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The talk went okay. It was nothing grand, though Kim Raebin certainly looked surprised. Everyone else wore the faces of people who wholly knew this would happen — the whole ordeal made Park Moondae feel conflicted on a lot of levels. On one hand, he agrees that there’s a certain niceness in being known and perceived so well they guessed where the puzzle pieces would fall, on another hand, it also makes him feel complicated. Still, on account of the group’s condition and the other members’ comfort, Park Moondae never had any plans to begin with on going too crazy on the public displays of affection. As much as possible, he had told Cha Eugene the day they agreed to date, they’d keep a lower profile and act normally in front of the others.
Said ‘normal’ hasn’t been in Eugene's dictionary these past few days though. For example, at the current moment, with some of the members still not home from their respective agendas and some others littered in the living room, Cha Eugene has sneaked into the kitchen while Park Moondae is preparing their dinner. Everyone has been busy with solo activities recently, especially Keun Sejin who is now MusicGayo’s new MC and Seon Ahyeon’s first ever acting job — albeit just as an extra in a web drama — having just come in. Cha Eugene himself must be exhausted too, even as he drapes his whole figure around Park Moondae, arms circling his waist with a breathy giggle.
“What are we having tonight, Hyung?”
“Cha Eugene. Put your hands off me, I’m cooking.”
“Boo! Answer me first, Hyung.”
Even as he says that, his hold loosens and his arms disentangle themselves where they were positioned around Moondae’s waist. Cha Eugene hovers behind him still, murmuring, “It smells delicious!”
Park Moondae sighs, “... Thank you. It’s just beef stew though.”
Outside, the front door is opened and shut, the noise breaking the relative silence of the kitchen sans the simmering stew in the pot and its quiet bubbling. Bae Sejin’s voice announcing his arrival soon comes, along with the rest of the members’ chorus of replies. Keun Sejin and Seon Ahyeon should also come home any minute now, so it’s the perfect time to wrap things up. He moves quickly to turn off the stove, instructing Eugene to set the table while he’s here. No one should keep their hands idle for too long after all, it’s only right to work to the fullest before eating. Cha Eugene happily obliges, humming some English pop song popular on the radio recently as he is gathering seven plates stacked in his hands while Park Moondae grabs around for his oven mitts, taking the dutch oven off the heat and onto the dining table. They make quick work out of setting the table since it’s practically norm for Park Moondae to do the cooking on days they don’t get take out and for other members to help him out and set the table.
With the eating utensils on the table, just as the front door opens once more, sure to be Keun Sejin and Seon Ahyeon trickling in home, Cha Eugene hooks an arm around Moondae’s shoulders and pulls him close, pressing a quick, firm peck on his lips. He pulls away in an instant, smiling ear-to-ear and entirely much like a pleased cat. If he had any tail, it’d be swaying left and right in delight. Moondae isn’t even given any time to react as Cha Eugene yells, “Hyungs, Kim Raebin! Food’s ready!”
The entire dinner, his lips feel too warm to touch, even when the stew isn’t even spicy. Park Moondae pretends to miss the amused look Lee Sejin shoots at him and the vague concern Bae Sejin regards him with, feigning ignorance at the way heat collects around the tips of his ears.
Honestly speaking, there’s no way that Ryu Gunwoo of the past would ever think that he would be an idol or that he would go through a supernatural experience — or several, some of which are classified as life-threatening as well — or that he’d actually enjoy this career. It goes without saying that he’d have never expected dating a younger guy, much less a member of the same group, as well.
