment. Mapic was no stranger to his apartment. He could tell it apart from any other just by the smell and atmosphere of it, even with his eyss ears and mouth closed.
Zam brough him over to his bed and ran off to somewhere, the bathroom was Mapic's guess, he was a future med student after all, he probably had a whole plan in his head on what to do when a friend shows up on his doorstep with a bloody, and probably broken nose.
If anyone other than Zam were to ask him why his shirt and lower face was drenched in blood, no way in hell would he say that 'yea i ate shit to the concrete ground while running up the stairs and only having the though of fucking Zam in my head' So when Zam came back from his trip to the bathroom and asked "So what the fuck happened?" He gave him an honest answer.
"Ate shit to the ground while running up the stairs. Man they should really invest in fucking elevators or like fucking carpets even! Anything but concrete floors!" That dragged a chuckle out of the blonde as he came over to the other a wet clothz ice and wet wipes in hand.
Finaly Mapic was present enough to actualy take a good look at his boyfriend. His face looked sunken, eyes red and puffy, hair all messed up and tangled, his cheeks had visible tear stains on them. Fuck, there was definetley something wrong.
"Here put this on ur nose and this under ur nose. I'll try to clean up the dried blood on your face."
Mapic sighed whincing in pain as Zam put the ice packed on top of his nose. "Thanks man, i really fucking hope its not broken. I dont wanna look like Ro fucking Shambo with his crooked ass nose" Mapic grumbled as Zam tried his best to clean up the blood.
Took a while for them to get all the blood cleaned up, and a while for Mapics nose to stop bleeding. But somewhere around half an hour later they managed to get everything under control and clean.
Now it was Mapic sitting on the bed with his back against the wall and legs dangling off the bed as Zam laid across him the other way, head in his lap. "So do you wanna talk about what that freakout was about earlier Zammy?" Mapic finnaly askedz after several minutes of comfortable silence and Zam playing his Mapics fingers and rings.
"I...Im sorry firstly, sorry for freaking out-"
"Stop that bro, no being sorry for freaking out, its chill. Just tell me why if you can, yea? Yknow I'll always love you. Your dumbass is stuck with me, its kinda like selling your soul to the devil yknow!"Clearly Mapics attempt to cheer Zam up a bit and get him out of the self-destructive mindset worked as he made a quiet giggling sound and dropped the others hand.
"Yea, sure. You know how i applied to that high tier med school? Well they sent out their acceptance letters today...and.. and i didnt get in. I was rejected. And they cant even tell me what for! I just felt fucking useless, if they dont want me who the fuck will?!"
"Shshh, Zam. Calm down, cant believe im the one to be saying that for once. They're fools for rejecting you, if they cant see how smart and how bright of a future you have, then thats on them. Im sure theres other med schools out there, hell im certain theres a uni whos looking for exactly someone like you right now! And even if you dont want to go to a universitie anymore, that doesnt change how fucking proud and special you are to me. My personal medkit at this point! You need to understand how much people love and appriciate you."
Somewhere midway through that Zam had started crying again, not full on sobbing but just a few tears getting stuck in his eyes and running down his cheeks time to time.
"Thank you, thank you, i fucking lovr you, oh my god."
Zam turned his head to press his face into Mapic's shirt, creating something similar to a hug, well as similar as you can get with one person sitting straught up and the other laying on top of them.
They probably would have stayed like that for way longer just comforting eachother, mostly Mapic comforting Zam, running his hands through the tangled golden blond hair. If it weren't for the fact that Mapic's shirt was still bloody.
"Eww you really gotta change that shirt. Here come on i have the perfect shirt to give you!" Zam said as he suddenly sprung up, almost whacking Mapic in the nose with his forehead. That would have been interesting. "Zam i swear to got if it says something like 'penis bobber' on it i will break ur nose too."
For the first time that day Zam let out some real laughter pulling Mapic off the bed by his hand to lead him to the bathoom to throw his current shirt in the washing bin and go pick out a new shirt.
"Oh yea by the way i completely busted my phone on that fall too! Can you fucking imagine? A broken phone and nose? Stuped as fuck im telling u!"
"No way i broke my phone too today! Looks like were both fucking losers."
"Speak for yourself dude."