In the past, he had dated once or twice, though both relationships hardly survived. There were always other priorities, bills he had to pay and classes he had to study for, living as an orphan without a lot of contact with his other relatives. Friends are hard to keep and apparently, girlfriends even moreso. He’s never given much thought about his looks or personality — Ryu Gunwoo is Ryu Gunwoo and that’s all — but there were a couple of people who harbored feelings towards them. And there were moments where he was curious enough to say yes to these confessions. It’s not an elaborate story of coming-of-age romance or a romantic comedy with light-hearted but genuine feelings, more of a trial. For both cases, the people involved had been classmates during his university days and for both cases as well, they quickly got disappointed when the image of Ryu Gunwoo in their heads didn’t match up with reality. He wasn’t quite sure what they initially thought of him, but whatever it was, they would break up with him in less than three months, citing reasons like that. And so, after two chances to experiment, Ryu Gunwoo concluded that it simply wasn’t worth the effort, not that it yielded results at all in the first place. Retrospectively, as he tried to remember and review these experiences, Park Moondae thinks now that Ryu Gunwoo was quite the solitary figure, at least up until he met Keundal and the kid imprinted on him like a newborn duckling.
When Cha Eugene suddenly came up to his room, knocking so desperately like an emergency alarm to the apocalypse had finally rung, Park Moondae couldn’t have guessed that the younger would corner him and grin a million-watt smile, saying, “I love you, Hyung! We should date.” No prologue, no introduction, no formality whatsoever. It was such a Cha Eugene-esque move that he was momentarily at loss. But after thinking over it for a few seconds, going through his mental checklist and calmly looking over the situation, Park Moondae, contrary to whatever belief he himself held five minutes prior, quickly bowed his head and replied, “Please take care of me.”
Here they are now. Park Moondae, dating a younger guy and a member within the same group.
Cha Eugene is a dazzling star, one that burns so bright and draws people’s eyes in without them even noticing. He has always been brimming full of various talents, this is something Park Moondae knows even since he was still Ryu Gunwoo, something he experienced again for himself in their days in the survival show. The path to the current situation might be the last thing he’d ever expect in his whole lifetime, but Park Moondae finds himself easily content orbiting and drawn in by the force to be reckoned that is Cha Eugene.
Yet the newness of it all still manages to jostle him out of balance, a different routine in the established daily life he’s been going through as an idol and a member of TeSTAR so far. Eugene has always been brilliant, even more so when he smiles, grinning wide and beaming bright like nothing in this world is immovable enough to stop the unstoppable force that is Cha Eugene as he throttles the world in full force, tackles everything with the wholeness of his heart and soul and grasps it like a king to a crown, a ruler who would never find ways to slip up even once, blessed by all kinds of gods and a winner of nature’s beloved selection. The Cha Eugene Park Moondae gets to know as they enter this new stage of life is a little different though, subdued, not any less bright as he usually is, but gentler, softer — his smile curls tenderly like freshly changed blankets in the morning after they wake up, like feet entangled as they cuddled when the dorms are emptied out and they are the first people back home, like how he presses a kiss onto Moondae’s temples and whisper to him good night, mischievously and cleverly in English, all to not burst the private bubble they’re in. He finds that, after his long years of being alive both as Ryu Gunwoo and as Park Moondae, he’s never had this kind of connection with anyone else. Certainly, TeSTAR and Big Moon’s care is new and invaluable all the same, however what he has with Cha Eugene is a carefully balanced act, a glass cup they both hold tentatively, pain-stakingly, ensuring nothing overfills and not a single drop runs down its sides. It’s precious and precarious unlike anything he’s ever done, uncharted territories full of treasure troves and for once, Park Moondae fears of stepping on the wrong land mine, should it might end up exploding in his face — since it’s not just him alone who would bear the brunt of the damage now. There’s Cha Eugene to think of too.
“Hyung,” he calls. Eugene stretches his arms, elbow joints clacking in protest. “Let’s take a break.”
“Sure.”
The unit practice for their next fanlive places them together in a dance practice room, once again, it’s the two of them. The stage is another majestic one with a lot of big and wide choreography, nothing too difficult to execute technically, albeit it’s sure to drain quite a bit of energy to a point that Park Moondae has been going to the gym — and dragging Cha Eugene to go with him and Keun Sejin — more frequently than usual. It’s going to be the next roommate placement too — and rooming with Cha Eugene, albeit not without its cons, also has its advantages. He slithers back to the counter where the PCs stand, connected to the speakers on all four sides of the practice room, and where all their belongings pool. Park Moondae snatches a water bottle and throws it to Eugene who’s walking by, cranking another one open for himself and drinking in big gulps. No matter how many years, practices are always taxing — even with the better stamina he has now.
He’s just about to return the water bottle to its place when Park Moondae feels a pair of wet lips pressing against his cheek.
“Hehee.”
The perpetrator of the act cheekily grins, his own water bottle safely back on the counter, as his yellow eyes mischievously curve, entirely too pleased for a kid caught stealing the cookie jar. Cha Eugene’s red hair, wet with sweat and haphazardly swept aside to not poke into his eyes, only makes him look even more boyish, a charm that Park Moondae is finding out he’s not at all immune to.
It seems that, in total contrast to his own behavior, Cha Eugene is adapting just fine. After all, he takes every sign as a green light and dives into their newly blossoming relationship head first without an ounce of fear.
He has no other choice but to sigh, slumping down the wall and leaning on it as he sits with legs extended — it’s not good to fold them after strenuous activities and all — and pats the empty space beside him. Cha Eugene happily complies, hurrying over with the speed of an excited puppy in a grown man’s body. His taller figure is slightly hunched as Cha Eugene places his head on Moondae’s shoulder and this position can’t be sustainable for long or else the younger’s neck would surely be sore soon. They’re also both sweaty from the hours they’ve put into the unit performance practice, but Park Moondae finds that everything is less daunting and a lot more exciting with Cha Eugene’s firm warmth right next to him.
And when Cha Eugene reaches over and silently entangles their hands together, Park Moondae allows him.
The unit performance this time will be uploaded on a free music-hosting and streaming website called SoundCrowd as well as their official WeTube. The management made an account for TeSTAR a while ago, exclusively to post various covers that the members sang, including this occasion’s unit songs. Cha Eugene’s and Park Moondae’s performance is an English pop song released about a decade ago by a female singer who’s famous for her high notes and belting, rearranged to better fit the fanlive’s concept and their vocal ranges. For that purpose, the next few days are spent huddled between the four soundproof walls of the vocal recording booth. The sight of dark carpeted walls and the mic stand are a welcome familiarity by now.
Park Moondae clicks off the door shut behind him, just as Cha Eugene shuffles in, humming lightly as a warm up.
“Good job, Moondae-hyung,” he sing-songs.
“Thanks,” Park Moondae nods. After a few silent beats of contemplation, he adds, “... Good luck.”
It’s an unneeded greeting though. Having been in the same group for years now and in the same survival show, they both know very well how much the other is capable of. While not one of the vocal line within TeSTAR, Cha Eugene is good enough to be a lead vocal in any other teams. Cha Eugene’s B+ vocal stat isn’t new knowledge to Park Moondae — yet, he says it all the same.
Something about his words makes the younger gleam brilliantly. Park Moondae can’t help but wonder, is the small sentence such a pleasing thing to hear?
“Yeah, thank you, Hyung! I’ll crush this.”
The younger quickly steps into the recording booth, while Park Moondae takes his place next to the sound engineer by the mixing table. The producer — part of their company’s in-house team and a senior familiar with TeSTAR and Kim Raebin’s usual styles — cues Cha Eugene in, guiding him in their usual way to try the intro’s rap lines. Recording goes smooth-sailing, a routine by now even if the song is a new one. Cha Eugene blazes through every line, noting the brief instructions of the producer and doing the retakes without a problem while putting his own spin on the melodies whenever appropriate. Park Moondae himself makes sure to chime in and give out his own opinions — to which, embarrassingly, Cha Eugene pays even more rapt attention to. He has always known that this guy is the type to concentrate only on things he personally finds important and setting aside everything else outside his field of vision — and while that has gotten better over the years, a sense of favoritism still sediments inside of Cha Eugene, he supposes. It’s not anything abnormal, to a certain degree, everyone is just like that — it’s just somewhat embarrassing when even the producer takes notice and even jokes about it.
“Cha Eugene-gun listens really well to you, Park Moondae-gun,” the man points out, chuckling a little.
“Yes... He’s a good dongsaeng.”
… It’s a very difficult thing to respond to. So Park Moondae is unable to do anything else but agree. Thankfully, the mic connecting them to the vocal booth isn’t pressed on.
The session is fast to be wrapped up, given both Cha Eugene’s and Park Moondae’s good conditions today. They don’t forget to say their thanks to the staff and the producer on their way out. The next pair on schedule should be Ryu Cheongwoo and Seon Ahyeon with a dance track that also shouldn’t take them too long to record. Still, the clock points past two and Cha Eugene is staring off dreamily at the mention of lunch.
An hour later, two bowls of ham and potato soup and a shared plate of salad are safely set in front of them. The two are holed up in one of the many rooms lining the company building. Cha Eugene splits a pair of wooden chopsticks and hands it over to Park Moondae before doing the same for his set while Park Moondae opens the lids of their containers.
“Cha Eugene. Are you sure this would be enough?”
It’s a lot less food than Cha Eugene usually goes for.
“It’s OK, it’s OK! We need to watch out for our health since it’ll be active period soon.”
While that certainly is true, something still unsettles Park Moondae still. This guy who’s usually the definition of a glutton with a bottomless pit of a stomach, suddenly holding back like this? Cha Eugene is more than capable of maintaining his condition on his own normally, but this is a bit too much of a restraint even for him.
“Let’s just eat, Hyung.” A hand tugs on Park Moondae and he reluctantly follows along, sitting on the chair next to Cha Eugene. Both of them dive into the food with a short greeting, out of habitual politeness more than anything even if it’s just the two of them.
The ham and potato soup is delicious as always, though it’s a given seeing how many times TeSTAR has ordered from this particular place already — it’s one of their group’s favorite restaurants to get delivery from. The sight of Cha Eugene chewing on a bite of the chicken salad is heart-warming somehow — maybe this is why they say guys who eat well tend to advance far in life.
Wordlessly, Park Moondae nudges some more chicken cuts to Cha Eugene using his fork, which Cha Eugene quickly notices and accepts with happy and welcoming arms. They continue to eat together in this way until the plastic dishes are all emptied out. Once the containers are safely deposited in the trash can, Cha Eugene comes back to Park Moondae handing him a water bottle. Moondae himself long finished hydrating himself, now rummaging through the small bag he brings today to find his lip balm as he scrolls through the group chat and finds a new message from Bae Sejin — a picture of the busy set for the upcoming drama he’s starring in.
He’s just done applying the lip balm when Cha Eugene leans in out of the blue, smoothly stealing a kiss. Park Moondae’s eyes widen, taken by surprise as the sensation of Cha Eugene’s soft lips press against his for a moment. Cha Eugene lets himself linger and Park Moondae flutters his eyes shut as the warmth clings to him, sitting around for a moment before the heat travels down and spreads to his whole body, creating a home out of the sense of peace and satisfaction that rumbles pleasantly in his chest. When they part, Cha Eugene’s yellow eyes seem striking as molten gold and something heavy swirls there, awfully familiar like all the other times they’re together and the world blinks away into nothingness. The moment is broken once they’re far enough, slowly disintegrating into something gentler. Cha Eugene’s lips curve into a loving crescent moon and Park Moondae’s fondness surges upwards as tides do.
Even the cheeky grin that comes after does little to change this. Eugene licks his lips, eyes knowing and flirtatious, full of teasing mischief, and then smiles, all toothy and beloved, as he asks, “Sweet. Moondae-hyung’s lip balm, is it strawberry?”
It takes Moondae a few moments to reply, mirroring the smile on Cha Eugene’s lips with another one of his own, entirely too smug this time.
“Wrong. It’s cherry.”